Late Show's Advent Calendar For Adults

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  • Published on Dec 22, 2018
  • Christmas can be stressful for families but The Late Show Advent Calendar for Adults has everything you need to get you through the holidays.
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    ---
    The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
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Comments • 111

  • Cari Garafalo
    Cari Garafalo 4 months ago

    Ha ha... sissy European lisp thingy

  • Kelvin Adcock
    Kelvin Adcock 4 months ago

    Donald Trump has been giving you a lot to talk about in your absence.

  • elnura resiste
    elnura resiste 4 months ago

    hey Stephen Colbert, when are coming back to work, I miss you! It's been a very long holiday for you. Some people need to work and need to be able to laugh in the evening.

  • DRIVE - CHILL & GRILL
    DRIVE - CHILL & GRILL 4 months ago

    Nice Video 👍

  • Marc R
    Marc R 4 months ago

    Is Stephen coming back or is he on holidays until 2020?

  • Z H
    Z H 4 months ago

    This better be the lazy one

  • Michael Lemay
    Michael Lemay 4 months ago

    Disappointed in the Late Show. Sexism is fine as long as it's directed at men I guess.

  • Eileen D
    Eileen D 4 months ago

    Not funny but also disappointing. If Colbert was truly a Catholic he wouldn't allow this. If he was a true comedian, same standard.

  • rob slover
    rob slover 4 months ago

    they forgot the blue mushrooms and tylenol with codeine....

  • Alicat Gtz
    Alicat Gtz 4 months ago

    lol this is great

  • Eduardo Henrique Ciappina

    You were better!

  • twodogs716
    twodogs716 5 months ago

    The way this schmuck throws around the name of Jesus and denigrates God by/for humor, guarantees him a one way ticket to hell / the lake of fire.

    • Robert Smith
      Robert Smith 4 months ago

      Hell is where the party's at, why would you want to miss out on that?

  • Mahmoud El Arch
    Mahmoud El Arch 5 months ago

    re-uploads are common in here these days !

  • saultube44
    saultube44 5 months ago

    "Jesus" always understands because it doesn't exists as a God, maybe existed as a person but to this day there is controversy, noGods from any religion has ever been proven nor demonstrated, it's all a collusion to try to rail people into doing the Right Thing, but people understand better and is more dignified if it is an explanation, not a fairy tale for adults. Afterlife? No proof we have no control over what's going to happen, nor to avoid it, nor to know what's going to happen after our death, so why even worry about it? be the best version of yourself, every day of your life, any God would understand that, anyway you'll live a good life and be happy probably. Marry Christmas

  • Daynan
    Daynan 5 months ago

    Is that Laura Benanti I hear? 😄

  • Bos La Moss
    Bos La Moss 5 months ago

    That was a minute of my life I will never get back....Stephen used to actually be funny.

    • Dave of OZ
      Dave of OZ 5 months ago

      You poor sad deluded creationist.

  • Andrew Turner
    Andrew Turner 5 months ago

    To whatever group of people wrote this thing-that's not how one enjoys cough syrup. There are funny writers on this show; please go back to doing spreadsheets or whatever it was that you were doing before. And by the way, happy holidays.

  • Ross Parlette
    Ross Parlette 5 months ago

    Javier is jot!

  • Canadaheather
    Canadaheather 5 months ago +2

    She had me at pasty bloated husband

  • Andria Marie
    Andria Marie 5 months ago +4

    Heck yeah! (Notice men aren't considered "adults")

  • Kit Coffey
    Kit Coffey 5 months ago +3

    Which door has the weed?

  • Zesty
    Zesty 5 months ago

    ru-clip.com/video/Wr_3qrAxCrg/video.html

  • 984francis
    984francis 5 months ago +33

    "Christmas is the happiest time of year" unless you're single or part of a family!

  • Heather Holzhaus
    Heather Holzhaus 5 months ago

    Ahaaaa. Best.

  • WD Harris
    WD Harris 5 months ago +1

    I just use Xanax

  • GdoubleWB
    GdoubleWB 5 months ago +13

    Advent Calendar for Bitter Soon-To-Be-Divorcees who regret their life choices and are now trying to reclaim their youth at age 41.

  • Rich Winder
    Rich Winder 5 months ago +12

    'Twas the night before Christmas, and in the Southern White House,
    not a creature was stirring, except for, the Chief Louse.
    The stockings were hung by the fireplace flue,
    in hopes of donations, and maybe a bribe or two.
    The children were sweating, behind a locked door,
    because their house guest, was Rotten Roy Moore.
    Melania, as always, went to bed early,
    with a headache or something - It made Donald quite surly.
    And as he was preparing to type, from atop his gold throne,
    on the newest of his strange, audio-glitched phone,
    there came a loud clatter, from out on the street,
    that got his attention, before he could tweet.
    He ran to the window, and drew back the drapes,
    and glimpsed on the lawn, some shadowy shapes.
    And out on the road, many cars were now parked,
    but, only a few, were obviously marked.
    The flashing red and blue lights, gave a lustre of doom,
    to the whole region - the house now felt like a tomb.
    And then to add, to the events of the day,
    Out popped Bob Mueller, from an FBI sleigh.
    The wizened old lawman, then raised to his face,
    his old favorite bullhorn, and it boomed out his case.
    "The place is surrounded, and all of you, in the home,
    exit right now, without resistance, not even an ohm."
    And in the background, their image a blur,
    with the sounds that they made, 'twas akin to a churr.
    But they were the "team", that pulled this sled of dread,
    in a harness of plea deals, stitched with live wire thread.
    Mikey and Mikey and Geo and Paul,
    Rick and Carter and Alex, et al.
    They are the reignrats who chose to sing,
    and yield this Trumpy trainwreck of a thing.
    Donald was worried, so he said with a moan,
    "Call up the Grinch - Get Vlad on the phone"!
    He told his ole buddy to please be quite swift,
    and send something fast, for a rapid airlift.
    But Putin said, " Donnie, you must help yourself-
    maybe you shouldn't have fired your elf".
    And as the line went eerily dead,
    Trump thought for a sec, and called the Senate instead.
    Mitch picked up, on about the tenth ring,
    and Trump blurted out, "My butt's in a sling!"
    The Majority leader thought about it quite hard,
    and said "It's a big one, to encase that much lard".
    And as Donalds heart, sank to his feet,
    He looked over to Matt, on whom he was sweet.
    But Whitaker, this time, was on his toes,
    and gave Don the bird, then up the chimney he rose.
    The family was huddled as the door gave way to the breach,
    and in walked Chris Wray, with a warrant for each.
    Then as they were served, Chris said with a drawl,
    "You knew this was coming, Merry Christmas to All".

    • Ricardo Ortiz-Joseph
      Ricardo Ortiz-Joseph 5 months ago +1

      Rich Winder
      Sweet dreams are made of this...

    • James Toole
      James Toole 5 months ago

      Brewers kiln

      Brewers kiln


      Brewers kiln
      Thanks so m and I

  • Shigemi Notoge
    Shigemi Notoge 5 months ago +7

    BOO to the more PC version. Original is better.

  • Steven Cahn
    Steven Cahn 5 months ago +2

    That was funnier than tonight's monologue...

  • Cheryl Sibson
    Cheryl Sibson 5 months ago

    Advents are like, It's like the cycle of Time=equal effort= happiness You wanted to be happy, yet, I'll be happier when XY or Z is done, and yet when XY or Z is done, eh, you'll figure it out. Joy is dancing in the snow, jumping in the wind, a warm fire when you are cold eh, you'll figure it out, Greeting the seasons is an event, not a milestone, you got your whole life to figure out what makes "you" happy! You don't need for me to tell you nothing new? You already know this.

  • Cin
    Cin 5 months ago

    Score !!!

  • Adonis
    Adonis 5 months ago +1

    Oh that was good. So funny.

  • Alma Bonilla
    Alma Bonilla 5 months ago +1

    Too many alcohol and medication references 0_o what are ya'll trying to do?! Sketchyyy

  • Gothic Mom
    Gothic Mom 5 months ago

    Wooo hooo....I want one of those!!!😄😄😄

  • Daria Ivanova
    Daria Ivanova 5 months ago

    😂😂😂

  • Schwindsichtiga der Echte
    Schwindsichtiga der Echte 5 months ago +1

    50s sexism, now for women! Again!

  • Jack Celliers
    Jack Celliers 5 months ago +29

    I take it the oregano has been legalized since the previous upload?

  • Zandeus
    Zandeus 5 months ago +10

    I wonder how well a joke about a man wanting to get away from his fat pasty wife and run away with a beautiful supermodel woman would go over?
    Yeah... there's no double standard *rolls eyes*

    • Michael Lemay
      Michael Lemay 4 months ago

      +Andria Marie Incredibly sexist.

    • Ricardo Ortiz-Joseph
      Ricardo Ortiz-Joseph 5 months ago

      Zandeus
      Eeeyup...

    • Andria Marie
      Andria Marie 5 months ago +5

      what? you mean the stinky farting creature glued to the tv sports channel? the one that eats all the food and never does the dishes? that one?

  • heredownunder
    heredownunder 5 months ago +1

    Tan?

  • Igor Schmidlapp
    Igor Schmidlapp 5 months ago +1

    This shitty bit is just as bad the second time...

  • Commenter Person
    Commenter Person 5 months ago +1

    AAARRRGGGG!!!!
    The volume of the music (at end of video) is way too loud.
    Your web-audio team are still not listening to RU-clip audiences.
    I'll keep thumbing down all your videos until this _ear-drums-abuse_ is ended.
    Stephen Colbert Audio "Engineer" ---> -Idiots- _Incompetent_

  • Tahron Davis
    Tahron Davis 5 months ago +2

    That got dark and personal lol

  • Scrambled 59
    Scrambled 59 5 months ago

    Who said advent calendars weren't for adults?

  • Birdsong
    Birdsong 5 months ago +1

    Annoyingly long commercial :/ that’s all that’s there.

  • faarsight
    faarsight 5 months ago +1

    The late show encouraging cheating on your spouse? Ok then.

  • Bridgette Alley
    Bridgette Alley 5 months ago

    Lmao! No!
    Im in!!😂💛😂💛 🙌

    • Bridgette Alley
      Bridgette Alley 5 months ago

      @Andria Marie-lol
      Haha 😁🎄🎁😁

    • Andria Marie
      Andria Marie 5 months ago

      +Paul B oooh, the pasty bloated husband speaks!

    • Bridgette Alley
      Bridgette Alley 5 months ago

      Ya...Paul, its not meant to be taken seriously. Lol
      Enjoy your holidays!
      And Merry Christmas.......Dick

    • Paul B
      Paul B 5 months ago +1

      Bridgette Alley ok, have fun crashing your car or getting arrested for dui drugs

  • Space-Cadet David 'Spanky Bonespurs' Dennison :

    loop. Help, I’m stuck in a time...

    • ErykaSoleil
      ErykaSoleil 5 months ago +3

      They're different versions of the same segment. This one has no "oregano", and instead of deserting her loving family, she is now escaping her ungrateful family that takes advantage of her.

  • CasualGamer!
    CasualGamer! 5 months ago +97

    They cut the “what we’re calling oregano” part, and changed the family dynamics “mom deserting her loving family” to “mom leaving her ungrateful children” lmao

    • Donald Krause
      Donald Krause 4 months ago

      TidePods? Do they out date?

    • Rocksfir e
      Rocksfir e 4 months ago +2

      +Igor Schmidlapp
      we have been wishing for that for many years now. one can ONLY hope.
      @ Shigemi Notoge
      have you watched the original version? it's the exact same thing expect this one is for X-mas.....

    • Shigemi Notoge
      Shigemi Notoge 5 months ago

      +Rocksfir e So I take it you never saw the original version of this, then?

    • Igor Schmidlapp
      Igor Schmidlapp 5 months ago +4

      +Rocksfir e I'd just like to see a COMPLETE monologue upload, not the chopped up pieces that get uploaded... some intern needs to get coal in their stocking... :-P

    • Daynan
      Daynan 5 months ago +3

      This version hit the notes better. "Barthelona"! 🤣

  • Esoteric One
    Esoteric One 5 months ago

    Hilarious !!!!

  • Lazy Perfectionist
    Lazy Perfectionist 5 months ago

    That's twice, now. 🤷

  • Mares Fillies
    Mares Fillies 5 months ago

    IWTCITS is December 24th ;)

  • Kidlike101
    Kidlike101 5 months ago +11

    vodka + cough syrup + Car keys = It's Christmas everyone!

  • ursaltydog
    ursaltydog 5 months ago +10

    drive after drinking a shot of vodka chased by cough syrup.. uh huh..

    • Ricardo Ortiz-Joseph
      Ricardo Ortiz-Joseph 5 months ago +1

      ursaltydog
      I see

    • ursaltydog
      ursaltydog 5 months ago

      +Ricardo Ortiz-Joseph Actually there is a lot of psychologists who have data and medical tests asserting that a human's brain is often not matured until around 23 years of age to understand their actions that lead to consequences, such as alcohol intake. Unlike previous civilizations in which children were expected to be grown at 11-13.. But modern times, we've had laws asserting 18 was the cut off.. Lately, that's been reversed, pushing age backward, to hold children accountable for accidental deaths and not realizing that death is death..

    • Ricardo Ortiz-Joseph
      Ricardo Ortiz-Joseph 5 months ago

      Paul B
      I’m 25 and I’m not dumb enough to try that

    • ursaltydog
      ursaltydog 5 months ago +1

      +Paul B I'm personally conservative, but socially and fiscally liberal in policies that benefit lower and middle class, as they truly support and drive the economy much more than the elite. I read the general constitution in liberal manner as it was intended to grow with our nation, as opposed to strict interpretation except for the intents of such amendments. Not sure how that would classify me, but perhaps a Justice Democrat with caveats..

    • Paul B
      Paul B 5 months ago +3

      ursaltydog im a far left centrist. In economics im a commie, but in civil/personal rights, im in the middle.

  • Гоголь Надоел

    Удивлен отсутствием упоминания Путина

  • Priscilla Jimenez
    Priscilla Jimenez 5 months ago +85

    December 16th: divorce papers and a passport.

    17th!

  • Varun bundy
    Varun bundy 5 months ago +41

    I think the uploader is high uploading the same content twice

    • Joshua Rose
      Joshua Rose 5 months ago +5

      +ErykaSoleil It was probably more grounded the first time (and I thought the "oregano" was a nice touch in the original)

    • ErykaSoleil
      ErykaSoleil 5 months ago +9

      They've edited it differently. As someone else has pointed out elsewhere in the comments, they took out the "oregano", and changed the verbiage so that she's not deserting her loving family that's inconveniencing her, but escaping her family who doesn't appreciate her and takes advantage of her.

  • carli max
    carli max 5 months ago +22

    Treasons Greetings ! Everyone :)

    • sprybug
      sprybug 5 months ago +2

      Holy shit, that avatar! XD

  • New Message
    New Message 5 months ago +30

    That's what I call my liquor cabinet.

  • Jari Fuller
    Jari Fuller 5 months ago +5

    jesus, will understand

  • Benzaiten
    Benzaiten 5 months ago +10

    Javier here I come!

  • T.BONE/SIDE OF LIFE
    T.BONE/SIDE OF LIFE 5 months ago

    Wait till you open day 24, the real fun begins there.

  • Spot
    Spot 5 months ago +55

    re upload?

    • seth szajek
      seth szajek 5 months ago +5

      +Kyle Cronin thanks for linking that. I really like that version better. Funny they would choose the blatant cheating on your spouse version over the suggested cheating on your spouse version since they don't specifically mention him.

    • Kyle Cronin
      Kyle Cronin 5 months ago +15

      The old one is still up ru-clip.com/video/Wr_3qrAxCrg/video.html, it's actually surprisingly different

    • Drawn
      Drawn 5 months ago +10

      Yeah, with no kid saying 'Mum?' at the end....

  • Kevin Schafer
    Kevin Schafer 5 months ago +5

    Second posting

  • Jessica Spruit
    Jessica Spruit 5 months ago +14

    Didn't they do this bit already?

    • Shigemi Notoge
      Shigemi Notoge 5 months ago +8

      From what I gather this is a more "PC" version with no reference to weed, the love affair toned down, and the excuse that her family is ungrateful and that it somehow justifies abandoning her children.

    • Jim's videos
      Jim's videos 5 months ago +9

      Four or five days ago.

  • Napoleon I Bonaparte
    Napoleon I Bonaparte 5 months ago +38

    Which day are the TidePods?

    • Krafterr4
      Krafterr4 5 months ago +2

      Probably the last one.

  • Rachel El
    Rachel El 5 months ago +2

    4th comment?! Okay, yep. I won't beat this.

  • travel er
    travel er 5 months ago

    Supscribe me pls
    🎄🌨🎄🌨🎄

  • Relaxing White Noise HD
    Relaxing White Noise HD 5 months ago +10

    99% of people won't read this, but


    1% could u support my life dream to be the biggest relaxing music and sounds channel?
    I WISH U A HAPPY NEW YEAR FULL OF JOY, SUCCESS AND GOOD LUCK ❤

    • Let's Pretend
      Let's Pretend 5 months ago +1

      Relaxing White Noise HD not gonna happen, i dont support beggers

  • iMO
    iMO 5 months ago

    First. CHECK OUT my Bumblebee Movie Review