Lessons I learned from the breakup that nearly broke me: Cari Weinberg at TEDxCollegeMound

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  • Published on Jan 20, 2013
  • The attendees of TEDxCollegeMound became the speakers as they shared lessons they have learned with each other around a campfire.
    In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Comments • 157

  • Bellamy Adler
    Bellamy Adler 17 days ago

    i recently found help after a break up with my girlfriend. After i got this email here on youtube " (drphilipspelltemple @yahoo. com)" , we were able to get back together using love spell. To my greatest surprise it worked to perfection.. I got results in two weeks:D

  • Sams Randoms
    Sams Randoms 8 months ago

    My friends desserted me!

  • Chiara Rdn
    Chiara Rdn 9 months ago +1

    How is this a TED talk??? What would the idea worth spreading be?

  • All about Medicine
    All about Medicine 10 months ago

    Awesome

  • Cassandra Davis
    Cassandra Davis 10 months ago +1

    It’s also okay to feel your emotions to the fullest and not distract yourself every chance you get. I would actually argue that most of the time, grieving a loss and feeling it is very important. Of course we need relief from this and it’s great to try new things. But it’s also important to just lay in bed and cry and sit with your emotions.

  • Rohit Goswami
    Rohit Goswami 10 months ago

    Ee

  • E C
    E C 10 months ago

    Or you go through a really bad break up and your best friends you've known your whole life move away across the country, steal your old girlfriend, or get married themselves and all abandon you completely. Yeah. Try that route and see where it takes you... 9 years later this October and still haven't worked through it.

  • Mr.Blunt
    Mr.Blunt Year ago

    Fuckin gucamyyrä

  • A New Love Official
    A New Love Official Year ago +2

    Every break up has it's own story, most of them are traumatic and I was one wo had experienced it. I thought I'm not gonna heal anymore but time is the ultimate healer. All you have to do is just embrace the pain but be sure that at the end of the day you'll make yourself okay because break up is not the end but perhaps it's the start of something new.

  • Brian Larson
    Brian Larson Year ago

    This is ridiculous. How is this a Ted Talk? Do you honestly think that telling people to read the news about everything terrible that’s going on in the world is good advice for making yourself feel better? Comparing your breakup to a suicide bombing is not putting things in perspective.

  • Kate Oelerich
    Kate Oelerich Year ago

    Some guy have very bad timing he couldn't break up with her until she got back from her trip. I can relate though my ex- boyfriend broke up with me the morning of my birthday when we had planned on going on trip together he wouldn't answer my calls and he just got his brother to text me it was over. I end up going on the trip on my own.

  • Steve David
    Steve David Year ago

    Hi Cari - No doubt you are in far better place now - do you / are you still reading any of these comments?:

  • Hanna Olson
    Hanna Olson Year ago +2

    Don’t go through a difficult life experience if you aren’t rich. Got it!

  • Jackie Secades
    Jackie Secades Year ago

    Thanks for sharing your story! You are very brave to do so in such a public way. Hopefully you have found a new love.

  • acajudi100
    acajudi100 Year ago +1

    Do not shack with anyone. Marriage or live apart.

  • Anon Guy
    Anon Guy Year ago +1

    I tried... I love all the other Relationship Ted Talks on this playlist but this is simply insufferable, egotistical, & at its best is not even an anecdotal story with a lesson to be found.

  • Clarissa Garcia
    Clarissa Garcia Year ago +1

    I honestly think its good to GO through the emotions... distractions only work for so long before bottled emotions erupt.

  • c dub
    c dub Year ago

    She talks like she is crying which makes it seem like she hasnt recovered

  • Rich Moog
    Rich Moog Year ago

    Beautifully vulnerable. Thank you for sharing and also giving valuable advice.

  • Laura Severino
    Laura Severino Year ago +1

    Why leaving unkind comments? Does that make you feel better?

  • Simone Turner
    Simone Turner Year ago

    This is so amazing! xo

  • Prateek Dighe
    Prateek Dighe Year ago

    You are really very strong and a beautiful person at heart :)

  • Rose Nanda
    Rose Nanda 2 years ago

    One of the best Ted talk on breakup. Loved it. It had some rational steps and ideas on how to recover than many people just telling you that breakup could be good thing. As for the female privilege or being in France, losing a 4.5 years of relationship fucking hurts bad no matter where or who on the Earth you are.

  • Sneha Mishra
    Sneha Mishra 2 years ago

    You could've donated those things to charity but it's okay.

  • ujgilani
    ujgilani 2 years ago

    only camera man is in the audience

  • 123456789 123456789
    123456789 123456789 2 years ago

    try losing the few friends you've had since elementary school die before 40, losing your parents to cancer,losing your sisters ,moved across the opposite side of the county,no contact in 14 years,not having ,the resources you need to do want you really want to,having more month than money to get through it,then miraculously,meeting the girl of your dreams, hearing her tell you all the time,shell never hurt you or leave you ,loves you through everything she does ,re inspires you makes you feel safe,and like a king,for 3 years ,then suddenly walks out of your life ,without any contract,or reason or answers,doesn't acknowledge your existence and you have nobody to talk to no support, nothing, you start researching and realize ,you were dating a covert bordline,a type of narcissistic person that feeds of your every weakness and has moral standards of a pig,actually that would insult a pig, this cowardly narcissist,has a huge ,rich family,tons of friends and always feels entitled ,doesn't take responsibility for anything ,and lies to everyone including family ,heartbreak is heartbreak nomatter what your situation,but having friends and a somewhat abundant life and family that cares sure would be a nice addition to your pain and confusion, going through it alone is the hardest thing i struggle with inner conflict and can't stop feeling worthless ,even tho i have built a successful business and do well with work related issues,i have no personal life and am questioning everything

  • Ben Martyn Music
    Ben Martyn Music 2 years ago +1

    After a brief look through the comments, people are either complaining/jealous about her finances and expensive trips or complaining about this not being a traditional "TED talk". I'm pretty sure everyone experiences heartbreak, regardless of wealth or other life experience. With that in mind, I think this video is much more human and "relateable" than some other TED talks.

  • Julie Hammontree
    Julie Hammontree 2 years ago +1

    wow! she is super pruvileged. friends put her on planes to distract her? man, I'd just like to have friends who invite me over for coffee! wish I had her resources.

  • Aratas Man
    Aratas Man 2 years ago +1

    Hello strangers on youtube
    This has nothing to do with Ted Talks this is just my breakup story and it's the honest to god reality, I didn't try to make myself look good or her bad, just the documented facts. I do believe my story is unique in many ways but someone might still learn a thing or two from it. So read if you want and if not well this is a place for me to get something off my chest, sorry.
    Well you see I didn't have a happy childhood, my mother had these issues and would erupt in anger over nothing and beat me bloody as the eldest child, my father was either unwilling or incapable of interfering and protecting me. So from a very young age I had no real emotional and caring support in my household and had numerous times attempted to escape.
    That's the context and that's where my ex came in my life. She was the first girl who expressed interest in me (I was always to shy to approach girls) and by the first time she held my hand I fell for her completely as a means to obtain love and affection. She even had an affair but like a chump I forgave her and in the 8 years that we were together not once I mentioned that. Not only that but after a year or so from the start of the relationship (and before her affair) I immigrated to Canada and then secretly and without telling anyone in my family I married her and sponsored here.
    I had obtained a master's from a Canadian university but as we were starting our lives together and needed money and as finding a job for me was taking too long I took on minimum paying jobs to support my family while she attended classes for new immigrant women which offered job placements. And that's how she got her foot in. After she got her steady job I tried to get into the job market myself but all I could get was temporary and project based positions while she (being the hard worker and workaholic she is) slowly advanced in her career.
    I won't lie here, I was dealing with depression and feelings of adequacy all these years and my unemployment was weighing heavily on me but in all instances I did everything in my power to make her life comfortable and I'm not exaggerating but anyone who ever saw us together could tell how much I loved her, and now that I think back she didn't even offer me emotional support or affection, but me as she was my very first girlfriend had no idea what to expect from my "life" partner so I let everything slide and even made jokes that we need at least a dog in our family so I too can get some affection.
    And that's why I went to porn sites and started chatting with people (and I know many of them are probably just guys pretending to be girls). I never even speak with anyone or saw one on webcam let alone meeting one in person and I made 3 "friends" whom I mostly chatted with who had personal problems and I tried to help them and be a supportive person, and I repeat to this day I have to idea if those women are real or not, never spoke to one or saw them.
    And that was my sin(or that's what she claims) and when my ex found out (she used to go through my laptop and back account and I just considered all these silly and funny) she said she doesn't want this relationship anymore. Let me back up a bit, that day I was sitting on the bed and called to her to come there so we could cuddle a bit and when she came in she just said I'm breaking up with you. Just like that.
    My goal all these years was to make her life easy so I didn't even make a fuss, I went down to a supermarket, got some boxes and put all my clothes in those and left everything else as not to affect her quality of life in any way. I was still unemployed and if my brother wasn't kind enough to offer me his couch I would have ended up homeless.
    When I called and met her a few days later and asked how on earth a 10 year old relationship can disintegrate like this and if there's an issue here we should try to resolve it as a couple all she said was that this is what she wanted and if I don't respect her choice she would call the cops on me. And when I told her that I'm so heart broken and sad that I'm thinking about suicide her response was "this is a weak person's talk, I don't want a weak person in my life"
    So yes this is the story of my breakup so far (I just left out some parts that makes me look like an even bigger fool) and even now I don't think she's a bad person per say but extremely self centered, calculating and ungrateful, qualities that are polar opposite of mine. I do know my faults and problems and for sure I wasn't the perfect boyfriend(she made me hide the fact that I married and sponsored her, so calling us husband and wife was a no no) but she was far from one either.
    If you're still reading this well I hope you get something out of it. But that's the story of how my love and trust was betrayed my fellow internet friends. I wish nothing like this on anyone, and if I'd want to leave you with something it's this: love is a precious commodity, don't spend it on just anybody.

  • James Apperson
    James Apperson 2 years ago

    "they shared lessons they have learned", through the experience of life.
    I just listened to the whole thing.
    I found her input to be every bit as valuable (potentially life-saving, for someone with relevant needs)
    as any Ted Talk I've seen.

    That's TED enough for me.

  • Andrea Ketzel
    Andrea Ketzel 2 years ago +1

    There are a lot of mean, insensitive comments here. I also can not relate to having a lot of friends to send me places or give me tickets. Nor can I afford a landscaper, or do I even have a lawn FOR a landscaper. Her reality is much different than a lot of ours. HOWEVER, heartbreak is heartbreak... all the money in the world doesn't make that any easier. The basic message is the same though... you have to figure out how to make it work for yourself and fill that void within yourself. I wonder how many people that hide behind a computer screen and make mean comments would actually say those things to someone's face.

  • fan_bollywood me
    fan_bollywood me 2 years ago

    not so impressive.,,,this is worst TED talk I watched til now...

  • zillizzy
    zillizzy 2 years ago

    i THINK THIS WAS A GREAT TALK. It is perhaps something that only someone else who has dealt with sort of struggle and loss will understand or appreciate. This ted talk is a raw account of how lost and broken you can become after intertwining your life with someone. To be faced with being blindsided and broken and she is reminding us that we are human and thats ok, and not everyone is made of stone. I am grateful for this as I have gone through similar pain after a for year relationship . Every person and their story is different but to share an authentic experience such as this one may reach only one other person so that they know they aren't alone and accepting your feelings is crucial ... yea.

  • sparklydiamond
    sparklydiamond 2 years ago +10

    What lessons did she really learn from the breakup? For me, it sounds like she avoided the situation and experience of going through the breakup by distracting herself. So how can she get get over the breakup up if she avoided thinking about it? The heart needs time to heal. I thought she was going to reveal what she learned about herself during this difficult time.

  • Natalie K
    Natalie K 2 years ago

    Yeah, annoying video.

  • Ariel Grushka
    Ariel Grushka 2 years ago

    I kind of expected more... lol was nice watching though :)

  • Ricky Grey
    Ricky Grey 2 years ago +7

    This breakup was horrible. Losing your future is not easy.

  • Michelle Renee
    Michelle Renee 2 years ago +45

    Everyone is so hyperfocused on her finances. Seriously people?! I guess if you work hard to create a comfortable life you aren't allowed to feel any emotional devastation - even if its caused by an @-hole that breaks up after 4 years over the phone! She's merely trying to give positive advice - and even states that she was fortunate to be in her position through the whole ordeal. Thank you for sharing you heart and thoughts to those open to looking for positive suggestions in moving forward in their own lives. 💗

  • Beautyizme 10000
    Beautyizme 10000 2 years ago +1

    The biggest problem I see is EXTRA CLOSET SPACE!!!👍🏼👍🏼😜😜🙆🏼🙆🏼

  • Adam
    Adam 2 years ago +25

    This video is poor. There is nothing of relevance or any real insight to the viewer. It's just an account of a relationship breakup of young, reasonably affluent American white girl.

  • Carol Czyk
    Carol Czyk 2 years ago +16

    Damn! this is one tough crowd!!

  • Julie Kinzey
    Julie Kinzey 2 years ago +4

    For clarification: this was not a sanctioned TEDx talk. Note the description, this person was an attendee.

  • Angela'sGamePlay
    Angela'sGamePlay 2 years ago +2

    This was sweet. You put your heart out there and i appreciate how hard that must've been. Thank you for your story and i'm hoping? glad you're over your heartbreak.

  • J Gunn
    J Gunn 3 years ago

    Always Jews why?

  • Cierra Johnson
    Cierra Johnson 3 years ago +23

    I want to feel sympathy for this woman but how out of touch is she? 1st world much? Her boyfriend sucked for breaking up over the phone, but she was lucky enough to go to france on a cruise, and have rich friends to send her on a plane to travel? wtf? how is this relatable at all?

    • Kel Vin
      Kel Vin 2 years ago

      I see what you're saying but that privilege only exists because it's rooted in the idea that women are weak and in need of help, which is part of a much bigger oppression. Women often internalize this oppression and act this way as they have been convinced that they actually do need help.

    • writerconsidered
      writerconsidered 2 years ago +3

      She also had female privilege and cried to her landscaper and got a deal from him to mow the grass. That must be that self reliance thing going on.
      Mowing her own lawn wasn't an option.

    • Anila S R
      Anila S R 2 years ago +1

      .

  • MJforever5690
    MJforever5690 3 years ago +27

    I guess everyone experiences their own struggles whether big or small but this was like so...white girl problems

  • Kenneth Donnelly
    Kenneth Donnelly 3 years ago +6

    Yep, all good comments below all reflecting the person's perspective and orientation. Breakups are Quite Impossible, for a while of course, and I've found I can only embrace the pain as fully as possible; yes Staying Busy and Involved in life is critical(!), but Feel the pain and do things anyway. Do NOT repress it, deny it, ignore it. It loses it's power over you the more you Face it; talk about it, Write about it.
    Hardest goddamn thing I experienced when wife left. We struggle over the Whys and Wherefores, but you know what? Most people aren't really sure Why, seldom fully understand it themselves. It Just Happens That Way. Also, even if the Other DOES know 'why,' exactly, sometimes it's better NOT to tell them. Really. Life can be such Crap in these experiences, but it does get better this way...most of the time! Do NOT give up or in. Cheers, all..

    • Diamond Roses
      Diamond Roses 3 years ago +1

      Great advise!!...going through the same thing. Questions always pop-up but in the end it doesn't matter. All that is left is yourself and your broken-heart... Only you can heal it!❤

  • Cody Carden
    Cody Carden 3 years ago +2

    you should have sold the guitar.

  • QueenBee Bargains
    QueenBee Bargains 3 years ago

    My best friend isn't in my life anymore,my sister is somewhat,but it was brought up again when he bf cheated on her and she told me,why are you worried about things that happened so long ago?! All I want is for her to admit it and say sorry.She can't even do that! My trust is gone in people 4-ever. thx for commenting xo.

  • seven skies
    seven skies 3 years ago +2

    What kind of man he was to breakup with yoh when u were on vacations with family. Very stupid n cruel! How bad is that! It was really nice listening to all this.I'm Going through the same time n trying the same things. 😊 Goodluck for your next relationship!

  • QueenBee Bargains
    QueenBee Bargains 3 years ago +1

    Whining stupid girl!! My bf of 5 years had an affair with my SISTER!! and my next bf who knew what happened to me before had an affair with my BEST FRIEND!! and both of these were not one night stands either,they lasted at least 3 months.My sister did this to me while I was in the hospital too!! so quit whining Lil girl,you have no idea what pain really is!

    • MFO
      MFO 3 years ago

      wow! that bitch wouldn't be in my life anymore, best friend too! you need to surround yourself with people who value you!

  • brnt034
    brnt034 3 years ago +4

    she should have taken her boyfriend on the cruise. my ex-wife went on a family cruise and pulled that shit with me, and I just took it as her way of saying it was over. never saw her again.

  • john lindsay
    john lindsay 3 years ago +5

    Poor thing! Title should be "Life in La La Land". I tried not to be cynical during this. I hope this was off the cuff if not wipe your runny little nose. This was actually depressing.

  • John Larson
    John Larson 3 years ago +47

    Wow... Cruises, a supportive family, home interior design makeovers, concerts and film festivals, lots of friends with free food and money, a fun visit to a psychic, plenty of vacation time(?) from work, some road trips, and a super cute new Sonic Youth shirt? Am I the only who can't relate to ANY of that?

    • Es Escobar
      Es Escobar Year ago

      John Larson hahahahah👍👍

    • Pretty Girl_me
      Pretty Girl_me Year ago

      John Larson 🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣

    • writerconsidered
      writerconsidered 2 years ago +5

      I missed most of that I got to the point where she was crying to her landscaper to get her lawn mowed. Since she didn't decide to mow it herself
      I decided she wasn't worth listening too.

    • Arikm7
      Arikm7 3 years ago +7

      +John Larson you're not alone… I would consider such people terminally boring, insipid and utterly "get-the-fuck-out-of-my-sight". Her voice started to get to me 3 minutes into it. "it's okay to admit to weakness".. Okay. I couldn't handle her freaking whiney voice for a moment longer.. :)

  • Marisela Hocker
    Marisela Hocker 3 years ago

    and um.....and um......and um......and um...... I cant anymore. I apologize but please its enough TED TALKS c'mon

    • Arikm7
      Arikm7 3 years ago +1

      +Marisela Hocker EXACTLY.. um.. and.. out of your mind.. and just so you know… god, give me an ice pic us out of our misery.. I can't believe she still has anyone left. Hell, I'd leave her!

  • berryfairy68
    berryfairy68 3 years ago +2

    I missed the point of this babble.

    • Arikm7
      Arikm7 3 years ago

      +berryfairy68 don't worry.. most of the people were probably stoned.. so..

  • Ana Loza
    Ana Loza 3 years ago +1

    You're so strong! I'm in a similar situation..Its not easy but it has made me STRONG! I cant wait to completely heal from this pain :)
    I've learned to enjoy the healing process.
    Thank you for sharing your story!

    • DownFall
      DownFall 3 years ago +2

      +Ana Loza I agree. Heartbreak is one of the hardest things I've come across in life, but looking forward to what you can do from that experience sheds some light on life.

  • maskof
    maskof 3 years ago +47

    So,, this is a TED talk because??? Was her boyfriends name Ted?

  • bendrormoran
    bendrormoran 3 years ago

    at least your boyfriend wasn't with you on the boat!!!!
    tell thanks to god.
    my f***ing ex broke up with me at first day on Yacht when we came to greece, I needed to suffer him 5 days on the same boat with his friends!!! but I know the Karma is exit. I know he will get what he deserves!

  • Sharana Hanes
    Sharana Hanes 3 years ago +1

    utter rubbish !! u will waste ur time listening to this one!! specially wen u need help its bugging that ppl post this senseless crap that doesn't help!!

  • Shannon Nunn
    Shannon Nunn 3 years ago +12

    mow your own lawn

    • 55Herbie1
      55Herbie1 3 years ago

      LOL

    • Shannon Nunn
      Shannon Nunn 3 years ago

      +55Herbie1 I don't know about better, just richer...

    • 55Herbie1
      55Herbie1 3 years ago +1

      The main lesson I got of it is: I need better friends :-)

    • Shannon Nunn
      Shannon Nunn 3 years ago +4

      right, lttle rich kids have such a skewed perspective on the real struggle.... She even had friends fly her to vacation spots.... Ted talks even lowered the bar and let her talk....

    • 55Herbie1
      55Herbie1 3 years ago +1

      +Shannon Nunn What??!! and put the Mexicans out of work?

  • Service Source
    Service Source 3 years ago +1

    you are shallow, and you are fake! I would have broke up with you too, if you talked like you do, my word lady!

  • Nadia Mengucci
    Nadia Mengucci 3 years ago +3

    I'm sorry, I feel for her breakup but...she doesn't look over it nor ok, I'm not taking advice from her ... then again how lame am I to look for help and advice on youtube (?)

  • vidkidxyz
    vidkidxyz 3 years ago

    Yard mans bill ? Cell phone bill ? So you were mooching off the man... And you had not figured out how to support yourself on a budget until he left... It figures.

  • Carolyn B.
    Carolyn B. 4 years ago

    Seriously high class problems! Friends put you on planes for a change of scenery. Wow. Wonder how much the psychic and all those bands cost.Try waiting on a food pantry line in the scorching sun or better yet volunteer at one.

    • Carolyn B.
      Carolyn B. 4 years ago

      @Carolyn B. This should be titled, "The Story of How Kim Gordon is my Spirit Animal" because unless i missed it, this "poor thing" didn't speak one word about learning lessons from a breakup.

    • Carolyn B.
      Carolyn B. 4 years ago

      @Carolyn B. This made me sick. I couldn't even watch the whole thing. Petty but, winter scarf and a tee shirt? Just don't seem to jive.

  • MollyTTree
    MollyTTree 4 years ago +8

    Not all of us have such friends. And so that was the point?

  • Imogen Neumann
    Imogen Neumann 4 years ago +16

    Mow your own lawn. Geeeez.

    • Maggy Duran
      Maggy Duran Year ago

      right? Be self-sufficient for a change. Break-ups don't make you broken.

    • TheCarrifaery Bear
      TheCarrifaery Bear Year ago +1

      and clean your lobster!

    • MollyTTree
      MollyTTree 4 years ago +2

      @Imogen Neumann LOL! Just what I was thinking.

  • Mi'el Blanquea Esquivo
    Mi'el Blanquea Esquivo 4 years ago +8

    TED Talks are supposed to be from experts on real issues and solutions. Not cell phone videos of a women's retreat who have no real insight into anything but their myopic experience,

  • Joe Hallam
    Joe Hallam 4 years ago +11

    Poor princess had her holiday in frogland ''ruined'' by her latest squeeze not having the balls to drop her face to face...what a man, must have been a great guy...

  • Elizabeth M.
    Elizabeth M. 4 years ago +2

    I'm sure she was nervous and I don't know if I could have done any better, however, I surely would not have said, "and um" or "um" as many times as she did! It was extremely annoying! Also, if the only lighting is from a campfire, perhaps you should rely on your memory instead of struggling to read your notes.

    • Carolyn B.
      Carolyn B. 4 years ago +1

      @Elizabeth Maglasang The campfire was likely on a nice island getaway. Perhaps St. Thomas, or St. Croix. Maybe closer to the states to save money, and only in Bermuda.

  • DOODER1091
    DOODER1091 4 years ago +4

    can i do a ted talks while I'm on the crapper about the best way to take a huge painful dump?

    • DOODER1091
      DOODER1091 3 years ago

      @Arikm7 exactly

    • Arikm7
      Arikm7 3 years ago +2

      +DOODER1091 Yes.. tell people how sometimes taking a shit hurts and yet can be such cathartic experience.. as if a huge weight was lifted, or dumped.. plug in the spiritual similes where applicable.. :) And it would STILL more insightful than this insipid video!

    • Tina Huston
      Tina Huston 3 years ago

      @DOODER1091 No.

  • Deborah Newport
    Deborah Newport 4 years ago +8

    Thank you for sharing. I will soon be making a video about making good choices in a partner. I have been where you are. It is like a death. I felt I was dying of a broken heart. I appreciated your sharing. We will never understand the "Why" of it, except that not everyone who comes to us is meant to stay a lifetime. Some are on shorter assignments. When their job is done, they leave. It helps if we believe in a Higher Power. Our lives are divinely designed and ruled by the unseen.

  • Chanel Sumpter
    Chanel Sumpter 4 years ago +27

    I'm a little confused about this talk here. I mean we all have a story, so can I just submit mine to TED and do a speech on how bad bad can be? LOL.

  • Topspeed325
    Topspeed325 4 years ago

    Out of my mind sad. I tried to lover her despite my terrible health.
    My life is really sad because I have chronic pain.

  • CeriGotGame
    CeriGotGame 4 years ago +96

    I hope if I ever go through a bad breakup, I have friends rich enough to put me on a plane to Europe...

  • Jordan Billingsley
    Jordan Billingsley 4 years ago +1

    Thank you

  • summawub
    summawub 4 years ago +46

    Nothing against this nice person or her story, but do they just call - anything - TED these days? I know it's TEDx but .. there must be some standards when it comes to venue, audio/video quality, and having professional speakers who are prepared.

    • Fe Rivera
      Fe Rivera Year ago

      I agree. I could of given a better ted talk.

    • James Apperson
      James Apperson 2 years ago

      : P

    • S. Williams
      S. Williams 2 years ago +2

      HAHAHA Or being naked, buddy!

    • James Apperson
      James Apperson 2 years ago +1

      And I'd watch! ...
      your naked while sipping a latte ... cat-mourning Ted Talk.

      Oh wait. Sorry. I just realized you never mentioned sipping a latte.

    • S. Williams
      S. Williams 2 years ago +1

      LOL I'm about to make a TED Talk about how I mourned the loss of my cat from my bed with my phone cam.

  • RyuukoGo
    RyuukoGo 4 years ago +7

    Break ups are "easy" trusting someone else is the hard part.

  • scribe712
    scribe712 4 years ago +2

    I'm not going through a breakup but I found Cari's lessons to be inspirational and something I can apply to my own life.

  • Trios243
    Trios243 4 years ago +40

    My girlfriend and I broke up about 5 months ago after 7 years. Its been a real struggle and I've tried a lot of different methods or ideas to get over it, but its tough. Staying busy helps sometimes. But the fact of the matter is that its hard and the hole you have in your heart takes a long time to fill.

    • Ebony Nicollete Light
      Ebony Nicollete Light 2 months ago +1

      I know how you felt. I'm currently going through it. How are things 4 years later ,

    • Arohi
      Arohi Year ago +4

      Trios243 Hi! It's been 2 years since you wrote this comment. I'm mostly going through the same situation and I wanted to know how is your life after 2 years? Did you get better? :)

  • James Chambers
    James Chambers 4 years ago +10

    The question in never: "Honey, do you love me". The question is always: "Honey, how good of a job I am I doing loving you". Here we have a young woman, who being in her total self absorption, did not have the insight to asks either the right or wrong question. Hence, she was blind sided by the "surprise" demise of the relationship. Those of the victim mentality will love this video, but sadly, our young lass has probably learned nothing.

    • Alice Smith
      Alice Smith 2 years ago +4

      James Chambers the boy she was an outgoing female with a network of support.She was involved with was a jealous narcissist trying his best to destroy her trip with her family.

    • sydandtaytum
      sydandtaytum 3 years ago +7

      @James Chambers uh, she was blindsided because SHE WAS BLINDSIDED- she went on vacation with her family and came back to a home where he'd removed all his things and left. instead of breaking up with her properly in person so they could have an honest talk about it, he disappeared. so yes, she is the victim of a shitty boyfriend. it is not 'victim mentality' that she is hurt by someone who supposedly cared about her. clearly he is an asshole who is self-absorbed, because no real man would break up in this crass and terrible manner.

    • Tina Huston
      Tina Huston 3 years ago +5

      @James Chambers I think you're right, however, the guy who broke up with her doesn't sound a whole lot better with the way he went about the breakup. He took the route that was most convenient for him and not for her.

  • Ms40Watts
    Ms40Watts 4 years ago +13

    I think the key of her whole talk was "friends" good friends are really hard to come by and great support, encouragement and unconditional love at any time and especially when you're broken can become the catalyst of how one moves through grief. You can only do things for so long, by yourself. People need to remember that a break-up is similar to the patterns and stages of grief one experiences when someone they love dies, saying statement's like 'get over it,' there's more fish in the sea,' when one door door shuts another one opens' while perhaps well intention-ed, lack compassion, lack the heart needed when your own heart feels broken.

    • Spencer Chase
      Spencer Chase Year ago

      This is a beautifully written comment.❤️✌🏻☀️

  • Olivia. Life
    Olivia. Life 4 years ago +3

    Cari, Thank you for sharing your journey. Very grateful for your tools. Fabulous!

  • George Moujaes
    George Moujaes 4 years ago +3

    beautiful story. thanks :)

  • terrence89shield
    terrence89shield 4 years ago +7

    @Vendella McMillan :)_I did what you just said! I bit a bullet to purchased_
    _the program you are mentioning was totally bombed! I followed all the guides_
    _there and she started to miss me and started calling and messaging_
    _me that she misses me so much and that she still loves me.We met_
    _yesterday and neither of us have been so happy as we did then..=)_
    _Thanks to it dude!!_

    • terrence89shield
      terrence89shield 4 years ago +5

      I forgot to write on the program's site name.
      here it is *=> **secretogetexback.blogspot.com*
      I hope this will help you guys..^_^

  • Devin Lytle
    Devin Lytle 5 years ago +1

    great talk!

  • laluna7580
    laluna7580 5 years ago +1

    Superficial! Dogs, lawns...?

  • Gabriela Brasil
    Gabriela Brasil 5 years ago +13

    This doesn't look like a Ted talk at all!!! It just sounds like a girl sharing her break up story to anyone who will listen.

    • scribe712
      scribe712 4 years ago +3

      Obviously, you didn't bother to read the description posted below the video.

    • AbstractsByAdrienne
      AbstractsByAdrienne 4 years ago +2

      Maybe not, but she actually said things that helped me even though I'm not going through a breakup.

  • Em Winnie
    Em Winnie 5 years ago +3

    I can't ever be in a relationship because I fear getting broken up with so badly :'( I cried when u told me he broke up with u :(

  • Sheena Smith
    Sheena Smith 5 years ago +2

    Thank you so much! I'm going through this situation NOW. I've always been the type to dwell on why it didn't work I even question myself, but there's a reason for every situation....

  • UhBabyItsAWildWorld
    UhBabyItsAWildWorld 5 years ago +15

    @marhie siccuan _First things first you need to know what mistakes you have done to her to gave you an idea on how to win her back and apologize to her deeply. Then, thats the time you act on the things that should be acted upon to bring her back._

    • UhBabyItsAWildWorld
      UhBabyItsAWildWorld 5 years ago +10

      hey marhie, you should purchased this program offered by:
      *getyourexbackn0w.blogspot.com*
      It has its all the things you need to learn to win her back. I myself tried it and it worked for me ^__^

  • Aubrey Dana
    Aubrey Dana 5 years ago +5

    Wow, I can see why he broke up with her. A psychic??

    • scribe712
      scribe712 4 years ago +1

      While I disagree with her decision to visit a psychic based on what she said, it sounds as if that was her first and only time. Either way, why assume it had anything to do with the breakup? Maybe her ex was cheating and decided her trip was the perfect time to breakup with her and move in with his new girlfriend.

  • Susie Anderson
    Susie Anderson 5 years ago +4

    thank you cari you seem like a strong person & i think i know where you are coming from :)

  • dandylion
    dandylion 5 years ago +1

    well, she's already counting on enduring many more tragedies, so clearly she hasn't learned enough much at all.

  • 110 Pending
    110 Pending 5 years ago +2

    she starts at around 9 minutes talking about doing things and desperately trying to hang around other people and do things to distract herself from the devastation of her boyfriend leaving her. This was scary because I found myself doing these things when I was depressed.

  • Ben LaDieu
    Ben LaDieu 5 years ago

    Focus!

  • zeta reticuli
    zeta reticuli 5 years ago +1

    gee when your pissed off just buy a dress, and fuck him;-(

  • Wilson Kelly
    Wilson Kelly 5 years ago

    Thank you so much for that.

  • Arielle's Astrology
    Arielle's Astrology 5 years ago +8

    Great video for anyone with Scorpio or a strong Pluto in his/her chart. Transformation is the key to growth.

  • Erin Smith
    Erin Smith 5 years ago

    The guy might of been a complete twat and not of even given her the option of an explanation as Cari has said she was on holiday with her sister and mother, not exactly the best time to have an expensive long distant phone call. Cari said she came back from holiday and to the house they had together and all of his belongings were gone so by the sounds of it he didn't give her anything and ran away like a coward!