What a 15-year-old meth addict taught me about leadership | Brian Fretwell | TEDxBoise

  • Опубликовано: 26 июн 2018
  • How do you lead someone who knows what they need to do to change their life but-despite all your help-isn’t going to do it?

    Brian Fretwell was confronted with this scenario repeatedly during his time as a teacher in the chemical addictions unit of a juvenile corrections facility. The honesty of a 15-year-old meth addict, and the wisdom of a mentor, reframed Brian’s definition and practice of leadership. Brian Fretwell helps people realize their value. He began his professional career as a teacher in juvenile corrections, empowering disenfranchised kids to do things they didn’t believe they could. From the Australian Outback to the Arctic Circle, today Brian teaches individuals, teams, and companies how to draw out their hidden potential. He got an MBA, ran a 100-mile ultra-marathon, overcame his fear of flying, and wrote a book because he didn’t think he could do any of them-and being a hypocrite isn’t his style.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Комментарии • 2 688

  • Zach Phillips
    Zach Phillips 2 дня назад

    Is this Good Will Hunting

  • digitalphreedom
    digitalphreedom 3 дня назад

    Amazing.. you discovered that drug addicts are people too! With hopes and dreams! Just like the rest of us!
    Wow, suddenly my eyes are open! From here on, I will use BOTH my hands to pat you on the back

  • Grady Pratt
    Grady Pratt 5 дней назад

    Annoying fake crying.

  • Brandyn Buth
    Brandyn Buth 10 дней назад

    This guy doesn't strike me a good counselor

  • Mohamed El-Ansary
    Mohamed El-Ansary 10 дней назад

    This guy should be an actor

  • joco7977
    joco7977 10 дней назад

    Somebody, give this dude an Oscar

  • MemeLordLols 45
    MemeLordLols 45 12 дней назад

    That asmr doh

  • Jackson G
    Jackson G 12 дней назад

    I'm more bored and bored by these ted talks. My main question is, why is Nathan not on the stage?

    Kym SHIRLEY 12 дней назад

    When you're open to learn from someone you thought you could never learn from that's when you being to grow as a person. Thankyou for sharing this. I hope Nathan finally found what he was looking for and achieved what he wanted.

  • Donkey
    Donkey 12 дней назад

    "what a 13 year old Thai Ladyboy taught me about proper head"

    • Donkey
      Donkey 11 дней назад

      +Viktor Sivi I think anyone who takes tedx talks seriously is a self-important jackass

  • Masked B1tch
    Masked B1tch 13 дней назад

    I have a troubled brother in law, maybe not quite as bad as Nathan, but definitely with some demons. I'm the only one with enough human intelligence to see that he's hiding a lot of pain under a tough boy exterior but I never knew how to approach it and try and help him through these harsh times. Everyone always told me not to worry about him, that he's happy with how he is right now, that it was none of my business, and they got me to just let it go even though it hurt me turning my back on him. This just gave me the inspiration I needed to try helping him.
    My husband said he thinks the kid is going to grow up to be a drug dealer. I'm going to change that. Wish me luck.

  • TanmayGarg
    TanmayGarg 13 дней назад

    Guys....I am 16 and um ...it's not like my family is a problem...if. You understand what I'm trying to say.......it's like...I live my life thinking that everyday might be the last day with my parents...for no reason I think that.....and I always fail to show my love for them......all I want to say is don't be like me....I never made my parents proud period.Just go and love them

    • TanmayGarg
      TanmayGarg 12 дней назад

      +Zentark101 thank you so much😭😭😭

    • Zentark101
      Zentark101 12 дней назад +1

      i wish on to you to live the best and most prosperous life you can live. as long as you're doing your best to live a healthy life for yourself, nothing should really make you think otherwise

  • KustomiseT
    KustomiseT 13 дней назад +1

    This is a video worthy of putting to a playlist to be watched later in life or to link someone this video. I recommend making such a playlist on RU-clip, for the videos that are worth seeing again.

  • KustomiseT
    KustomiseT 13 дней назад +1

    This video is so motivating.. I have been afraid of the light I suppose, but this teacher helped me.

  • KustomiseT
    KustomiseT 13 дней назад +1

    This video is amazing since you can ask yourself these questions and move forward.
    A person can be amazing at helping themselves, many people are good at managing like themselves or like reflecting on themselves/pondering about stuff... Some have the ability to be their own therapist sort of since a person can help themselves that much, but it requires a lot from a person. But there is the problem that the person can push it, push the time and leave these things for a later time. I would say that this video helps a person right now.

    This video is really motivating, a good guidance and helps or at least helped me to reflect on things right now and make moves which will put the gears spinning.
    What I mean by putting gears spinning that there are things which you can only move with effort, only by effort. But then there are
    things which require time more and effort only over time. So I recommend to do those things which put the gears spinning even if you won't do anything else, since
    when you get the motivation you can't do them any faster..
    The things that only progress with effort like let's say courses, school etc. those are things which are better left for a proper time for them.
    But I always recommend and tell people to put the gears in motion with the things you can, since I have learned to do that myself
    when trying to manage time when I have been too sick to live life.
    So I have been doing nothing for 2 years at least and finally I have started to move on.
    What helped was putting gears into motion back in time and now those
    things have started to get somewhere =D

  • Jonathan Gomez
    Jonathan Gomez 13 дней назад +1

    When he mentions his work buddy Sal, all I think of is Sal Vulcano 😂😂😂

  • Marian Dani
    Marian Dani 13 дней назад

    omg. this was really powerful. i can tell how much he was moved by just telling the story...

  • Donkey
    Donkey 13 дней назад

    Same Hyde's Ted talk was better

  • vineeth karnawat
    vineeth karnawat 13 дней назад

    M. M... M. M. M.. M... M.. I'm... M. I'm................ M....

  • Yasmin Gill
    Yasmin Gill 14 дней назад

    can anyone do a ted talk nowdays??

  • Jimlard Johnson
    Jimlard Johnson 14 дней назад

    I can always rely on Ted talks for titles of the year

  • zeds dead
    zeds dead 14 дней назад

    Grammy Award goes 2... >.>

  • Liam Greig
    Liam Greig 14 дней назад

    I hope she led you not to do meth (I didn't even watch the video)

  • Joel W
    Joel W 14 дней назад


  • Ture Vedin
    Ture Vedin 14 дней назад


  • Kacchan is beautiful
    Kacchan is beautiful 14 дней назад +1

    I kept reading ''math addict'' and I was so confused lmao

  • GbZaid
    GbZaid 14 дней назад

    These click bait titles are getting out of hand.

  • Tiago Martins
    Tiago Martins 15 дней назад +1

    Nathan is the most honest person that I ever "meth"

  • Nestor Mandela
    Nestor Mandela 15 дней назад

    I really hate this emotional bs. I hope the story is totally made up, because if not he's using a child's tragedy to sell his product. Disgraceful.

  • Strahl Nahrung
    Strahl Nahrung 15 дней назад

    unauthentic to me, felt like a Batman audition. also don't excert leadership on friends in the bar

  • Curt Heisler
    Curt Heisler 15 дней назад

    This elicited an emotional response, which in turn has provided inspiration. Good talk.

  • Peter Parker
    Peter Parker 15 дней назад

    Nathan could be living with his family right now watching this, he could've went back to his old ways, he could even be dead. But that doesn't make his actions any less powerful. When I tell people what I want I joke "a million dollars" "100000 followers" but in reality I want to be loved, i want a family that loves me. I want to be happy.

  • Inorganica Basica
    Inorganica Basica 15 дней назад

    As someone who lost a close friend to drug abuse, this was deeply touching

  • FBI
    FBI 15 дней назад

    Whats with that breathing though?

  • laura steadman
    laura steadman 15 дней назад

    his little wheezes are a adorable 😭

  • Zedament
    Zedament 16 дней назад

    Oh god here come the water works! Amazing story!

  • Ty Miller
    Ty Miller 16 дней назад

    Man, the parts where you "Got sad, and 'anguished' toned". I understand you may have been doing it for like narrative, or wtv, story telling purposes. Just saying came of a lil' ehh.. Other than that man awesomeness!
    (Haha, I love how I typed that like dude would ever see it :P Whateva! )

  • Hans Samuel
    Hans Samuel 16 дней назад

    It's not me

    *It's we*


  • Ary Bolaños
    Ary Bolaños 16 дней назад

    Hey we all breath. We just do not have a microphone right next to our mouth.

  • Justin Chaney
    Justin Chaney 16 дней назад

    TedX is the poor man’s Tony Robbins

  • Cold Potato17
    Cold Potato17 16 дней назад

    This is my favorite video on RU-clip

  • Fynn Novak Tiessen
    Fynn Novak Tiessen 16 дней назад

    What happened to Nathen

  • E. P.
    E. P. 16 дней назад


  • Paul Rone-Clarke
    Paul Rone-Clarke 16 дней назад

    Where are these comments attacking his breathing? I see lots of people defending but who or what are they defending him from? I've scrolled down looking for comments for 10 minutes and found squat.

  • Ellie Frush
    Ellie Frush 16 дней назад


  • Çağatay Özkan
    Çağatay Özkan 17 дней назад

    this is the most passionate presentation in the ted history

  • jollyjollyO
    jollyjollyO 17 дней назад

    wow this is incredible. very profound ideas here.

  • Vanessa Holbrow
    Vanessa Holbrow 17 дней назад

    I hate you

  • john cuting
    john cuting 18 дней назад

    Says Something About him breathing and existing

    *Read more*

  • john cuting
    john cuting 18 дней назад

    Great speaker, Nice job

  • Edward Cox
    Edward Cox 19 дней назад

    GREAT Vedio...one of the most enjoyable Ted Talks I have seen...

  • fawbak.
    fawbak. 19 дней назад

    A little dramatic

  • Lunaztra Z
    Lunaztra Z 19 дней назад

    You ask why he breathing like that? Trenbolone Cycle bro

  • Tom Nicholls
    Tom Nicholls 19 дней назад

    Good Will Hunting anyone?

  • Simone Dandin
    Simone Dandin 19 дней назад

    lmao in america they let you interact with children without basic interviwing skills or instructions on how to build an empathetic relationship with the client... ay just tell the kid what to do or ask leading questions they sure going to listen

  • Astral Fire
    Astral Fire 19 дней назад +4

    Brilliant speaking skills and delivery of the story

  • jo nicole
    jo nicole 19 дней назад

    this really hit home

  • Tim-J.Swan
    Tim-J.Swan 19 дней назад

    *sip* ahh
    not my proudest frap

  • Comrade Corbachev
    Comrade Corbachev 19 дней назад +3

    I don't understand the criticism of the crying. He was crying on command in a way that illustrated the emotions of the child. Especially towards the end, this was some of the most gripping public speaking I've ever experienced.

  • Robert H
    Robert H 20 дней назад

    I really want to know where Nathan is.

  • princesskind712
    princesskind712 20 дней назад +2

    This has to be among THE BEST lessons I have heard in a long time. Thank You.

  • TheRadFactor
    TheRadFactor 20 дней назад

    Wasted 11 minutes of my life. Stopped when the acting became very poor.

  • PotatoWizard
    PotatoWizard 20 дней назад +138

    literally every comment is people defending him over his breathing i havent seen one attacking his breathing

    • Dustpanda -
      Dustpanda - 8 дней назад

      Oh I'm about halfway through and was checking the comments to see if Nathan turned out killing himself, I thought he was getting upset recounting this.

    • Agassi Hua
      Agassi Hua 14 дней назад

      Haha legit!

    • Hadzoni
      Hadzoni 15 дней назад +1

      same yoo

  • Mitchell Rutkowski
    Mitchell Rutkowski 21 день назад +1

    Cliiiiiick baiiiiiiit

  • Vann Gogh
    Vann Gogh 21 день назад

    damn I need to do meth to feel manly again

  • Binary Ryuga
    Binary Ryuga 22 дня назад +1

    I thought the title was “what a 15 year old math addict told me about leadership”

  • Dab on Someone
    Dab on Someone 22 дня назад +1

    When is Ted gonna talk

  • Zain Chupacabra
    Zain Chupacabra 23 дня назад +3

    This story had a 90% chance of revealing that he is Nathan.

  • Dennis Teti
    Dennis Teti 24 дня назад

    I’d imagine it was nothing.

  • Roman A.
    Roman A. 24 дня назад

    I actually used to always ask my little brother many questions about his hopes and dreams, but he got annoyed of me asking so I stopped.
    But now I know that I should keep asking.

  • San the Man
    San the Man 24 дня назад

    You wouldn't ever notice a particularly honest person lie at all. In fact a person who lies time to time is a liar, only above the very rare compulsive liar who lies for no reason at all.

  • Julia Niel
    Julia Niel 24 дня назад

    Great speak it really opened up my mind but like how did that kid afford meth...

  • Maddie L
    Maddie L 24 дня назад

    one of THE BEST ted talks i’ve listened to

  • AJtheory
    AJtheory 24 дня назад

    *Did You Mean:* math addict

  • Rtkts
    Rtkts 25 дней назад

    "It's not your fault"

  • Terry Jeanne
    Terry Jeanne 25 дней назад

    I questioned so many people in my life-time very few had answers I began to notice. Determined to find better answers I have met a few leaders ,many more nathans . Thank you.

  • picket sign
    picket sign 25 дней назад

    How a (insert random person) taught me (things that people want to learn). Eg. How a Baker taught me to play fortnite.

  • Kevin Smith
    Kevin Smith 26 дней назад

    I am a recovering meth addict. luckily, i have been sober for over 3 years. I was ruining my life, and if someone would have asked me in recovery... "what is your plan when you get out of here?" my answer would have definitely been "Do Meth, duh". But one day I decided to just quit doing it. I'm not sure what made me decide this, but I am so happy I did. Good TedTalk.

  • killboi207
    killboi207 26 дней назад

    Smart man.

  • biker
    biker 26 дней назад

    People will not stop using , until they have no other option . All the counselling in the world will do nothing. They will get clean or die , that's it .

  • Areach
    Areach 26 дней назад

    The issue with the beating is that it gets far more exaggerated when he gets closer to something he is trying to emphasize. This can create a deeper sense of feeling in the material he is presenting but if he does not maintain the level of intensity it seems less like a genuine feeling more like a way to emphasize his message. When an emotion seems false people pick up on that subconsciously. The message was strong and a good one at that he didn't need to over sell it.

  • pat winn
    pat winn 26 дней назад +1

    Authentic and genuine Brian. You moved me with your honesty and passion, Don't change a thing!

  • Gabriel Oren
    Gabriel Oren 27 дней назад

    Put your god damn hands in your pockets

  • jerry lamerveille
    jerry lamerveille 27 дней назад

    Geeeezzzzz theeeeee brrrreeeeeaaaatttthhhhiiiiinnnnnggggggggggg

  • Land Sea Firmament Aether
    Land Sea Firmament Aether 28 дней назад


  • Chico DePuertoRico
    Chico DePuertoRico 28 дней назад

    When I was a kid, there was a girl in our neighborhood, no older than 13, maybe? She was a drug addicted... I'm not sure if it was meth... but she was an addict. She lived with a man, probably in his 60s... probably abusing her... This broke my heart... Broke my mother's heart, too... because My mother hurt for her. In retrospect, I'm a little ashamed of my mother for never calling the authorities on this man... :/ Awful... just an awful awful memory... :(

  • wegoairsoft
    wegoairsoft 29 дней назад

    "They don't want our answers, they want our participation" -That is profound.

  • Taylor Hightower
    Taylor Hightower 29 дней назад

    metyh taught me the centerfold of the universe and how it operates the wedge it all started with the wedge and the wedge was the beginnijng of it all it started therte i loved how it helped us crush mammoths and we could roll big bouklders ontop[ ofg them

  • Adventure
    Adventure 29 дней назад

    So many people complaining about the people who complain about the breathing. Can every one just shut up and appreciate the lesson. Thank you

  • Jonathan Johnson
    Jonathan Johnson 29 дней назад

    Leaders can’t ask that simple question “what do you want” with enough sincerity because they haven’t figured out what they want

  • clover
    clover 29 дней назад +2

    there are more comments about people complaining about comments on his breathing than there are actual comments on his breathing taking away from this speech.

  • Gabriel Arrieta
    Gabriel Arrieta Месяц назад


  • Matt Robertson
    Matt Robertson Месяц назад

    This was a very good video to be honest I am not Crazy about Ted talks but regardless I thoroughly enjoyed this video

  • Nastia M.
    Nastia M. Месяц назад

    Aaaand the prize for the most fake tears goes tooooo......

  • M.r. Moon
    M.r. Moon Месяц назад

    What else do you need to be taught...my guess is how to keep your nose out of other people business.
    Real(born) leaders shun leadership unless absolutely necessary, whereas aspiring leaders(power trippers) simply want to tell others what to do.
    Inside every aspiring leader...you'll find a psychotic.

  • Neil Hillman
    Neil Hillman Месяц назад

    While the story is nice, I'm not sure what the lesson here is? Back an addict into a corner and shout at them until they reconsider their goals? It doesn't sound like advice based on accepted clinical psychology.

  • Sae Tae
    Sae Tae Месяц назад +1

    Commenters exposed: those worried about his breathing are sensitive to imperfection in other's performance because they truly fear that they have to be perfect performers. Probably fear public speaking themselves and its triggering something.

  • drags3840
    drags3840 Месяц назад

    Amazing channel serious brain food here. Really enjoy these talks just wish I had more people in my life to actually talk like this with. Feels like I’m surrounded by robots daily.

  • Dainian Mc
    Dainian Mc Месяц назад

    What happened to Nathan?

  • Andkon of Grero
    Andkon of Grero Месяц назад

    3:23 discoffer