Have you met your soul mate? | Ashley Clift-Jennings | TEDxUniversityofNevada

  • Published on Feb 14, 2017
  • What does it mean to be married to someone who is transgender? Ashley Clift-Jennings had to answer that question six years into marriage to her husband. After overcoming her fear of what other people would think, she now appreciates that her spouse is her soul mate, and she would know how to find her in a dark room.
    Ashley is the rare combination of big ideas and big action. With an innate ability to see the larger picture and connect seemingly unrelated dots, Ashley has advised dozens of small businesses from startup into growth. She believes strongly in community and is a powerhouse in her hometown of Reno, organizing meetups and events like Reno Maker Faire and Startup Weekend Reno. She is the founder and former CEO of Girlmade, an accelerator program for women to encourage a new, positive narrative that girls can run their own startups. Now with Parlor, Ashley is combining all her natural talents as a super-connector, problem-solver and music lover to push back on the “starving artist” myth. Ashley graduated from Columbia University and is a member of Nevada Lieutenant Governor Mark Hutchison’s Northern Nevada Entrepreneurship Task Force (EFT).
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Comments • 1 974

  • N V
    N V 15 hours ago

    No such thing, and a sad idea, There is no specific person out there for you, Just who you decide to be with. Thinking that god provides or the fates decree, or that one special person is the only one... No I don't believe in that, soulmate expectancy, it's a horrible idea. Touted by people that dont know but pretend to know.

  • Sakuri Sake
    Sakuri Sake 20 hours ago

    All that time wasted and your spouse comes out as trans gendered.

  • wolfregg .d
    wolfregg .d Day ago

    I would stand by my partner either way . Marco I love you , you can be a women if you want , you probably can’t eat it any less then you do now !!

  • Queen
    Queen 2 days ago


  • Linda Jackson
    Linda Jackson 3 days ago +1

    Hi edagdwg thanks for sharing hi your real soul mate is in you God is the greatest soul mate you will ever have a gift only God can give 💯 💯💯💯❤️💯🙏 linda j ☮️

  • Cindi Girouard
    Cindi Girouard 4 days ago +1

    Wow, totally not what I expected, but what a beautiful story. Unconditional love!

  • Kara
    Kara 5 days ago

    Ashley now presents as Ethan, glad they both discovered themselves together

  • Christian Joseph
    Christian Joseph 5 days ago

    Yeah I met her and she ended up cheating on me and destroying our family and marriage. I've come to the conclusion there is no such thing. I've never felt like I did about her with any one before her or after her...so no more soul mates for me. I think you are lucky if you get one in your life. People are just unreliable.

  • Tiffany Bp
    Tiffany Bp 5 days ago

    They both seem confused. But at least they’re on that journey together.

  • Fetch Quest
    Fetch Quest 7 days ago

    Yep. She’s the yin to my yang but she’s in Idaho and im in Florida. Wha whaaa

  • Space Firebird 2772
    Space Firebird 2772 8 days ago

    It's all in the similarities...

  • Nur Salina
    Nur Salina 9 days ago

    I have a soulmate who always help me

  • Cindy C.
    Cindy C. 9 days ago

    Do most people meet their soulmate? Really curious as to how often it happens. Seems rather rare to me.😔

  • Seeking the truth
    Seeking the truth 9 days ago

    Gosh… why ist this LGBTQ kinda EVERYWHERE now ? ……. -.-

  • MsKawi300
    MsKawi300 11 days ago

    Ummmm... its a no for me.
    Deception: 💯

  • Cess ily
    Cess ily 11 days ago


  • Kylie Jonkman
    Kylie Jonkman 11 days ago

    Beautiful thank you for sharing your story and your strength xxxx

  • kiwis91
    kiwis91 12 days ago

    It's gonna be a no from me

  • Izuhia
    Izuhia 12 days ago

    I wanted a good looking man who can like me for who I am =))

  • geo metric
    geo metric 14 days ago

    Trans-WHAT??????! Transpho....what???! This world is totally UPSIDE DOWN! Coining words on a daily basis literally!!!!!

  • dalila boutouatou
    dalila boutouatou 14 days ago

    We have many things in common

  • dalila boutouatou
    dalila boutouatou 14 days ago

    My Soul Mate reads my mind to the point of knowing what I want, how I think , and what I plan to do. He is really so close to me though Being far.

  • Jojo Wear
    Jojo Wear 15 days ago

    These Ted talks are AMAZING 😁☺️😊🙂🤣😆😂🤩🥳

  • FeelGood Within
    FeelGood Within 15 days ago

    Intresting 😝 😍

  • Aimee Thomson
    Aimee Thomson 15 days ago

    Didn't know if i met up with him?????
    Was that the catalyst paperwork?

  • sandra candelas
    sandra candelas 17 days ago

    Wow , she says white as a privilege . How arrogant and cocky . I have no respect for people like this or who think this way.

  • Athenathe SheWolf
    Athenathe SheWolf 17 days ago +1

    For all of you saying there was secrets and lying, some people don't understand they're trans and only realize such after some time. They probably got married, she realized she was trans, and came out.

  • Zara Topchieva
    Zara Topchieva 19 days ago

    Tedx not for Christians!!! They invite only "special"people. Who is more like against God's creatures. May God block your sites!!!!

  • A.A. Kif
    A.A. Kif 20 days ago

    And I thought I was screwed when I discovered that my Soul mate is already married to someone else. Wow! This beats that!

  • ETERNAL BLISS جنت الفردوس 💦

    Dont know about soulmate but HORROR MATE ? Yes i did !!!

  • Zach G
    Zach G 21 day ago +2

    First bit of the video was alright, but after the trans talk started it was a nose dive into the culture of forcing ideology onto others

  • J F
    J F 22 days ago

    I hope that when she mentions a condition that is treatable, she means that the dysphoria us treatable through transitioning. But, judging by how she's talking, she has such love and respect for her partner. So I'd say it's a safe bet that she was referencing dysphoria.

  • Dot Com
    Dot Com 22 days ago

    She transitioned to male, so what do I believe now

  • ilovehouse888
    ilovehouse888 23 days ago

    Transitioning....? That’s a ride on the nope train 🚂 for me. Why didn’t her spouse disclose this up front? Not cool. I appreciate her sharing her story though.

  • Chris Corbett
    Chris Corbett 26 days ago

    weird how a woman's soulmate is never a homeless man? I guess it isn't random afterall...

  • WarMask
    WarMask 27 days ago

    I hate mankind... This talk is depressing. I just want to end this suffering, end mankind... Seriously, spare us your BS.
    I'm going to watch Chinese assholes torture dogs and cats before eating them for some positive energy... Damn... Degenerates... That's what you are... Trans BS... Ridiculous!

  • Sadi Islam
    Sadi Islam 27 days ago

    Worse ted talk ever

  • ditto303
    ditto303 27 days ago

    Lost me at "my partner has got to be my soulmate"

  • t s ó l a r i a
    t s ó l a r i a 28 days ago

    Damn, I'm rooting for them.

  • --
    -- 28 days ago

    There is no such thing as a soul mate. Everyone gets lonely and open to having a life partner at various point in their life. Randomly you're in the market, paying attention, and you meet someone and they say or show you something that piques your interest, they're also in the market, paying attention... and then you make a decision to protect that person at all costs. Hopefully, you select them because they add to your life. Life partners not only protect your networks, resources, whatever... but also your physical wellbeing. They want to protect your emotions, your identity, your health, privacy etc. You offer and protect them as well.
    There's many people that you could have selected who might have been ideal partners. But waaahhhh, who cares?
    Every relationship is unique, both parties require different things. Some people want to climb their careers and look cool in front of other people with their beautiful or funny partner, that's fine. Other people select mates like they do house cats. It makes them happy, they figure it out.

  • Katherine Peacock
    Katherine Peacock 29 days ago

    Knew she was an ENFP from the minute she opened her mouth, ahahahha

  • feli rotten
    feli rotten Month ago


  • Prohibitum
    Prohibitum Month ago

    Title mislead me. But props to her on staying for the journey of her husband.. That's more balls than half of us have

  • jojolozano
    jojolozano Month ago

    Her next Ted talk will be on regret.....

  • George Parolalista
    George Parolalista Month ago

    How is this not translated into Spanish? Come on guys. ENFP / ENFJ-A by the way... 😂

  • Duncan McLeod
    Duncan McLeod Month ago

    I'm an INFJ male. We always outsiders.

  • Eissari4
    Eissari4 Month ago

    Love her voice. She reminds me of Amy Winehouse voice and looks wise.
    Best of luck to her/him. Doesn't matter as long as they are happy.

  • Gene DeCicco
    Gene DeCicco Month ago


  • Alex Freetime
    Alex Freetime Month ago +3

    Jesus Christ I can't finish this video, people that keep swallowing as they talk make me go crazy.

  • Tabish Rahman
    Tabish Rahman Month ago +2

    she found on Google everyone,my type is INFP-A but I didn't found anyone 😂

  • louise burns
    louise burns Month ago

    Hmmmm ok then 😏

  • Saikat Grothendick 55555

    Nice talk .. ❤️

  • Jessica
    Jessica Month ago

    If anything, this video taught me that "soulmates" simply do not exist. But biological gender does-- so does choice; so does love. And the ultimate purpose of love, imo, is to continue the human race.

  • Empath Again
    Empath Again Month ago

    So are there not any prerequisites or standards to give a TEDx talk? This was painful the whole way through. It was like she was reading from her basic diary about how she got woke and brave!

  • Dean Brown
    Dean Brown Month ago +206

    "I would know she's my soulmate if this room was dark right now. I would know how to find her in this room." That is QUITE powerful. Wow.

  • Uncomfortable Silence

    There is a narrative that exists wholly in its purity.

  • The Mandinka Family

    She didnt respect the marriage. Full of deception and lies once you're married. Um not a soulmate. Divorce is coming

  • 平川千寛
    平川千寛 Month ago +4

    I could not still find my soulmate, but I have a courageous, briliant and cute sister. She is the best person ever.

  • Connie Ford
    Connie Ford Month ago

    What does white have to do with it all... geesh.

  • PS Oso
    PS Oso Month ago

    Unique character=crazy

  • Madley Pimentel
    Madley Pimentel Month ago

    I'm still waiting for my real soulmate. I want him to be special.

  • S.
    S. Month ago

    dated my soulmate one year to the exact same day, same hour.

  • Tenacious One
    Tenacious One Month ago

    Had watched this a couple of years ago but stumbled upon it again today. Wow! Her story - Deep. An example of unconditional love. True love.

  • Zahid H Khan
    Zahid H Khan Month ago


  • Edgar Zacarian
    Edgar Zacarian Month ago

    Most pathetic speech ever.

  • Nicole C
    Nicole C Month ago

    this is the moment when you remember that phrase "you'll never really get to know somebody" or something like that 🤣

  • strony
    strony Month ago

    I swear I just dropped my croissant

  • Jynx Assana
    Jynx Assana Month ago +4

    Congrats to Ethan and Allison! Ethan, your story about figuring your way through your transphobia not only to support your wife, but figure yourself out is so inspiring. Keep embracing each other, because you two really are soulmates

  • Horny Barnicle
    Horny Barnicle Month ago

    Soul mates doesn't exist

  • cat cat
    cat cat Month ago

    What is a soulmate really?

  • Bonnie Rose
    Bonnie Rose Month ago

    I don't know what I'd do. I would be devastated that's for sure

  • Angelina Hart
    Angelina Hart Month ago +107

    i love the definition of soulmate being the person you can find in the dark. without all the worldly trappings to distract us, could we simply feel around the room with our hearts and find that person? there's such a sweetness and purity to it.

    • Space Firebird 2772
      Space Firebird 2772 8 days ago

      It's someone similar to you

    • --
      -- 28 days ago

      In the department store, we just have a special whistle in case we get separated... and our phones are in the vehicles... but yeah we could probably use if there was a power outage. I didn't think of that.
      Sometimes I like to study the gimmick organic products a little too long, I get distracted.

  • j blah
    j blah Month ago

    You didnt have a soulmate it was a sociopath. When you have a real soulmate you dont have to let them know what youre mind is at.

  • firmly grasp it
    firmly grasp it Month ago

    We're all soul mates

  • Winston Chang
    Winston Chang Month ago

    back then, lifespan was relatively short, ...now it is hard to be with someone for "Life" when life is longer...

  • Carol Vevle
    Carol Vevle Month ago

    I thought I married my soul mate, but it turns out I married a dangerous psychopath. They are now talking about a cure, but he would have to be willing to do a lot of work. He is very selfish, so I left him 14 months ago. All he said was: "No, matter what you say or do or where you go, I will take care of you!" Then, he went ghosting, for about the sixth time & this time, it's about a month!! Right now, my soul mate is a Cockateil. She is so cure. OMG!! HEE!!! HEE!!! HEE!!!!

  • Mariana Valle-Riestra
    Mariana Valle-Riestra Month ago +1

    Not really inspiring.

  • Tina Thomas
    Tina Thomas 2 months ago


  • Rosalynn Sue Narcowich
    Rosalynn Sue Narcowich 2 months ago

    I am an INFJ and find Narcissistic - however - I am so much older.

  • Ella Saluria
    Ella Saluria 2 months ago

    ...struggle is real..

    BIG BEN 2 months ago

    SAY NO TO LGBT. period

  • Madelyn Grainger
    Madelyn Grainger 2 months ago

    I'm crying this is so beautiful

  • Sarah Espina
    Sarah Espina 2 months ago +2

    a soulmate is deeper than superficial physicality of a person. It’s falling in love with the person’s soul more than anything else. It’s a deep connection in thoughts between two people; who feel both secured and locked-in to the bond they have for each other.

  • Rhiannon Sacks
    Rhiannon Sacks 2 months ago +2

    I love this story and i'm happy for them but I could never do the same as her. I have a very primal feminine connection. I love the masculine spirit. Everything in my soul calls out for the most masculine of males. Thoughts?

  • Danielle Danielle
    Danielle Danielle 2 months ago

    Sooo she was tricked basically? Or he transitioned after. This has nothing to do with the title.

  • INANNA Shu
    INANNA Shu 2 months ago

    BS,too many holes in the story and she didn't realize her spouse was transgendered and needed to medically until all ready married?

  • Natasha Bonner
    Natasha Bonner 2 months ago

    Video didn't answer the question in the title of the speech. Was expecting a list of signs etc.

  • Marc Abramsky
    Marc Abramsky 2 months ago

    I would never judge a person's choices in life. Never! However, let me tell you what is wrong with this in one word. "TRUST"! She is forgiving and that is good. However, it doesn't abscond she/he from disclosing that right off the bat. I would be thinking right away "ok what else did I miss and what else is coming down the road". This is like a woman or man that suddenly discloses that she has been having an affair or wants to see other people. What do you say, "Oh sure no problem? Take some time to find yourself" Or do you tell the person, "ok go find yourself but I am not waiting". Both answers are correct by the way. Think about it.

  • Trisha Lunde
    Trisha Lunde 2 months ago

    Yea, treatable... by telling "them too bad dude, you're a man, get over it." Good lord. What is happening

  • Hima Zacharia
    Hima Zacharia 2 months ago +83


    This speaker, Ashley transitioned to male, now named Ethan.
    I'm not joking. Ethanjclift on twitter if ya want proof.
    They really were made for each other

  • Quratulain Abbasi
    Quratulain Abbasi 2 months ago

    Amazing 👍🏼👍🏼

  • Xime Garcia
    Xime Garcia 2 months ago

    i really do think that everyone has a soulmate , and justin Bieber is mine , he is been in my life for a minute now and i feel that i understand him in a deeper way than a crazy fan , i know that he is married now , but eather way HE IS MY SOALMATE and i genuinely love him in every way possible

  • The Accomplished One
    The Accomplished One 2 months ago

    Somebody lied!

  • The Accomplished One
    The Accomplished One 2 months ago

    How are you soulmates and not share that?

  • Julien Blanc Dubois
    Julien Blanc Dubois 2 months ago

    Soulmate is a Myth.

  • Heidy Iglesias
    Heidy Iglesias 2 months ago +1

    I don’t feel that way with my partner. Not often. Is it real? The peaceful thing?

  • Liam Vic
    Liam Vic 2 months ago +1

    8:42 she was about to say cisgender, but decided not to in hopes of appealing to a wider audience. Very nice choice, and wonderful talk. -from a trans guy

    • samantha4130
      samantha4130 2 months ago

      Liam Vic She is actually now a Trans Guy. Massive plot twist number two.

  • Taylah Jayde
    Taylah Jayde 2 months ago +1

    To whoever may be reading this right now, You better be having a fabulous, fun, positive week receiving only love and kindness!
    My name is Taylah McSpadden and today I am popping up in your emails to talk to you about something serious that is in the process of getting planned, and that is….
    A non profit organisation that's goal is to protect and save millions of suffering humans that are exactly like you and I except not as lucky. Or should i say no where near as lucky?
    I am almost 20 years old and for the last two years I have been educating myself on all the unexplainable, unacceptable actions that are being taken all over the world and i'm sure you have heard of the saying “even in your backyard” WELL YES IT'S TRUE.
    Sadly there is an unbelievable amount of bullsh*t happening starting from severe poverty to mass destruction and corruption. All for an extra dollar in the bank! Reason I say dollar is because the people with the power, causing the damage are too selfish to notice what they actually have.
    Devastatingly and truthfully enough there is not enough help out there and terrifyingly society is not really aware of the realities millions have to wake up to everyday causing the unfair cycle to continue.
    Here's a question for you though… We have the power to save these people so why is it only getting worse and why are we not saving them ? You can't say we are because everyone could do alot more than what they are achieving ! Millions of innocent people are experiencing horrifying pain and constant fear/worry and they simply do not need to be going through what they are going through!
    Within my organisation we will have a diverse range of volunteers all offering their genuine, loving, fun kind souls and helping hands all whilst we travel around our beautiful (dying) earth to shine a light on the darkness that is occurring and reoccurring for millions. Giving those a voice that deserves to be heard. Uncovering all the lost uneducated broken souls and beauty, sharing and listening to the heartbreaking resilient untold stories from men, women and children of all ages and backgrounds. Supplying education surrounding all factors and start opening people's imagination and minds to help give them a better future by sharing any knowledge we have in only the best of ways. We will have a film crew that rides with us on every adventure recording a whole mix of content that we will share with hundreds of communities and on our social media channels.
    I plan to start by travelling to the Philippines by May 2019 to help with volunteering and to gain more insight on the corruption that is happening in the unfortunate country. Horrifyingly enough they are also a huge target for earthquakes and human trafficking! With a crazy percentage of the country living in poverty it makes them victims of gullibility,control and inequality. Once i feel i have gained enough insight of the basics like poverty, lack of resources etc, I will return to my safe little luxurious home in Australia where I will then meet up with my team in which we will start arranging long term beneficial goals to put in place with the help of a few contacts we gained when over there and hopefully help from you.
    All cost will be covered, that way the word will get spread quicker therefore more people will show up to get this show on the road and thankfully it is really not expensive for flights, travel, accommodation etc and the best part is I could feed a family of 6 for $2 and so can you. So the reason I am emailing you all this today is to ask for your help whether it be a compliment, knowledge, donations, resources, a sponsorship or you joining the team and tagging along. Not only will you be helping me achieve my goals but you will be saving, supporting, and caring for millions of others who need help TODAY. RIGHT NOW! What could be better? Please help me help them. Please.

    I really hope to hear from you soon, Love From Taylah McSpadden xoxoxoxo

  • Maddy Hughes
    Maddy Hughes 3 months ago

    Beautiful... everything she said couldn’t be more true.

  • AdvPalwasha khan
    AdvPalwasha khan 3 months ago

    I think soul connection is more important.