All the lonely people | Karen Dolva | TEDxArendal

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  • Published on Oct 17, 2017
  • Karen Dolva
    Title: CEO and co-founder of No Isolation
    Dolva is the CEO and co-founder of No Isolation. Her background is in UX/interaction design and informatics and she has previously co-founded the consultancy company UX Lab. With her co-founders, Marius Aabel and Matias Doyle, she has taken No Isolation to 36 employees, build AV1 for children with long-term illness, expanded sales 5 countries and started development of a senior product in less than two years. No Isolation’s goal is to help as many people as possible out of social isolation and loneliness by making technology available for those who can not just use generic solutions to stay connected.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
    For more news and about our TEDxArendal events, please visit www.tedxarendal.com.
    This is one of 27 TEDx talks and performances from the TEDxArendal Conference September 8th and 9th 2017, where leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more. Follow TEDxArendal on Instagram: instagram.com/TEDxArendal and news on Twitter: twitter.com/TEDxArendal Like TEDxArendal on Facebook: facebook.com/tedxarendal
    Kategori Ideelt arbeid og aktivisme
    Lisens Standard RU-clip-lisens Karen Dolva is the CEO and co-founder of No Isolation. Her background is in UX/interaction design and informatics and she has previously co-founded the consultancy company UX Lab.
    With her co-founders, Marius Aabel and Matias Doyle, she has taken No Isolation to 36 employees, build AV1 for children with long-term illness, expanded sales 5 countries and started development of a senior product in less than two years. No Isolation’s goal is to help as many people as possible out of social isolation and loneliness by making technology available for those who can not just use generic solutions to stay connected. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Comments • 3 597

  • Mary Kinuthia
    Mary Kinuthia 39 minutes ago

    I feel better already reading the comments. thanks

  • X i
    X i 10 hours ago

    Being lonely makes me personally go crazy I loose morality and all conscious this was very bad a few years back when I wanted to become a serial killer starting with those called me weird and hated people it can happen to any one its not a natural feeling we are supposed to be around are family and friends in a tribe not a shout away from each other.

  • Bogeyman0
    Bogeyman0 18 hours ago

    Came here cause I felt lonely after break up and this vid popped up. After video I am so grateful for friends and family. Like watching her and understanding that having few really good, close friends and family, and even few relationships in past. I experienced so much that others are only dreaming about and I should be so fu**ing grateful. I don´t know where you are, how old you are, who you are. But if you are feeling depressed, lonely or unloved, I believe in you. And wish you all lonely and desperate souls out there best of luck. I hope that your time will come and you will overcome this, cause you deserve to be happy and you are breathtaking... :)

  • fix Emmett
    fix Emmett 18 hours ago

    Young attractive women talking about loneliness only makes me feel better , very relatable thank you.

  • adyakartavya
    adyakartavya 23 hours ago

    I was feeling lonely and thought this video would help me. The sad statistics she gives in the beginning made me feel worse. Terrible feeling. Can't sit through the video.

  • Eusebio Ramirez
    Eusebio Ramirez Day ago

    But, why somebody wants to have friends to talk about his problems if most of the time bad advice is received and the problems are magnified? "Yeah, you should divorce him/her" "Don't allow it. Fight back" etc. Usually is worst when you talk to other people about your problems because you become justified as a victim. Loneliness is only a problem when you don't want to be lonely. When you assume that is a requirement to be happy.

  • George MiLo
    George MiLo Day ago

    I have always thought about how AI companions could really benefit in the reduction of loneliness. OS just like the movie "Her".

  • TheHumbuckerboy
    TheHumbuckerboy Day ago

    Nordic melancholy .

  • Vramnik7
    Vramnik7 Day ago +1

    im not lonely i have my PC :*

  • Amanda
    Amanda Day ago

    It's all about mindset. Being alone and being lonely are not the same. I know people who are in relationships and they are the loneliest people I know because they would rather be with someone who is wrong for them than be brave enough to go it alone. Work on yourself first and don't depend on others to make you happy. Take up a hobby. Go out for coffee by yourself and say hello to a stranger. I've met some amazing people that way.

  • kwin Restauro
    kwin Restauro Day ago

    I wish someday i can speak in front of ted talks about my experiences too... But i hope not about loneliness..
    Im lonely and depressed and i can say that im tired of entertaining myself..
    I am not alone by listening to you guys in this youtube way ..

  • Lisette Alvarez
    Lisette Alvarez 2 days ago +1

    I love it how when I confide in people that I'm lonely, most people's first response is, "But you need to be ok with being alone." They don't get that there's a major difference between being alone and being lonely.

  • T. Baugh
    T. Baugh 2 days ago

    Who else wants to embrace her with the warmest hug.

  • Anthony C
    Anthony C 3 days ago

    Dating apps are good/bad.

  • CHiliVanilli Rush
    CHiliVanilli Rush 3 days ago +1

    At least we are lonely together 😥

  • amy Mooney
    amy Mooney 3 days ago +1

    She has great legs

  • Newromantic999
    Newromantic999 4 days ago +1

    Japan must be the loneliest place in the world

  • Kittrell Gaskins
    Kittrell Gaskins 4 days ago

    Well after hearing this beautiful speech on loneliness. I guess is a lot of single women in Norway. I gotta book me a flight Norway have some gorgeous women.

  • LeO's LaB
    LeO's LaB 4 days ago

    Being alone doesn't mean u gotta be lonely but great talk I could feel this lady's pain

  • Manish Maity
    Manish Maity 4 days ago +4

    Smoker + Loneliness + Depressed - I could imagine my death is near

    • SurprisE
      SurprisE 2 days ago +1

      I am a smoker aswell, i could say i have friends, but i wouldn't consider them as good friends. They are just friends who come and go. But i realized, why should this bother me? Now with all the free time that we have, not going out or whatever you could do with friends, you could do things that u always wanted to, maybe go the gym and stop smoking, do something good for you. Maybe start playing an instrument doesnt matter what it is, go out and start living and meet new people. I know it's hard and it cant be done the next day, but everyone has to start somewhere and climb up.
      i hope i could have helped you somehow, good luck and take care of yourself

  • Shawn Eshwara
    Shawn Eshwara 4 days ago

    I love to be alone and I don't like to mixed people along make me strong. Alone can do anything 😎. I'm 30 still alone making good money and happy living.

  • Allen Kracalik
    Allen Kracalik 4 days ago +1

    It's extremely difficult to "socialize" if one is in any way "different," other than what's generally considered "normal." Yet human beings are by nature individuals and rightly value their individuality I recall reading in Ian Copeland's autobiography that an officer in the military declared to assembled troops, "We don't want individuals out there. We want soldiers!" That statement speaks volumes and applies to society as a whole.

  • Putri Meme05
    Putri Meme05 4 days ago

    Living in Indonesia make it is impossible to feel lonely 😁

  • Audrey Berrebi
    Audrey Berrebi 5 days ago

    I never realized how many lonely people there are. Wish I could help but one thing I know for sure is that doing volunteer work, helping others will raise self esteem and when your self esteem increases you will believe that someone can gain from your friendship. Once you believe that there will be no more loneliness 😊

  • XO
    XO 5 days ago

    FAMILY

  • Ushiab
    Ushiab 6 days ago +1

    Being lonely is an illusion.


    Because, I love you 😬😁
    😊
    🙏💕💕💕💕💕

  • amazingyear
    amazingyear 6 days ago

    solution please...

  • amazingyear
    amazingyear 6 days ago +1

    my loved one passed away May26. No One and I do mean No One except the attending physician and nurses cared or reached out to me in any way. I had to call a crisis line daily for 2 weeks because I did not have a single real friend! My loved one was my friend. Who was now passed.

  • Mercenary Mike
    Mercenary Mike 6 days ago

    It took a lot of courage to do this, she is an amazingly strong woman...

  • hendrix4151
    hendrix4151 6 days ago

    how to solve loneliness if you are a guy be goodlooking and rich!

  • evan penn
    evan penn 6 days ago

    You can hear the pain in her voice from start to finish. I hope her pain is less when she is not so nervous. But she did a great job. So brave.

  • Bren Webster
    Bren Webster 6 days ago

    Thank you.

  • Simplify IT
    Simplify IT 7 days ago

    RU-clip is deleting my comments..
    We can start a FB group for look out and support eachother to reduce loneliness..
    My Gmail..>> simpliifyit
    @gmail

  • Oceans
    Oceans 7 days ago

    When I was in college and the class lined up for sports teams the leaders would pick all their friends and I would be the last person to be picked. The fact is no one wanted me on their team. This happened every time. It was hard for me to make friends, I was shy and as I got older I found general conversation in a group to be extremely stressful. Even on a one to one I had difficulty and still do. I still do not have any friends. I go to the gym 5 days a week, go back home to an empty house, get my breakfast and plough through the day. I could go to the local club but I don't drink and everyone else does. I don't smoke. So life for me goes on. Funny thing is I can talk to people on the phone without a problem or sell a product or service without too much difficulty but personal conversation and I freeze. :(

    • Dominic Barsi
      Dominic Barsi 6 days ago

      I was lonely and married for 18 years. I finally moved out. To me, its better to be alone than alone under the guise of togetherness. I started volunteering.

  • Tang Kangkai
    Tang Kangkai 7 days ago

    Social media is capable of playing an important role in heping curing loneliness as the connection with any people from any corner of the world could lead us to find fellows alike. In other words, to realize no matter what situations we're in, we're not alone.

  • Ian Chen
    Ian Chen 7 days ago +1

    She’s so brave to speak out, I can feel she’s very nervous but she still make it!!

  • Lola Brouns
    Lola Brouns 7 days ago +1

    For everyone in the comments: there's a difference between loneliness and being alone.

  • Wholesome Meli
    Wholesome Meli 7 days ago

    I use to feel lonely now I have fallen in love with my solitude I socialize little bit meaningful

  • Rob Ot
    Rob Ot 8 days ago

    So everybody gets lonely and dies. Grumpy cat comes to mind, "Good" 😸

  • sweiland75
    sweiland75 8 days ago

    Loneliness puts a real strain on need for intimacy.

  • Balraj Rai
    Balraj Rai 8 days ago +1

    Hard to have a social circle when your poor...having friends is costly 😔

  • Nirupam Pratapgiri
    Nirupam Pratapgiri 8 days ago

    call a friend, you mean dominos?

  • ________________________________________

    she is so awkward and cute, I love it.

  • shashant khemka
    shashant khemka 9 days ago +7

    There are only 2 person, in this world who will always love you no matter what, Mom and Dad. ❤
    I am not alone. (:

  • Darth Patum
    Darth Patum 9 days ago

    I’ve always been lonely and never had true friends nor anyone to really confide in. I had a “relationship” for a couple of years. It was overall good but as usual, didn’t last. There have been people tell me of how I have much to offer yet those same people don’t stay by my side. Women tell me how handsome I am and what a wonderful smile I have but I’m still alone. I literally have no friends or a significant other to be with. I understand there’s something wrong with my brain for I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up again.

  • Raju Miah
    Raju Miah 9 days ago +2

    Been single all my life, 22m. I just woke up after a panic attack, I feel as though I have a ghost in me. Loneliness is killing me, I have no friends and no one to talk to. Depression is crippling me and I abuse drugs to feel better, nearly killing myself 3 times in the last year from close calls.
    But I'm not ready for a girlfriend... I'm not ready for love... That's what people say.
    I feel as though I'm losing my mind.

  • Lauren Ringer
    Lauren Ringer 10 days ago

    So beautiful to see your vulnerability. How courageous of you. There is no easy solution for loneliness. It's my belief that loneliness is more to do with an Existential Crisis. When there is a disconnect to God/Source Energy/The Universe lies a lot of our modern mental dis-ease. Love and light to all!
    .

    • Darth Patum
      Darth Patum 9 days ago +1

      What if one tries for years to connect with source and find happiness within only to continually feel lonely? If one literally has no friends nor partner to confide in then what? Efforts to make friends,”find your tribe”, join dating sites, nothing works. Social media is an empty hole full of ego and false pride, no friends there. People you meet who were “friends “ from school days or years past always say”I’ll call you sometime and we’ll get together, it’ll be great!”, yet they never do. I reach out and invite them but always get an excuse or cancellation. Where does one turn or go to then?

  • MsNovazz
    MsNovazz 10 days ago

    34, no friends, not very good relationship with sibling, no boyfriend, and lonely.
    Sometimes it just come to mind that i am gonna die alone. And there is nothing i can do about it.

    • MsNovazz
      MsNovazz 6 days ago

      @H Poels the struggle is real. 😔
      Well as much as i dont wanna be a pessimist, the optimist side of me even left me as days go by. I just hope i can endure living an alone lonely life.

    • H Poels
      H Poels 6 days ago

      @MsNovazz There have been times (I was about your age) I walked to the drugstore around the corner to buy me a pack of cigarettes and the girl behind the counter would be my only human contact for the day. Needless to say I was never without smokes. I know what you are going thru.

    • H Poels
      H Poels 6 days ago

      @MsNovazz Thank you lovely lady. Don't stop believing. Don't stop dreaming.

    • MsNovazz
      MsNovazz 7 days ago

      @H Poels thanks for the kind words. I wish you a happy marriage, sir. :)

  • DIVYA PATHAK
    DIVYA PATHAK 10 days ago

    Don’t know what she is trying to imply

  • BOZACKSKY
    BOZACKSKY 11 days ago +1

    Loneliness is the price paid for modernity, individualism, class etc all those "good" things democracy promises.

    • ________________________________________
      ________________________________________ 8 days ago

      but he is right, life in the west is too easy nowadays, back in the days' people couldn't survive without social interactions, now thanks to technology it's irrelevant.

    • Joseph
      Joseph 9 days ago

      @Tamuka Mtengwa so it's your FEAR that causes you not to befriend others? Why didn't you list that among your causes of loneliness?

      I'm sorry for the accusatory tone I took. It's not "your fault" you are afraid.
      I've also been hurt by people I trusted in my life.

      When you mentioned "class" I immediately thought "communist" and thus responded emotionally.

      But it's communism that I hate, not communists.

    • Joseph
      Joseph 9 days ago

      loneliness exists because of people like YOU!
      YOU don't do enough to comfort and befriend others!
      Stop shifting the blame outside yourself!

      Democracy... Lol!

      It's YOUR fault!

  • Alaska Aurora
    Alaska Aurora 11 days ago

    Hi I‘m 22 and I don‘t really have friends either.
    We‘re alone but there‘s plenty of us.

  • den o
    den o 11 days ago

    I am just used to being lonely.

  • Irrational Thoughts With Q

    “But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you. I love you. With all my heart, I love you.”
    ― Alan Moore

  • brandon rednose
    brandon rednose 12 days ago

    I'll face my problems like i always do alone sucks but it's how it is

  • Christopher Happel
    Christopher Happel 12 days ago

    Every time I go to the market I socialize with random individuals, because no one knows what that person is going through. People need to get out more and just have random conversation with random individual at the market.

  • Lima’s Bean hut
    Lima’s Bean hut 12 days ago +1

    I will kill myself before I’m 30

  • yellow tulips
    yellow tulips 12 days ago +33

    She was so nervous, I felt so anxious for her the whole video. 😔

  • Fixx Torque
    Fixx Torque 12 days ago

    I'm very lonely

  • _W_T_F _
    _W_T_F _ 12 days ago

    For those who are lonely as myself my own tip is just play a multiplayer games so you can have a conversations with other people or just go to a community online with the same interest as you are this works for me😅

  • Michele Mcnaugh
    Michele Mcnaugh 12 days ago

    Thankyou for a great heartfelt talk. Im lonely in my private life but busy with people in my working life. My weekends are just me. My children live in another country. This dosent help my situation. Im single as well. I make an effort to make friends with other singles and to meet for coffee or lunch. Unfortunately these people dont reciprocate. Its me who always does the inviting. I dont get it, im a nice decent woman.
    Im not depressed but do get sad some times. I have concerns for my old age.

  • Basil Sehwail
    Basil Sehwail 12 days ago

    This is the result of Media it mad every thing fake even human beings

  • Kola Cao
    Kola Cao 13 days ago +1

    "don't be alone!"
    Ok...how?
    "it causes diseases!"
    Ok then...how?
    "I don't know talk to people, its easy!"
    Right...

  • Michael Garth
    Michael Garth 13 days ago

    I found that a lot of people I know would contact me only when they need something. That's probably a common occurrence, I put boundaries in place and the phone grew silent. I get out all the time. I am always going to be the best person I can. And seek to be a good friend and say no hard to do sometimes.

  • Social Rejectz
    Social Rejectz 13 days ago

    My issue is that most of the people I associate with like me and love me but they all have their own happy lives to go to . I am new to this depression and I don’t like . It’s worse when I realize that even if no one had me they still have someone to talk to and to call so why bother with me

  • Paul Myers
    Paul Myers 13 days ago

    Alan Walker & Steve Aoki - Are you lonely ? Great song from the norwegien producer that raises a fundamental question.

  • Benny Wilson
    Benny Wilson 13 days ago +8

    Even RU-clip recommendation knows I'm lonely 😂

  • Paul Moore
    Paul Moore 13 days ago +99

    "Getting out and meeting people" means being lonely in crowded places.

    • TheHumbuckerboy
      TheHumbuckerboy Day ago

      @ Paul Moore .... Your comment makes me think of the following song line from 'Dance Away' by Roxy Music ... " Loneliness is a crowded room full of hoping hearts turned to stone, all together all alone" .

    • Geert365
      Geert365 9 days ago +2

      Hé, in holland there was a song "Nothing so lonely as a filled to the roof pub" (loosely translated).

  • Paul Moore
    Paul Moore 13 days ago +1

    I am reminded of when my wife was diagnosed with cancer. Family and friends all said "We will be there for you!" and then disappeared.

  • Jigmet Katpa
    Jigmet Katpa 14 days ago

    All through her talk ,i thought she is gonna cry. She didn't though

  • QDSGames
    QDSGames 14 days ago +3

    I am not suffering from loneliness, I enjoy every second of it.
    But great talk of a wonderful lady.

  • Katie Rojas
    Katie Rojas 14 days ago

    Looks like I’m going to end up as a lonely, demented alcoholic

  • ******
    ****** 14 days ago

    but beautiful how she spoke

  • ******
    ****** 14 days ago

    this is so shocking and heartbreaking

  • R X Conrad
    R X Conrad 14 days ago +4

    Excellent talk. Meaningful. Heartfelt. A Global problem indeed.

  • Sahid Carrasco
    Sahid Carrasco 14 days ago

    Just wanted to ask something about the title... Where do they all belong? 🤔

  • Colum Nolan
    Colum Nolan 14 days ago

    This is negative programming. She is telling people who are already lonely their health is failing by being alone. Not good. Very bad for these poor people. And she runs an organisation for lonely people? 😂 wow. She is basically not even clarifying & considering people who are natural introverts who may also feel lonely sometimes because of their nature....

  • Lena Adamenko
    Lena Adamenko 14 days ago +2

    Karen, thank yo SO SO much for your report!!! It is so important and helpful fo me :). Thank you!!!! 💕💕💕💕

  • Human Glitch
    Human Glitch 14 days ago +4

    I'm always alone everyday of my life :(

  • the happiest person in the world

    U c the name of my id is the happiest person in the world but it's a lie. I have been lonely as long as I could remember, or since the day my mom passed away when I was only 1. And it has affected my other relationships with everyone. I can't help it that's why I have arrived here today trying to share some as an anonymous girl.

  • Ej Ub
    Ej Ub 15 days ago

    I seek loneliness though because the company of other living beings is a hassle.

  • Mrs Mr
    Mrs Mr 15 days ago

    In 6th grade It felt like my cat was my only friend, but unfortunately he died. Two years have passed and I’m still this alone. I need someone to talk to, my family are thinking about getting another cat. I say I want one because I miss my old one bit it’s actually because I need someone to talk to. 😓

  • Grimm 23
    Grimm 23 15 days ago

    This problem exist because everything about modern day society is unnatural. We were never meant to live like this. The programmed lifestyle of eat, sleep, work, repeat all by the time of a clock is not natural nor good for our health. We are meant to live communally. We are basically going against our own human nature and wonder why we have such problems. The sooner we change this the better!

  • tattoo2244
    tattoo2244 15 days ago

    Feel alot better now lol...thanks

  • gurney85
    gurney85 15 days ago

    Bring back mandatory arranged marriages!

  • TheKvack
    TheKvack 15 days ago

    lol ..she said everyone have friends at the end .. thats a lie..

  • Tychoxi
    Tychoxi 16 days ago

    Where do they all come from?

  • Norbert Szabó Zsolt
    Norbert Szabó Zsolt 16 days ago

    It's intentionally designed to work like this....

  • Joe Sada
    Joe Sada 16 days ago

    Im heart broken. And my soul is severely hurting bad. Yet somehow i keep looking for my new love, Life goes on and im trying to keep it together..

    • George Constanza
      George Constanza 14 days ago

      "Will I wait a lonely lifetime? / If you want me to, I will"

  • Joe Sada
    Joe Sada 16 days ago

    Im heart broken. And my soul is severely hurting bad. Yet somehow i keep looking for my new love, Life goes on and im trying to keep it together..

  • xdalic
    xdalic 16 days ago

    I love being alone and i can always count on my family to be there for me, this society though..... is getting worse.

  • Arman Ahmadzai
    Arman Ahmadzai 16 days ago

    i could hear that she was norwigian befor she said it.

  • Hydronix006
    Hydronix006 16 days ago

    I'm blaming the internet. Just ban the internet for public use.

  • John Smith
    John Smith 16 days ago

    I think nothing is harder than being lonely while being around a bunch of people who are not. I get frustrated internally because most of the 'friends' i have just cant transcend that surface-base. They dont want to because they already have other friends

  • ミク Deviluke
    ミク Deviluke 17 days ago

    I feel ai robots like become home will slove this, Hopefully the 2020s will have robot like humans

  • lando hoth
    lando hoth 17 days ago +1

    Jesus is the cure for loneliness, because the loneliness inside of you is the void in your heart that only God can fill.

  • Francis Donaghy
    Francis Donaghy 17 days ago

    What a brave woman.

  • Chuyi He
    Chuyi He 17 days ago +1

    I’d say I hate it and suffer from it 20% of the time maybe less maybe a lil more but the rest of the time I embrace it and enjoy it...and being surrounded in all kinds of way I might actually suffered more than that 20% so.... maybe a fair choice😂😵 only now I have to count in the percentage of heart disease and dementia whaaat🤨Ted is getting..oh btw solutions start from 12:04 ...

  • Gordok Destroyer of Worlds

    what a beautiful girl

  • Gary Baronet
    Gary Baronet 17 days ago

    What a beautiful speech. I resonated so much with talk. It truly was something that most of us should watch to gain more of an understanding of those around us and not to judge so quickly. Thank you very much to the speaker. Beautiful inside and out. Thank you for spreading this message

  • Randy Cowart
    Randy Cowart 17 days ago

    Excellent video 👏👏👏👏👏