Emotional laws are the answer for better relationships: Diana Wais at TEDxThessaloniki

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  • Published on Jun 20, 2014
  • Nuclear physics, astronomy and molecular biology truly lack complexity when they are juxtaposed to one word: relationships. Interpersonal relationships represent probably one of the most complicated ideas that have troubled the human mind.
    Whether it's aristocracy, models, professional athletes or every day couples they all face the same difficulty of making their relationships work. Diana Wais talked about how "we are all the same" and how we respond with criticism when we feel threatened by words.
    However, it is important to "respond to the other person's need with empathy", she said. It is difficult to understand when you are being emotional and when irrational. Her most valid point though was that, as individuals, we need to conquer the unconscious emotions and understand that essentially, we are all fighting the same internal fight.
    In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Comments • 219

  • living
    living 3 days ago +1

    This is one of the great Tedx I have watched. Great lessons. Great speaker. Thanks for sharing!

  • Rebekka Swan
    Rebekka Swan 4 days ago

    Welcome to the human family. We're all the same.

  • Elif Taş
    Elif Taş 5 days ago

    awareness+avoid getting triggered+respond the other persons need first with love and emphaty
    I think most beatiful part of this speech is the personal story she told. It begins in 7:11.

  • Anja Manuel
    Anja Manuel 6 days ago

    Go Diana! Wonderful talk.

  • Silfredo Rodriguez
    Silfredo Rodriguez 7 days ago

    Welcome to the human family. We are all the same

  • Amelia Nicholas
    Amelia Nicholas 8 days ago

    That was a great Ted talk

  • Glitter Maiden
    Glitter Maiden 21 day ago +1

    What if the husband gave his wife reason to suspect an affair? What if he had a history of not showing her affection, taking her for granted and being a bully towards her? What if she found out he had an online dating profile? Sometimes we have good reason to believe bad things in others by their actions. I

    • K Size
      K Size 19 days ago

      Discernment is key.

  • Lidiya Artyukov
    Lidiya Artyukov 26 days ago

    Very good video. I also learned a lot on this topic from AllatRa book and it changed my behavior and attitude to other people. Very recommended

  • Anna Malov
    Anna Malov 28 days ago

    Great job. I am just curious why the triggers in women is usually associated with their father figure ,rarely anyone projecting towards mothers..
    Isn't it important to consider family dynamic as a whole ?

  • meowkki
    meowkki Month ago +3

    Why this lady sound like BMO

  • Kandela Brown
    Kandela Brown Month ago

    Is she paid by the minute? Blahhhhhhhblahhhhhhblahhhhh!!!!! Men are idiots for thinking they need a woman all day every day. No woman means you get to have that fast car, boat, motorcycle, go fishing when you want to, get home drunk without any problems, take a vacation where you want to, and best of all, burp and fart when you want to.

  • jaim haas
    jaim haas Month ago

    the accent is a pretty good reason to DO her.

  • Native American
    Native American Month ago

    Hummm I knew this, just needed that Conformation.. Thank You Love and Blessings..,Always 😇😇

  • charles Davidson
    charles Davidson Month ago +1

    it's not just what others trigger in you, but it's what you say to yourself. i.e., you can and do trigger yourself then which makes you more susceptible to other's triggers. what's needed is a fifth question, what do i need to do to heal myself?

  • James Roberts
    James Roberts Month ago +1

    Deal with the person in front of you. What a novel concept.

  • MrTORISSIMO
    MrTORISSIMO Month ago +1

    Nice camera angles by the way kudos for that never seen that before in ted talk..(I know i'm not posting about the talk but the crew behind in production seldom gets credit doesn'it 😋)

    • James Roberts
      James Roberts Month ago

      Yah, the closeups of the camel toe ruined the rest of the views.

  • Madhra AL
    Madhra AL Month ago +1

    It works always...i used to do it often...😉

  • Stu Shapiro
    Stu Shapiro 2 months ago

    That was absolutely brilliant.

  • Angela Johnson
    Angela Johnson 2 months ago

    Interesting talk! I enjoyed it and understood

  • John Roddy
    John Roddy 2 months ago

    Great speaker and confidence well done

  • Lola M
    Lola M 2 months ago

    Excellent speech. Really worth the watch.

  • Orkhan Alibayli
    Orkhan Alibayli 3 months ago

    What is the opening soundtrack?

    • Carl Louis
      Carl Louis Month ago

      Dance macabre from Camille saint-saens

  • Steve Rotter
    Steve Rotter 3 months ago +2

    Great! I’ve tried this with my wife. She gets angry when I’m calm. Narcissist. Then she physically attacked me. Arrested

  • 10kSpoons
    10kSpoons 3 months ago

    I'm sure the first woman would have been less triggered if he at least gave her a reason for being late so many times instead of just hanging up the phone. That's sketchy AF and a red flag

  • clement onyekadi
    clement onyekadi 3 months ago

    REALLY LOVE TED ,JUST DISCOVERED IT

  • Riddhi Shah
    Riddhi Shah 3 months ago

    God. She talks really slowly.

  • David Esposito
    David Esposito 3 months ago +2

    Fear = Critical Critisim.
    3 cardinal mistakes in response to being triggered : become defensive, stop listening, and don’t exude a lot of gravitas.
    When we exude a negative state we also propagate that in others.
    I love love love how she said if you ignore emotions you are not so rational.
    Human reason = function to hold humans together
    Logic = functions to get to right answer, yet exists entirely outside of us.
    Underneath unconscious there are emotions of pain fear and shame.

  • David Esposito
    David Esposito 3 months ago

    Object constancy: “You are so angry you forget that you love me” * made her think and check her self “yeah” “Diana, I’m angry with you to, but I also love you”
    “I had to admit that behind my anger was my fear of getting hurt”
    “Avoid getting triggered”
    “Respond with love and compassion”

  • David Esposito
    David Esposito 3 months ago

    38% of population has experienced emotional abuse on average of 7 years.
    (Many don’t even know it)
    43% of people have an insecure attatchment.
    Emotionally abusive people tend not to even know they are abusive.
    And the people who claim they would never do this, also tend to be often the most likley to do so.
    It’s self deception that really breeds these issues.

  • JenniOrVictoria
    JenniOrVictoria 3 months ago +1

    Regarding responding to fights with loving responses - I think it depends on what you are fighting about and also whether your partner is actually right for you... sometimes you need to stand your ground. Sometimes you need to (without being abusive) be stern so that the other person understands how serious you are about the issue. Sometimes you just need to have and remember that crushing feeling of disappointment / hurt / anger because you need this to break it off with and get over the person you are with because they are wrong for you.

    • JenniOrVictoria
      JenniOrVictoria 3 months ago

      But overall this talk is great and very helpful if you’re in a relationship with the right person

  • May We Feel
    May We Feel 3 months ago +2

    So informative, and powerful! Thank you for your inspirational energy, Diana! 😍🙏🌹

  • Vlaicu Anne-Marie
    Vlaicu Anne-Marie 3 months ago

    WOW

  • Aman Brar
    Aman Brar 3 months ago

    Beautiful explainations👍🏻👍🏻

  • Que Unlimited
    Que Unlimited 4 months ago

    She's lovely 🥀

  • yunielescaz
    yunielescaz 4 months ago +1

    her ex sounds like the perfect man, and yet they broke up. our species is doomed.

    • Mary Barboza
      Mary Barboza 2 months ago

      It seem she suffer from attachment disorder?

  • Rita Gaston
    Rita Gaston 4 months ago +1

    Wonderful info BUT all theoretical. Needs to be experiential which takes years of work bc roots of reaction are buried very deep and we have many buffers ( defense mechanisms) to protect us from painful traumatizing experiences. But good luck !

  • CG
    CG 4 months ago +2

    Context is everything. You can't go around wearing either 'pink or blue glasses' for the sake of it. Pushing it harder, 'pink glasses' could even seem like propaganda from the 50s on how to be a devoted wife, without considering anything else. I think you must think things through to determine how to act, especially when you are feeling at peace with yourself and empowered. Also you must be able to find happiness within yourself as well.

  • Marichka Milord
    Marichka Milord 4 months ago +7

    Now, my biggest challenge is distinguishing when I am being triggered and when my intuition is telling me there is something truly off about the situation. For instance, let say you suddenly notice a change in how your partner interacts with you. He is no longer as consistent in checking how you are, and becomes a bit distant. Would I be responding with "emotional trigger" if I suspect that there is someone else in the picture? I mean where is the line between "listening to your intuition", analyzing one's inconsistent behavior and getting triggered? I would appreciate if someone could enlighten me. Thank you :)

    • Kjerstin Schwendiman
      Kjerstin Schwendiman 8 days ago

      Responding to your intuition is built in, there is nothing wrong with responding to your intuition. The way in which you respond is what is important. You can be emotionally triggered by something and something can be wrong at the same time. Our behaviors will defend our needs. We only get to chose how we respond to situations...not how other people react to us. Do what you feel is right in any given scenario, in a balanced and healthy manner.

  • L R
    L R 4 months ago

    Thank you x

  • Dodge Blake
    Dodge Blake 4 months ago +1

    Many narcs/borderline abuse survivors commenting here, including myself. We must understand: it was our lack of emotional intelligence that made us get involved (and stay in the cicle of abuse) with cluster B's. Western society should know that not being emotionally intelligent can literally cost your life.

  • Christopher Broderick
    Christopher Broderick 4 months ago +3

    If you break these principles down further you end up with The Four Agreements

  • Keith Mead
    Keith Mead 4 months ago

    Read Bible and follow it's advice with Jesus Christ help, and you do not need people to "fix" you.

  • abrasionthermals
    abrasionthermals 4 months ago

    She seemed surprised by the reaction of the audience judging by her nervousness later. The first thing I checked to know whether this was a decent woman was her choice of footwear. She cleared that, and the rest of the outfit did pass also. Would like to give her a nod, or say "nice to meet you".

  • Azalea Jamie
    Azalea Jamie 5 months ago

    Anyone else recognize the intro music from The Arcana?

  • Britney Becker
    Britney Becker 5 months ago +7

    When you put God first and REALLY put God first, you wont need anyone else to Love you to be happy because God Loves you the most and everything else falls into place when you develop a relationship with God and talk to him all the time

    • Max Igan
      Max Igan 5 months ago

      true

    • Britney Becker
      Britney Becker 5 months ago +1

      God gives you compassion he created each and every one of us

  • Jyoti Swami
    Jyoti Swami 5 months ago

    Excellent!

  • These Truths
    These Truths 5 months ago

    What I've tried to develop is an appreciation for others that point out to me how I annoy them, either through direct, serious words, or in humor (which I usually ask for confirmation). Then I assess if they are 100% valid, partly accurate, or being prideful in offense because that's where they are in life. Sometimes it's a mix of all three.
    Quiet time and delayed feedback is a must because usually my first impression is somewhat off. The life lessons that we have hardwired into us about "first impressions" is not a valid tool to apply in close, or a desire to be close, relationships. It's valid in professional relationships but there must be dividers in our reaction centers (our brains) so that we remain aware of this. peace...

  • julesdownunder
    julesdownunder 5 months ago +7

    Yeah I tried this. I mustered the calm compassionate response in spite of past betrayal. Turned out the second partner was having an affair too. Still I maintain the compassionate response. Maybe one day I will meet an honest loving man capable of compassion too. What I need to heal in myself is my tendency to don rose coloured glasses and forget how many narcissistic, psychopathic & machiavellian personalities are out there.

    • K Size
      K Size 19 days ago

      In the meantime you are sharpening your discernment tools.

    • C Croft
      C Croft Month ago

      julesdownunder true

  • Diana Tavares
    Diana Tavares 5 months ago

    So good!

  • Gloria Ovung
    Gloria Ovung 5 months ago

    Beautiful

  • inner strength
    inner strength 6 months ago

    Fear/pain/shame ie. criticism can trigger conflict and leads to unhelpful situations. Past experiences and memories linked to determine whether its handled positively or negatively. Mastering emotional laws will enable all to have harmonious relationship :
    1)awareness
    2)avoid triggered and
    3)responds to another persons need first with love and compassion.
    Ask this question to heal your receptor fields so that you didn't get triggered that easily.
    1)Whats getting triggered in me?
    2)What am i afraid?
    3)What lies underneath that?
    4)What do i need to heal in myself?
    Ignoring emotions makes you rational thinker.
    Healing your underneath will ensure you feel curios of another need - without reacting to what they say to you.

  • MIRNA PAIVA
    MIRNA PAIVA 6 months ago

    Thank you for remind me that!!

  • runninginsept
    runninginsept 6 months ago +2

    A lot of triggered people in the comments 🤔

  • runninginsept
    runninginsept 6 months ago +59

    'You cannot be triggered into an emotional reaction unless there is a receptor field inside you that's interacting with the trigger.'
    This is something all empathic people understand of others instinctually, and it's wonderful to be defined so clearly.

    • munira zaira
      munira zaira Month ago

      @The Horseback Heroine thank...think i get that!!!
      * . *

    • The Horseback Heroine
      The Horseback Heroine Month ago +1

      It's finding that receptor field that's the tricky part.

    • munira zaira
      munira zaira Month ago

      Wud u mind explaining to me in another words plz???
      *.*

    • Lola M
      Lola M 2 months ago

      runninginsept that got me too. It made so much sense.

  • abeer suhail
    abeer suhail 6 months ago

    whats the name of the lady in video?

  • Anne Dige
    Anne Dige 6 months ago

    Yes

  • ultrahapoel99
    ultrahapoel99 6 months ago +3

    Well all the points she mentioned are useless if you are in a relationship with a narc

    • K Size
      K Size 19 days ago

      Agree.Been there. Done that.

  • Eve Louise
    Eve Louise 6 months ago +23

    She deserved way more laughs, the hilarious, classy, gorgeous, intelligent woman that she is! I reeeeaaallly enjoyed this.. I get it now.. Click.

  • Thumb Print
    Thumb Print 6 months ago +11

    So the 'good' wife's father paid for her university education so she could go on to become a simpering woman waiting for hubby to come home two hours late. Please, let's switch up the anecdotes.

    • Eli Otis
      Eli Otis 2 months ago +1

      Iris Xisto 😂🤣🤣👍🏾

    • Iris Xisto
      Iris Xisto 4 months ago +6

      I'm sorry that's what you took away from the video. So i guess you think the example could have been different:sure you got a valid point. However if you can't see past that you just missed some very usefull points of view. Try watching it again and "replace" the "simpering wife" with the casseroule, with a stay at home dad that just survived 12875 tea parties and 547 makeovers

    • Hera Hagstoz
      Hera Hagstoz 6 months ago

      Thumb Print Agreed!

  • MsBuchnerd - Amelie
    MsBuchnerd - Amelie 6 months ago +3

    I never thought about this before, but honestly why isn't there a "Social Interactions" subject in schools?

  • Ainsley Flint
    Ainsley Flint 6 months ago +2

    I was the second wife.... turned out he was having an affair.

    • Julie Carter
      Julie Carter 6 months ago +1

      Ainsley Flint I’m sorry to hear this... I also experienced this. It’s a difficult situation. 😢 💔

    • Thumb Print
      Thumb Print 6 months ago

      Ha ha. You were too nice.

  • OhLadyTam
    OhLadyTam 6 months ago +3

    Your fear simply didn't get realized. Mine did.

  • Laureen Swaby
    Laureen Swaby 6 months ago +2

    Good video! Best relatable line for me..."You have an emotional brain & it can & will override your rationale brain".

  • shauryaa saxena
    shauryaa saxena 7 months ago +3

    Great... Eye opener♥

  • Ritika Nahak
    Ritika Nahak 7 months ago

    I couldnt get the 3rd point of self questioning.can anyone help me with it please?

  • Mariana Khill
    Mariana Khill 7 months ago +1

    Did the two women with different responses end in divorce?

  • goofy grin
    goofy grin 7 months ago

    Great speech. Annoying camera angles.

  • CreativiTimothy
    CreativiTimothy 7 months ago +1

    Finally, a spokesperson who doesn't believe in the BS that logic alone without emotions can solve all problems.

  • CreativiTimothy
    CreativiTimothy 7 months ago +91

    The video is very worth the watch, but if you don't have time and want a summary. Here:
    Scars under your emotional receptor fields cause you to take offense or negative feelings (6:00). It's often unconscious. In our world, there is a view that reason alone will solve all our problems, and that ignoring your emotions somehow makes you more rational. If you unaware of the emotions, however, emotions will override your rational brain, as it's how the brain works. (12:34) In order to find those emotions, try these 4 questions...
    - What's triggering me
    - What am I afraid of
    - What lies underneath that fear
    - What do I need to heal myself

  • Mallen Kennels UK
    Mallen Kennels UK 7 months ago

    Any one watching this must be a right sado lol

  • Devika vernekar
    Devika vernekar 7 months ago +15

    What if you already know what gets you triggered and you keep quite most of the times understanding your partner and now he’s started taking advantage of it ? What if your partner thinks you are in fact “weak” rather than “understanding” for not reacting.

    • Mz modae'
      Mz modae' 6 months ago

      @Hera Hagstoz so very true, well said 👍👌

    • Hera Hagstoz
      Hera Hagstoz 6 months ago +2

      This is great for couples who share equal power culturally and financially. Sadly there is great inequality and sometimes being self aware without a way to take any real action can get a person into serious states of stress and anxiety which makes it almost impossible not to create these triggering pathways. I find it really interesting that the main solutions to manage a person who violates your trust etc is analogous to the fight/flight/freeze instinct we all have; ie. argue/leave/stay. It’s a response to predators and a part of us still can’t help but go back to this when someone else “triggers” this. Basically this talk is a roundabout way to encourage people to be more empathetic and less self critical.

    • Mz modae'
      Mz modae' 6 months ago

      @Cindy Mulvey this is common phycology about a narcissist. There's alot of info online about it.

    • Cindy Mulvey
      Cindy Mulvey 6 months ago

      Katy I. How doll you know what all have narcissist , fear traits

  • Rachel Xiao
    Rachel Xiao 7 months ago

    Good talk, but I had to watch this x1.25 speed. And her way of acting/speaking style kinda bothers me for some reason...

  • Amanda Perez
    Amanda Perez 7 months ago +7

    Wowww!she should teach at a university as a class. Talented and intelligent woman! GOD BLESS HER

  • Taryn Hoofman
    Taryn Hoofman 7 months ago +12

    Yes we need to teach our children how to identify and handle their emotions.

    • Dutchgala
      Dutchgala 7 months ago +1

      DBT needs to be taught in H.S. (well anyone at anytime)

  • Louvenia
    Louvenia 7 months ago +4

    7:20. I realized I'm her in the story. Def need to work on healing my emotional receptors.

  • G Molina
    G Molina 7 months ago +1

    She speaks clearly. I mean, her pronunciation is perfect for me. My native languague is spanish.

  • ACXD ATTX
    ACXD ATTX 7 months ago +2

    Trigger, has a bad flavor now

  • HouseJug
    HouseJug 8 months ago +30

    Method:
    Be aware of yourself and how you feel
    Don’t take it personally, there’s probably something else going on
    Remain centred on your values instead of being defensive
    Respond in kindness to the other persons need first

    • william lowdon
      william lowdon 16 days ago

      ive had problems with relationships all my life, i say, do the wrong thing, destroy any chance of happiness, this is good, basic advice, thank you.

    • Native American
      Native American Month ago +1

      Excellent Advice, HouseJug... I'm trying So Hard,, Thanks 😀Love and Blessings 😇

  • HouseJug
    HouseJug 8 months ago

    Respond with love 💖

  • Sonal Modha
    Sonal Modha 8 months ago

    Amazingggggggggg

  • Lana Sessy
    Lana Sessy 8 months ago +1

    The video is so educating...♡♡♡

  • PINK ROSES
    PINK ROSES 8 months ago +20

    So unfortunate that the majority of malignant Cluster B personality types refuse therapy. Also, never go to couples therapy with your abuser because everything they observe will be used against you in the future.

    • James Roberts
      James Roberts Month ago

      Especially if the "abuse" is a product of misandric brainwashing. A man has a right to defend himself from false accusations.

    • Willow Richardson
      Willow Richardson 3 months ago

      @pink roses I’m not minimizing your pain or experience. I personally know Cluster B’s, including myself that have gotten help and healing. It’s the narcissistic and dark triad ones you need to steer clear of. They’re bottom feeders imo.

    • Cris Barreto
      Cris Barreto 4 months ago

      @1xXxIceGirlxXx1 Cluster B personality disorders are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional or unpredictable thinking or behavior and interactions with others. They include antisocial personalitydisorder, borderline personalitydisorder, histrionic personalitydisorder and narcissisticpersonality disorder.

    • Breezy1313
      Breezy1313 6 months ago +4

      This is a Fact Maturing Empath, these malignant cluster B personalities are opportunistic parasites. They seek out Empaths by drawing them in with their pity stories. They are damaged goods who don't know how to give love but want to receive it. They are selfish and always try to justify their "wrongness" as they are always the victim. They are delusional narcissistic sociopaths with a broken past who believe that since everybody has done them wrong, they will only think of themself...me me me and me.

    • PINK ROSES
      PINK ROSES 6 months ago

      @1xXxIceGirlxXx1 sociopaths, malignant narcissists , psychopaths.

  • menotq
    menotq 8 months ago

    halfway through it seems like the word restimulation and being in the present could replace verbosity

  • Hassan khan
    Hassan khan 8 months ago +1

    Thank you so much... for the insight.

  • Nathan Reed
    Nathan Reed 8 months ago +3

    What ive learned is that we run WITH our parents emotions, far and near. I also learn that our feelings in a group could actually be the exact feeling the person in front of you is feeling, like a giude to feeling their emotions. Sow your feelings are not your own but a tool to better understand the man in front of you.

  • Abhilasha Saroj
    Abhilasha Saroj 8 months ago

    This was super. thank you

  • Zanderpus Ward
    Zanderpus Ward 8 months ago +30

    I think the speakers points are valid and pretty well explained. The aim is to limit 'excessive' response by understanding the cause and thus reducing conflict.
    But even with understanding not every relationship, personal or professional, is fixable as the speaker demonstrated. Especially if the other half of the equation is unresponsive.
    Sometimes the anger is righteous and all you can do is try to limit the damage to yourself and innocent bystanders.

    • Jacadz
      Jacadz 16 hours ago

      It’s true you can’t make every relationship work. But you can practice this kind of self mastery in all situations that will make you happier and stronger regardless.

    • tjpm
      tjpm 3 months ago

      Zanderpus Ward i was watching a few videos on the stoic philosophy today. I guess someone is trying to tell me something. Stoic is not the same but teaches you how to responde because they believe in cause and effect. So the goal is to cause less ripples.

  • Emily Alp
    Emily Alp 8 months ago +13

    Beautiful talk--amazing.Will add something. The practice of mindfulness--particularly regular sitting in stillness and focusing on a mantra or the breath for minimum 20 minutes at a time--can help us get more time in those moments between a trigger and reaction. The four questions are brilliant and undeniably necessary as a framework, but when you are in the middle of being triggered, it helps to have built up the part of you (through regular sitting) that can detach long enough to reduce any damage and then go inside and apply the four steps. Just thoughts. Not to take away from this talk but perhaps add to it in a humble way. It's brilliant!

    • Donna Janus
      Donna Janus 2 months ago

      Yes, and mindfulness creates space between reaction and response so, after asking the four questions as Diana proposes - as my teacher, Zen Master Jun Po says: "ask the other person; 'help me understand?"

  • Kostas stv
    Kostas stv 8 months ago +5

    And I forgot to note.... What a feminine woman! You are a very special lady. ☺️🙂

  • Kostas stv
    Kostas stv 8 months ago +9

    What a fantastic, coherent and accurate speech! Congratulations!

  • always facts never
    always facts never 8 months ago +14

    why'd yall break up tho...

  • Patricia Bounty
    Patricia Bounty 8 months ago

    10:16

  • Rose Moon
    Rose Moon 8 months ago +1

    so true

  • Cheryl Rock
    Cheryl Rock 8 months ago +12

    Yes! Yes! Yes! I know exactly what you are speaking about. We need to teach our children these tools so they can grow up feeling happy and whole.

  • Water Ski Lake Austin
    Water Ski Lake Austin 8 months ago

    Thank you!🙏✨💫

  • Laura InRevison1
    Laura InRevison1 8 months ago +17

    Yeah, but what if you did find out that your suspicions were correct? Even if you walk around trusting everything?

    • brieannajm
      brieannajm 19 days ago

      Thank you for reminding me of this and for recognizing it's value.
      Truth is so powerful and when it comes, everything all seems so very clear!

    • K Size
      K Size 19 days ago +1

      @brieannajm You won't find the right one, when you are bound to the wrong one! Such prophetic words! Great point to remember!

    • brieannajm
      brieannajm 6 months ago +13

      Then you give the person who has Earned your rejection, your absence from their life. They made that choice when they violated your trust. Don't stay & let them change you into a suspicious person, and they will. Free yourself for the person who will honor & reciprocate your trusting heart. You won't find the right one when you are bound to the wrong one.

    • CreativiTimothy
      CreativiTimothy 7 months ago +5

      Then you just sympathize and realize that the person who done the suspicions is still flawed as a person and needs healing

  • El Arte de Ser Humanos
    El Arte de Ser Humanos 8 months ago +13

    When talking from the heart to other hearts I find technology utterly USELESS .

  • Victoria Mengqian Wu
    Victoria Mengqian Wu 9 months ago +9

    Yup I thought I was the only few who haven't got their lives sorted out by the age of near 30, I thought I was the only few who were born with so much internal struggle and fear. I found this video very helpful as I was getting triggered again yesterday and now I probably can deal with it with some new perspectives. Thank you

    • Jin A
      Jin A 2 days ago

      I'm 35..still struggling.

    • Leelz247
      Leelz247 5 months ago

      No one has their life together, trust me

    • Abhinav Raizada
      Abhinav Raizada 6 months ago

      Me too nearing 30's still struggling in life..

  • rlew8095
    rlew8095 9 months ago +86

    This video changed my life! I had to watch it about 5 times to understand it totally. Things with my girlfriend kept getting worse, and I kept trying to fix it. She was at the point where I did everything to fix it, she took it as a negative, instead of something positive. So it kept snow balling.... the more I tried to fix it, the worse it got. Now her and I understand why, and can keep fixing it together... with good attitudes. Thanks so much!! Where can I find more videos of your talks? Didn't see anymore on RU-clip.

    • Kandela Brown
      Kandela Brown Month ago

      Kick her to the curb man! Live a peaceful life to the max

    • Beaaaaaansgreen
      Beaaaaaansgreen 5 months ago +1

      Look at videos on attachment styles. I feel like the concepts are similar & can provide u guys with more insight

    • Wah Wah
      Wah Wah 5 months ago

      Thank you 😊

    • J Oh
      J Oh 6 months ago +3

      thats great,... def helps to have a partner who is willing to change.... =\

  • Michael Archuleta
    Michael Archuleta 9 months ago

    emotion is pure stupidity while logic provides you a living. women ahould grow brains instead of feeling sorry for themselves