The lethality of loneliness: John Cacioppo at TEDxDesMoines

  • Опубликовано: 9 сен 2013
  • In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Комментарии • 2 010

  • Free
    Free 4 дня назад

    Just order your psyche in solitude. Loneliness is only toxic when the isolated person's direction in life depends on other people. If you know your way you require no social interaction.

  • Jesus Satan
    Jesus Satan 7 дней назад

    If you're surrounded by assholes solitude is a bliss.

  • Fulla Disney
    Fulla Disney Месяц назад

    please I have a question what comes first ? thinking or feelings

  • Fulla Disney
    Fulla Disney Месяц назад

    i am a person of values i live for it i die for it i fight the world for it as soon as I don't hurt it is my right to choose to be lonely and honestly I learnt from my loneliness much better than being with others I am inspired by the theories much better than the reality .iam lonely not because of others I respect all of them and I am not seeing any exception on me . I just give importance to humanity much better than I give it to objects . unfortunately I ve met a lot of people giving importance to objects and forgetting about human feelings . they don't how much great they are and we are all . but even being lonely I think about people and I want to good things to them . being lonely is just to increase creativity in my head and my soul

  • manicsurfing
    manicsurfing Месяц назад

    @2:09 i disagree with the part that "both self evident truths cant be true" and so doesn't buddism.

  • Glorious Waifu 89
    Glorious Waifu 89 Месяц назад

    I have made peace with my hallucinations thank you solitude thank you

  • Tracy Bush
    Tracy Bush 2 месяца назад

    Loneliness is not a phase.......
    ~Layne Staley

  • Nunayo Bisnez
    Nunayo Bisnez 2 месяца назад

    What he says about becoming hypervigilant against perceived negative responses from other hits home for me because that's become an issue for me. Have also come to the same conclusion he has about volunteering or becoming a part of something bigger than me and my selfish, small world is key to feeling better. Not a good thing at all to sit and ruminate alone so much.

  • daddy sprinkle
    daddy sprinkle 2 месяца назад

    I think the thing most of us introverts need to realize is that no one knows we are lonely but ourselves and maybe our family. So when we go in public, the only person that thinks we are different are ourselves. And we just can’t overcome that and it’s hard

  • Zak Adoke
    Zak Adoke 2 месяца назад


  • Artemis
    Artemis 2 месяца назад +1

    Brilliant! Everything he said was very true. Especially the part where the brain can not feel empathy or be able to walk in someone else's shoes when you are in self preservation mode. Sad but true.

    • Alexis Ray
      Alexis Ray 2 месяца назад

      Crazy righteous info, huh? Wow! It explains narcissism, in a way, frankly. Man, we gotta figure out how we can fix this. It's expensive and it's dangerous. BUT it is preventable, they say. Yes, it seems the world's people have lost empathy for one another but that doesn't signal an end, right? Have you heard of Sidewalk Talk, yet? They're helping in so many ways. Yay.

  • Radagast Brown
    Radagast Brown 3 месяца назад

    Okay, lonely people are dangerous, got it. Thanks.

  • Radagast Brown
    Radagast Brown 3 месяца назад

    With less than three minutes to go, is he going to offer any solution suggestions?

  • Radagast Brown
    Radagast Brown 3 месяца назад

    He says lonely people are stigmatized, and then he goes on to stigmatize us more. Being lonely absolutely does not make me less empathetic.
    The rest I am sure is all true.

  • pat winn
    pat winn 3 месяца назад

    Mr.(?) Cacioppo, I'm so happy that I listened to your video. It was everything I've been looking for, helpful, and so well done!

  • Tim Last
    Tim Last 4 месяца назад

    This is very true. Help me

  • Highlighted reply
    Highlighted reply 4 месяца назад

    People are rewarded by being fake. To gain money and status, to expand and grow. Building a fake persona to fit into a highly mobile modern world.
    Should you show weakness or sadness, admit failure, you will be cast aside.

    JACK LIVES HERE 4 месяца назад

    It was hard to lisent, so it is true. -.-

  • micaUSA
    micaUSA 4 месяца назад

    Well, thanks for the obvious. Yes I’m alone. I’m going to die sooner. Thanks for confirming. If I had friends or family with me, I wouldn’t be alone.

  • Margo Lockweeze
    Margo Lockweeze 4 месяца назад

    Well, If being alone in a crowd = Early Death? Then what's the HOLD UP! LET GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

  • Nikola Nebulus
    Nikola Nebulus 4 месяца назад


  • boo boo
    boo boo 4 месяца назад

    All 3 of us are very happy.

  • Fir Las
    Fir Las 4 месяца назад

    Another huge BS - loneliness is NO disease!!!

  • jasper h.
    jasper h. 4 месяца назад

    If you are going to show statistics in the form of bar charts don’t manipulate them. It is not hard to find that the red “shocking” bar is 12 times bigger than the air pollution bar. I am not great at mental math’s but I am quite sure that you divide 45 by 5 you get 9 instead of 12. This is a significant difference especially if the gray bars of alcohol and obesity are of by just a small margin. You lose a lot of credibility if you start to mislead and present things that are just factually wrong. Great job ted for not checking this before letting this guy present this online. To show how I calculated this (and if other people want to check). I took a screenshot of this at full screen in 720p on a screen with a resolution of 1366 by 768, I measured the pixels and divided them through the 5% bar
    5%=51px long=1 (duh) should be: 1
    20%=193 px long= 3.784314 should be:4
    30%=298 px long= 5.843137 should be:6
    45%=616 px long= 12.07843 should be:9
    In conclusion misleading charts should be checked beforehand it is sad that someone can present things as factual whilst misleading people to get them to believe him. And yes loneliness is something we should do something about… but with facts and not lies

  • Celeste Kaminska
    Celeste Kaminska 4 месяца назад

    organized gang stalker create fear and terrorize individuals into islation and lonliness, their goal is for you to be so devastted you kill yourself its maliciously cruel and no one stops them

  • Major PainDiaz
    Major PainDiaz 5 месяцев назад

    Yeah, I will get connected as soon as I find a way to eliminate *HEIGHTISM* 😒

  • Joestar
    Joestar 5 месяцев назад

    synchronicity at one point, snoot is depicted as very lonely 10:34

  • Kitebuggy
    Kitebuggy 5 месяцев назад

    I suffer from Loneliness and Depression for 30 Years now. Only very few people can even imagine the bitterness that can develop through this. I very often hear things like : "Leave the house, meet people, you need to socialize ... " and so on.
    Well, i can`t anymore. It makes me feel even worse. But i find some comfort when spending time with Dogs.
    And i`m absolutely certain that these Animals can sense when a person feels isolated and lonely.

    • Alexis Ray
      Alexis Ray 2 месяца назад +1

      I'm so sorry. I did, too. I had to reinvent myself from the inside-out or death over depression was a better outcome. Stay in the house and start researching organizations that help others, like Sidewalk Talk. Get involved in one that makes you feel excited when you read about it, OK? THEN you will have a reason to risk feeling 'odd' in a group for you will have found like-HEARTED souls who ALSO find JOY in helping others. You'll see. It will work, just keep trying to find that 'thing' that lights you up. Your decades of despair and depression are going to serve others somehow. LOOK for that and you will find it. Yes, dogs perceive your feelings. (So do cats, btw) Animals may be your path. Check it out. Hang in there, Kitebuggy.

  • Jay Macabre
    Jay Macabre 5 месяцев назад

    Ive been severely neglected my whole life and wasnt aloud to have friends and if i talked to kids at school i was bullied and keep not being trust worthy,im 18 now,is there a way to reverse this?im still alone and i have no family or friends,i dont know how to make friends,i want to know if its possible to fix this issue

  • Ajandre1
    Ajandre1 5 месяцев назад

    So was he trying to say loneliness makes you sleep less or more ?

  • mj
    mj 5 месяцев назад

    Dude loneliness is like cancer man. It can seriously mess you up. I have been through some long periods of excruciating, mind-numbing loneliness and it seriously has aftereffects and messes up your personality. Try not to feel lonely too often.

  • Nania Transformation coach
    Nania Transformation coach 5 месяцев назад

    Just lost my long lost childhood love to suicide due to depression and isolation. this is so very true. Thank you for speaking this. IT IS SO VITALLY IMPORTANT to have a real life trusted person in your life in real time physical space.. I so regret not going to him, calling someone when I felt him disconnect to that dark & lonely place. I will never get over this.

  • atwaterpub
    atwaterpub 5 месяцев назад

    I have no friends and no family. Nobody cares if I am dead or alive. This is my America.

  • Reality Halo
    Reality Halo 5 месяцев назад

    Am I the only 14 year old that watches these?

  • RoboticusMusic
    RoboticusMusic 5 месяцев назад +1

    Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg must be locked away forever.

  • Robert L
    Robert L 5 месяцев назад

    The majority of people will never understand how painful being truly alone is, imagine for 8 years of your life all the social situations you have been in all the people through people you met all the friends and memories you created, some of the best times in your life, then just erase that, all gone and replace it with sitting alone in your room everyday after work or school or college being confused as to why

  • Akatash
    Akatash 5 месяцев назад

    Comments here make me depressed

  • Kenny Enilef
    Kenny Enilef 6 месяцев назад

    Its crazy being depressed and alone as a teenager then seeing adults comment how they feel the same way like wow thats my future

    • Alexis Ray
      Alexis Ray 2 месяца назад

      your past does not have to equal your future Kenny. It is up to YOU. SEEK ways to reinvent yourself. If one can do it then all can, yes? Well, I did it. So you can, too. LOOK for new ideas and move forward babe. Untie those cement shoes...the laces are in your hands.

  • David Elago
    David Elago 6 месяцев назад +1

    I looked him up finding out that he’s already dead. I feel sad. :(

    • Alexis Ray
      Alexis Ray 2 месяца назад

      OH wow, I was just trying to look him up myself. Darn. WELLLL, he left one helluva legacy, didn't he? Bravooooo BraveSoul!

  • Are you 'avin a laugh? Is he 'avin a laugh?
    Are you 'avin a laugh? Is he 'avin a laugh? 6 месяцев назад

    1:39 The statement that "opposites attract" is an utter misrepresentation of what actually happens when two magnets draw toward each other.

  • jude999
    jude999 6 месяцев назад

    "It is not only sad, it is dangerous."

  • Claire Vicidomini
    Claire Vicidomini 6 месяцев назад


  • IAm Shan
    IAm Shan 6 месяцев назад

    All i want is to die, life is too hard and i can't even cry anymore.

  • Base Bass Forte
    Base Bass Forte 6 месяцев назад

    i tried to suicide last night by taking pills losta pills.... ive never had any frteinds my parrentrs got divorced... im 27 and i still havvent fiogured out my life... im a failure.... im still ali8ve... i dont know what5 to do... i just got fired at my job dammit.!... now what? ?????

  • Sutapa Bhattacharya
    Sutapa Bhattacharya 6 месяцев назад +1

    Who wants to live longer anyway?

  • SongSwan
    SongSwan 6 месяцев назад

    For those who desire an abundance of interaction and don't have it being alone is tough,for those of us who do not require constant or abundant interaction not so much,apart from being told we and our lives are lacking we do just fine.

  • mudslinger888
    mudslinger888 6 месяцев назад

    I was very social and a multi athletic dynamic type. I got a virus that results in relentless pain and neurological issues that make life miserable. I have so much left to do, buti cannot connect in person without paying a huge price. Not a depressive type yet i now consider what the point is. Yes even best friends and family fall away over years of no contact. It got much worse with my family mostly going Trump which has degraded our country in so many ways with greed dominating.

  • John Smith
    John Smith 6 месяцев назад

    if i'm not 'lonely' i'm not's lonely on the growing edge...correction: i'm most lonely 'among people who 'socialize' with each other but not 'personalize' with each other....i have lived 'alone' for 40 years and never been less lonely...people who are 'dependent' on other humans for their 'well being', are lonely people...people who can joy in their imagination, memories and such they are the old age , if you have learned to love being alone you'll joy in your ideas, activities, imaginings and , now and then , other 'humanoids'...'ideas are more important than people'....

  • Chemtrail Seventysix
    Chemtrail Seventysix 7 месяцев назад


  • Night Chidori
    Night Chidori 7 месяцев назад

    Im 19. I gave up on making friends. 😂😂😂😂😂😂🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💥💥💥💥🎾

  • Brendan Tannam
    Brendan Tannam 7 месяцев назад +1

    I first noticed a bad trait in people when I was in a religion where marriage with unbelievers was frowned upon. The unmarried were looked on as losers, and the 'losers' looked on their fellow unmarried as losers too. They did not treat each other well. As an elderly man, I see the same thing. 'All the lonely people', as the song goes, seem to think very little of each other.

  • geeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz
    geeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz 7 месяцев назад

    This is meaningful but it's getting out of the trough to start with. If anyone can arrange for me to go to Mars on a no return mission then that might perk me up. Just a thought lol.

  • Josh
    Josh 7 месяцев назад

    This is so accurate to my experiences

  • efilofnacixem efilofnacixem
    efilofnacixem efilofnacixem 8 месяцев назад

    im antisocial

  • Bruce A. Johnson
    Bruce A. Johnson 8 месяцев назад

    At this moment, all I can hear, is his droning tone of voice. That dreary resonance of sonic waves, that makes me want to kill myself.

  • a64750
    a64750 8 месяцев назад

    Flat can't be proven, only argued. There's already decades of HD video Round proof

  • Sir Sid Fosse
    Sir Sid Fosse 8 месяцев назад

    I like solitary, if I have a line of ants to watch.

  • Eloisa Schimanski
    Eloisa Schimanski 8 месяцев назад

    Muito bom. Um dos melhores que já assisti. Obrigada.

  • Mendicant Bias
    Mendicant Bias 8 месяцев назад

    Lonlieness guilde me to death free my humanity from this chain of rampancy, free me from this body.

  • Rigknot
    Rigknot 9 месяцев назад

    Which science sources are giving this strange data?
    It is very easy to lie with statistics, ask me, I did a course in stats

  • Ashique Desai
    Ashique Desai 9 месяцев назад

    This is a good subject but the talk could have been livelier.

  • Bonzo
    Bonzo 9 месяцев назад

    I would rather be lonely than abuse by a woman

  • ferrari guy
    ferrari guy 9 месяцев назад

    I would like to see a lecture on the positive aspects of being lonely. I think people with lots of "friends" are really jealous. They always need feedback where people like me just laugh inside at the world.

  • Papiringo
    Papiringo 9 месяцев назад

    Loneliness is important to self motivate, to focus and concentrate, to reflect about what matters, to stop and rethink about what's coming, meditation is the greatest benefit we can give to our brain and soul, and to enhance our spirituality to get us closer to our creator. Loneliness is a must if we want to grow up. Loneliness is the key to really appreciate companionship.

  • Bellock_Grithlus
    Bellock_Grithlus 9 месяцев назад

    this is the feeling i get when women ignore me on dating apps. so i quit. its not easy meeting people your age that you cant connect with. it can take years and lots of money

  • K. I. A
    K. I. A 9 месяцев назад

    WHOA I FIT EVERYTHING IN THAT LIST!!! I haven't spoken to a person a year now I don't go out if I really need to I hate going on the bus I'm very insecure.

  • r richards
    r richards 9 месяцев назад +1

    why are there so few viewa ? asks richard richards

  • Charlie Fox
    Charlie Fox 9 месяцев назад

    I'm in my 40s and have struggled with this for years. Never went to university and workplaces were never that conducive to forming friendships. The biggest mystery for me has always been what do you literally do to meet a good variety of people on a regular basis? Of course nowadays things like MeetUp exist, which serve a purpose (albeit mainly for other desperately lonely people) but to meet people naturally is very challenging. Generally most lonely people (myself included) want to find group activities they at least "may" enjoy. More realistically however, they will be doing the activity for the purpose of meeting people firstmand foremost, so it becomes hard to switch off the feeling of neediness and try and just enjoy the moment/activity for what it is.
    The hardest thing is being out and seeing people in groups or couples having fun and feeling like you're an outsider watching the "normal" people do their thing. I'm sure many others feel the same way. I've spent many an evening (though not really religous) asking whatever god there might be "why is this so f^*king hard? I'm intelligent, good looking, the first to approach people in group settings. Yet I feel more alone than I ever have. Would love to meet a partner but when you can't find activities to do where you even have a chance at meeting someone (or when the attempts you do make feel forced or fruitless) it's hard to just be happy and content within yourself, and therefore be an attracfive proposition as a potential partner.

  • Mary Kolk
    Mary Kolk 10 месяцев назад +1

    I loved Dr. Cacciopo's book, "Loneliness" and I was so privileged to see and hear his lecture at Baldwin Wallace University in Berea, OH a few years ago. He was an amazing man. So very sad that he passed away on March 5, 2018. What a loss to his family. What a loss to the world. Thank you Dr. Cacciopo for all your work on behalf of humanity. Rest in peace. Job very well done.

  • Big swaggy
    Big swaggy 10 месяцев назад +4

    Two things I've noticed: first off, why are 80-90% of lonely people male? Probably because we're already considered unimportant and disposable. Second, I've never understood how someone with no friends and nothing good going for him will somehow get joy from helping others when his own life remains as bad as it's always been

    • Snacksy
      Snacksy 9 месяцев назад

      Big swaggy do on to others as you would have them do onto you. Remember how he started with children and how they are supported by mother, and people think good of people who can support others. That's the logical reason helping others can help you

  • Dennis Garcia
    Dennis Garcia 10 месяцев назад +1

    It's interesting because I don't know why I am as lonely as I am. I mean I have "friends" since I've known since childhood but I've never been able to connect with anybody.

  • Bellini22
    Bellini22 10 месяцев назад +1

    we are almost 8 billion and loliness is a fcking problem...,,,

  • Melita Ray
    Melita Ray 10 месяцев назад

    It is on Maslows Hierarchy of needs too. It is one of our base needs to feel connected in order to thrive but it is being overlooked. Glad to see loneliness being addressed.

  • Fella
    Fella 10 месяцев назад

    Fun fact, he does not say the word 'want' once in this speech

  • John Archer
    John Archer 10 месяцев назад

    Give as good as you get...

  • Men Going Abroad
    Men Going Abroad 10 месяцев назад

    Stunningly good talk.

  • Lach Denan
    Lach Denan 10 месяцев назад

    The reason these problems exist is because they were made to. They are symptoms of things like (((diversity))) and the breakup of the natural family structure, natural clan structure, and yes, the breakup of normal ethnic identity. The single tribe pushing it is 100% guilty. Therapy or a "talk" is not going to remedy this problem.

  • Salvatore Escoti
    Salvatore Escoti 10 месяцев назад

    Well as a Misanthrope and Nihilist Loneliness is part of my existence.

  • This Guy
    This Guy 10 месяцев назад

    All the lonely people 🌹where do they all belong 🤝

  • Queen of Insects
    Queen of Insects 11 месяцев назад

    So where does schizoid personality disorder fall into this?

  • John Martin
    John Martin 11 месяцев назад

    Great needed necessary talk !

  • MercyJay
    MercyJay 11 месяцев назад

    Due to so much hurt, repeatedly getting disappointed has pushed me to this state and I aam struggling so hard to come out of it. Its very hard!

  • Will Jones
    Will Jones 11 месяцев назад

    I understand all of these chemical reactions in the brain and im going to figure out a way to use all of these effects on my success.

  • Supa 4ys
    Supa 4ys 11 месяцев назад

    Some people can handle being alone while others can't. One's greatness can be achieved through a wake of absence.

  • Lucille s
    Lucille s 11 месяцев назад

    Public is toxic environment.

  • Lucille s
    Lucille s 11 месяцев назад

    Doctor you’re going towards the LSI. Please have interest in figuring this out doctor.

  • Lucille s
    Lucille s 11 месяцев назад

    Hello... limbic system injury here. Killing me

  • Lucille s
    Lucille s 11 месяцев назад

    I’d rather be alone than lonely.

  • Colleen Jennings
    Colleen Jennings 11 месяцев назад

    Just left a 25 year marriage to a cerebral narcissist and the loneliness and fear of each day took it's toll on me. Fortunately I suffered there for about 5 years before getting the divorce so I'm not hungry for attention but still recognize I need to go about establishing solid relationships and it's OK for me to want to be in a marriage again after being lonely for so long

  • Ricky Jaime
    Ricky Jaime 11 месяцев назад

    This is bullocks. Having a one person household does not mean there is no social life. The average person has a social life within the realms of their work life. The dangers of being unsocialized come from childhood development where children are supposed to learn to play. Even with social media and online gaming you can find a group of people you relate to. Many philosophers promoted the ability to be alone. A sense of communal values is good, but so is the ability to stay calm when everybody else is frantic during an emergency.

  • Brandon Bayer
    Brandon Bayer 11 месяцев назад

    Im terrible at making friends in real life. If anyone likes playing Xbox hit me up, we can play Overwatch or Fortnite just add me

  • Jose Antonio
    Jose Antonio 11 месяцев назад

    what this talks ignores and is evident in comments below is that the competition is as fierce in-species as it is against other species and the environment, men is the wolf of men, groups that are physically stronger attack and submit or even kill weaker ones withing the same species something we are seeing right now in Europe. Simple things like having different tastes could lead to alienation and even violence, wake up, this world is cruel and wicked, the nature of human is despicable and we all deserve death.

  • Jose Antonio
    Jose Antonio 11 месяцев назад

    I rather be alone than surronded by my enemies, both arent very good but one is definitely better.

  • Fredrick Bower
    Fredrick Bower 11 месяцев назад

    What does skype mean ????

    • Fredrick Bower
      Fredrick Bower 11 месяцев назад

      Im not understanding skype what does that mean

  • leeoh moon
    leeoh moon 11 месяцев назад +2

    Catholic hermits lived in seclusions all their life, in poverty and against elements and you won`t find happier people..why??? because they had God and they had faith and hope, and why today's society reject Christianity so vigorously? Why reject something that can be a source of great LIGHT in your life. it gives you a loving father who loves you no matter what, and the entire heaven of `friends` that support you on this earthly journey. you wait for the end (death) and cannot wait to see the other side but the bible also teaches you to appreciate and be happy with small things in life. So both death and life are attractive to me. It is my life.and I am happy. I have worse days, I`ve been through more than the average person, I got so much jealousy from people that you can`t even imagine. and so what???, nothing that I cant handle because I have God and faith and hope:) What`s more..I`ve always liked being alone while people always wanted to be friends with me, maybe because I felt and still feel good and happy with myself, others feel this positivity deep inside and are drawn to it.

  • rosely covali
    rosely covali 11 месяцев назад

    After I chose a more retired lifestyle I am happy as I never dreamed to be.

  • V 13
    V 13 Год назад

    This is fantastic!!

  • Jen K
    Jen K Год назад

    Welp....I'm screwed.

  • Cory Resilient
    Cory Resilient Год назад

    I used to be really popular had lots of friends it made me who I am I'm ment to be apart of people's lives I agree being alone can be good for you and is needed but.. 5-6 years later fully icolated no friends not being a crucial peace to anyone's puzzle I'm a rapper a motivational speaker It's against my nature to be alone I've found after 5-6 years later it's become very unhealthy being alone and I'm having alot of mental instability. Suicidal feelings thoughts void emptyness it's honestly made me phissically and mentally sick.. there were many times I needed to be alone but not every day for 5-6 years after being someone people liked and needed. Being alone is crucial but it's unhealthy to be alone for to long it's not good to think to much or over think. You need to find balance .. now being alone is a sickness and we were all ment to be with eachother or we wouldn't be here together in the first place.

  • Sezja Maelstrom
    Sezja Maelstrom Год назад

    If you are alone and feel hopeless, you may have a rare personality type. I would suggest taking the MBTI personality test (there are free ones too) and find Facebook groups that share your same type. Trust me, it helps to find others like you, who have the same thoughts, feelings, and values. Remember even if you feel like a different species, you are not alone, and you never will be alone. There are others.
    16 Personalities is one of the free tests much like the MBTI.