Stop Sabotaging Yourself | Debi Silber | TEDxFultonStreet

  • Published on Nov 11, 2015
  • Leading health, mindset and lifestyle coach shares insights about how we become liberated when the pain of where we are exceeds the fear of the unknown. She discusses how we get in the way of our own efforts to improve our health, careers, romances, and other priorities - and shows how adopting a childlike openness can start the virtuous cycle of improvement.
    Debi Silber MS, RD, WHC, FDN, CEO of Lifestyle Fitness, Inc. and founder of is a recognized health, mindset and personal development expert. She’s a speaker, consultant and author of the Amazon #1 bestselling book: The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life Crisis, as well as 2 other books recommended by Brian Tracy, Marshall Goldsmith, Jack Canfield and many more. Debi's led countless others to achieve their ultimate body, mind, image and lifestyle; inspiring them to transform into their personal and professional best.

    In addition to being a highly credentialed and awarded health expert, Debi has her own line of deliciously healthy nutrition bars and shakes, has also contributed to FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz show, The Huffington Post, Shape, Self, Health, Working Mother, Forbes, Psychology Today, WebMD, Yahoo Shine, Ladies Home Journal, MSN, Woman's World and Glamour to name a few. She regularly speaks at association meetings, corporate events, conferences, Universities and women’s leadership retreats, offering simple solutions that create lasting change physically, emotionally and psychologically.

    Debi Silber is THE secret behind some of the healthiest, most influential, charismatic and successful professionals today.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Comments • 291

  • Drew Hurst
    Drew Hurst 3 days ago

    Great to see a fitness instructor who is not onIy ripped but woke too 👍

  • Silvia Hoffmann
    Silvia Hoffmann 23 days ago

    This is good

  • thomas staerke
    thomas staerke 25 days ago

    Wow, Going to watch this tomorrow , the day after ... & so on

  • MissVasques
    MissVasques Month ago

    I do sabotage my weight loss and healthier living in fear of the last tome I lost weight and stayed slim for a couple of years. Self dicipline, meaning a tad of self hate and lots of guiltripping and having spats of eating unhealthy then really strict to ”bounce” back.
    I guess I fear the only way to be slim is to feel guilty and deprived all the time.

  • Manish Kumar
    Manish Kumar Month ago

    One of the best Tedx Talks I have ever listened to, especially when I needed it.

  • Rob Ot
    Rob Ot Month ago

    There is you, and then there's the universe. Who do you want to be? 😸

  • b -
    b - Month ago

    Beautiful talk.

  • Ivan 1985
    Ivan 1985 Month ago

    Self-deprecation is underrated. It makes you humble and oftentimes gives you a sense of humor. Most of the time, people who put themselves down deserve it.

  • Endy M
    Endy M Month ago


  • Zach Hammill
    Zach Hammill Month ago

    “What people resist is not change per se, but loss.” -Ronald Heifetz

  • Kimberly White
    Kimberly White Month ago

    Those arms tho'... Great message!

  • CJ Beltran
    CJ Beltran Month ago +3

    Who else kept looking at her arms? 😭 I got distracted.

  • george howell iii
    george howell iii Month ago

    Great video!!

  • Borrow919
    Borrow919 Month ago

    The common denominator... lack of selfishness... Yes, I know I know.. selfishness is bad... or is it?

  • Sarah K
    Sarah K Month ago

    It’s all just talk if there aren’t any step by step instructions 😕

  • Tulip Blossom
    Tulip Blossom Month ago

    Excellent!! She's very good!

  • Kami F
    Kami F Month ago +2

    Great talk! Your arms proving you have been working hard, you know what you talk about... great job! Thanks for sharing.

  • New Level Mindset
    New Level Mindset 2 months ago

    This is on point for me

  • Diya K
    Diya K 2 months ago

    What an incredible speaker! Top marks!

  • Niharika N Achar
    Niharika N Achar 2 months ago +1

    Right Video!! At the Right Time!!!
    Absolutely Inspiring ❤

  • Kaque Burlington
    Kaque Burlington 2 months ago

    Great video

  • Carisa Dias
    Carisa Dias 2 months ago +1

    Exactly what i needed to hear!!! this talk was worth every second. Thank You

  • dulpurp
    dulpurp 2 months ago

    Seriously.... "stop sabotaging yourself" starts with the sad story of a CEO, top in her field? Um.... that person isn't sabotaging themselves. Any problem she is having after being at that level is nothing compared to the person who can't put together enough gainful employment to pay the rent. Oh, did she wake up feeling empty? Not as empty as my gas tank.... do I pay for groceries or fill up the tank or go further into debt? These are real problems. Maybe it's just that the only people who watch Ted talks are privileged superstars who just want to learn and have a little bit more? I digress....

  • KK Akuoku
    KK Akuoku 3 months ago

    I honestly do not trust people who armchair diagnose people who don’t do anything with their life because of deep seated subconscious programming as ‘lazy’.

  • Frank Christopher
    Frank Christopher 3 months ago +135

    And God said “Love your enemy!”, and I obeyed him and loved myself.
    - Khalil Gibran

    • Drew Hurst
      Drew Hurst 3 days ago

      I've never heard that before...
      but I like it 😛

    • K P
      K P Month ago +1


    • patricia hetherington
      patricia hetherington 3 months ago +1

      Frank Christopher 🙏🏻♥️

  • C Raman
    C Raman 3 months ago

    Oh my my....exactly what I have been feeling....guys please pray for me

  • Kaitlynne
    Kaitlynne 4 months ago

    i do this. i know i do. but im too tired and depressed to do anything about it

    oh well

    • patricia hetherington
      patricia hetherington 3 months ago

      Avangeline Smith noooo! Can you get to a functional nutritionist or naturopathic MEDICAL DOCTOR ( emphasized for Dr,). Ask for in depth lab work, mine was shocking! Like no serotonin levels detected among other key nutrients. And I eat pretty healthy, exercise ( I’m a trainer too btw) and take highly absorbable, clean supplements. Don’t give up, hit me up.

  • kaka cech
    kaka cech 4 months ago

    The the the the the
    THE best TedTalk I have ever heard in my entire life!
    Woman, you are amazing

  • Big Daddy
    Big Daddy 5 months ago

    Thank you for this! I have been feeling pretty numb lately and I am ready to snap out of it, make stronger decisions and move on. I actually believe I may have outgrown my friends, because most of the stuff they like now really doesn't appeal to me. I need a stronger, exhilarating challenge for me to come out of my own self-doubt and max out my self-esteem and I am looking for it.

  • Israel Gawiseb
    Israel Gawiseb 5 months ago

    I needed to hear this.

  • Tara Wagner
    Tara Wagner 5 months ago

    So much helpful insight! Couldn't have said it anyyyy better myself!

  • Diego Flores
    Diego Flores 6 months ago

    Can't concentrate looking at them arms

  • Zahid H Khan
    Zahid H Khan 6 months ago


  • 植树人工作室
    植树人工作室 6 months ago +1

    Ture hero isn't measured by the size of strength, but by the strength of hurt.

  • Paul
    Paul 6 months ago

    You’re ridiculous!

  • Jane Stoller
    Jane Stoller 6 months ago

    You explain this video really well.

  • NotSoRoyal Academy
    NotSoRoyal Academy 7 months ago

    man those biceps are hawt

  • shalini gupta
    shalini gupta 7 months ago

    I loved it . Thanks for this videos.

  • KayLa
    KayLa 7 months ago

    Thank you.

  • Emily Stanzione
    Emily Stanzione 7 months ago

    Thank you for this! I needed it

  • Jeffy
    Jeffy 7 months ago

    Cool story bro🤮

  • EИK3.
    EИK3. 8 months ago

    I didnt hear anything I dont already know sorry

  • Donna Woodford
    Donna Woodford 8 months ago

    If you want to get to second base, you need to let your foot off first base. We're in the age of transformation. So, take a deep breath and go for it...if it is moral, ethical, and right action.

  • Alexinatree
    Alexinatree 8 months ago

    So I'm at the stage where I know I've got to change but the thing I have to change is depression and forming good habits and persevering through the discomfort of it is so overwhelming that I just go back to my old habits.. not sure how to find the motivation that's necessary for change. Advice would be appreciated!

  • Addison Tharpe
    Addison Tharpe 9 months ago +1

    The title doesn’t do the video justice. This is the way I feel. This what my summer has been about.

  • Bob Abooey
    Bob Abooey 9 months ago

    Danger a Yenta that works out

  • celestial force
    celestial force 9 months ago

    Amazing talk!!!!

  • Nathan Ramos
    Nathan Ramos 10 months ago

    "The risks are great but the rewards are even better" awesome quote from an amazing speaker

  • bimal dhamala
    bimal dhamala 10 months ago

    everyday million of our body cells are changing, that doesn't mean they are dying, BUT actually they are growing and destroying the damaged one....Our body knows we need change, But our mind says if i could i would have stopped that change also... so listen to your gut not your fear look for the changes, guys!!!

  • Sabrina Martino
    Sabrina Martino 10 months ago +1

    This video is grossly unviewed and underrated! Thank you for making me feel powerful and confident!

  • Mike Johnson
    Mike Johnson 11 months ago

    nothing new here

  • Rohit Goswami
    Rohit Goswami 11 months ago

    Sorry for waiting

  • mary evans
    mary evans Year ago

    life is about suffering for the most part. just because you feel UNCOMFORTABLE doesn't mean you should quit. we don't call it the ME generation for nothing.

  • monster jesse
    monster jesse Year ago

    she is 100% on point

  • Jasmine Gilles
    Jasmine Gilles Year ago

    Letting go!

  • Krystal Artis
    Krystal Artis Year ago

    Brilliant talk

  • Edgar Agustin
    Edgar Agustin Year ago +1

    People like you do more damage than you will ever know. You make people fall into a situation that compares to a dog chasing its tail it's pointless. Without the right tools and education people like you create motivated idiots they're still idiots. Women leave their families. Man quit their jobs and end up in weird places . Worst of all people like you Get Paid stop destroying people's lives

  • Bryan Williams
    Bryan Williams Year ago

    Powerful I pray we stop doing this

  • Bryan Williams
    Bryan Williams Year ago


  • johnnni76
    johnnni76 Year ago +1

    Okay you recognized what self sabotaging is! Bravo! Where are the methods to stop these thoughts!
    I don’t understand why people post things with no answers! It’s like saying stop smoking because it cancerous, bad for your teeth, bad for your health! News flash they know it’s bad for them but they still smoke! That’s not an answer!
    An answer would be mediate or whatever! But in order to be up there at a ted talk, please use answers to the questions

  • super reaction
    super reaction Year ago

    Iove tHis speech

    SLY SPY Year ago

    That's me at 4;45 HELP

  • Grey Grey
    Grey Grey Year ago


  • Ísis R.
    Ísis R. Year ago

    The second woman should have cut her husband too if she do all of that and he just sits there and watch tv

  • abulahb
    abulahb Year ago

    Very inspiring and God damn the legs on her !

  • Unburried Talents

    "Swing anyway". I love that because that's pretty much how it goes. That won't look the same for everybody but it is a solution to self-sabotage -- maybe that's why she wasn't specific. I think she's putting us in the mindset to recognize the opportunity to take a leap of faith so that moment is familiar and we will actually do it and not second guess it because it's uncomfortable.

  • LifeFromMyProspective

    Change is exactly what I'm facing, currently in my life. I sabotaged myself so much in the past that I just can't do it anymore.
    "Headed to the top so, that I can get a better view".

  • Batcavesales Batman

    I am having health problems - panic attacks , ulcers etc . I’m stuck between the ocean and the rocks . Time to sink or swim

  • tasha IsLosingWeight
    tasha IsLosingWeight Year ago +49

    This is sooo much.. for years and years and years I have self sabatoged..... even walked to the edge, ready to jump, but i didnt... it took my bestfriend dying last year, for me to jump. i am filled with guilt, and regret, and fear.. but I jumped .. and im jumping.. pray for me please.. I have a l ot of weight to get off ... but im going to do it...

  • AnimusFlux
    AnimusFlux Year ago


  • T sich
    T sich Year ago +1

    This really spoke to me!!!! Great Ted Talk!

  • Daria Haikov Kramskiy

    Great TED talk, informative, interesting, straight to the point. Not like 20 min “me,me, me, look at me!” ones.

  • Konscious Kreations
    Konscious Kreations Year ago +1

    Awesome Ted Talk! ❤❤❤

  • Willy Price
    Willy Price Year ago +1

    Excellent work

  • Kendra T
    Kendra T Year ago +2

    Wow this came at the perfect time for me. Thank you

  • Anon
    Anon Year ago

    I just love her high pitched voice! It always brightens my day to listen to her voice in this clip every day! "(in high pitch) You feel like rock star!"

  • Sylvia Remington
    Sylvia Remington Year ago +1

    Thank you for this. Awesome.

  • MIchelle Ospina
    MIchelle Ospina Year ago +1

    Wish this was the truth! Most ppl don’t self sabbatoge on the verge of success.

  • The Cowboy
    The Cowboy Year ago +75

    I think the reason why life has become so complicated, is because of how fast paced everything has become.
    With everything is fast paced, people can't slow down and think. They can't slow down and evaluate.

  • Sabine Fonderson
    Sabine Fonderson Year ago +7

    I agree that by stopping doing things that are good for your mind and body you go back into the world of sabotage
    I used to go to the gym, eat healthy and since I stopped I can pinpoint the day that it made me lose focus in myself, my work and my reality
    I’m saying everyday I will go back to the gym and eat healthy again...

  • Videos silva
    Videos silva Year ago +1


  • Debbie Willey
    Debbie Willey Year ago +7

    Bingo! Wish I had heard this 30-40 years ago. Great information.

  • Dayna McMullan
    Dayna McMullan Year ago +3

    This TALK spoke to every situation in my life now. I need to kick sabotage to the curb! Thank you. I’m going to order your book today too. Losing my remote control was the jumpstart from just surviving to thriving.

  • Jayson T
    Jayson T Year ago +1

    Excellent speaker.

  • Jayson T
    Jayson T Year ago +1

    She's pretty

  • Katrina Sawa
    Katrina Sawa Year ago +2

    Debi Silber knows her stuff, I've known her for a long time... I highly recommend you follow her if any of this resonates with you. Great talk Debi!

  • Goat Rider
    Goat Rider Year ago +1

    Thanks for the post! I feel the change i want for long time! Just need to brake thru!

  • David Brown
    David Brown Year ago +1

    Ive tried to self destruct to the point of intentional death. All i was thinking about. Because i never released shame or guilt about past experiences and grief. I never have noticed my value until recently. I am 21 and was on my way to falling by my own hands. With drugs and alcohol. I have committed myself to a more positive aspects of life recently. Cause i realized i can make a change from the inside. Many trials ive had to face. And im still traumatized. I need to go free myself from this destructive behavior. Cause im breaking my own heart and also others :(

    • Debi Silber
      Debi Silber Year ago

      David-please get the support you need. You're a beautiful soul meant to learn and heal from your experiences.

  • laroo56
    laroo56 Year ago +4

    Four TTalks in a row, and this was the only one that I really responded to. Wish it was more.

  • Eileen MacDougall
    Eileen MacDougall Year ago +2

    This is nice, thank-you.

  • T Washpee
    T Washpee Year ago +15

    I totally agree. Like when my ex friends would make fun of me for reading self help books...I knew I had to cut em off, before i self sabotage to thinking developing myself was lame. I am lonely 😂😂😂 totally worth it! Damn! Her arms are ripped AF

    • Debi Silber
      Debi Silber Year ago +1

      Hi T, I know it's hard to outgrow friends but I'm sure you're seeing that while it's challenging, you're allowing new, like-minded inspiring friends to flow in. Good for you!

  • Scott Klemp
    Scott Klemp Year ago

    Shut up, Ted Bundy!

  • Gilmara das Neves Silva

    Truly inspiring!

  • Kenedy Fish
    Kenedy Fish Year ago +1


  • Brett Pulley
    Brett Pulley Year ago +1

    Too much fluff, get to the point woman.

  • Tanya Medukha
    Tanya Medukha Year ago +1

    Truly an idea worth spreading. Her level of clarity and understanding of the world is incredible.

  • rachel oh
    rachel oh Year ago +2

    this should be getting more views

  • rollership
    rollership Year ago +1

    i needed this

  • Deb Menard
    Deb Menard Year ago +1

    Excellent public speaker & message, thank you Debi!

  • vajs siti
    vajs siti Year ago +1

    She gets it