The person you really need to marry | Tracy McMillan | TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen

  • Опубликовано: 7 фев 2014
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    Tracy McMillan is a television writer (Mad Men, United States of Tara) and relationship author who wrote the book Why You're Not Married...Yet, based on her viral 2011 Huffington Post blog. She also appeared as a dating coach on the NBC reality show Ready For Love. She lives in Los Angeles and is the mother of a 16-year-old guy.
    In her TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen talk, McMillan answers the question: "Who is the one person you need to marry in order to have a successful relationship? (Yourself)"
    About TEDx, x = independently organized event
    In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Комментарии • 7 195

  • Shinobi Millz
    Shinobi Millz Час назад

    Moral of the story is, women never know what they want from a guy

  • Eunod Oni
    Eunod Oni 2 часа назад

    I should actually get on tedx and talk about relationships. I can definitely do better than these ones talking. Infact i have done better.

  • future youths
    future youths 12 часов назад +1

    I like her hair without reason

  • Christine Escajeda
    Christine Escajeda День назад

    Just got out of a 35 year relationship I'm not ready for a new relationship I'm okay someday when I fall in love and i see he feels the same i will fall in love for ever

  • Chris Bacus
    Chris Bacus День назад +1

    'Love' is the most insidious lie sold that emotionally abuses and financially rapes men.

  • SunKissNicole
    SunKissNicole День назад +1

    Wow. Didnt know it was going to take this turn but I promise you, this was needed for me. I'm an adoptee and always felt like I needed a relationship to feel LOVE! I never had it authentically.
    This was spot on I need to love myself and marry myself. My goodness thank you!

  • Tehani White
    Tehani White День назад


  • Leonardo Cheung
    Leonardo Cheung День назад

    when you love someone, when you are dating someone you love, you should also focus on how you feel when you are with him!!! thank you so much for giving such a wonderful wonderful speech!!!

  • Benjamin Cochran
    Benjamin Cochran 3 дня назад


  • Dan Willison
    Dan Willison 3 дня назад +1

    seems like after the third divorce the problem might be with you, no?

  • Smriti charu
    Smriti charu 3 дня назад

    Best thing till date 💝💝

  • Dom
    Dom 4 дня назад

    so many people get into a relationship for wrong reasons, and then jealousy and possessiveness emerge
    it's a red flag when someone says "i'd feel incomplete without my partner" or "i want a partner to complete me". do not get into a relationship with such people, just run, let them figure out themselves, let them develop a relationship with themselves first

  • Giorge Leedy
    Giorge Leedy 5 дней назад +1

    Awesome! You are awesome! 😍

  • Ms Wonderfulgem
    Ms Wonderfulgem 5 дней назад

    She's right. The only person that is in control of your life is you. Face your strengths and challenges and evolve.

  • Dr. C
    Dr. C 6 дней назад

    What a motivational speech...

    for self centered loners and losers...

  • Harriet
    Harriet 6 дней назад


  • Kare Bear
    Kare Bear 6 дней назад

    Wow...Caucasian version of Wendy Williams😃

  • Clementine La Personne
    Clementine La Personne 6 дней назад

    she's great

  • Śūn yatā
    Śūn yatā 6 дней назад

    That's so basic .......

  • Karla Ordaz
    Karla Ordaz 6 дней назад

    40 what? 😱 she looks so young 😍😍

  • Anna Liza Lazo
    Anna Liza Lazo 6 дней назад

    I Love How She talks about it, Loving Yourself is really worth it. We don’t really need a man to make us whole..... We Are Whole Because God Loves Us More Than We Love Ourselves.....

  • #Savage Movement
    #Savage Movement 7 дней назад

    She lacked Christ

  • palss 115
    palss 115 7 дней назад


  • Aditi Paul
    Aditi Paul 7 дней назад

    This is the most amazing talk I've heard. Inexplicable 😊😊😊😊😊😊

  • Leena Khalid
    Leena Khalid 7 дней назад

    i like how funny she is 😍💕

  • Joyce Brower
    Joyce Brower 7 дней назад

    Such a good talk! I loved what you said. Great info!
    Thank you for she sharing yourself with us.

  • Fatoumata Bah
    Fatoumata Bah 7 дней назад

    I love her laugh.

  • mariachi mariachi
    mariachi mariachi 7 дней назад


  • Zillow Photography
    Zillow Photography 8 дней назад +1

    I watched this for insight on actual relationships. Marry myself? Sounds silly. On one knee I'd have to say "No one will ever love me as much as I will. I won't ever leave matter what...because even if I wanted would be impossible." Omg. I just realized what suicide actually is!

  • L Torres
    L Torres 8 дней назад

    Thank you very much Tracy ♡

  • Aircraft Mechanic
    Aircraft Mechanic 8 дней назад

    Wow I love those curls and about the speech I have never though about it that way

  • Giada Lebani
    Giada Lebani 8 дней назад

    brave, you are quite brave to be so brutally honest. We are whole already, you are right

  • Thierno Bah
    Thierno Bah 8 дней назад +1

    If I had you, I will never let you go, you're so gorgeous 💖

  • Spirit Miracle
    Spirit Miracle 8 дней назад


  • its_a_trab
    its_a_trab 9 дней назад +1

    I dont agree. You dont have to be perfect to have a good relationship. Yes you need to love yourself but if your relationship is good you complete each other. Thats what it means to love each other. Unconditionally

  • angel 123
    angel 123 9 дней назад +1

    She had troubled family thats why disturbed marriages

  • catherin77
    catherin77 10 дней назад

    Her last words "I'll never leave you" made me cry :')

  • Iba Khriam
    Iba Khriam 10 дней назад

    Yeah!!! We all need to be true to ourself first in order to show gud to others ☺️

  • David Ashworth
    David Ashworth 10 дней назад

    anyone think "love your neighbor AS YOURSELF" was any less relevant today?

  • Unus Shahid
    Unus Shahid 10 дней назад

    I want to marry myself but i dont have a vigina :(

  • Phyllis
    Phyllis 10 дней назад

    The theme of this ted talk is all of the lyrics to “thank u, next”’

  • loredelamor
    loredelamor 10 дней назад

    Never get married men! IT'S A TRAP! MGTOW

  • Jeanette L
    Jeanette L 11 дней назад

    What an amazing message, thank you for sharing xx

  • JoyKronicles
    JoyKronicles 11 дней назад

    Seriously. So perfect.

  • shook thang
    shook thang 11 дней назад

    I guess I have been unknowingly, obsessively married to myself 😂 36 and never been married. I always put my feelings first, if I'm not happy I always walk away from someone.

  • Miesha Ahseim
    Miesha Ahseim 11 дней назад


  • Bob Marshall
    Bob Marshall 11 дней назад

    Why does anybody want to get 'married' in modern times? Such a silly, quaint, pointless thing to do!

  • Patrick Shrma
    Patrick Shrma 12 дней назад +1

    Love yourself. But also have the traits (sacrifice, compromise) to love someone else. That makes a complete person.
    Women of today are horrible. They miss these traits . Men have been scholars and highly educated and in high paying jobs from ages. We never behaved like pigs (most of us).
    But woman, As soon as she gets a degree or gets a job something, her attitude changes. She thinks she can cheat, she can treat men like puppets.
    Bloody feminism concepts.
    Marriages are failing.

  • Jasmina Sugic
    Jasmina Sugic 13 дней назад

    When we finally except our own personality, when we're ok with who we are, is probably the perfect time to love another living being, with no wanity. We cannnot heel our holes with another people, even with our own children, lover, true friends, late husbands, unless we've allready done to ourself.
    It's like Jane Fonda once said: "We are not made to be perfect, we are made to be WHOLE." So true!

  • Mona Shaikh
    Mona Shaikh 13 дней назад

    Where is she meeting all these men? Spill the beans on that too. Great video!

  • FuckenYesie
    FuckenYesie 13 дней назад

    I cried when she said she told herself “I’ll never leave you” 😭

  • do nguyen le ho
    do nguyen le ho 14 дней назад +1


  • Danreael
    Danreael 14 дней назад


  • Kory Tideman
    Kory Tideman 15 дней назад

    Jesus quoted Moses. "You must love your neighbor as yourself" - good interactions with others means loving yourself first.

  • Debojit Das
    Debojit Das 15 дней назад


  • biba mariana
    biba mariana 15 дней назад

    i like her 😂

  • Shiftedcontrol
    Shiftedcontrol 16 дней назад

    I'm surprised that the title of this isn't a meme.

  • Mohameth Kane
    Mohameth Kane 16 дней назад

    Always try to be happy alone. Never rely on others in order to live a happy life.

  • Julia Sanchez
    Julia Sanchez 17 дней назад

    I loved her! She was so funny and smart! Thank you!

  • blessedarethebroken
    blessedarethebroken 17 дней назад


  • Leah Brooke
    Leah Brooke 18 дней назад +1

    Wow I actually cried watching this.

  • BPD Balance
    BPD Balance 18 дней назад +1

    One of my favorites

  • pain grows me
    pain grows me 18 дней назад +1

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.
    This is very inspiring and life changing content. I finally realize that if I don't coltivate an amazing relationship with myself i can't have any great relationship in life.

  • Alex Sulay
    Alex Sulay 18 дней назад +1

    Best thing I have seen today

  • Silas Ajushi
    Silas Ajushi 18 дней назад +1

    For those who find fornication to not be a viable option,
    the solution for having intimate affectionate relationship, is a marriage between a wife who is submissive and nurturing to her husband and the husband loves and honors his wife.

  • Madhusmita Das
    Madhusmita Das 20 дней назад +1

    She is so strong and confident woman with grace ❤️

  • koray elibol
    koray elibol 20 дней назад +1

    Biz insan değil miyiz türk çe çe iri

  • Magz Sara
    Magz Sara 21 день назад +1

    The only thing that teaches is life experience...

  • Anon Nymous
    Anon Nymous 21 день назад +1

    i'm married to my vibrator. 3x a day on weekends. 1x -2 x a day on most weekdays.

  • Lisa Faithful
    Lisa Faithful 22 дня назад +1

    Beautiful tedtalk! what you’ve gone n grown thru is what so many of us have, so tnx for sharing the story of so many of us! 🙏🏻

  • futilitariano
    futilitariano 22 дня назад +2

    Perhaps women can relate to the concept of marrying one's self more than men. To me, it's creepy.

  • Maggie Mbugua
    Maggie Mbugua 22 дня назад +1

    Am still working on myself to get to this level. It's encouraging when you hear people who are already there. Fly high butterfly

  • Jada Alexus
    Jada Alexus 22 дня назад +1

    omg, this is phenomenal I have always thought about going on dates by myself but,I was extremely hesitant. I always sought out a gym partner and somedays didn't go to the gym without one although, I have got one step to closer to marrying myself by finally arriving to the gym alone. You do need to be absolutely content with yourself. I think from my failed relationships with guys and friends I have grown a sense of knowing what my energy accepts and does not accept and in doing so the little things like enjoying your own company really brings you along way!

  • m
    m 23 дня назад +1

    Thank you so much for sharing your personal experiences. You have a lot of wisdom. I am separated & raising my child - the best gift from my marriage. You are so right! Each person must marry themselves, be whole & enjoy being authentic before marriage or any long term relationship. God Bless you :)

  • Elsiebehaviorist Hagan
    Elsiebehaviorist Hagan 23 дня назад +1

    Beautiful piece. Love yourself exactly where and how you are.😊🤗

  • duda
    duda 23 дня назад +1

    kkkkk adorei

  • Bipin Kumar Mehta
    Bipin Kumar Mehta 23 дня назад +1

    The place where I live, people never divorce, almost all marriages in my locality turn out to be successful until death.

  • Gaming with Sharanya
    Gaming with Sharanya 24 дня назад +1

    This is so powerful...!!!
    This was much needed... :)

  • Farheen Khatun
    Farheen Khatun 24 дня назад

    Love her hair style ❤️

  • Tarah Le
    Tarah Le 24 дня назад +1

    thanks, her story is really interesting.

  • Kenya Montgomery
    Kenya Montgomery 26 дней назад +1

    Wow powerful

  • Raul Navarrette
    Raul Navarrette 26 дней назад +1

    Your sick!!

  • little biffy
    little biffy 26 дней назад +1

    Love you hair and you.

  • Pow3rGaming
    Pow3rGaming 26 дней назад +5

    Marriage makes the most sense in Christian context. Only broken people take it out of contact and talk about marrying themselves. Everything she said is what you're supposed to do with the person you marry. Just because you marry someone in the wrong context doesn't make it right to pretend you should keep going down this path and then give TED talks about marrying yourself.
    Our society would have less than half the problems that we are experiencing these days if people didn't vilify Christianity and parents did their job teaching children about God.

  • Lin Benzo
    Lin Benzo 26 дней назад +1

    That was very nice

  • Marla Star
    Marla Star 27 дней назад +1

    this was so powerful and I totally can relate....In more ways than I can say. Thank You. I know for sure your are helping many people, women and men. When you have a very hard childhood its so hard to get your center, even find your center, but when things start to fall into place within... things change without.

  • salinastraightedge
    salinastraightedge 27 дней назад +1

    "Love yourself the way you want someone else to love you."
    That really resonated with me.

  • Silverbell Love Yourself
    Silverbell Love Yourself 28 дней назад +1

    I love this ❤

  • Chris Daley
    Chris Daley 28 дней назад +1

    You don't have to make an impression. Just feel the joy of self.

  • Zanah Taha
    Zanah Taha 28 дней назад +1

    The fact that shes 50 and still hoping for something better is so amazing and sad at the same time. This talk was amazing and im crying wtf.

  • Paul Hogue
    Paul Hogue 28 дней назад

    Basically get into yourself and fix you first in order to love someone else.

  • The Light
    The Light 29 дней назад

    Who stopped watching at 2:41

  • J SD
    J SD 29 дней назад +1

    don't take diving advice from someone with a front lawn full of wrecked cars...TED talks used to be real scientists with deep insights, not pop psychology idiots

  • brennanfl
    brennanfl 29 дней назад

    If you enter into a relationship to be Happy, you will fail. Only you can make yourself happy. Most relationships fail because people say “I wasn’t Happy”. Its’ not the job of your spouse to make you happy, that’s your job.

  • cherryonasundae
    cherryonasundae Месяц назад

    That last line made me cry

  • ly24
    ly24 Месяц назад


  • Dileta Kumetyte
    Dileta Kumetyte Месяц назад

    I personally think.... She needs help!!!! I am hearing v sad person talking... Trying to fight against her sadness. She is doing well I hope all will be ok.

  • Hasmik Melikyan
    Hasmik Melikyan Месяц назад

    What she's saying sounds sooooooooooooo simple: to be in harmony w/yourself. But it's soooooooooooo hard to fulfill in a real life! A great talk, indeed! Thanx a lot!

  • god see's everything OMG what??
    god see's everything OMG what?? Месяц назад

    Not know boby that's controlling ""

  • johnny deep
    johnny deep Месяц назад

    LOL the woman who has not 1, not 2, but THREE divorces is giving marriage and relationship advice?? To quote her in her words, "and what that is suppose to mean is that I'm a total failure at relationships," yuuuup thats it. Youre done cupcake. Get off the stage. Also, saying its because she fell in love with the wrong people, or she didn't love her self, it doesn't take away from the fact that she is a total failure at relationships. Whether it's her own personal relationship with herself, intimate relationships, or platonic relationships; it doesn't matter. I almost feel sorry for the poor sap who is spending money and time on her now, but then again women will always find some stooge to exploit. I could write a 10 page essay on why this woman is that last person ANY of you should be taking relationship advice from.