The person you really need to marry | Tracy McMillan | TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen

  • Опубликовано: 7 фев 2014
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    Tracy McMillan is a television writer (Mad Men, United States of Tara) and relationship author who wrote the book Why You're Not Married...Yet, based on her viral 2011 Huffington Post blog. She also appeared as a dating coach on the NBC reality show Ready For Love. She lives in Los Angeles and is the mother of a 16-year-old guy.
    In her TEDxOlympicBlvdWomen talk, McMillan answers the question: "Who is the one person you need to marry in order to have a successful relationship? (Yourself)"
    About TEDx, x = independently organized event
    In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Комментарии • 7 484

  • Kristy Lee
    Kristy Lee 3 часа назад

    How is she 48?!?!

  • Omi Spirit
    Omi Spirit 8 часов назад

    Took her three divorces to figure that out? Grass is always green on the other side ? that is the simple problem. not to appreciate what you have. This is what is leading to broken families breakdown of society. This is good she is realizing what the issues are coming from and she went to these people for a sense of belonging. Hopefully God is with her now and hopefully she is not in just an emotional upheaval. Marriage is a life commitment so needs to be taken more seriously. Hopefully when she has kids she can pass on the connection of spirit in a marriage. She does focus alot on self but to transcend you must get past the stage of self and elevate to the others. This does mean peace within self but this needs to go to second step which is others but the "Self" does need to be conquered fist without just getting stuck in "SELF" as family means US not SELF anymore. ITs like grade one before grade 2. Bless her !

  • Lorena Trujillo
    Lorena Trujillo 16 часов назад

    Thank you.... 💐

  • Azalea Meruno
    Azalea Meruno День назад

    I just love love love her ♡

  • 이은굥
    이은굥 День назад

    내가 내가 원하는 위치로 가게 되면 그때 나한테 맞는 내주변에 그런 사람 만나게 돼 그때 결혼하믄 돼 ~~~ 모가 조급해 지금 말규 37 38 39 40 에 하겠징 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

  • Yonk
    Yonk День назад

    Stop recommending me these really good TED talks that end with a woman crying in her final lines because she's hit with how much she believes in what she's saying

  • Jillygay Suasin
    Jillygay Suasin День назад

    You are an Amazing woman!

  • Posegativity
    Posegativity 3 дня назад

    Can we just take a sec to acknowledge how amazing her hair is?

  • pema sherpa
    pema sherpa 5 дней назад

    loved it especially the last line❤️

  • Johnny Galetan
    Johnny Galetan 6 дней назад

    Moral of the story... Take your time and choose wisely

  • Kelsi Alvarez
    Kelsi Alvarez 6 дней назад +1

    Glad I found this. I'm on the process of loving myself. Bangtan is helping me with it but this just pushed me more forward on how to do it. Thanks.

  • Luci Y
    Luci Y 7 дней назад

    what a cool woman!! love her

  • buddy husband
    buddy husband 9 дней назад

    Absolutely 100% wrong. It has nothing to do with submitting and having a relationship with yourself. That is selfish and self-defeating. Something like that leads to more unfruitful marriages and divorces.
    The answer is to fully and wholeheartedly submit and surrender yourself to God. When you can fully submit yourself to God's will as the bridegroom of your life you will begin to see everything in your life turning around for the better. All your relationships will be better all of your interactions and daily life will be better. Your marriages will be better because you are not doing your will, you have submitted and are doing the will of God even in your relationship with your husband or wife. The most important thing to remember is to always wholeheartedly submit yourself to God in the way that he wants your life to go. Pray to God serve God don't do anything without God. Once you have that good relationship with God you will carry over into your other relationships. You will truly learn what it means to submit and surrender yourself to someone else. God comes first and everything.

  • Maheshika Rathnayake
    Maheshika Rathnayake 9 дней назад

    Tell me how you did it

  • James Pitcher
    James Pitcher 10 дней назад

    That's a lot of alimony, I wish I had women's power to make a person love me then reduce their money by 50% and leave them broken hearted.. Such a shame for us men :\

  • Agata Sliwa
    Agata Sliwa 10 дней назад

    very lame monologue...3 marriages it's nothing to be proud of

  • marimuses
    marimuses 10 дней назад +1

    Am I the only person, who started to cry while listening 😭? Beautiful and deep! ❤️

  • Karyn B
    Karyn B 12 дней назад

    She reminds me of Allison Janney! Wow. What a lady ~ wise. honest. happy.

  • Stella Simarmata
    Stella Simarmata 12 дней назад

    Thank u

  • أنس الباز
    أنس الباز 13 дней назад

    Amazing ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • Karina Alis
    Karina Alis 14 дней назад

    Atleast you get men to marry you, I never been in a relationship lasting longer than a 2 months to a year.... But I guess I should marry myself first, I understand the moral of the story. Thank you for sharing.

  • Chelsea Plez
    Chelsea Plez 14 дней назад

    Love! So good!

  • Growth / Potential
    Growth / Potential 15 дней назад

    Is this to much to ask for? Is this realistic?
    I want someone who is open about who they are
    Communicates their worries
    Loves with their heart and mind equally
    If someone needs their help to help them
    If things get hard to ask for help
    To be strong willed
    To be loving
    To have big ears
    To love their insecuritys and make light of them
    To allow me to love them for who they are
    To say sorry if they're wrong
    To be understanding of another in an argument
    To avoid arguments but if one was to happen talk about things calmly even with opposing ideas.
    To have compassion with everyone even if their talking about the silly things people can do or are upset. To still understand we all have our faults and to not subject people to just their faults
    To not play a blame game. To understand the difference from a blame and learning from a mistake
    To be loyal
    Not to be controlling
    To not speak consciencely about someone while their angry
    Can say no when they don't want to do something
    Able to responsibly answer if ask why not
    Can have things that are private without detrimenting anyone opposed to it. Basically where it doesn't harm the relationship for having some things that are private for them.

  • Growth / Potential
    Growth / Potential 15 дней назад

    I met my soul mate 22 years ago. Now happily married I'm 22 now so is he. We love what we failed to do and accomplished. The pains teaches you truths for your new line of truths to stay true to yourself.

  • Rita Váradi
    Rita Váradi 15 дней назад

    I'm in this one person relationship. I'm the only provider, I have to make all the housework, and don't have children.

  • Vanessa Melgar
    Vanessa Melgar 15 дней назад +2

    Now I understand why people say you need to love yourself first. I never got it, but always heard it. This puts perspective to it and just wow. I was thinking this was going to be just another cliché..but honestly it was great. I love the thought process and awareness of this person. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. You just brightened my world to a whole new limitless amount of possibilities.

  • Jennifer Noonan
    Jennifer Noonan 17 дней назад

    Did you find someone else other then yourself after you found yourself

  • Sublime Diakrisis
    Sublime Diakrisis 17 дней назад

    The best relationship is with your hair. Proof right there!

  • Alfonso Rodriguez
    Alfonso Rodriguez 18 дней назад

    She makes a very good point but there is something i want to say about loving yourself. Loving yourself is just the start of your purpose in life. You need to understand you are part of something bigger! That is why when you love yourself, you share your love to the world. Why? because you soon realize that you are the world….that you and everything in this world is one. So when you love yourself, you love everything around you. You love life! You see the beauty in life around you and share yourself.

  • mswoods39
    mswoods39 18 дней назад

    I stumbled upon this video and it was one of the best I found. Love how honest she was about her life and healing...

  • Robert Sands
    Robert Sands 18 дней назад

    You commit to yourself fully. You are whole already. You need to marry yourself. You are going to be with yourself till death.
    1. You marry yourself for richer or poorer.
    2. Loving yourself exactly where you are.
    3. Loving yourself even for being worse.
    4.Agree to stay with you in sickness and health.
    5. Agree to have and to hold yourself. Love yourself like you want someone to love you.
    How can I help this person achieve their goal?
    I am more interested in how I feel about me than how he feels about me.
    I don't have to hear, I love you. Because I have already heard that from myself. I am never gonna leave you.

  • Kavya Priya
    Kavya Priya 19 дней назад

    Wooowww she is osm

  • jessica maria tolentino
    jessica maria tolentino 19 дней назад

    this is one of the most amazing ted talk i have ever come across. she's amazing !i wish i can tell her this personally! hey you're amazing!!!!

  • Julija Basic
    Julija Basic 19 дней назад

    So good speech and so true 👌

  • タイム トラベラー
    タイム トラベラー 20 дней назад

    In other words she didn't compromised anything and wanted to be independent which don't go well with marriage.

  • Deanna Medlin
    Deanna Medlin 20 дней назад

    WOW!! Felt this to my core! So powerful and just what I needed!

  • subscribe to PewDiePie
    subscribe to PewDiePie 21 день назад

    pro tip - dont marry

  • welshhibby
    welshhibby 21 день назад

    Marrying yourself = female mental illness

  • Maggie Wang
    Maggie Wang 21 день назад

    i like her

  • Emma Robinson
    Emma Robinson 21 день назад

    This made me cry good tears though. Was not expecting that. What a lovely woman.

    JONES 21 день назад

    this is the kind of advice for people who are never single.

  • thelastdispensation
    thelastdispensation 22 дня назад


  • Yuhuan Ye
    Yuhuan Ye 22 дня назад


  • Nishi Hussein
    Nishi Hussein 22 дня назад

    her voice has power

  • Love Elies
    Love Elies 23 дня назад

    omg! When she nearly started to cry, I felt the same!

  • Maria مرية
    Maria مرية 23 дня назад


  • Karen Wallo
    Karen Wallo 23 дня назад

    Wow! That was beautiful! thank you!

  • Karina Romero
    Karina Romero 24 дня назад

    Tracy you’re awesomeeee!!! God bless your life!

  • Ilboudo Aoua
    Ilboudo Aoua 24 дня назад

    Great speech. I loved it! My one take away is "LOVE MYSELF FOR WHO I AM" even the bible says "love your neighbour as yourself".

  • Pauline Art Gallery
    Pauline Art Gallery 24 дня назад

    Amazing video and testimonial, thanks a lot to Tracy McMillan :)

  • Henrique Cardoso
    Henrique Cardoso 25 дней назад +1

    Cheesy and vague.

  • Ellen Vandyke
    Ellen Vandyke 25 дней назад

    Wonderful speaker!! Love yourself first!! Great message!!

  • Winn Matthews
    Winn Matthews 26 дней назад

    She's adorable!!! And good talk :)

  • ro si ta
    ro si ta 27 дней назад


  • Unathi Singata
    Unathi Singata 27 дней назад

    She’s over 40? Wow girl 😍

  • Rachel MacDonald
    Rachel MacDonald 27 дней назад

    Awesome :)

  • Rachel MacDonald
    Rachel MacDonald 27 дней назад

    yeah, if you marry yourself can you still marry someone else or are you cheating on yourself? :)

  • MarocTwizla
    MarocTwizla 27 дней назад +1

    oh please! this is just another bs speech for emotionally insecure and extremely unattractive women who cant find a boyfriend / keep a boyfriend. so they sleep around, get pregnant then threaten you with never being with the kid because they know its EVERY mans worst nightmare to have a child with a women he can never love. a secure, well kept women wouldve realised whats discussed in this video in their teens. it took this clown 3 failed marriages. yawn.

  • Lucy Gubernat
    Lucy Gubernat 28 дней назад

    So true!!!!!

  • manusolef
    manusolef 28 дней назад

    I loved it

  • culota
    culota 28 дней назад

    Okay I need another 13minutes of her just talking about hair care and styling tips. I have naturally curly hair and it's nowhere near her gorgeous hair
    Edit. I needed to hear this today. Being rejected of opportunites and relationships can really make someone jaded and bitter. Thank you for waking me up.

  • gifttygirl
    gifttygirl 28 дней назад


  • inhin c
    inhin c 28 дней назад

    so frank and open , that's courage

  • theChartist
    theChartist 29 дней назад

    Marry nobody. Marriage comes from a time when women were seen as property and political tools

  • rachel grace
    rachel grace Месяц назад

    she's such a strong speaker and she's beautiful! her hair color and curls are gorgeous

  • Galina Mitrokhina
    Galina Mitrokhina Месяц назад

    Tracy, thank you! Lovely speech.

  • Lilly Snow
    Lilly Snow Месяц назад

    Yass i Stan this queen

  • Ehsan Ghaiem
    Ehsan Ghaiem Месяц назад

    RU-clip why you recommended this? how did you know I need this?

  • Desirae Ambrielle
    Desirae Ambrielle Месяц назад


  • All Things Nisha
    All Things Nisha Месяц назад

    This is really beautiful! Sometimes you get so lost in relationships that everything you loved - and loved about yourself - starts to fade. Time to renew my vows with myself. Thank you for this. ❤

  • 동백
    동백 Месяц назад

    잘보고 갑니다❤❤ 구독하고❤ 좋아요❤ 또올께요 ^^~

    • 동백
      동백 Месяц назад

      우리의 삶이 다 그런것 같아요^^~

  • pinchealberto
    pinchealberto Месяц назад

    This is why men go MGTOW

  • NY FAN
    NY FAN Месяц назад +1

    surprise surprise.. u married the wrong men.. ? ur the problem.

  • Steffen Schwietzer
    Steffen Schwietzer Месяц назад +1

    Ungodly talk. Clear cut case.

  • Radhika Padmanabhan
    Radhika Padmanabhan Месяц назад

    thank you dear for making me feel good ...and helping me realise my self worth😚😚😚😚😚😚

  • T G
    T G Месяц назад

    Well, this is definitely the modern conception of "marriage." Fall in love with yourself, validate yourself, pursue what you want and call it a day. Unfortunately, that doesn't leave a lot of room for selflessly giving of oneself to others and valuing your partner's good and well-being above even your own. As long as the idea that all we need to do is choose the "right" person -- instead of treating the other person right -- holds currency, we'll see more videos like this one. And let's face it, this is probably what everyone wants to hear anyway: Hey, just love yourself.

  • Reut Cohen
    Reut Cohen Месяц назад

    I love you :) thank you

  • Maressa Townsend
    Maressa Townsend Месяц назад

    Tracy, you made me laugh and cry. You're a gracious human and amazing speaker.

  • Nigel Legall
    Nigel Legall Месяц назад

    3 times she should be rich

  • Rose Garcia
    Rose Garcia Месяц назад

    You are very entertaining and inciteful. A very powerful talk. Obviously emotional neglect from the caregivers in your life led to your joueney. I am glad you have worked it all out. I hope things go well for you. You seem like a great woman! Your talk has impacted and inspired me. Thank you!!

  • Steve White
    Steve White Месяц назад +1

    Haha...this was a great talk. I'm happy for you "two." When you self actualize it not only makes your life more inspired but also much more enjoyable for the people around you. Keep shining your light, and sharing that great laugh. This was so refreshing. Everyone on Tinder should have to watch this before swiping.

  • Casey Dunham
    Casey Dunham Месяц назад

    This is so true! This is great

  • Maddie Marie
    Maddie Marie Месяц назад

    Minneapolis!! Whooo!!

  • Alexa Brooks Major
    Alexa Brooks Major Месяц назад

    How beautiful! Definitely a good watch!

  • Sonal Pathak
    Sonal Pathak Месяц назад

    Beautiful ❤️

  • Tia B
    Tia B Месяц назад

    I adore this entire message! So much respect I have for her. She literally has so much value ❤️

  • Da Ritti
    Da Ritti Месяц назад

    At 0:44 I turned off....

  • Artist Pr
    Artist Pr Месяц назад

    If this is the same woman who wrote the article, "Why You're Not Married"... she's sickening. That tone of that whole article basically made single women feel like failures about not being married. I'll never forget it. My father and I had a terrible argument because he only read the title and thought it would be a good read for his happily single daughter who had just returned from an exciting life overseas. Now this chick is talking about marrying and loving yourself. Maybe people would love themselves more if 90% of society wasn't busy telling them they're failures for not being married.. foh

  • Mela Rahmadani
    Mela Rahmadani Месяц назад

    Okay, I gonna go buy myself a ring 💕

  • Vicki Dang
    Vicki Dang Месяц назад

    Every time I loose faith or need more of it, this vid is what I watch to put a little light back into my spirit.

  • Lizzie Santosa
    Lizzie Santosa Месяц назад

    this is amazing. most original wisdom come at the right time in my life. send blessing!

  • Vladymir Noriega
    Vladymir Noriega Месяц назад +1

    This is strange

  • Brian Baltzly
    Brian Baltzly Месяц назад

    She's Buck Cherry

  • The Sisko
    The Sisko Месяц назад

    So she married two different cool dudes when she was young had a kid with one collected his child support and she talks about female empowerment?
    She is proof from all the game videos guys post on how to treat and keep women.

  • Zack Maqavoy
    Zack Maqavoy Месяц назад

    *7.7 Dislikes/Down-Votes*
    Well, They sure are mad now.

  • Ophidian
    Ophidian Месяц назад


  • xiao mei
    xiao mei Месяц назад


  • xiao mei
    xiao mei Месяц назад


  • Domino Bonnaire
    Domino Bonnaire Месяц назад

    20biteen mood

  • stephen mentze
    stephen mentze Месяц назад

    Enneagram 5 haha