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Why ‘mom guilt’ is an unreasonable term | Lauren Smith Brody

  • Published on Jan 12, 2019
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Comments • 214

  • Jose Luis Borrageiro
    Jose Luis Borrageiro 3 months ago

    Beyonce was right! If you like it.. put a Ring on it!
    Women, please keep your legs closed until AFTER you get Married. Don't fall for the sweet talk that males do, when looking for Lust (They are not looking for LOVE).

  • Robert Jung
    Robert Jung 3 months ago

    Just think if there were such a thing as health care for all? Hmm, the Scandinavian model works, the US system sucks, I mean is non existent. You guys need to fight for what's right. Go for it, there is nothing wrong with fairness!

  • alexander g
    alexander g 4 months ago

    Women can't have it all, accept the fact!!!

  • Luke Fairbanks
    Luke Fairbanks 4 months ago

    Guys, chill out. She's literally advocating for more paid parental leave. I really hope I get a few months off to welcome my future baby into the world, maybe working from home if I have to

  • geeksquad smarty
    geeksquad smarty 4 months ago

    Aren't feelings individualized.

  • Unworshipediety
    Unworshipediety 4 months ago

    Oh wait it's a video of women talking about women, so of course, subscribers to this channel will vote it down. Because screw the other 50% of the planet's population. If you're reading this... don't waste your time with the comments of this video it's pure trash as usual.

  • Felipe Bologna
    Felipe Bologna 4 months ago

    Definitley a very important issue to address parent-leave, specially in the US is horrible how little people get; missing the first months of your child is a terrible thing. And education should continue it's way of changing roles to a more present father and a mother able to continue their careers and projects as well. I think times are shifting for good, but without adjusting the time a parent is able to spend with a newborn, not sure how far it can get.

  • Dyllan Miller
    Dyllan Miller 4 months ago

    Easy fix for this. Don't have kids. Problem solved.

  • Ellen the Cat
    Ellen the Cat 4 months ago

    Can't believe there are many sexists in the comments down below. I am not even bothered to argue with them. Unfortunately, those can't see who also truly benefit from parental leave - Dads! The job market is changing in this new age. More gender neutral careers are increasing. Not Like in the past - your parents' generation, you didn't get choice when there were high demanding in human labor. The future world will be more automatic. Wake up those whose mind are still lingering in the old world!

  • Josh Philips
    Josh Philips 4 months ago

    This video is problematic.

  • Little House on The Hill

    I don't understand why people get paid leave to have kids. I'm self employed

  • BriArya16
    BriArya16 4 months ago

    Wow, I didn't realize so many people were experts on this. She is just trying to bring light to it not say this is all exactly what's wrong. Then she said the word feminism and everyone flips out, these comments are why these conversations are taking so long. If you're a man and you're upset about this then go learn every th ing about child raising and prove people wrong, saying feminism caused this when it's a relatively newer term that's gained traction. Feminism isn't bad just because you don't like the word.

  • Julez
    Julez 4 months ago

    I'm a simple man. I see a Big Think video about women and I click it to see how badly the MRAs have brigadiered it after only reading the title.

  • Ita Co
    Ita Co 4 months ago

    i like the video

  • sushanalone
    sushanalone 4 months ago +1

    2:18 to all those snowflakes who did not actually WATCH the video to this time-stamp, yes she does talk about Dad-Guilt and even advocates to allow Dads to get leave.
    Guess what where i am from Dads do get parental leave, moms get 18 months a lifetime maternal leave. Start blaming your stupid American workaholic and self obsessed culture and work environment.
    It was a fairly reasonable video , yes women give birth, they have to go through a lot of extra shit , and respecting that does not make one a Feminazi or diminish the hard-work that a working father brings in. And there is a point, if a woman is susceptible to leave within a month of rejoining after a baby, and if a dad takes a leave to support her get adjusted to the new life and she stays employed now for 1 year or 2, yes that is a massive boost to the family income, not to mention her employability and income rise in long term, and you are a good partner to do that for her.
    Stop getting your panties in a knot and watch the whole video.

  • Electronite1337
    Electronite1337 4 months ago

    She accidentally debunked pay gap by admitting that for every month father takes parental leave mothers life time earnings rise 7 percent. So no systemic patriarchal system oppressing women but life choices. Everybody knows these factors but of course feminists.

  • Dan Sullivan
    Dan Sullivan 4 months ago

    Feminist nonsense. Women deserve more and men should be the ones feeling guilty.
    The feminist notion that both parents should work puts materialism ahead of the well-being of the child. Meanwhile, the macroeconomic effect is to oversupply the labor market and drive down wages. Moms feel guilty because they are operating in conflict with their own maternal instincts, and the guilt is a sign that they need to take those instincts more seriously.

  • Afreen Jahan Rabiya
    Afreen Jahan Rabiya 4 months ago +2

    This comment section is very depressing. Can't believe some people still haven't evolved beyond the Middle Ages.

  • m.blacktree
    m.blacktree 4 months ago

    Women are being told that they can essentially work 2 full-time jobs (career and parenting) because they're "empowered". Instead, they get burnt-out. Maybe we should stop telling them that garbage.

  • chescarino
    chescarino 4 months ago

    i'd bloody love to stay home from work and bring my children up. women have perfected the art of complaining and distorting any given situation to make them out to be mistreated

  • Daniel Muñoz
    Daniel Muñoz 4 months ago +2

    I dont understand why some comments are too trigger by this message. She say that women dont feel guilty for do what they think its right, or if you feel so, resolve the root of your feeling. And men should be more involve in parenthood, whats it absolute true. Now days fathers are less present that before pre industrial revolution society.

  • Justin Worboys
    Justin Worboys 4 months ago

    “We shouldn’t have mom guilt, it is unhealthy”
    “Men should have dad guilt”
    And her “oh this isn’t just for binary” -- is so amazing offense to the non-cis-heteronormative family.
    Like, seriously, if a white man came out with this it would be ALL OVER THE INTERNET for being so oppressive.

  • Jakob Hyer
    Jakob Hyer 4 months ago

    Why does this channel fucking support dumbasses like this!??! Literally nobody and I mean NOBODY wants to hear what they see as “factual statements/facts” from these morons. I really like this channel but you guys need to take control and stop posting this fake intellectual shit! One more and I’ll unsubscribe and ask all my friends who are subscribed to you to also do the same. Would love a reply from y’all if possible.

  • Interesting View
    Interesting View 4 months ago

    I took a month off work to watch the kids and my wife didn't get any pay increases. It's almost as if correlation is not causation. Maybe if dad is working less, then it's because mom was already earning more money. So the more dad stays home, the more likely mom is to already be a bigger wage earner. I didn't even write a book about it and I figured this out in two seconds...

  • Thijs van Gisbergen
    Thijs van Gisbergen 4 months ago

    0.o yea that's true 0.o let's keep the big think going big think.

  • Bas
    Bas 4 months ago +3

    in conclusion: Women feel bad about the decisions they make themselves, and it's the responsibility of the man to fix this.
    yet another way to infantilize women and blame all their struggles on men

  • K. Wright
    K. Wright 4 months ago

    What is all this shit we keep piling on? Life's tough. Deal with it.

  • Frmr Christian
    Frmr Christian 4 months ago +1

    I've personally never heard the term!

  • TeleTube
    TeleTube 4 months ago

    Heaven forbid we burden women with the task of taking care of their own defenseless babies. As if partial-birth abortions weren't enough. The guilt is innate and evolutionary. No amount of self-deluded caca and poo poo is gonna change that. Deal with it bitches, you've got responsibilities.

  • Mr J3nk0
    Mr J3nk0 4 months ago

    It's like nobody has considered that Marxist Feminisms ideas ARE THE CAUSE of these guiltly feelings.....
    Marxisms whole trick is to set up inner conflicts in classes of people where one ought to feel guilty about those who have less than you do (across any metric) while at the same time be frustrated by those who have more than you. Whether in wealth, time, support or happiness, you name it.
    It's purpose- to con you into supporting the notion that you ought to be producing to support others and not for yourself.
    It's an old stratergy. Now mothers themselves have become their pawns.

  • Blood Angel
    Blood Angel 4 months ago +2

    Can you have it all? No. You want everything done your way? Stop that. Problem solved. You're welcome.

  • B A
    B A 4 months ago

    You feel guilty cause you are!

  • duhmez
    duhmez 4 months ago

    Moms take longer leave because their pusies are all beat up and need to heal. Dad doesn't wanna be nailing some beat up and swolen pussy!

  • Solarth
    Solarth 4 months ago

    This is anti-feminist, fuck you and fuck feminism!

  • big5astra
    big5astra 4 months ago

    I think they should legislate that from now on, only men should get pregnant and look after the baby so Mums can rid themselves of this terrible guilt.

  • Tan Akpek
    Tan Akpek 4 months ago

    See this is why liberalism has gone too far. This general assumption that feelings such as guilt, shame, envy, rage are bad and they should be minimized in society is merely against human nature and inhibits our most optimal functioning. Yes we should try to create environments in which people will need less of these feelings to succeed but we cannot so directly prevent people from feeling these when it is natural that they need it most of the time. This pointless hedonism to eradicate every single bad feeling takes meaning away from our lives, our regrets make us wiser, we cannot strive for arbitrary ecstasy because it doesn't exist without drugs or alterations to the brain. In this particular case, "mom guilt" is the mother's endeavor to always make the best decisions for the well-being of the child. She becomes overcritical of her actions and constantly feels the need to rectify her mistakes. This helps her raise the child diligently. Same goes for dads. You cannot just assume this feeling is unreasonable and you also shouldn't try to give people unnatural ideas that rewire their brains so they become less attentive to their children. Yes the feeling is guilt and yes even if it doesn't "feel nice" people should go through it because it helps us as a species.

  • 01001000 01010100
    01001000 01010100 4 months ago

    get you shit together big think , i thought only intellectual people can give talks on this platform , you're sinking just like GENIUS is .

  • Kekero
    Kekero 4 months ago +2

    Hey if you want to work, work.
    If you want to be a housewife, be a housewife. Don’t try to do either for some group ideal like feminism or traditional beliefs. Go be your own person.
    But hey if you truly want to be both. find a partner that will share the burden of child rearing.

    • Staley Pharmaceuticals
      Staley Pharmaceuticals 4 months ago

      Holy shit! That was rational! Thank you. I sincerely mean this. Simplistic yet so true. 🖤

  • Brandon Nolet
    Brandon Nolet 4 months ago

    30% of women dropping out of the workforce within the first year sounds like a pretty trivial statistic. Sounds like it doesn't really point to a bigger problem at all. Lack of respect from the country for new parenthood would more likely be directed at any male who even attempts to take some time off for their child. Guilt for being a parent when you find you have a work/life imbalance should probably be reserved for when you're purposely neglecting your child, not putting them in someone's care so that you can work and provide for your family.

  • Succulent Lord
    Succulent Lord 4 months ago

    That thumbnail image is very clever.

  • Basillio11
    Basillio11 4 months ago

    Our country or our corporate sponsored government officials....Lets get our adversaries straight lady.

  • Gpeps22
    Gpeps22 4 months ago

    Just wondering: if mom's income increases 7% for every month the dad takes off, how much does the dad's lifetime income either decrease or stall as compared to dad's who did not take the leave?

  • Mystery Yoghurt
    Mystery Yoghurt 4 months ago +7

    LOL the comments are conditioned to deny that post natal depression exists.
    Oh my god. The anti SJWs are borderline deluded at this point. Anything that talks about women. ANYTHING. Yikes.

    • Mystery Yoghurt
      Mystery Yoghurt 4 months ago

      +Azure Zakuro Well, my initial post was in reference to the STAGGERING kneejerk by anti-SJWs to a very important topic.
      If you're not gonna reframe the context of a discussion, then I'm just gonna assume we're working along that foundation, my man.
      You are entirely irrelevant to the scream. Unless you're part of the kneejerk. Then you're relevant again. =P
      I should ALSO note that you didn't lay out 2 counterpoints. You just exclaimed that there were only 2 ways to tackle this problem.
      Which, I have to be honest, is so completely incorrect I wonder how you even came to that conclusion.
      Post-natal depression isn't like normal depression. It's an observed effect that is directly tied to standards of baby rearing. It is being thrown a task where everything is suddenly at stake; and your life choices suddenly narrow.
      It normally takes YEARS of crushing despair to get to this kind of situation. But throw a baby in the mix, and you can hit it in a week.
      I'm not sure what you wanna talk about in this regard, seeing as this entire thread is the result of me expressing disbelief at the retardation of the people involved in this comment-bomb, at large. :P

    • Azure Zakuro
      Azure Zakuro 4 months ago

      +Mystery Yoghurt okay i claimed none of those things. Post natal depression is real, i know this full well iv watched my mother go through it after my sister was born but heres the thing:
      A: Raising awareness is a great tool and yes should be used but understand depression is depression, when it hits it comes down to you not the level of prepared. as well as those around you
      B: where did scream "men are under attack, and feminist are evil"? all i said was heres 2 counter points, im open to discuss. Sounds like you projecting a lot of things on me right now.

    • Mystery Yoghurt
      Mystery Yoghurt 4 months ago +1

      +Azure Zakuro In addition to what I said below, the girl in this vid actually LAYS OUT a 3rd option. And a 4th option. Both based on research in her field.
      so option H: Stop calling ALL forms of post-natal depression 'mom guilt', and tackle them individually.
      Option I: Consider having dads take care of the kid during a period of its early development, to allow the working mother to go back to work for a time and keep pace.
      Not only does she claim that this almost eliminates the weird depression that sticks with the mother, it also has a better effect on the father/son relationship over time.
      WEIRD, right? Information in a video? And here I was just downvoting it because women were talking about being depressed. :P

    • Mystery Yoghurt
      Mystery Yoghurt 4 months ago

      +Blue Jay k.

    • Mystery Yoghurt
      Mystery Yoghurt 4 months ago +1

      +Azure Zakuro c: we better equip women for post-natal depression through awareness campaigns. Or d: parental support efforts (like hotlines?)
      You could think up a million ways to tackle this kind of thing. I don't think whining that men are under attack and screaming that depressed girls are evil feminists is a particularly great approach. But we'll file that under e, amiright? :P

  • Blue Jay
    Blue Jay 4 months ago

    Another dumb feminist blaming other people for personal problems.
    Serious how fuck am I supposed to help you with your guilt GTFO.

  • umiluv
    umiluv 4 months ago

    Well the focus for moms shouldn’t be that they go to work to leave their kids. They go to work FOR their kids.
    I want to be a stay at home mom but I HAVE to go back to work because it’s impossible to survive off of only one income stream. I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck and I want to save for our son’s higher education along with saving for a house and retirement. Impossible with only one salary unless your spouse is making $200k a year.
    Every parent makes choices with what they have to do FOR their family. Every parent has felt guilt. It’s up to you to not wallow in it and spend that extra time with your kids to make sure they know you love them.

  • nej avlid
    nej avlid 4 months ago +2

    Wtf is going on with this channel today? If these two last videos are "big think" then you might be interested in some of my ideas too. I come here to gain knowledge, not to feel like someone is reading out twitter comments while being filmed.

  • Gulgathydra
    Gulgathydra 4 months ago

    Only a feminist would look at our society and think that we do not *respect the whammen!*

  • G FATHER1259
    G FATHER1259 4 months ago +2

    If you have a child you inherit a mantle of responsibility. This goes for parents but, we are all in this world. We all share this mantel

  • Daniel Swinger
    Daniel Swinger 4 months ago

    You should feel guilty!!

  • gopal v
    gopal v 4 months ago

    2 months more paid what paid leave till the child become adult and get a job and support self will do the work. Getting a person in to this world is your god damn decision/problem so be responsible , plan it. and work for it dont just expect other to work for you, give every thing for free just because your are having a child. Life is hard just accept it and pick your sacrifice thats what everyone is doing, stop spreading a victim narrative.

    • gopal v
      gopal v 4 months ago

      ​+umiluv wow we are talking about society/community .....what happen to this community , when we have this thought to bring a new one in to it, even though we all know that most of population dont have basic needs and most are wasting already existing resources.. what happen when this community have orphans most even dont know why they exists .
      If we really want to help the community then lets help them ..but no no no no ..we want our own fucking thing.. isnt it? We are so selfless that we bring new some one in to this world without even asking their permission, let them suffer and hope this community to selflessly clean this child's ass with out asking a damn great... "selfless act of the generation". What else we should do as community? How about killing current citizens so health care can support new one?
      Community can only do soo much and please there are more important problems to be solved, for that we need more independent, strong and responsible minds in our community. Bringing a new one in to world even knowing all this is most selfish act one could do in their life time.
      Raising a child is a full time job and one already have a time demanding full time job, one think that they are incompetent for multiple jobs, then should choose which one is important. Prioritize the jobs, stick with that . Same applies to all partners involved in the production irrespective of genders (parents), so, its parents responsibility.
      Parents should plan for this years ahead not after child got out in to the world. We wont do our part and expect community to do its part. And wonder why it said "FUCK OFF ". lol..very funny.
      So, all I ask is please stop spreading victim narrative, thats all problems in our lives is because of society. We already have enough irresponsible citizens who leave in their moms basement and unemployment funds, we dont need more like them so stop this narrative. Just take the responsibility.

    • umiluv
      umiluv 4 months ago

      gopal v - your assumption that kids are only the parents’ responsibility. We as a community/nation have a responsibility to help parents with their kids too at least indirectly. We should care about the hardships of parents and their children if we expect to derive benefits from the success of the children in the future.
      It’s not as cut and dry as “your kids are your responsibility only”. Then if that’s the case, those kids should only care for the benefits of their parents and no one else. They shouldn’t have to pay taxes for anyone else’s benefit. But they will.
      Your mindset is extremely selfish and only self preserving. You seem to not care about the community and society as a whole. That’s the problem we have today. Shareholders don’t give a fuck about benefits for employees and people don’t give a fuck about how kids are raised. It’s a free for all and fuck everyone else.

    • gopal v
      gopal v 4 months ago

      +umiluv sorry, I don't get it, what do my comment have any thing to do with "social security"?

    • umiluv
      umiluv 4 months ago

      gopal v - well if you care about social security later on, that kid’s help paying for yours if you don’t have any kids.

  • Dartanion-
    Dartanion- 4 months ago

    More big no think. Our country doesn’t have an overall opinion about anything. We are individuals making free choices. Don’t like what someone else says or thinks you do not have to care. Sticks and stones...

  • Kayte Weeks
    Kayte Weeks 4 months ago +1

    I’m so sick of women acting like they’re prized possessions in society because they had a baby. Everyone has had a baby. If you’re guilty for going to work when you had a baby, maybe you shouldn’t have had one.

  • Robby
    Robby 4 months ago +27

    Big think has really gone down the toilet lately

    • Kekero
      Kekero 4 months ago +5

      Robby it’s Almost like they allow different opinions. Jesus they let Jordan Peterson on regularly just stop being a snowflake and learn to encounter different opinions.

  • Aloha Snack Bar
    Aloha Snack Bar 4 months ago +37

    This mentality is exactly what leads to dead-beat parents. You don’t get to do the whole “what I want” when you’re a parent. The “its all about me” attitude when having a child. It’s not about you! It’s about what’s best for your kid!
    This is why the western birth rate is so low.

  • J Ribs
    J Ribs 4 months ago

    Why does she keep saying ‘our culture’ doesn’t respect new mothers. The fuck? What does that even mean? What culture does she think is superior? Or is it all cultures? Why not just criticize humanity at this point?

  • David Lloyd-Jones
    David Lloyd-Jones 4 months ago +1

    Every day could be "take your kids to work" day if we were serious about ourselves. If offices are factories for women workers, then why don't they all have nurseries?
    I'm not claiming that would be any ideal of family relations, male-female or parent-child. It just seems to me the very first small step off rock-bottom of ignorance, stupidity and savagery in the way we go about designing a society.

    • umiluv
      umiluv 4 months ago

      Justin M - Also, guess who’s going to be paying for your universal health insurance when you get older... Yah... it’s those “lifestyle choices” that will be.

    • umiluv
      umiluv 4 months ago

      Justin M - also the US dollar goes far in certain parts of America. Doesn’t go very far in places like California or New York City.

    • umiluv
      umiluv 4 months ago

      Justin M - shit... everyone is catering for trans people to have their “lifestyle choice”. To the point where governments are advocating for businesses to require certain bathrooms and where people are required by law to call them by their preferred pronoun. Yet, we can’t support parents and their kids?
      It’s the fucking twilight zone...

    • umiluv
      umiluv 4 months ago

      Justin M - the government doesn’t consider having children a personal lifestyle choice. The government actually gives benefits to taxpayers for having children and that’s because they want people to have children. What’s the point of even having a long term civilization if we don’t give a fuck about people having kids?
      Having a pet is a lifestyle choice. Having kids is furthering the future of your community and country. That’s a huge difference.

    • Justin M
      Justin M 4 months ago

      +umiluv My original comment was why should a business have to pay for the lifestyle choices of it's employees. That's a universal question not one solely directed at US employees. Just because you think Australian's are better off doesn't mean we can't have opinions about things in other countries. Also, our universal healthcare is not nearly as good as you are led to believe. It's odd that it is constantly used as an example of what the US should implement. I don't think maternity/paternity should be a thing. That falls under 'lifestyle choices', something that an employer shouldn't have to pay for.
      I agree with you on minimum wage. Ours is about $18 an hour/US$13. So almost double what you make. However in the US you get more bang for your buck than we do. And before you ask, yes I've been to the US many many times. NYC, Seattle and TX mostly. Things are cheaper. So much so, I used to get US friends to purchase Christmas presents for my niece and nephews there and ship them to me. Even with shipping it was still a lot cheaper. One of my sisters and her family lived in the US for 2 years for work and was amazed at how cheap things were. $7 is shit though. That needs to be worked on.
      Back to the daycare issue. I agree that if employees want on site daycare, they should pay for it. That's actually an interesting business idea. An onsite daycare company. But it would only work for certain companies. Those that have the space required and have the demand. Mostly larger companies I would imagine. By larger I mean a lot of people working in the same building. Not larger like McDonald's where it simply isn't possible.
      Sorry for the wall of text but I wanted to address as many points you made as I could.

  • April Hart
    April Hart 4 months ago +3

    Women shouldn't be allowed to vote, they shouldn't be allowed in the workforce alongside men.

  • Qimodis
    Qimodis 4 months ago

    'gender parity problem' lol
    why would you want money instead of a bond with your own child at least as an avg mother

    • umiluv
      umiluv 4 months ago +1

      Qimodis - because today both parents need to work because rent is too expensive. Need to save for your kid’s college education if they want to go. The banks have fucked everyone over.

  • Qimodis
    Qimodis 4 months ago

    'equal partners' doesn't mean doing everythjng
    soulless lib ozymandias careeeism

  • Qimodis
    Qimodis 4 months ago

    why is using ine word bad?
    there's 'survivor guilt'

  • Qimodis
    Qimodis 4 months ago

    the country isn't a victim

  • gerg
    gerg 4 months ago +1

    So mom guilt is a general term for I'm a women that had a kid and I feel bad because reason. Sounds like those women should learn to get over it.

  • seren1tyy
    seren1tyy 4 months ago +5

    I highly urge you to look into Antinatalism if you think about having a child. Please do not bring a new sentient beeing into this world, it is more unethical than you might think. Transcend your biological urges and do the morally right thing.

    • Vegan Rocker
      Vegan Rocker 4 months ago

      +seren1tyy No worries fellow sophist. Here, I have sent you a brain emoji : 🧠

    • seren1tyy
      seren1tyy 4 months ago +1

      +Rise of a Conqueror natural =/= ethical

    • seren1tyy
      seren1tyy 4 months ago +1

      +Vegan Rocker i couldnt be bothered to respond to his nonsensical comment, but im glad you did, thx.

    • Vegan Rocker
      Vegan Rocker 4 months ago +4

      +Rise of a Conqueror What a childishly stupefied and arrogantly puerile assertion. I suppose in your flat earth fairyland, scientific facts such as man made climate change and overpopulation just don't exist. I imagine the pixie and elf scientists in your magical realm have not yet deduced that 99.99% of all species on earth have gone extinct, and I suppose the unicorn and goblin physicists have yet to contemplate the Fermi Paradox which asserts that all advanced civilizations destroy themselves. Not forgetting the combination of dwindling vital resources such as air and water and global nuclear proliferation.
      Your laughably mindless assertion should be amended to read : The most natural and responsible thing a calculating biological creature can THINK is antinatalism.
      In summary, breeders are selfish, unthinking and conceited.

    • Rise of a Conqueror
      Rise of a Conqueror 4 months ago +2

      The most unnatural and absolutely backwards thing a biological creature can 'think' Is antinatalism.

  • Faheem X
    Faheem X 4 months ago +16

    It's not an unreasonable term, if you are a sensible person you'll feel guilty about not taking care of your child properly, and the solution to that is either don't make babies or don't work if you want the baby so much, and that's what mother's do and I believe that is what they should do.

    • Shawn Ravenfire
      Shawn Ravenfire 4 months ago

      In this day and age, it's almost impossible to raise a child on a single income, unless the working parent has a REALLY high-paying job.

  • Ball Juice Of Zeus
    Ball Juice Of Zeus 4 months ago +38

    Yep, women should never be accountable for anything, including guilt. I suggest that you blame a man

  • Hercules
    Hercules 4 months ago

    you know they are toxic parasites when they obsess about WORDS. filthy first world little bloodsuckers.

  • pRopaaNS
    pRopaaNS 4 months ago

    This is how you deal with bad feelings - do not give them life by acting upon them. Feelings are fleeting, they comes and goes. Unless you develop them into tangible mental concepts and start glorifying them as something important.

  • Elhesh
    Elhesh 4 months ago +5

    Mom guilt? First time I ever heard this nonsense. Sounds like some chicks need to balance out their ego

  • Spartan Ares
    Spartan Ares 4 months ago +1

    You wanted to be in the driver's seat, now stop bitching...

  • Petar Stamenkovic
    Petar Stamenkovic 4 months ago +15

    Men provide and women raise children- for millennia. This is built in right in the human DNA through evolution. Men who didn't provide and women who didn't take care of their children literally didn't raise any children to pass of their genes.
    You wish to change history of humankind because it doesn't fit in your narrow ideology. _You_ think that nature is wrong and sexist for creating difference in the sexes that allowed our species to survive this long. That just shows a problem with _your_ worldview, not a problem with the world.

    • Bent Stigsen
      Bent Stigsen 4 months ago +4

      I'm pretty sure the male sex didn't evolve the ability to "provide", rather it evolved faster stronger physique to hunt/fight prey for food or fight off predators for the safety of the group. But when hunted food is not what needs to be provided, the any evolved ability to that effect is moot.
      Being a provider today is just a matter of having a skill, that will earn you money.

    • Julius Red
      Julius Red 4 months ago +2

      Then again the mechanism to challenge human nature is also built in human DNA, that's how evolution works.

    • 7Counterpart7
      7Counterpart7 4 months ago +1

      "narrow ideology" lol

  • SourFrogable
    SourFrogable 4 months ago +3

    wtf is this comment section? it makes my eyes burn from all the sexism...

    • Blue Jay
      Blue Jay 4 months ago

      Sexism like what like feeling guilty is a personal problem and men have nothing to do with it.
      And if you so chose to live a life where you wanna work and have a child you have hard choices to make and sometimes you'll feel like your making the wrong choice?
      Because that's what the folks seem to be arguing what are your arguing.

  • S T
    S T 4 months ago +1

    First ,if you think about it . The children do NOT give consent to being born and can’t. I find the whole thing very selfish of humans to bring children into existence. The world is too hostile and impersonal for a child to be born just to become a wage slave to this planet with massive existential crisises going to happen in even our lifetime. The world is overpopulated and is destroying itself and I find its better to adopt a child than to have one or many. Humans are hardwired to reproduce and our culture shoves it down our throats to have them. They are very expensive and the outcome is often disturbing and disappointing. Humans are selfish and absolutely brutal to other humans and animals. Time to think about this. This woman talking here is completely brainwashed. Think for yourself and question everything and everyone. We are all living in a lie. We have political parties and corporations that manufacture our consent and created a culture of keeping you and I of honest critical thinking. We have no free will. We have an illusion of freedom in America. For example the war on drugs is not a war on drugs.... it’s a war on personal freedom. Keep this in mind. Listen to George Carlin and Bill Hicks. They are the great philosophers of our time.

  • Dane Hay
    Dane Hay 4 months ago +12

    If you feel guilty for being a mother your a bad mother.

  • Brian A. Nichols
    Brian A. Nichols 4 months ago +9

    They should. Abandoning your babies to be raised by strangers for a wasted life in a meaningless job while the government steals your money and the rest goes to daycare.

  • juu
    juu 4 months ago +5

    literally everything on this channel having to do with women is immediately downvoted. Why is this channel filled with so many retards who hate women? Other educational channels dont have this problem.

    • Blue Jay
      Blue Jay 4 months ago

      No everything that has to do with feminist and stupid women get down voted there are plenty of videos on big think that woman talking in that have alot of up votes.
      Your the most sexist person here by your statement

    • umiluv
      umiluv 4 months ago +1

      nasachusetts - dads want paternity leave. If you’re not a dad, I don’t think you really have a say in the matter. Honestly, with this response, I hope you don’t have a kid. We don’t need more kids in this world with parents that ignore them.

    • juu
      juu 4 months ago +1

      +nasachusetts This comment is so stupid 😂😂 I lived in the U.K where both men and women get paid paternity leave and guess what? Everyone takes it. And no, a single income nuclear family is not considered the best family model. Far from it.

    • nasachusetts
      nasachusetts 4 months ago +1

      +juu I never wanted nor asked for paternity leave. Even if us men are shamefully granted that few would actually take it. Men work. It gives us purpose, structure, and tranquility to provide for our families. Feminists will never understand the best solution for raising children is dad works mom takes care of kids, kids play with Dad when he gets home, bedtime and a new day. It is the best proven through time method model of raising a mentally stable healthy child and there is not a damn thing wrong with it. I care about the kids you care about women's careers.

  • HimKioo
    HimKioo 4 months ago +12

    Big think? More like Overthinking.
    It's just a dumb word that no one uses and you overthinked it. It's just some slang.

    • Shawn Ravenfire
      Shawn Ravenfire 4 months ago

      I think it's a niche term, so this video is more directed at these particular think tanks than the general public.

  • Discover Your Awesomeness
    Discover Your Awesomeness 4 months ago +3

    *You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. £*

  • Shubhboy G
    Shubhboy G 4 months ago +2

    Never knew "Mom guilt" also existed...................but hey, the more u know

  • The80sKickAss
    The80sKickAss 4 months ago +14

    "Mothers take longer leave than father' the united states more than anywhere else" Yes as a new dad I would love to be able to take off time to spend with my kid. The fact is that it is still looked down upon when men take off time and they can't legally take off as much time. Women get added time for recuperation from the birth. It is expected for a woman to take off because of the significant toll it takes on their bodies. If a man takes off it looks like their not serious about their job and I know plenty of people that don't take off (myself included) because of fear that it will hurt their careers significantly.

    • BlindEagle Ace
      BlindEagle Ace 4 months ago

      True. The US is the only country in the developed world to not offer paternal or maternal leave for their citizens.
      Even most Muslim majority countries at the very least offer maternal leave and some offer paternal leave.
      The US system is fucked.

    • Jarin Jove
      Jarin Jove 4 months ago +2

      Yeah, the workplace laws are pretty fucked up. They need to be more limited like Europe's system, because the US system is becoming systematically impossible.

  • SlideRulePirate
    SlideRulePirate 4 months ago

    So, can't have it all?

  • Dead as Dreams
    Dead as Dreams 4 months ago +14

    Both moms and dads should feel guilty just for having children

    • Stew F
      Stew F 4 months ago

      Everything is temporary. Including life and suffering. So guilt is not required, but if you insist that too will be temporary.

    • Rise of a Conqueror
      Rise of a Conqueror 4 months ago

      +Dead as Dreams retarded. Absolutely retarded.

    • Iago Silva
      Iago Silva 4 months ago +1

      +Dead as Dreams Wow - don't see this (reasonable) conclusion tossed around often; reason I myself don't have kids, and the ending line of one of Assis' most famous books...
      Still, we're genetically built to strive for it, as a sort of cosmic joke, so it's still important to account for the fact it's gonna happen, and society's job is to make sure the suffering of all parties involved gets minimized

    • Dead as Dreams
      Dead as Dreams 4 months ago +3

      +Brian A. Nichols Because reproduction is an inherently selfish act and creates unnecessary suffering

    • Brian A. Nichols
      Brian A. Nichols 4 months ago +1


  • Cole Panacci
    Cole Panacci 4 months ago +5

    Lol... You should feel mom guilt if you're letting your kid become a spastic rtard by sending them to postsec for "activist studies" and other fifth column type courses.

    • Cole Panacci
      Cole Panacci 4 months ago

      +BlindEagle Ace gender studies

    • Cole Panacci
      Cole Panacci 4 months ago

      +Follow The Grow I'm subbed for Ben goertzel

    • BlindEagle Ace
      BlindEagle Ace 4 months ago +1

      Cole Panacci
      What? What are you talking about?

    • Follow The Grow
      Follow The Grow 4 months ago

      +TheBigGSN5 youre so stupid. You dont even know what trump derangement syndrome is. How about you go sit your sissy gay boy ass down and learn something for once.

  • Kevin Thompson
    Kevin Thompson 4 months ago +1

    Mom guilt is what's wrong with America not President Trump

    • Follow The Grow
      Follow The Grow 4 months ago

      AGREED. These people are fucking dumber than a box of fucking rocks.

  • Casenigma
    Casenigma 4 months ago +8

    Maybe you feel guilty about tossing your child in daycare... because that's fucking pathetic?

  • maaz amjad
    maaz amjad 4 months ago +17

    The agenda to push more and more women into workforce is the root cause of the destruction of femininity and motherhood. Femininity and motherhood are two core elements of being a woman. Shoving women into workforce so that corporations can have more labor and cheap labor at that and therefore they could expand their empire is detrimental to womanhood and ultimately the whole humanity.
    Women never demanded to work. They were already working in their own homes taking good care of their families. They were 'brought' into the workforce due to lack of men as a result of two world wars. Bringing women into the workforce was a necessity than a right. And it was the right thing to do back then. But now there are many men who aren't serving in the army and going to wars. The majority of them are at home, in their own countries. So pushing women into the workforce is not required anymore. The policy needs to be reversed.

    • Christina Furlow
      Christina Furlow 4 months ago +3

      Well not everyone woman in the west wants to have children. A lot of women I know love their careers and enjoy working. Even women with kids too, it’s all about having a balance. In America, especially the north east you a very lucky if you can support a family with one income. Things are so expensive here and many families struggle to live from paycheck to paycheck. You can easily lose your home by missing a couple of paychecks because illness or an injury. That happened to one of my friends. If you’re lucky a woman can work partime and spend the rest of the week taking care of her family. Mostly Health care professionals who work the night shift can do this.

    • Gpeps22
      Gpeps22 4 months ago +1

      +TheExplorer And I bet you believe you're a real prize

    • janewright315
      janewright315 4 months ago +3

      +maaz amjad laying out ass backwards drivel as always.

    • maaz amjad
      maaz amjad 4 months ago +3

      +Jarin Jove You ought to apologize to us Muslims and repent to God Almighty for turning our region into the Hell-hole you talk about. We were living peacefully in our countries until you came to our shores and destroyed our lands. You waged wars against us. We did not do anything to you. You are the criminals. And you know what, you will pay the price both in this life and life after death when you will resurrected to life in order to account for your evil deeds. It is only a matter of time.

    • Jarin Jove
      Jarin Jove 4 months ago +7

      So you want to limit what women can do because they're women? Sorry, we don't believe in your Middle East hellholes.

  • Donza Thompson
    Donza Thompson 4 months ago +14

    And while mom and dad are taking leave who’s going to do the dam work ! This past December I had to work 12 and 13 hours a day covering for these women who chronically take family leave and screw everybody else over on the job. Taking family leave to be with your kids is just using your kids for a day off, and making it harder for those of us who are actually productive

    • Gulgathydra
      Gulgathydra 4 months ago +5

      What makes you think he gets overtime? If he's a supervisor, manager, or has a salaried position, he may not be entitled to overtime.
      I worked 90+ hours a week through December and was not paid an extra dime. I was to be given "time in leiu". A year and a half later I still had never got that time back (or any vacation, for that matter), nor had any kind of compensation.
      And there are still those who would call me 'privileged' because I earned more than my wage slave coworkers.
      I did the math. Between overtime and holiday pay (which I did not receive), I earned less than minimum wage. But my paychecks were still larger than the people who only showed up a couple times a week, and frequently left early, so I'm part of the pay-gap problem (they were full-time employees on paper).

    • BlindEagle Ace
      BlindEagle Ace 4 months ago +3

      Donza Thompson
      Wow, 12 and 13 hours?
      You don’t think trying to balance your home life and work life is productive?
      Are you sure the reason is because of some random woman?
      I mean this is the worst flu season we had up until now. And their is a measles outbreak in New York. I’ll take day off to be with my family too.

    • Follow The Grow
      Follow The Grow 4 months ago

      +TheBigGSN5 no point in even debating someone like you. Stop using your feelings and start using facts and logic for once. Your life will be alot simpler. You can keep the 2 cents. Wait youre the guy who didnt even know what TDS was.... 😂

    • Follow The Grow
      Follow The Grow 4 months ago +1

      +TheBigGSN5 slave mentality? Youre fucking lost in the mind. 😂

    • TheBigGSN5
      TheBigGSN5 4 months ago +3

      Donza Thompson I mean, you’re showing the slave mentality. Businesses aren’t doing you a favor exploiting your labor.

    OCASM 4 months ago +50

    Feminism causes this.

    • J Ribs
      J Ribs 4 months ago +2

      +Hager Hafaiedh The reverse triggered card. So original. Never seen an old person say this on Facebook ever in my life I swear.

    • Hager Hafaiedh
      Hager Hafaiedh 4 months ago +1

      +J Ribs "triggered" ? lol ! you reactionaries like to add that word like you would add salt in all your meals! Listen kid,I am glad i had a good laugh thanks to your incurable stupidity! Now go cry and play the victim elsewhere xD ;) :* ! Kiss

    • J Ribs
      J Ribs 4 months ago +3

      Hager Hafaiedh Anyone, everything. You’re so hyperbolic. Catastrophizing so much over a benign comment. Clearly triggered you. For that, I am happy.

    • Hager Hafaiedh
      Hager Hafaiedh 4 months ago +1

      +J Ribs Calling ''dumb'' anyone who disagrees with you won't make you any smart! And yes anti-feminists DO blame feminism for basically everything in sight! You wanna deny it ,it is up to you,but it's becoming a factual phenomenon you can't hide from ;)

    • J Ribs
      J Ribs 4 months ago +4

      Hager Hafaiedh ‘this’ does not equal ‘everything wrong on the planet’. Read a lot of dumb RU-clip comments but this is up there at the peak.

  • Clare C
    Clare C 4 months ago +3

    Yes, it's designed to be a two person job and it's great to see more dads keenly involved nowadays. I don't envy parenthood because it's not for everyone but parents definitely do a tough and thankless job. #cheerfullychildfree 😎✌

  • Rise of a Conqueror
    Rise of a Conqueror 4 months ago +35

    So stay at home like a good mother. Unless you absolutely need to. Just because you have 50 years of feminism, doesn't mean your mammalian brain chemistry changed because you have an idea. '30% drop out of the workplace' = 30% smart, normal women.

    • Ger Iarza
      Ger Iarza 4 months ago +1

      +Rise of a Conqueror I think it's more societal that we think only women can take care of a kid. A lot of times men want their wives to have kids. How about they take some time off and look after the kid they wanted?

    • Rise of a Conqueror
      Rise of a Conqueror 4 months ago +1

      +Jarin Jove they're the ones who nature selected to be the best fit for this role at this time in the child's life. If the mother fell ill or must work if the father is I'll, then naturally the father must step in. Just like fighting off a burglar, a woman has arms and eyes, of course she has a chance to perform, but nature selected the man to have the strength and instincts to defend. Why are we fighting nature? ... because we live in a plastic world. It's fake. It's not real. Therefore all the thoughts, conversations, and ideas are unnatural and fake. Turn the lights off for two days and see how long these silly 'big think' mom guilt ideas last.

    • Jarin Jove
      Jarin Jove 4 months ago +3

      So women are the only ones who know how to raise a child?

  • OJ Love
    OJ Love 4 months ago +13

    now america is responsible for women’s feelings. country goin to the shitter foreal foreal

    • Follow The Grow
      Follow The Grow 4 months ago

      Fr. These people are fucking lost. Dumber than rocks

  • Chaos Theory
    Chaos Theory 4 months ago +5

    A term doesn't perfectly capture everything... who would've thought?

  • lloydgush
    lloydgush 4 months ago +87

    Mom's guilt is a female centric term, nobody talks about dad's guilt because their feelings of guilt aren't seem as unreasonable and if it's seen as unreasonable it's not seems as foreign afflicted, more precisely, nobody cares about what dads feel.
    But it doesn't mean dads don't talk about it among each other, they do, it's just individualized, they have to create their own support network and it's usually only acceptable in the context of humor, basically they can't drag their support down with their feelings of misery.
    And that's something that can be very healthy, of course, dads should be a little bit less stoic.

    • Blue Jay
      Blue Jay 4 months ago

      +Jarin Jove what?
      STFU lol actually make a sensible comment idiot.

    • jamada d
      jamada d 4 months ago

    • Gulgathydra
      Gulgathydra 4 months ago

      No. First Jarin Jove must prove that 'the patriarchy' exists.

    • sourcescience
      sourcescience 4 months ago +1

      Jarin Jove please detail the process of creation, including examples, citations and theoretical background.

    • lloydgush
      lloydgush 4 months ago

      +Follow The Grow Hey, men can also be stupid and overthinking.
      I'm extremely overthinking, that's why we need to hear lateralus or lucky denver mint from time to time.

  • DangerousOne326
    DangerousOne326 4 months ago +64

    You're right about solving the root cause. Third wave feminism.
    You can't have it all, despite what's often preached. That's made abundantly clear by the guilt these moms feel when they try to do so.
    Motherhood is an incredibly exhaustive undertaking by itself. Pointing fingers at current societal norms and views ironically devalues motherhood, and does nothing to solve the underlying cause of "mom guilt."

    • Follow The Grow
      Follow The Grow 4 months ago +1

      +Jarin Jove my mom went to school to be a RN(not easy) with 2 babies and worked for Wells Fargo while being single. Whats your point? Women can do it, but when they cant bc of lack of skill, determination, and ethics they blame it on "bc im a women" pc feminist bs. Get a grip.

    • DrunkenRampage
      DrunkenRampage 4 months ago +1

      +Jarin Jove and she's advocating for more pay leave not only for women but for men (but she mostly wants more pay leave for women). Business are not going to go for this, they will end up losing a lot of money and simply decide to hire more men. She defeated her own argument.

    • Jarin Jove
      Jarin Jove 4 months ago

      +DrunkenRampage The only reason it isn't true is because there's no laws in place like with Europe for reasonable working hours, it isn't a gender issue; it's a legal and structural issue on the total failure that is the US Republic, since the working hours are insane and more people are working 2 to 3 jobs.

    • DrunkenRampage
      DrunkenRampage 4 months ago +3

      +Meera Venkatesan But now women feel that they can get a college degree, get a job, take care of a child, and do house hold chores because Feminism told women that they can do everything and have everything that they want which isn't true at all and if women attempt this, they either end up paying back tons of college debt and find it exhausting.

  • Sir Nowt
    Sir Nowt 4 months ago +17

    "Mom guilt"? Haha!