How to stop screwing yourself over | Mel Robbins | TEDxSF

  • Published on Jun 12, 2011
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    Mel Robbins is a married working mother of three, an ivy-educated criminal lawyer, and one of the top career and relationship experts in America. Widely respected for her grab-'em-by-the-collar advice and tough love, Robbins drills through the mental clutter that stands between people and what they want. Her approach is smart, effective and entertaining. Five days a week, Mel hosts her own syndicated radio show The Mel Robbins Show, discussing hot topics and giving advice to callers across America. She is starring in a new series, In-Laws, airing this summer on A&E. In addition, she writes a monthly column for Success Magazine, is a former CNBC contributor and is the co-founder of Advice for Living, Inc., which develops products and television programming with experts in the wellness, health, relationship and career categories.
    Most nights, once the kids are in bed, you'll find Mel at home with a bourbon on the rocks and her Australian Shepherd at her feet, writing about life, love and everything else on her award-winning blog:
    event video by:

Comments • 8 866

  • Kyto Katori
    Kyto Katori 3 hours ago

    I want to be able to be proud of myself.

  • TheWJC1987
    TheWJC1987 7 hours ago

    Jim Carey said when you feel depressed its your avatar telling you it doesn't like the character you're playing anymore - right on point with Mrs. Robbins and her theory about being stuck. It is a signal and its so obvious. I don't know why I posted this.

  • Banshee579
    Banshee579 13 hours ago let´s all take a minute of silence for our brother who is married to this woman.

  • Regina Zanoni
    Regina Zanoni 18 hours ago

    1/3 of Americans? I would think it would be like 99%

  • rob76kim _
    rob76kim _ 23 hours ago +1

    Her energy is AMAZING. I would love to meet her.

  • Paul
    Paul Day ago

    This is someone going after the low hanging fruit. People with real issues need more than to realize that being lazy is killing them.

  • Darrin Yahne
    Darrin Yahne Day ago

    What channel is your program on would love to listen to it thanks for pushing me to get things done

  • Zaddy Swavy
    Zaddy Swavy Day ago

    This is my first ted talk vid comment n I gotta say this the first red talk that actually touch me I guess or resonated wit me

  • Julia Olmstead
    Julia Olmstead Day ago

    She is great

  • Katheryn Kelly
    Katheryn Kelly 2 days ago

    There are different ways to approach living a quality life
    Success comes in many forms

  • Jan Matras
    Jan Matras 2 days ago

    8:08 That’s 400 billion, not trillion..

  • Raimunda Silva
    Raimunda Silva 2 days ago

    O poder do agora.

  • Florian
    Florian 2 days ago

    Actually thats not 400 trillion. It´s 400 billion. Also one seperate numbers with points, not with commas. I feel kinda embarassed for her...

  • 3minutesBooks
    3minutesBooks 2 days ago

    Nice performance , I enjoyed her book THE 5 SECOND RULE , thank you Mel :) .

  • pablo rages
    pablo rages 2 days ago

    Mel is HOT !

  • Wilcows
    Wilcows 2 days ago

    That’s 400 billion not 400 trillion. Also there’s no such thing as odds of being born, it doesnt work that way. You were born so the odds were 100%

  • akhil kumar
    akhil kumar 2 days ago

    Loved u mam speech

  • akhil kumar
    akhil kumar 2 days ago

    S 5 second s rule I'll do it ...damn it mam

  • sapphire jeanie
    sapphire jeanie 3 days ago

    Thank you

  • Zahid H Khan
    Zahid H Khan 3 days ago


  • Carrie Ann Kouri
    Carrie Ann Kouri 3 days ago

    Stay out of the comfort zone.

  • Lisa Sigmon
    Lisa Sigmon 4 days ago

    What an ANNOYING WOMAN!!!

  • Norfolk250
    Norfolk250 4 days ago

    Just get to the point!
    I’m SO tired of hearing blowhards beating about the bush.
    They’re getting paid six figures yearly being speakers... I guess it’s pay-by-the-word.

  • Diane Keller
    Diane Keller 4 days ago

  • Playonmob
    Playonmob 4 days ago

    This woman tells the audience her mizerable life with hummor

  • Kerriejames Dio
    Kerriejames Dio 4 days ago

    the only way to get what you need truly is thru gratefullness your aggressive behavior just intimidates peeps instead of motivates.

  • Tony D
    Tony D 5 days ago

    The first half was good!

    • Gary Simone
      Gary Simone 4 days ago

      What was the best suggestipn you got put of this

  • Evolution Hotline
    Evolution Hotline 5 days ago

    please help me.

  • JinwookWRLD
    JinwookWRLD 5 days ago


  • Xavier Ryan
    Xavier Ryan 6 days ago

    One of the finest presenter!

  • N!Mm0
    N!Mm0 6 days ago

    Great person but I’d of hated you being my mum by the sounds of it

  • Saruni Shuaka
    Saruni Shuaka 6 days ago

    Thanks a lot. Simply what you want will make you feel good when you get but tha process to get it is one which do not make you feel good, so i lernt to care what i want and not what i feel so am going back to write my research proposal after really being tired because i really want to finish it

  • Khanda Hussein
    Khanda Hussein 7 days ago +2

    Easier said than done.

  • Jakob Stein
    Jakob Stein 7 days ago

    But... 03:30 in the morning is soooo early.. :(

  • Paul Richards
    Paul Richards 7 days ago

    I’m bored see ya

  • Rip Al Jarreau
    Rip Al Jarreau 8 days ago

    Really ? I really don't know...

  • Ashish Yadav
    Ashish Yadav 8 days ago

    Thank you!

  • Skuddaaa Skudaaa
    Skuddaaa Skudaaa 10 days ago

    This technique has actually benefitted me in life. I remember I watched this video about a year ago and it kept me disciplined up until the point i completely forgot about Mel who actually made it. I adopted the technique so well i forgot i stole it from someone else...

  • Maria Makinen
    Maria Makinen 10 days ago

    I do not screw myself up.... tell your advice to the narcs.

  • Karishma Chaudhary
    Karishma Chaudhary 10 days ago +7

    I want to start solo traveling right now. I'm at the perfect age to begin with it and I'm gonna do it. Okay bye.

  • Alexander Agado
    Alexander Agado 10 days ago +1

    Wish this came out earlier in my life.

  • Monger Vanger
    Monger Vanger 10 days ago

    Going back to bed

    HELLS KITCHEN 10 days ago

    Here’s some advice: next time you have the impulse to ask for a standing ovation, don’t do it.

    HELLS KITCHEN 10 days ago

    Here’s what I want: to stop listening to that screechy annoying nagging I think I’m better than you voice of yours

  • Rachel Givens
    Rachel Givens 11 days ago

    I need to listen to this on repeat, lol. Just do it already!

  • Joora Pa
    Joora Pa 11 days ago

    she is utterly useless, exactly like her husband.

  • Nguyễn Trọng
    Nguyễn Trọng 12 days ago

    This is the first time i watch this video though it has been 8 yearolds. I strongly belive what she is talking doesnt deserve 17mil veiws. Why? Because she just keep talking irrelavant informations or how her life is going instead of sticking to the tedtalk topic. If this is the first time you start this video and you are checking comment, i sincerely advise you to stop it and search for another motivation ted.

  • Coco, My Heart
    Coco, My Heart 12 days ago

    I want to be loved, adored, respected and protected by him....but he's in prison

    • EXO L
      EXO L 4 days ago

      Coco, My Heart we-

  • annie katharine
    annie katharine 13 days ago

    omfg I needed all of this advice so bad

  • Coral Cashes
    Coral Cashes 13 days ago +10

    My former counselor told me that FINE stands for "F-ed up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional". Every time I'd come in and say "I'm fine" she would say that to me and make me change my answer LOL

  • Perla Nemoto
    Perla Nemoto 13 days ago +1

    Will you mean... I can get what I want from you? hmmmm... (smile)... I am satisfied in my life but I'm still want to get some more...

  • Simon Watts
    Simon Watts 14 days ago

    Just enjoy what you do

  • A !
    A ! 14 days ago +2

    The problem is I don't know what I really want:(

    • Dani
      Dani 2 days ago

      A ! Same here! Too many things and like she said, I can’t choose 😣

  • Expanding Universe Creations

    I have an excellent Subliminal Affirmation / Binaural / Isochronic / Hypnotic Mind Reprogramming Recordings channel that many of you may find very useful in reprogramming your minds to use the law of attraction to your advantage !!! Check it out if you are interested, a wide variety of recordings for various interests / goals are already in use and getting great feedback !!! Thanks everyone Much Love

  • mailorlee2
    mailorlee2 14 days ago

    Wait. I had to freeze this video at 8:08. Did she say four hundred trillion? I keep looking at those zeros and all I see are four sets of them, which would only make it to four hundred billion, right? Hmmm, maybe she literally did crunch those numbers.

  • Lagu Stephen
    Lagu Stephen 14 days ago

    Well, she's done very good marketing for her book. Imagine how many people ran to buy her book "Stop saying you are Fine" There is nothing that convinces me on what you want to get to do other than working working smartly hard.

  • chaitanya lohia
    chaitanya lohia 15 days ago

    This blowed my mind. I am so grateful to Mel Robbins , TEDX & RU-clip where one can watch it for free.

  • Shiny Heart
    Shiny Heart 16 days ago +5

    Pain is inevitable.
    Now, you have the Power to choose what you do with this ultimate truth.
    I would recommend to choose to embrace that pain as it is. Happiness will be the by-product of pain. But just choose pain for what it is rather than a means to obtain happiness.
    I read 64 pages of a book that I was putting off in an hour. I rode my bicycle extra 3 km this morning.
    I have embraced and accepted the pain as it is and I will definitely going to continue doing it.
    All the Best!👍

  • Mildred Harrison
    Mildred Harrison 16 days ago


  • Kirstine Termansen
    Kirstine Termansen 17 days ago

    Hi women,,,

  • Kirstine Termansen
    Kirstine Termansen 17 days ago

    Turn down electric
    Then you, 20 years older, wiser, and. Hugg on Einterteinmemt media
    Moopster, political

  • 7チェチェナ
    7チェチェナ 17 days ago


  • mery fet
    mery fet 18 days ago

    Best motivational video I’ve ever seen. She’s s just amazing.

  • Priyanka Paul Real Estate

    Ffff was my time to get back in the morning and then I rheudgdhshdbdhfdjrbrvejrvejrei

  • Beanie Bots
    Beanie Bots 18 days ago

    I must remember to save this and watch it at least once a month!

  • Denisa Lazureanu
    Denisa Lazureanu 19 days ago +8

    My teacher used to say that the only way to be happy is to "do the things you don't want to do when you don't want to do them".
    I never really understood what she meant. How can doing what I don't want to do make me happy when I can just do something that makes me happy!
    But, I think I understand what that means now and this video definitely helped me.

  • ayumu k.
    ayumu k. 19 days ago


  • K Doc
    K Doc 19 days ago +4

    1. Click 18:32
    2. Wait a second
    3. Repeat

  • Derek Hansen
    Derek Hansen 19 days ago +1

    @TEDx Talks Can we get some professionals to manage the live creative process? Lighting and camera work is terrible. Such easy fixes. Over 10 years of creative live production management. I would be happy to help!!

  • Anaghaa Viswanathan
    Anaghaa Viswanathan 19 days ago

    This. Is. Great.

  • Kate Eberle
    Kate Eberle 19 days ago +1

    Her kids are gonna be awesome

  • Iammyselfhere
    Iammyselfhere 19 days ago

    400 billion*

  • A.J. Nelson
    A.J. Nelson 19 days ago +15

    Reading comments made me realize where not alone and most of us feel the same in life.

    • chrislyn keuangsavath
      chrislyn keuangsavath 18 days ago +4

      A.J. Nelson yes! And it’s a relief to me. I’m always screwing my self over in school and it makes me stressed and disappointed in myself.. but I realize that I’m not the only who is struggling with this or just other situations. Us people who are struggling are still trying to understand and learn how to manage things properly without any problems. Learn from it.

  • Randiriel
    Randiriel 19 days ago

    I want freedom. I want the freedom to do what I want when I want. If I change my mind I want the freedom to pursue the new path in my sights. I want freedom from self esteem issues and financial issues and any other issues, I want whatever path strikes my fancy to be available to me.

  • SilverAle
    SilverAle 19 days ago

    She gets derailed non stop to talk about family and kitchen coz shes on autopilot. Mostly misleading and idiotic content disguised as science

  • Mark Angelo Gozon
    Mark Angelo Gozon 20 days ago

    How much did Nike pay for this ad?

  • Kamaljit Singh
    Kamaljit Singh 20 days ago +3

    omg she telling what i need to hear. im cryinnngggg

  • Sheena Oates
    Sheena Oates 21 day ago +1

    I'm so late watching this video, but I must say that this is profound for me. Now that I know that there is a force working against me, i feel like I can better battle that force. Especially since I realize that as soon as I get past it, I will feel great!! Thank you for this :)

  • Kaustubh Gupta
    Kaustubh Gupta 22 days ago

    Life changing talk
    Simply mesmerizing

  • Dee A
    Dee A 22 days ago

    The title is good but very disappointing content

  • Dee A
    Dee A 22 days ago

    Oh god this person is very uninspiring. So negative. Like a lecture

  • Saurabh Gusain
    Saurabh Gusain 23 days ago +1

    Did anybody notice on the screen it showed four hundred billion and not four hundred trillion?

  • Cyndi Cruz
    Cyndi Cruz 23 days ago +1

    WoW!!!! Great Speaker 👍!

  • Roberto Patrick Lauber RPL

    Woooooooow Awesome and Helpful

  • joinmiami
    joinmiami 23 days ago

    The best TED Talk ever! Thanks!

  • Verne Fits
    Verne Fits 23 days ago +1

    Emergency break!!

  • Ian Ting
    Ian Ting 23 days ago

    Find! means action just do it n find out how to do it n achieve

  • Miracle Joy
    Miracle Joy 24 days ago

    Why is this title so F nny to me?

  • Mark Webster
    Mark Webster 26 days ago

    That's the kind of woman I need!

  • Wasif Tajwar
    Wasif Tajwar 26 days ago

    Its about forcing urself to do sumthing

  • Ridwan osman
    Ridwan osman 26 days ago +3

    After the first two minutes of the video I left to search for what I want .
    Then I came back after 2 hours .

    I found nothing 😢

  • Jonadab Vargas
    Jonadab Vargas 26 days ago

    I want the world

  • Jennifer W
    Jennifer W 27 days ago +1

    Based on this, is this why people in bad situations, like in toxic relationships, they don't leave it?

  • theCrpldOrphnPrjct
    theCrpldOrphnPrjct 27 days ago

    i'd like someone like her in the bedroom.

  • BTbleSsed
    BTbleSsed 27 days ago

    So I have a crush on my best friend... I am pretty sure he likes me too but we’re both too nervous to make a move. Next time we have a special moment alone I’m going to count down from five and kiss him

    JATIN S W 27 days ago +1

    This video changed my perspective on life!! Jay is awesome and so is Nole! Love them ☺️

    JATIN S W 27 days ago +4

    The 5 sec rule is simply awesome implementing!! Thanks to superb Mel!! 😎

  • Kerami Roberts
    Kerami Roberts 28 days ago +271

    Gosh darn it. This video made me wash my hair at 2 in the morning....
    I'm disabled so that's hard for me... But... I felt the urge as my hair was mingling a d went for it.
    My hair is now lovely.

    • candycain1001
      candycain1001 5 days ago +1

      Wonderful! You deserve loveliness in your everyday life, we all do. I need my 2am moment too, I hope we all get more of them .

    • Chelsea Irving
      Chelsea Irving 8 days ago +2

      I have fibromyalgia and I this video made me get up off the couch and do some laundry so I'm with you there!

    • McRascal
      McRascal 8 days ago +1

      Awww that’s inspiring ❤️❤️❤️

    • ketaki upadhye
      ketaki upadhye 18 days ago +1

      That's really amazing

    • Kaustubh Gupta
      Kaustubh Gupta 22 days ago +6

      I am watching it at 2 a.m. And i want to change my life right now

  • Ashley Danielle
    Ashley Danielle 28 days ago

    1: 400,000,000,000? mhm

  • Dominique Sweeney
    Dominique Sweeney 28 days ago +1

    I really thought tedtalks were how to guides but I'm realizing it's just people sharing their experiences. Not actionable solutions like I was hoping for. Why would that be given for free😂

    • Katheryn Kelly
      Katheryn Kelly 2 days ago

      I've found it a good place to keep my finger on the pulse of the quickly expanding consciousness that is taking place