The Simple Cure for Loneliness | Baya Voce | TEDxSaltLakeCity

  • Опубликовано: 7 окт 2016
  • Baya Voce is the host of "The Art of Connection", a web series looking to experts from across the globe on how to the live your most fulfilled life. In this TEDx talk, Baya reveals a simple tool you can start using today to create more happiness, fulfillment, and connection.
    Baya's business journey started as a cast member on MTV's The Real World where her interest in relationships was nurtured. She transformed her TV exposure into an entrepreneurial adventure, learning early on how the power of one strong connection can transform your life and career. Her inherent belief that the quality of your relationships equals the quality of your life and that your network is your net worth, led her to her interest in connection, community, and relationships. For the past decade she has studied connection in three pillars: connection with yourself, your partner, and your community. She is a Dating and Relationship Coach, founder of Secret SLC, co-founder of Womenpreneurs and hosts a monthly segment on ABC as Utah's Relationship Specialist. Baya is a Certified Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner, studies Emotional Intelligence, Positive Psychology, and Body Language, and mentors under intimacy and relationship experts.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Комментарии • 4 750

  • Jasleen S
    Jasleen S День назад

    but its so hard to ask people to listen to my problems, and to be vulnerable

  • numbereightyseven
    numbereightyseven День назад

    She's clueless.

  • Sky Liu
    Sky Liu День назад

    is she talking about loneliness or being alone

  • Linda Liang
    Linda Liang 3 дня назад

    This is so not realistic! Think of money, time and people who care or have time to hear each other.

  • Charles Pispisano
    Charles Pispisano 4 дня назад

    America does not represent the world. Give us statistics that are universally applicable.

  • mcash82
    mcash82 4 дня назад +1

    The title should be "Disaster Talks"! I couldn't disagree more, in order to socialize you take off the only thing that really matter, which is the only secret that this blue zones are carrying, which is being spontaneous and genuine. This is just the way you have found to cure your unstable relation with your boyfriend and to tie your old friends to you. You're not looking for a way to meet new people how can this be called "cure for loneliness"? You create your own church, filled with your fear of loosing your close ones, bounded by a strict routine which sooner or later is going to crumble and then your therapist have to find another solution for you. But the last advice is just over the top, don't do something new 😂😂😂 absolutely insane! Is the exact opposite, do new things, challenge your fears, get out of your close group of friends and meet new people, you'll discover a new yourself more funny, outgoing, brave you'll start appreciate the differences and to love them and mostly to smile more and consequently to live longer! I mean , speechless who gave this girl a microphone? 😂

  • ReDoX ReDoX
    ReDoX ReDoX 4 дня назад

    Nobody cares about me so why should accept them. Some days I have to stay busy to keep from killing myself cause pain is so bad. I got to the point where human touch is a foreign concept. I show no emotion or no longer can feel anything.

  • ReDoX ReDoX
    ReDoX ReDoX 4 дня назад

    Reality TV is fake its scripted.

  • Lord Hawkin
    Lord Hawkin 4 дня назад

    How to cure loneliness: get less lonely. How to cure depression: go out and have fun. How to cure arachnophobia: befreind with a spider. She has a solution to everything.

  • Farmboy1544
    Farmboy1544 5 дней назад

    Okay, so the key to getting out of loneliness is to give your time away in a positive way to someone. It's not more simple than that. Give your time to your: bf/gf, bff, friends, family, and lastly or firstly strangers. That is what she is saying.

  • Yael Webber
    Yael Webber 6 дней назад

    Ok lady you have friends, family, people to have rituals with and travel with, you’re life looks like a chick flick, that’s nice for you

  • Yael Webber
    Yael Webber 6 дней назад

    Ok this didn’t help me , if I had these friends and family and girls to be on the couch with I wouldn’t be here looking for answers, I’m here because I’m having trouble communicating and connecting

  • Gnome
    Gnome 6 дней назад

    im an extrovert but i go to a very small school and only surround myself with people because i have to but none of them value me and none of them are any fun, im counting down the days to when i graduate, 3 years from now :(

  • Purple Cow Movement
    Purple Cow Movement 8 дней назад

    Is it possible to be lonely if you grew up in a healthy environment with a loving and supportive family? And you can easily say that your life was for the most part a smooth ride?

  • Jacob Boyle
    Jacob Boyle 8 дней назад +1

    This is how many subscribers pewdiepie is ahead of tseries

  • The _ AsTROLLmech
    The _ AsTROLLmech 8 дней назад

    *raises hand* "..." *raises hand*

  • Theodore Ps
    Theodore Ps 8 дней назад

    What if I am social and I keep touch with my friends, but deep inside I feel so alone something missing (...) Hope to find it🤔

  • LolifreakSoap
    LolifreakSoap 9 дней назад

    The titel is not quite right. The tipp introduced in this video is not a cure, it's a preemtive measure, one of strengthening and improving. Just like exercising is really good to secure and improve your health - but it's no cure for a broken leg.
    I think this is actually a good advice for a lot of people, people with a fairly healthy social life. But with this title it will hardly reach/rouse intrerest of many of them, but instead disappoints those who don't.

  • Kristof Montero
    Kristof Montero 10 дней назад

    I did not learn anything new. I only saw an irresponsible attention-grabber who showed up on stage to raise her ego. Worst TED video I've seen.

  • Sandy Nguyen
    Sandy Nguyen 10 дней назад

    Her definition of loneliness is when someone she has a connection with doesn’t pay attention to her for more than a second. Entitled.

  • VidiSensiVici
    VidiSensiVici 10 дней назад

    The simple cure to loneliness is to have a relationship with God and to live with God and in God throughout our journey, and to keep on learning, exercising, working out with weights regularly to be flexible, to be fit, to be healthy, to always find reasons to smile either by helping someone, to better the environment, to better ourselves, to be creative, to write a song, or to sing a song, or just doing something for fun to surround ourselves with laughter, etc...

    MEHDI 11 дней назад

    I'm so lonely I just want to hug someone

  • 911SGY
    911SGY 11 дней назад

    Women be crazy

  • Taylor Edwards
    Taylor Edwards 11 дней назад

    Hi everyone

  • dana
    dana 11 дней назад

    must be nice to have real friends and a healthy relationship

    • Sceptical Guitarist
      Sceptical Guitarist 11 дней назад

      agree completely dana this person has no idea what they're talikng about

  • Victoria Frank
    Victoria Frank 11 дней назад

    lol go back to what? I've never had many friends... should I ritualize crying in bed alone?

    • Sceptical Guitarist
      Sceptical Guitarist 11 дней назад

      I hear you and know exactly where you're coming from

  • AdamsCzech
    AdamsCzech 11 дней назад +2

    She was lonely for 10 minutes and thinks she knows it all...i came here depressed, now im depressed and pissed off...

  • Chase Matthews
    Chase Matthews 11 дней назад

    It is impossible for a woman to understand the loneliness of a man deemed disposable. Women are valued by society, men aren’t given that same love and attention.

  • hairybax
    hairybax 12 дней назад

    Did she said a new thing?

  • Jee Jee
    Jee Jee 13 дней назад

    when the thoughts of the people in the comment section help more than the speaker.

  • Ruben James
    Ruben James 13 дней назад +1

    Everyone should get to know one another in the comment section.

  • M J
    M J 14 дней назад

    But what if the things you "go back to" are the things that hurt you in the long run?

  • odel levi
    odel levi 14 дней назад

    Wtf is that a stand up show??

  • MayaA scarlet
    MayaA scarlet 14 дней назад

    And what about when you don’t have friends? This was the least helpful video ever
    You have friendsssss and a partner and you’re lonely?

  • 7620313
    7620313 15 дней назад


  • Jamie C. YW
    Jamie C. YW 16 дней назад

    Can't stop staring at her muscular biceps

  • Slim Shady
    Slim Shady 16 дней назад

    I’m extremely depressed tbh idk how to deal with it

  • Yanal Chadli
    Yanal Chadli 16 дней назад

    It’s like a giant hole

  • M Frusciante
    M Frusciante 16 дней назад

    There should be a gathering for lonely people. I think I'd be much more inclined to go somewhere and meet someone if I knew they were admittedly lonely like me.

  • M Frusciante
    M Frusciante 16 дней назад

    Human relationships are soo difficult, yet vital. Blessed are the ones who have an innate ability to make friends.

  • Steve's Guitar Stuff
    Steve's Guitar Stuff 16 дней назад

    Ooh couldn't make it to the end.

  • James Michaels
    James Michaels 17 дней назад

    4:24 GB has vanished

  • Anish Chandra
    Anish Chandra 17 дней назад

    He views are gender bias

  • Apple Inc
    Apple Inc 17 дней назад

    I think happiness and mediation can really help loneliness. A new mind shouldn't know what negative thoughts and feelings are, I guess when you utilise time on your terms for comfort, it keeps your mind off the spiral effect loneliness creates. They say loneliness takes years off your life for a reason, and well, happiness probably adds some. I believe it is becoming harder to live a happy life in todays society, in terms of social interaction, its just too easy to look at a phone and get from it what you will, but i think thats not a good long term fix, and its sad knowing that through generations loneliness will become more popular, just got to take control of whatever is holding you back and stop it asap and create more good than bad is my guess.

  • FMAiscool
    FMAiscool 18 дней назад

    Except when I've lost that source of connection. I know it'll get better in time while I find new people to talk to, but I can't do anything right now. I'm not even supposed to talk to my coworkers.

  • Trash Void
    Trash Void 18 дней назад


  • bluemermaiid
    bluemermaiid 18 дней назад

    I'm really glad I have the habit of reading comments before watching videos, seems like i dodged a bullet on this one.

  • S Lane
    S Lane 19 дней назад

    You obviously have a partner and a whole group of friends (from your speech and photo) and you did not provide any information for those who REALLY are alone. Don't complain or mock your significant other and family. Be grateful you have them.

  • doom nipple
    doom nipple 19 дней назад

    This Ted talk is more for people who are social but still feel lonely, not for people who are actually alone. Not great, need to consider the audience better

  • khushi RJ
    khushi RJ 19 дней назад

    Connection huh?? I cannot even connect to the talk itself. Even in crowd .. even with a partner. .I felt loneliness. .. if I feel my existence doesn't matter...I am lonely. But if I feel so and still don't give a damn, then I am alone but not lonely.

  • Renee
    Renee 20 дней назад

    I have close friends and coworkers, but they all have partners; they care about me but I'm not their #1 priority. I don't have family or a partner. I go on dates sometimes, but it's hard finding people when I have chronic pain that requires me to rest in bed for much of the day. Exes have liked me, so I don't think I'm undateable but more that I just don't meet many new people. I'm happy in so many ways with the life I've built, but I wish that I felt less lonely. As an introvert, it takes a lot of energy to go to group activities but that seems like a good way to meet people if you can hang out with the group a few times and then try to be friends or partners outside of the group.

  • DaNitro21
    DaNitro21 21 день назад

    She has no clue

  • Shayan
    Shayan 21 день назад

    There is no cure for loneliness , you either lonely or not .
    If you're lonely , maybe death will cure you ...

  • Never Beaten
    Never Beaten 22 дня назад

    Yea but im really lonely, age 33 no real friends, no best friend, no lover and cant fall in love. All i got is my family or id die

  • Sumukhi Devi
    Sumukhi Devi 22 дня назад

    This talk is making me sad

  • Ash Seouls
    Ash Seouls 23 дня назад +2

    *It's like she's sprinkling salt on wounds and the fact that when people in comment section is more lovely and understanding than the people physically present around you..* 💔

  • Anna Ly
    Anna Ly 23 дня назад

    The comments section makes me feel a lot better

  • Farshad N
    Farshad N 23 дня назад +1

    She is like my ex-girlfriend, she keeps aimlessly talking about different things and finally reaches a conclusion that the moon is flat and cows fly. How the heck it helps a person with no family around, no friends, no social life and nothing exciting in life? .... Sorry for TED for this cheesy stuff

  • Jessica Christina
    Jessica Christina 23 дня назад

    I loved this talk. Thank you!

  • Rickus Kruger
    Rickus Kruger 24 дня назад

    I feel lonely during my off time. Living in a foreign country makes it harder to find this community you speak of

  • Sanvi Jain
    Sanvi Jain 24 дня назад

    Thanks for wasting my time cause you clearly don't know what loneliness feels like

    DAVID FRANKLIN 25 дней назад

    We live in a world of takers. We often get what we give.

  • Sank London
    Sank London 25 дней назад

    I want a woman like her would put smiles on my face everytime I felt lonley 😔

  • Jennifer
    Jennifer 26 дней назад

    Useless... if I had connection, I wouldn't listen to this

  • Jack Rollin
    Jack Rollin 26 дней назад

    Why do so many of us feel this way and understand each other, yet not a single person I know is able to understand me? That’s all I want, to speak and have the words that are coming out of my mouth be understood by another, that’s it. Is it intelligence? is it understanding? is it empathy? Communication has always been the worst thing in my entire life since I was born. All I want is understanding of my opinion, no one i know has had a solution for a true long term solution for this. Feeling good after talking to someone than 5 minutes later being to to how you were before, how do I fix this?😭

  • sir420 Rawrdank
    sir420 Rawrdank 26 дней назад

    Well this ted-talk was anticlimactic

  • hermione2611 K
    hermione2611 K 27 дней назад +1

    The comment section is so reassuring, it actually helped me more than the video, thank you xxx

  • VRH Khan
    VRH Khan 28 дней назад

    For all loners I am making a Instagram group , so we can support each other . Drop in ur Ids if you wanna join

  • Gautam Nag
    Gautam Nag 28 дней назад +2

    This video is like a fish teaching me how to climb a tree

  • Gautam Nag
    Gautam Nag 28 дней назад

    This is not Ted Talks...... This is Ted comments..... 🙆

  • Majda Majda
    Majda Majda 28 дней назад +2

    I wish I had a friend. Someone who would laugh with me, hang out with, to give hugs to that friend. I always see people hanging out with their best buddies,but NOT me. I have depression and currently is depressed because I am lonely and empty Thanks in advanc

  • Kyle Shannon
    Kyle Shannon 28 дней назад

    if i dont get a new best friemd from thos comment them this video is a failure

  • Ann
    Ann 28 дней назад

    Bad Title.

  • Johnny Resto
    Johnny Resto 29 дней назад

    This was the first video I’ve ever disliked

  • Aleksandr Vinkler
    Aleksandr Vinkler 29 дней назад +1

    What if you don't have anyone, a small family, and a handful of friends? What if no matter who you are with you feel deeply disconnected and alone...even when others care for you. Sadly loneliness is the human condition. Ironically it's what unites us and brings us together.

  • Ally Castle
    Ally Castle Месяц назад

    Wow thank you for this!!!

  • sid love
    sid love Месяц назад +1

    i disagree that you have to stay in the same social circle to feel less lonely.. sometimes you need to get away in order to grow away from the loneliness that a group of people make you feel

  • Aditya Patnaik
    Aditya Patnaik Месяц назад +2

    one of the worst TED talks

  • Rebecca B
    Rebecca B Месяц назад

    This woman has no clue

  • Christine Lovley
    Christine Lovley Месяц назад

    I'm so lonely, All relationships I make just don't work! What's wrong with me?

    • elizabeth hollins
      elizabeth hollins 24 дня назад

      You might have attachment disorder. I just learned about it for myself. Or explains the problems i have with friendships/relationships.

  • Chris B
    Chris B Месяц назад +1

    She means well but this advice is worthless to anyone who is actually lonely and isolated.

  • Unavailable Hero
    Unavailable Hero Месяц назад

    What friends?

  • BANG
    BANG Месяц назад +1

    Cant wait for Part 2: Stop Being Poor by Making More Money
    Seriously, just take down this video. The comment section has more worth than the cascade of bs pouring out of the speaker.

  • John John
    John John Месяц назад +1

    Sorry, ffs ted talk if there ever was. She’s totally disassociated with isolated ‘loneliness’ love the way she keeps saying ‘we’ ? We and she’s lonely f o !

  • Xiaozhou Lou
    Xiaozhou Lou Месяц назад

    she sounds ingenue, not good speaker.

  • Tyler The Creator
    Tyler The Creator Месяц назад

    It's a cat
    Edit: the cat cures the loneliness

  • P Pumpkin
    P Pumpkin Месяц назад

    I am alone but not lonely. To feel a need to be connected is a disease. So many people affiliate with groups and people that contradict their basic principals to satisfy this drug. Go feel free to do your own thing and not worry who cares about it.

  • Whistling Maniac
    Whistling Maniac Месяц назад +1

    this woman is completely oblivious lol.
    basically spent 13 minutes saying "just stop being lonely lol"

  • fly fantasy
    fly fantasy Месяц назад

    I knew I had terrible anxiety but I never knew how bad it was until I went to college. I couldn't function properly or interact well. Some people didn't notice but others did. It got so bad I dropped out.

  • Batwoman
    Batwoman Месяц назад

    Having anxiety sometimes feels like the most loneliest thing and I know other ppl suffer from it too but this doesn't help me feel any better

  • Bryan A Cabrera
    Bryan A Cabrera Месяц назад

    i like anime you should all see Naruto

  • Nabilah Rahmadita
    Nabilah Rahmadita Месяц назад

    why so many hate comments? this is a great talk. i'm an introvert, let me assure you, i am not anything like her but her points are true. i may nor have as much friend as she does but the cure is the same.

  • Nabilah Rahmadita
    Nabilah Rahmadita Месяц назад

    this is so true and i wanna cry bc how true this is. i also came from a lonely place and always craving for new things to fulfil my loneliness until i met someone that pour me with ritual connection like that :) and let me tell you, it is as simple as having one meal together no matter how busy the day is

  • L0neWanderer
    L0neWanderer Месяц назад

    This is a joke.

    • V Singularity
      V Singularity Месяц назад

      You had no empathy for this poor woman whatsoever? She felt like kinda lonely there for a moment!

  • Aparna Madhusoodanan
    Aparna Madhusoodanan Месяц назад +1

    The best cure for loneliness is to make peace with oneself. It's not everyday that you run into someone who will think you are precious. And you don't always get to meet people who wish to stay with you. So make peace with yourself. Every individual is loveable...but the truth is that no one is really interested to put in the time and effort to get to know you unless you are extremely beautiful or popular or good at something that excites them. So first of clean your surroundings...arrange your room...get yourself a nice warm some selfcare...indulge in some sweet well in studies...get busy with work that make you feel you have done something worth at the end of the day and didnt waste your time. Now look in the mirror and give a very bright smile to yourself...beaming with confidence. Now go out. Join activities you like...maybe some volunteering work...or maybe a drawing class, a dance lesson, gym(but i won't preffer gym, people at gym rarely talk to each other) anyway do something with a group of people...maybe baking...but while you are at it...give your 100%, be sincere with your work. Be warm and approachable to people. Just be kind. Yes help the lady with her luggage, help out the person next to you to switch on the whatever it takes. Thats how you build yourself. Be careful to be yourself. Don't be arrogant...or don't do anything to showoff...Don't brag. When you start to get some attention from people, be patient. Now you will get to meet a lot of people. Next step is to realize who all you can vibe with. Anyways just remember one more thing...not everyone will stay with you forever. So while you have it, enjoy it. Also you are worthy of being trusted and loved so stay cool if someone leaves you. As long as you are warm person people need you

  • greyseal7
    greyseal7 Месяц назад

    such B S

  • Irena
    Irena Месяц назад +1

    The thing with me is that I'm an introvert, but I still get lonely. It's hard for me to talk to people, and when there's a lot of people just socializing with each other (in instances where I can't relate to them), I just feel lonely and left out, and when that happens, I just feel like withdrawing away even more and just wanting to be by myself with no one to disturb me, but the loneliness is still there.

  • Heiner Buchholz
    Heiner Buchholz Месяц назад +4

    I felt lonelier after watching this video.

  • Gabriel Guzman
    Gabriel Guzman Месяц назад

    Sadly someone like her probably on her worst day has someone not looking in her direction. I'm sure someone like her has and can get any support she wants and why? Because of her status and appearance..... Unfortunately not everyone can be in her position even if you do work at it. She's in the 20% of fame and fortune that 80% of us will never reach

  • Ivan Bryan
    Ivan Bryan Месяц назад +1

    I love being alone 😊