How to Have a Good Conversation | Celeste Headlee | TEDxCreativeCoast

  • Опубликовано: 7 май 2015
  • When your job hinges on how well you talk to people, you learn a lot about how to have great conversations - and most of us don’t converse very well. A great conversation requires a balance between talking and listening. This balance is important because bad communication leads to bad relationships, at home, at work, everywhere.
    Celeste Headlee has worked in public radio since 1999, as a reporter, host, and correspondent. She was the Midwest Correspondent for NPR before becoming the co-host of the PRI show The Takeaway. She also guest hosted a number of NPR shows including Tell Me More, Talk of the Nation, Weekend All Things Considered, and Weekend Edition.

    Celeste holds multiple degrees in music and still performs as a professional opera singer. She's the granddaughter of composer William Grant Still, the Dean of African American Composers. Celeste is an avid hiker, biker, paddler and dog walker.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at

Комментарии • 1 381

  • Evangel Anyanwu
    Evangel Anyanwu 8 часов назад

    Conversation is important in our daily life in marriage, work, school, leadership skills. Great one ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • Chris Toro
    Chris Toro День назад

    Processing informations

  • Koren Reyes
    Koren Reyes 2 дня назад

    Fantastic. Love you even more

  • Massimo Bozzi
    Massimo Bozzi 2 дня назад +1

    I hate how much people interrupt. I leave most conversations unsatisfied because I end up shutting up to avoid interrupting, but most people don't return the favor.

  • Bren Bunes
    Bren Bunes 2 дня назад

    Thank you. I listened.

  • Jagdamba Nautiyal
    Jagdamba Nautiyal 3 дня назад

    good one

  • Tara Keebler
    Tara Keebler 4 дня назад

    I'm surpised of how good of a communicater I am

  • Allison Grasso
    Allison Grasso 4 дня назад

    I'm struggling to understand number 8? What are "the weeds??"

    • Allison Grasso
      Allison Grasso 2 дня назад

      +Michael Jones thank you!

    • Michael Jones
      Michael Jones 3 дня назад

      To say that a conversation is "getting stuck in the weeds" means that it's getting bogged down with unnecessary or insignificant details. The weeds are a metaphor for things we don't care about.

  • Lakshmy Iyer
    Lakshmy Iyer 5 дней назад


  • BuzzaB77
    BuzzaB77 5 дней назад

    great talk, only just discovered it. And also astonished this advice was available BEFORE the Cathy Newman / Jordan Peterson interview!

  • SpitfireMustang
    SpitfireMustang 6 дней назад +1

    Notes from video:
    1. Don’t be half in half out of the conversation. Be in it or out of it.
    2. Don’t pontificate. Stating an opinion without the opportunity for response, argument or discussion. Enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. Set aside your personal opinion. Everyone you meet knows something that you don’t. Everyone is an expert in something.
    3. Who, what, where, when, how? Let them describe it.
    4. Go with the flow. Thoughts will come and go.
    5. If you don’t know, say that you don’t know. Talk should not be cheap.
    6. Don’t equate your experience with theirs. If they’re talking about the time they lost a family member, don’t start talking about the time you lost a family member. If they start talking about the trouble they’re having at work, don’t start talking about how you hate your job. It’s never the same. All experiences are individual.
    7. Try not to repeat yourself. It can come across as condescending and it’s really boring. We tend to do it a lot in work situations and conversations with our kids.
    8. Stay out of the weeds. People don’t care about the minutiae. What they care about is you.
    9. Listen. This is the most important.
    • If your mouth is open you’re not learning - Budda and every Dad there ever was.
    • No man ever listened his way out of a job - Calvin Coolidge.
    10. Be brief.
    • A good conversation is like a mini skirt; short enough to maintain interest, but long enough to cover the subject.
    Be interested in other people.
    Everyone has some hidden amazing thing about them.
    Go out, talk to people and prepare to be amazed.

  • Carlos Coreno
    Carlos Coreno 6 дней назад +1

    2 types of conversation
    Fake conversation: skilled conversationalist(most likeley like a manipulator or fake person. Like a salesperson/real estate person. Most likely study psychology to get in your head and get to know what kind of person you are.
    Real conversation: someone you feel a connection with naturally(this doesnt happen with everyone its life ppl get over it. To appeal and conversate with your interest
    Id rather be a real one💯 thats why i work warehouse i hate talking to people but these are fun to watch😂

  • theshantyman
    theshantyman 6 дней назад

    thanks, well presented.

  • CCM_Hockey71
    CCM_Hockey71 6 дней назад +1

    Using Bill nye as a quote..... Lol you just lost me

  • Solange Elkallassi
    Solange Elkallassi 6 дней назад

    Guess both people in the conversation have to know these rules if they’re both extroverts or chatty ha

  • Corinne Cothern
    Corinne Cothern 7 дней назад

    Always be prepared to be amazed! Or as the poet/seer Rumi is said to have said, "Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment." 🌀

  • Maxxi Sonderbar
    Maxxi Sonderbar 7 дней назад

    she's so beautiful and intelligent

  • Pegasus
    Pegasus 7 дней назад

    Lily Tomlin (or, more correctly, one of her characters) said that there are two activities that take place during a conversation: talking ... and waiting to talk.

  • Jannet Acosta
    Jannet Acosta 9 дней назад

    My only problem is I'm Anti-Social.

  • Patii
    Patii 9 дней назад

    The most beautiful in that talk is, that she expirenced emazingness of that eople and this is reason why she can now share with us this feeling

  • lockerdogs
    lockerdogs 9 дней назад


  • Alan Mott-Smith
    Alan Mott-Smith 10 дней назад

    Ever in history? 1:05 There is only one way to know that. You would have to be in every single previous civilization to even pretend to say that. Let's go ask Julius Caesar how polarized his kingdom was. Oh yeah, that's right we can't because JULIUS CAESAR IS DEAD. Lady, I get what you're trying to do, but you're falling into the same traps to make yourself something you're not and do not know just like the corrupt politicians and lawmakers do. Stop it, and change your meds.

  • Nikkia Hunter
    Nikkia Hunter 11 дней назад

    This was awesome! Thank you for sharing.

  • ValtronW
    ValtronW 11 дней назад

    The problem with discussing politics is that I've heard most, if not all, of the other side's arguments and I already have a rebuttal. I think what's more interesting is discovering WHY people think the way they do- it usually has to do with their life experiences. That's a more interesting discussion to be had.

  • Ehud Kinglord
    Ehud Kinglord 12 дней назад

    Nice talk

  • Cyril Hehir
    Cyril Hehir 13 дней назад

    When you used the words "Please God" without offending anybody", you probably offended a lot of people. Jut saying.
    Great video. Thanks for posting

  • MitchWins
    MitchWins 13 дней назад

    I enjoyed listening to this alot. I try to have the same mind set. That i can learn new tbings from others. But if I'm listening to the conversation and its going no where and I'm not interested. Then I beleive you have nothing to offer. At the same time its on us. Because if people can't speak or explain their thoughts accordingly, then i will begin to lose interest in the conversation. I am practicing to listen and understand more, it is a little difficult when people dont have the patience to listen or explain themselves..
    This has encouraged me to initiate more conversations, and to fully listen more.

  • Haesook Kim
    Haesook Kim 14 дней назад


  • Bri Terry
    Bri Terry 14 дней назад +1

    Can someone paraphrase what she said I'm writing a blog.

  • marta monroe
    marta monroe 14 дней назад


  • axiom
    axiom 14 дней назад

    definately listening to this again

  • Harmony Builder
    Harmony Builder 14 дней назад

    I'm amazed.

  • Mike
    Mike 15 дней назад

    People used to socialize, get together, hang around, and talk for hours.. all that time we spend in social media today, we would spend it interacting with others.. technology is a double edge sword

  • Yooseon Hwang
    Yooseon Hwang 15 дней назад

    everybody is expert in something. I'm not.

  • Djoni Joensen
    Djoni Joensen 15 дней назад +1

    Why unfriend people if they are rude to something point less ? 🤭 i dont understan 🤐

  • gau ri
    gau ri 15 дней назад +1


  • SJtheMFZB
    SJtheMFZB 16 дней назад

    Yay. This one was good. :)

  • Jack Hemenez
    Jack Hemenez 16 дней назад

    I'm too bored to watch this do I'll just ask my girl when she started puberty

  • siup zium ciach
    siup zium ciach 16 дней назад

    all of this is so true, great speech.

  • Arooba Siddiqui
    Arooba Siddiqui 16 дней назад

    i am amazed! what an amazing talk.

  • Marchiano
    Marchiano 16 дней назад


  • briN messy_eh
    briN messy_eh 17 дней назад

    Is emily grossman the only ted talk with comments disabled?

  • Francesco Saverio Comisso
    Francesco Saverio Comisso 17 дней назад


  • Antonio Evans
    Antonio Evans 17 дней назад

    She has been by far my favorite TED speaker. I'm definitely going to follow any of her future speeches.

  • Red Moon
    Red Moon 17 дней назад

    The average person speaks about 225 words per minute, How are we listening 500 words per minute

  • Philo Beddoe
    Philo Beddoe 17 дней назад

    only bad thing is the clicking of her earring in the mic.

  • Astrid Olin
    Astrid Olin 18 дней назад


  • Ravneet Kaur
    Ravneet Kaur 18 дней назад

    Awesome.. 🥰

  • Loudpac
    Loudpac 18 дней назад

    what if 60% of people you talk to are this exact thing your explaining not to be, just sit and listen and be a therapist? It gets out of hand..

  • Soumallya Pal
    Soumallya Pal 18 дней назад

    Ma'am really your tips are so practical and yes it helps to grow into an amazing conversation... Thank you ma'am

  • Rummi
    Rummi 19 дней назад

    All you said was on the target, good job. People listen to this beautiful girl ,love.

  • Stephanie Ariel
    Stephanie Ariel 19 дней назад


  • Raymond Louis Llompart
    Raymond Louis Llompart 20 дней назад

    All in all, it was (caveats excluded) a very heartfelt lesson: however, when you start looking NERVOUS something is wrong----you are a professional speaker and you got nervous and emotional?......In much conversation, showing nervousness is...DEATHLY......The higher you go, yes,. perhaps, but all across as well.....

  • M. Kwiatkowski
    M. Kwiatkowski 20 дней назад

    "We're more divided than we ever were in history"
    Civil War

  • Payel Sengupta
    Payel Sengupta 22 дня назад

    One of the best speeches that I have ever heard!

  • Sam Iko
    Sam Iko 22 дня назад +1

    Woah!!!!! This actually sums up everything I ever observed about conversations in a simple comon sense way! Thank you! I struggled as a teen to talk to people let alone converse... this should definately be widwspread knowledge/taught.... at least made into posters

  • Ali R
    Ali R 22 дня назад

    Superb !!!..
    No words to say...

  • Killa8 Bc
    Killa8 Bc 23 дня назад

    Well, this was really beautiful, like really.

  • Bernardita Alarcon
    Bernardita Alarcon 24 дня назад

    I love it!

  • Aa Aa
    Aa Aa 25 дней назад

    I just love this talk! This is important!

  • Alex Abadi
    Alex Abadi 25 дней назад

    Thank you.

  • The Sweet Shop
    The Sweet Shop 27 дней назад

    Me: about to start comment scrolling
    Her:#1, don't multitask

  • cristina Garcia
    cristina Garcia 27 дней назад +1

    very long intro I almost lost interest.. wait I did loose interest... she wants to teach others to talk.. but some people talk too much that they loose interest.. like her

  • Christian Alberti
    Christian Alberti 28 дней назад

    Watching this video got me to thinking about the past few conversations that I've had with people, and i can see why things go awkwardly sometimes. Waiting and remembering an idea only to interject it over another persons statements rather than listening and going with the flow is something i often do. This video has made me realize I'm not a very good listener and need to work on this in order to have more meaningful conversations with people.

  • Hal Eloi
    Hal Eloi 28 дней назад +1

    a truly good speaker! Has a good topic and is expert at talking to audiences.

  • Mysterious Mystery
    Mysterious Mystery 29 дней назад


  • Beto Zamora
    Beto Zamora Месяц назад

    Loved it!

  • Rithu K. Somaiah
    Rithu K. Somaiah Месяц назад

    P E W R E S E A R C H hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 🤔🤔

    RMGLEXu Месяц назад


  • Ingrid Plata
    Ingrid Plata Месяц назад

    "barely related sentences"

  • Tommy DLH
    Tommy DLH Месяц назад

    These tips are fine, but it's not really universally helpful. Listening well doesn't always translate to conversing well. In fact, confining myself to listening is what limits my ability to make good conversation. The talking part is pretty important, and can be far more difficult than listening

  • Charles Lewis
    Charles Lewis Месяц назад

    Be prepared to be amazed. That is perfect in itself.

  • brad williams
    brad williams Месяц назад


  • Rich
    Rich Месяц назад

    Its the internet of things .Its the whole world in the same room.

  • Bangtanforlife
    Bangtanforlife Месяц назад


  • saramations
    saramations Месяц назад

    we're more divided and polarized now because back in the day, we lived on isolated farms or in small villages and if we had certain jobs we might even be required to live x amount of miles out side of a city's limits. majority of us were illiterate and had very little say and pull in politics and social events. on top of that, it took weeks or months to deliver important messages. communication sucked. Also, IRRC, what makes humans humans is our capacity for high-levels of discrimination and prejudice.
    it's an interesting topic, tbh. good talk.

  • irfan ali
    irfan ali Месяц назад

    In between the video, there is an annoying cling sound, which are really irritating.

  • Ketan Barapatre
    Ketan Barapatre Месяц назад

    That will stay with me forever. Great learning for me. Thnx.

  • Robin Sego
    Robin Sego Месяц назад

    Best ted talk

  • Linda Liang
    Linda Liang Месяц назад

    I have listened to people all my life. But it gets tiring to be invisible. ... I guess everything boils down to due process...

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    PurposeColor Self-help App Месяц назад

    Join us on PurposeColor free app to set goals, build mental strength and stay motivated with like minded folks

  • clark Chauke
    clark Chauke Месяц назад

    I can listen everyday, I need to listen to people

  • Kevin Chahine
    Kevin Chahine Месяц назад

    This is amazing

  • Pablo Tapia
    Pablo Tapia Месяц назад

    Thank you, Great to hear! How important is beginning with the intent to listen for understanding especially in personal conversation?

  • Cesc Robinson
    Cesc Robinson Месяц назад

    1st Rule : you do not talk about you

  • David m
    David m Месяц назад

    "This the most divided time in our history"? what about that little thing called the Civil War?

  • jen d.
    jen d. Месяц назад

    God, I needed to hear this and plan to apply it to the best of my ability. I am guilty of every flaw she describes and yes, I know better. "Be prepared to be amazed" is stellar advice and puts the burden on me, not anyone else.

  • Dennis D
    Dennis D Месяц назад

    Thank O'failure this divided country!

  • Robert Sands
    Robert Sands Месяц назад

    Conversational competence is the most overlooked skill. How to talk, how to listen. There's no need to show you are paying attention, if you are already paying attention.
    1. Don't multitask. Be present in that moment.
    2. Don't pontificate. If you want not to have someone disagreed, write a blog. True conversation means setting aside yourself.
    3. Use open ended questions- use who, what, when, where, did that feel...
    4. Let the flow come and go
    5- say you don't know when you don't
    6- don't equate your experience with others. Conversations are not promotion
    7- don't keep repeating yourself
    8- forget the details- dates etc
    9-Listen- if your mouth is open, you are not learning. Nobody listened his way out of the job.
    10- be brief. Be interested in other people. Everyone has something amazing.

  • Giorgio Berrè
    Giorgio Berrè Месяц назад


  • H Max
    H Max Месяц назад

    good video....i actually learned something. one thing I was reminded about a ex-coworker was the person laughing in the audience. my coworker used to be the one who would laugh the loudest no matter who was talking to us. she needed to laugh loud as to somehow feel a bonding or understanding of what was being said. the rest of us would just barely smile at some comment and she would be laughing out loud. this video reminded me of that.

  • UFF
    UFF Месяц назад

    what's that annoying tingling sound?

  • Philip Buckley
    Philip Buckley Месяц назад

    enough with the so called problem....and your solution is...

  • Rihanna stan
    Rihanna stan Месяц назад

    I don't even send one text a day.

  • Jeremy O'Neal
    Jeremy O'Neal Месяц назад

    What is that clicking noise

  • Mattias Sjödin
    Mattias Sjödin Месяц назад

    Katsumoto approves.

  • XianDai XuShu
    XianDai XuShu Месяц назад

    To listen and try to learn from others is not in the genes of the western culture. The most influential people in our society are the politicians, religious clergymen and sales dominated pundits in the media. They talk, talk and talk, while the dummies listen, listen, and listen.

  • XTesT15X
    XTesT15X Месяц назад

    Most People talk like NPCs these days. :(

  • Charles Aimé KOUA
    Charles Aimé KOUA Месяц назад

    " A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject. " 😂

  • Soleil Bleau
    Soleil Bleau Месяц назад +2

    Hears “don’t multitask” while reading comments.. lol my bad