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Why you CAN’T Leave an Abusive Relationship | TRAUMA BONDING (Stephanie Lyn Coaching)

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  • Published on Apr 23, 2018
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Comments • 1 657

  • jenomi72
    jenomi72 4 years ago +1

    Yes. This definitely feels like a drug addiction. Even when I'm screaming inside my head. Trying to remind myself how bad it makes me feel. I still want to hear him be nice to me one more time fully knowing it won't last.

  • C D
    C D 3 years ago +248

    “You have to decide that you want to be happy.” Yes. It’s so hard at first when you leave. But once you leave, you’ll feel that weight lift off your shoulders.

  • Melissa Jeffree
    Melissa Jeffree 2 years ago +183

    Argh the worst is the relationships you lose because people got tired of you going back or making excuses for the person who is litterally breaking you apart. So even when you leave the relationship, you are often alone and tend to go back just to have someone.

  • Barbara Brinkmeyer
    Barbara Brinkmeyer 4 years ago +635

    We can and do leave, and we can heal. No human being owns us. No one.

  • A. N.
    A. N. 4 years ago +542

    You have no idea how much I needed to hear this today. I'm 8 months out and still have trouble letting go of "the dream". Thank you for what you do. =)

  • Viva los pepes
    Viva los pepes 4 years ago +626

    Took me 34 years to understand. Unbelievable trust your gut it never lies to you

  • Rashid EightTwo
    Rashid EightTwo 3 years ago +376

    Its hard to admit but shes right ...its hard to accept who the person really is your always looking for them to show you love and affection like they did at the beginning

  • YesReneau
    YesReneau Year ago +202

    She’s like the cool aunt you want to call when you have boy problems.

  • Roxanne Terrones

    “You built up a tolerance for abuse.” -😣 you explained exactly how I have felt for years but couldn’t explain and hid it.

  • Daniel Trentham
    Daniel Trentham 3 years ago +306

    This is sooo powerful, the concept that breaking the trauma bond is as strong as withdrawal from addiction...Always feeling the need to go back for more. I’m still going through the codependent withdrawal today. Thank you so much for all the insightful video content. It has been invaluable in helping me grow the courage I’ve needed to break the cycle.

  • Jenn G
    Jenn G Year ago +65

    Just found this video. I'm currently in a severely mentally and emotionally and financially abusive relationship and I feel so alone. I can't deal with the names and the screaming and blaming me for everything. I want too leave but just don't know why I can't.

  • Linda H.
    Linda H. 4 years ago +506

    I hope people see this before they have spent as many years in it as I have. Now he is disabled, and any chance of me having a different life are gone. Please people, follow this advice while you are young enough to enjoy some happiness, and freedom in your life.

  • KAYLA ROSE
    KAYLA ROSE 4 years ago +231

    You’re literally saving me.. I’m so forever grateful I found your channel 😭😭 thank you for the work you do!!

  • youtube watcher
    youtube watcher 4 years ago +204

    Thank you for not being judgemental. I have been blamed before for not leaving earlier, years ago. I do not blame myself (anymore). His insanity has nothing to do with me.

  • Keri DiGirolamo
    Keri DiGirolamo 4 years ago +85

    I have been trying to heal from a trauma bond/narcissistic relationship for years now and all of my early 20s. I stumbled upon your videos one day when I was looking for some answers and I am so grateful I did. Your videos, message, and knowledge really speak to me and help. They make me feel like I am not alone, which in these situations is hard to find someone that understands. Thank you so much.

  • MidnightRunner04
    MidnightRunner04 4 years ago +115

    Thank you so much for all your work. I’m 2.5 years from a discard from a nine year marriage and almost six months out of another toxic marriage. What you said is so very true. I wish I could have heard this years ago. I have went from the darkest depression to massive love bombing to dark depression. You can heal from this and be happy again. Love yourself like you would your own child. Be his or her champion.

  • Larissa Perdiz
    Larissa Perdiz 2 years ago +16

    Your videos make me realize how hard is to recover after an abusive relationship! Almost 2 years of marriage with a man that manipulated me and made me believe that I was the problem and that I wasn’t enough to him!

  • Yoshi
    Yoshi Year ago +15

    I needed this pep talk and I will continue to revisit this series every time I feel like going back. 2 months Narc Free!

  • Blessed Beyond Belief
    Blessed Beyond Belief 4 years ago +180

    It’s called a toxic soultie. And needs to be broken.

  • Liam
    Liam Year ago +13

    I didn’t even know narcissism or even trauma bonding existed. Everything I did to try and save my relationship had to do with my belief in God. “Faith, things hoped for evidence unseen”. I kept praying that God would deliver our relationship but I realized God still gives us free will. My desire to make it work was not her desire. After all the studying I have done both reading and videos……this is real. Now I pray that God delivers me from all this pain and hurt. 🥲🙏🏾