Emotional Mastery: The Gifted Wisdom of Unpleasant Feelings | Dr Joan Rosenberg | TEDxSantaBarbara

  • Published on Sep 21, 2016
  • What often blocks people from feeling capable in life and from having greater success with finances, health or relationships is how they handle unpleasant feelings. Psychologist Joan Rosenberg unveils the innovative strategy and surprising keys for experiencing the challenging emotions that lie at the heart of confidence, emotional strength, and resilience.
    Best-selling author, consultant, media host, and master clinician, Dr. Joan Rosenberg is a cutting-edge psychologist who is known as an innovative thinker, acclaimed speaker and trainer. As a member of the Association of Transformational Leaders, she has been recognized for her thought leadership and influence in personal development.
    Dr. Rosenberg has been featured in the documentaries “I Am”, “Pursuing Happiness”, & “The Hidden Epidemic” w Dr. Daniel Amen. She’s been seen on CNN’s American Morning, the OWN network, and PBS, as well as appearances and radio interviews in all of the major metropolitan media markets. A California-licensed psychologist, Dr. Rosenberg speaks on how to build confidence, high self-esteem, core emotional strength, and resilience; achieving emotional, conversational, and relational mastery; integrating neuroscience, psychotherapy, and supervision; and suicide prevention. An Air Force veteran, she is a professor of graduate psychology at Pepperdine.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Comments • 424

  • Thmsn Omoge
    Thmsn Omoge 11 hours ago

    This is so educating.l am very glad to accidentally came across you on RU-clip.Thank you very much.

  • Jeannie Gichigi
    Jeannie Gichigi 2 days ago

    Ye, thank you Dr Rosenberg, that was one of the best Ted Talks or any talks I have heard in a very long while, very useful and very [practical! Loved it and thank you for being here on my journey to guide the way forward. I started practising straight away and I can already feel the power lurching behind so called unfcomfortable feelings; they are a power house! I am now looking at the opposites of these feeling, cos I now understand it is just aflip coin, head or tails = cannot be separated and its only by accepting both sides, do you get the balance necessary. can intellectualize it but the proof of the pudding is in the eating! thank you!

  • Gregory Belden
    Gregory Belden 3 days ago +2

    One of the best Ted talks I have ever listened to with good advice on controlling your emotions rather than letting your emotions control you.

  • ScotsLeo Queen
    ScotsLeo Queen 3 days ago +2

    This is my #1 most helpful Tedx vids I've ever seen. I began that very day to ride the waves of feelings & the transformation to my inner self was almost immediate, thank you!

  • Melissia Charles
    Melissia Charles 5 days ago +3

    You are boring but it works🤗

  • Jeannie Campbell
    Jeannie Campbell 5 days ago

    very wise words ..thank you .

  • lele melema
    lele melema 6 days ago

    I was suffering from high level anxiety about 6 months and it was very,very unpleasant experience. At one point, I could not take it anymore so I decided to work on myself as much as I can.. I cannot explain to you guys how much staying in the moment, excepting yourself and believing that everything will pass is essential for your mental health. Experiencing emotions and letting them go was key to freeing myself from anxiety. Now, I am trying to say to everybody that emotions are just EMOTIONS, you feel them and let them go, over some period of time, they'll notice how much less power they have over you so they are gonna to disappear and you'll stay in wonder..Where the heck they are ??? Same goes for bad thoughts.. Take care of yourself people, wish you all peace !!!

  • Marisa Soares
    Marisa Soares 11 days ago

    Thank you

  • Musical Soup2
    Musical Soup2 12 days ago

    This doesn't address trauma patients and it becoming constant.

  • Mai Lavendel
    Mai Lavendel 14 days ago +1

    This topic is very similar to that of the Buddha’s teachings.
    “Be at the present moment”
    It all makes sense when you talk about our physiologic change involving the working of the mind.
    It really enlightens my heart.
    Thank you so much.

  • Mary Mary
    Mary Mary 16 days ago

    What does she mean present moment? What are the details? Is it staying with the punch that she received, being punched in the guts, I guess she means, stay with the unpleasant moments is what she means.

  • Wendy Owen
    Wendy Owen 17 days ago

    I loved this talk. It's helped my with my smoking addiction.

  • Netty Abbott
    Netty Abbott 17 days ago

    We feel the emotions First, in the body because mind is in dna Not in the Brain.
    The Brain does not create any chemical then send it rushing through the body.
    Physical science is very behind in the area &a its teaching a Lie.
    Dna is in every cell, Emotion is in every cell ing, feeling an emotion in the body is Litterally feeling within every cell of the body.

  • R I T A W O O D
    R I T A W O O D 20 days ago

    Rush and flush 60-90 seconds of...
    I choose to feel it and let it go.

  • trombone7
    trombone7 21 day ago

    S. Shaved F.
    What ?
    S.adness, s.hame, h.elplessness, a.nger, v.ulnerability, e.mbarrassment, d.isappointment, f.rustration.
    - - -
    I like the idea of exploring each and processing each after the emotion's wave passes through your body. But I'm unclear how to do that in the heat of the moment, say during an argument an issue at work.
    Oh well, guess you have to buy the book :
    90 Seconds to a Life You Love: How to Master Your Difficult Feelings to Cultivate Lasting Confidence, Resilience, and Authenticity
    -- Rosenberg

  • Tauney Elysia
    Tauney Elysia 21 day ago +1

    Good talk! Thank you. Meditation and Yoga taught me to "lean in" feel it. You can feel, watch and then think about your reaction. It sounds like BS. But it actually works. She is right. And You Aren't Boring!! Thank you! ♡ Tauney

  • Cindy Clark
    Cindy Clark 22 days ago

    Oh my Gosh Guilty as charged! But I can never run too fast, feelings simply will not let me!

  • Cindy Clark
    Cindy Clark 22 days ago +1

    SO caring, sensitive, loving your messages are!

  • Cindy Clark
    Cindy Clark 22 days ago

    Joan touches my heart deeply! Such an amazing Spirit....ouch!

  • Azuri Whitlock
    Azuri Whitlock 23 days ago

    Wow! I love this.

  • Laura B
    Laura B 27 days ago

    In my life, I've been fortunate enough to befriend people from all over the world. It would be safe to say that in my experience, 80% of the time, Americans are afraid of being vulnerable and expressive with their feelings. If you want to get along with everybody, you can't be too "real." 🙄 😕 Being authentic takes courage and self-esteem (not ego). This talk makes a lot of sense but sadly, common sense is not common practice.

  • Karen Wood
    Karen Wood 28 days ago

    I have the opposite problem: the unpleasant feelings dont last 60-90 seconds for me. I get stuck in them and they last for days, weeks and even months. They lead to depression and hopelessness. I don't know how to move through them quickly.

  • rmacd7373
    rmacd7373 Month ago

    This really makes me think of NGE

  • Mii Lee
    Mii Lee Month ago


  • Mika Cigic
    Mika Cigic Month ago +1

    Love this video! Thank you so much. I would just like further clarification. On a day to day practical level, how does one actually ride the wave of emotions?

  • Lyndley Hillebrand
    Lyndley Hillebrand Month ago

    Dosent she kinda look like lady gaga

  • Iron Fist
    Iron Fist Month ago

    This is vipassana meditation, baby!!!!

  • Angela Johnson
    Angela Johnson Month ago

    Very good talk! I agree and will endeavor to ride the wave until it quickly subsides.

  • Angela Johnson
    Angela Johnson Month ago

    Her voice is so dope!

  • D1234 M1234
    D1234 M1234 Month ago

    Really helpful and insightful video. I am wondering though, how come stress was not one of the unpleasant feelings

  • Cindy Mulvey
    Cindy Mulvey Month ago

    a͛n͛d͛ s͛o͛ I͛ s͛t͛a͛r͛t͛ a͛g͛a͛i͛n͛, N͛O͛W͛

  • Lola M
    Lola M Month ago

    This is the best thing I have watched ever. I think it just fixed my whole life.

  • kirati
    kirati 2 months ago +1

    This is one of most insightful and useful TED talk for me. Really helped me put things into perspective.

  • malechi1973
    malechi1973 2 months ago

    This lovely lady and her very nice wave analogy has never heard of tsunamis? THESE do not last for 60 - 90 seconds I assure you!

  • Nicole M
    Nicole M 2 months ago +3

    Extremely interesting! Regarding how our emotions are insights into things that we "feel" we know deep inside, but can't really identify of articulate.
    Seems similar to some of JBP's stuff.

  • faith yan
    faith yan 2 months ago


  • Isabelle Cleroux
    Isabelle Cleroux 2 months ago


  • Mary Morgan
    Mary Morgan 2 months ago +1

    This is Vipassana Meditation.

  • Chelsea Donovan
    Chelsea Donovan 2 months ago +1

    I hope this does work for some people, but my negative emotions do not dissipate in 90 seconds. If something hurts me emotionally the pain never goes away.

  • Dr DjDebUsa International

    Ok.......yeah. ..Experience feelings that's right yet, not profound

  • Julie Parker
    Julie Parker 2 months ago

    Good stuff

  • Vinny Splendor
    Vinny Splendor 2 months ago

    Being wise and intelligent is never boring. I have fun learning. Great video!

  • Gargee Pandey
    Gargee Pandey 2 months ago +4

    I paused the video several times to rewind and listen again. Thank you so much😘

  • Deborah Collard
    Deborah Collard 2 months ago

    What about loss or fear or anxiety?

  • Rachel Ng
    Rachel Ng 2 months ago

    Why is fear not a unpleasant and uncomfortable emotion ?

  • thenottakenone
    thenottakenone 2 months ago

    Isn’t fear one of them , and what’s the difference between shame and embarrassment? Thank you for every single answer



  • Neelam Amitabh
    Neelam Amitabh 3 months ago +1

    Inspiring. You sound so much like meditation guru.

  • Kylie Butler
    Kylie Butler 3 months ago

    That hit me hard

  • Cheryl Probert
    Cheryl Probert 3 months ago

    I prayed very hard for the Almighty AbbA Father to share love to my family, and to please help me love again... Minutes later I found your two wonderful RU-clips. I am going to "Live again." Thank you so much dear Joan.

  • angie r
    angie r 3 months ago

    'Hey Joan... you're boring!'
    Who would ever say something like that?

  • Green Pasture
    Green Pasture 3 months ago +2

    I needed this. I'm not at mastery. It's still a challenge. But understanding the 90 second wave helped me in my present unpleasantnessness.

  • A012Z9
    A012Z9 3 months ago

    beautiful voice

  • Lily Sunshine
    Lily Sunshine 3 months ago

    What about teaching respect and dignity. Everyone Matters. Dr Joan Rosenberg, I would prefer your profession had less to do with fixing what may never have become broken. The DSM definitions focused on how to help nurture the nature of a child. Each persons ability to share their individual talents without bias.

  • Julika7
    Julika7 3 months ago

    Awesome talk.

  • Dylan Tobler
    Dylan Tobler 3 months ago

    This video simplified and easy to copy/paste:
    1 Choice - Stay fully present, in the moment, it's about awareness, not avoidance.
    8 Emotions - Sadness, Shame, Helplessness, Anger, Vulnerability, Embarrassment, Disappointment, and Frustration.
    90 Seconds - Emotion is only temporary. After the feelings are identified, breathe and embrace and experience them, don't run
    **Keynote: For best understanding, watch the video once or more**

  • grace cook
    grace cook 3 months ago

    what an earthly fix, avoiding consequences !! how about your ego ? emotional reactions show ego blocks. They are to help one realise own limitations! By realising you can free yourself from them for good instead of keep on managing them ...

  • Susan bernard
    Susan bernard 3 months ago

    Thank you, for your insight delivered with such gentleness and compassion.

  • plein aire
    plein aire 4 months ago

    my cortisol rush is more like 5 minutes!!!!.it's hellish!

  • Adrian Mannion
    Adrian Mannion 4 months ago +1

    This is an old tip, nothing new here. Feel the emotion and walk towards it. 'Surf' the emotion. I heard this stuff a long time ago.
    The 2 strongest feelings are (1) powerlessness and (2) worthlessness (I actually believe nearly all feelings are sub-feelings of these two). From those feelings, resentment arises. Resentments are the number one feeling most people feel when they feel a 'negative' or 'unpleasant' emotion. It usually feels like frustration, annoyance or irritation due to the words or actions of another. Resentment comes from Latin "to feel again" and means that you perceive your need or wants have been disregarded or dismissed by another. If you try to feel a resentment every time it arises as this lady seems to suggest, in other words to keep re-feeling resentment rover and over again, it could consume you. There will be an 'originating' event of the resentment and it could have been years ago!
    Say someone says something to you making you feel worthless, or powerless. Like this lady being told she is boring. You can try to keep feeling that sense of worthlessness again and again. See where that gets you! It will keep coming back in waves.
    Rather, what I'd suggest doing is to:
    Interpretation - see if there is another way of interpreting it. Clarify and ask ‘oh how do you mean’? (which is being assertive). They then have to explain. You then get a better idea of what the person actually means and may get a fuller explanation (or you may not). There may be conflicting interests or values at play - it may not be personal and they may not be intending to hurt you. For example someone calls you boring, God only knows what is going on in their mind. They may be thinking, you are boring today / this week, or may be thinking you are beginning to get more boring, or that they are trying to 'kick start' you before you head down a depression route. However, it is true they could just see you as weak in which case it is time to..…….
    Empathise - you may be feeling a resentment now over her statement, but they too are probably full of resentments, either against you for your previous behaviour or words (I know, we all think we are saints, we even don't do anything unintentional that might frustrate others!!) or resentment against other people. From a higher level they may have experienced little love when they were younger, or may have been given no affection or attention and now yearn for that. Who knows the other person could be harbouring major resentments and you were the person at that time caught in their cross hairs.
    Own your own role in the resentment - think about your own role in how the issue developed. Think about whether you did anything to cause this situation or make it worse? Be mindful of the victim mentality, self-pity is a common response to stressful events. People tend to look at their side of events only. Maybe this lady had been a little too demanding on the person who called her boring, or maybe she has not been assertive enough in the past when similar events happened, or maybe she is thinking about a time she refused to go into town shopping with her 2 weeks ago. God only knows human minds are a little crazy sometimes.
    Perspective - all hurt and suffering is impermanent, it will pass. You will also have moments and stages of your life in which you have less or more hurt than other moments or stages. Life too is transient and impermanent. Don't waste your time stressing on the small things you will be dead in a few years!
    Expectations and fairness - let go of the myth of things should be a particular way and social norms, ‘that’s not fair.’ There is no fairness judge who keeps an eye on adversities and sees to it that they are doled out equitably to each person on a given day. Everything good and bad is exactly as it is, when it is. Everyone gets unpleasant things done and said to them.
    Common humanity - all humans suffer and are hurt, for example they harbour resentments and frustrated ambitions. All people encounter frustrations, make mistakes, bump up against limitations, and situations fall short of ideals. This is the human condition, a reality shared by all of us. Life is imperfect for everyone and hurt for humans is normal and natural. Hurt and pain doesn’t need to isolate, it can also bring us together. Hurt is a constant in all adults and you have not been singled out.
    Challenge and pain - sometimes we grow the most when we allow ourselves to be challenged and to be in pain.
    Some or all of the above could be useful next time that niggling frustration / resentment crops up. With most people they are oblivious that they are going around all day with pent up resentments.

  • Metro Venues
    Metro Venues 4 months ago

    Redefine Your Emotions - Mind ReMapping - Explain what emotions are and how to use them.

  • Mary Shaw
    Mary Shaw 4 months ago

    Thank you Joan!

  • Gemini Girl
    Gemini Girl 5 months ago

    I wish my feelings of shame or embarrassment lasted 60-90 seconds... I can't shake them for hours... when distractions don't help I know it's bad.

  • lori kayser
    lori kayser 5 months ago

    "In-between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." Viktor Frankl

  • Samyukta Nair
    Samyukta Nair 5 months ago

    Amazing 👏🙌

  • Dawn Raquel
    Dawn Raquel 5 months ago

    OMG! Amazing.. thank you

  • gilakot
    gilakot 5 months ago +2

    My goodness!!! She is a fantastic speaker! The pace, the tone, the articulation and the message. I think I found my role model

  • Donna Bann
    Donna Bann 5 months ago

    This works for me but it doesn't seem so quick and easy to severely depressed and anxious people.

  • Halar Ali
    Halar Ali 5 months ago

    Nice one

  • Veronica Cornavaca
    Veronica Cornavaca 5 months ago +2

    what a soothing voice and delivery. I loved it!

  • gessie
    gessie 5 months ago

    This is very specific advice given to a very mixed audience. It's also decadent, not at all applying to situations in which there are real problems - when the feeling of fear itself is not the biggest issue. But yeah, if you're safe and still willfully unaware, you've got a common problem.
    Facing reality (which everyone should) is not at all the key to happiness. If anything, those who stick their head underground are the happiest, even if willfully foolish. Being a realist, understanding what is going on in the world and willing to face widespread suffering, is a difficult and emotionally draining lifestyle. Intensely fulfilling, but not *happy*.
    Life's worth going through the hard way as most problems are caused by those who don't, but it's certainly not pleasant. It's a responsibility.
    Also, aren't people getting tired of hearing this same rant over and over again from hundreds of different psychologists? We get it; you're finally catching up to Buddhism after a few millennia.

  • JamiAndMarla LOVE
    JamiAndMarla LOVE 5 months ago

    FEEL!! AND EXPRESS IT HEALTHFULLY!! We build our Feeling wheel 5.0 for just this purpose!

    LILNICKY69 5 months ago

    She's not a very dynamic speaker...having a difficult time of not nodding off

  • Thumb Print
    Thumb Print 5 months ago

    Thank you. Very useful.

  • Sally Wong
    Sally Wong 5 months ago

    How do we deal with all the unpleasant feelings with a NPD partner? Can we make them understand us and to comprehend how we felt?

  • AKS A shadow
    AKS A shadow 6 months ago

    It is outstanding delivery of very important content.

  • Umm Barakah AK
    Umm Barakah AK 6 months ago

    I would listen to this talk again and again.

  • Avinash Rudraksha
    Avinash Rudraksha 6 months ago

    One of the most useful ted talk I have seen.

  • Mia Waters
    Mia Waters 6 months ago

    What about depression, that lasts longer than 90 seconds

    • Mia Waters
      Mia Waters 6 months ago

      +Joan Rosenberg thank you for your kind reply. I truly appreciate your video !

    • Joan Rosenberg
      Joan Rosenberg 6 months ago +1

      Mia - along with one's own biology and life history, it is often what we think and patterns of negative thinking that sustains depression. These contribute too.

  • Lela Strika
    Lela Strika 6 months ago

    She is awesome .?
    Does that mean I stay living with my Flatmate who I don’t like . I get angry when she wants things her way. She is discustingly rigid and selfish.
    Not 60 second 6 weaks been hear and she was overseas and from there impacted me
    What??? Yes. She Said we have to talk about your stay here. Im going to bed now Meaning no making slightest noise .

  • Jeri Garvey
    Jeri Garvey 6 months ago

    Thank you so much! You deserve a big hug!

  • Authentic Self Guide
    Authentic Self Guide 6 months ago +132

    I am naturally quite sensitive and tend to experience strong emotions. This combination of my sensitivity and emotional ferocity was too much for me growing up. This lead me to disconnect and not feel. I am learning to feel again now and I can see how this is having a positive impact on my relationships and whole life. I think this is very important work especially for anyone who struggles with anxiety or depression.

    • Vera Dexter
      Vera Dexter 2 months ago +3

      Authentic Self Guide I can completely relate, it's been a 12 year journey for me to learn emotional mastery

    • Michael Earth Osada
      Michael Earth Osada 2 months ago

      Try Richard Grannon the Spartan Life coach if you have had some toxic relationships, and Sam Vaknin in more detail. 😉👉

    • Eddie Baird
      Eddie Baird 3 months ago +4

      Your probably an empath

  • KitCat777
    KitCat777 6 months ago +1

    I love your message and I doubt you'll ever even see this, but I have been riding the wave, I believe fully in mindfulness, but the wave of grief, even with those things, does not go away in a moment. It doesn't go away ever. I've leaned in. I've done it all. But please, to tell people that if they just ride the wave - of grief, that they will somehow be released from it? It's belittling and quite frankly, dangerous. What if I can't. Then what. I appreciate your message but on that one aspect I have to say that I find it well intentioned, but so drastically incorrect.

    • Joan Rosenberg
      Joan Rosenberg 6 months ago

      Thanks for your words. I agree, grief (and trauma/tragedy) are exceptions. They don't go away in a moment and it often takes making sense of these experiences - to the degree that one can - to have the intensity of grief diminish little by little.

  • Marianne Moe
    Marianne Moe 6 months ago +2

    This was an unusual insightful and inspirational Ted Talk. This change of perspective on feelings can really change your outlook on life. A must see Ted Talk!

  • Miss Heather Lee
    Miss Heather Lee 6 months ago


  • clavo
    clavo 7 months ago

    This would have been a fantastic talk for me; except that I am under attack politically for having succeeded as a minority and am under constant attack in my community by those who seem paranoid of their own mental laziness. So they employ militaristic Tsun Su tactics to invade my privacy and destroy my confidence. Episodes recur less frequently now than when I was practicing law. Once I quit practicing the attacks are fewer but some seek revenge with a zeal that is unquenchable.

  • Nunzie Peterman
    Nunzie Peterman 7 months ago

    Outstanding! We need more educating on this topic, more commercial, advertisements, conversation of the positivity of uncomfortable emotions!

  • Lisa W
    Lisa W 7 months ago

    Good talk. Now, if only I can remember it. Ride the wave 🌊

  • Mental Fatal
    Mental Fatal 7 months ago

    Wow your low moment was being called boring...
    You know nothing about seriously horrifying experiences then and the emotions of lifelong depression. Let me tell you they do not go away after 90 seconds. try embracing these things you'll end up in the ground. Worst TED talk i've seen

  • arctic bliss
    arctic bliss 7 months ago

    Wow!. This is so simple. We just have to reach out to our platforms of connection and pray as well that we be directed to people with good intentions.

  • 이진산
    이진산 7 months ago

    start right now is very improtant to come true my dream. most of people jusy say like this, i must lose weight just saying and don't do action . this is so problem to all of us i am also like that person .her seppch is moved my mind

  • ebbenielsen7
    ebbenielsen7 7 months ago

    Perhaps there has been an answer. But I write this anyhow: Why isn't fear among the mentioned emotions - indeed it is a very unpleasent emotion?

    PEGGY KNOTH 7 months ago

    Thank you your encouragement. I agree with your basic message. You might want to add to the eight feelings: GUILT, FEAR, BETRAYAL (much deeper than disappointment), GRIEF. I know there are many more but these are ones I see frequently in abused women in various addictions. They are terrified of dealing with their core issue(s) which leads them to be homeless, addicted to drugs and alcohol, shoplifting, prostitution, eating disorders, abusive relationships, jail and prison. I know you have a specific message to a specific audience. I’m sure you go much deeper in a small group or one-on-one. God bless you for helping women (and men). It is my passion, also. Blessings.

  • Karen Woodward Sarrow
    Karen Woodward Sarrow 7 months ago

    Songs do help me process difficult emotions (-:

  • Nia Anais
    Nia Anais 7 months ago

    90 seconds is an oversimplification. Emotions don't come and go that quickly. Real emotions, can linger for days, weeks, even years. Telling someone to feel it... doesn't mean they move through it. Then they're stuck in a mess, much worse than before when they didn't allow all that in, maybe even becoming dysfunctional.

    • Dr Joan Rosenberg
      Dr Joan Rosenberg 7 months ago

      Nia - thanks for watching and responding. The lingering quality of feelings is often more tied to continually thinking about a memory (and then experiencing the related feelings) - and the continual review I see as an effort to resolve the thoughts, feelings or situation. I did a second TEDx talk on this topic. I hope you'll find it helpful.

  • Saiavinn
    Saiavinn 7 months ago

    Um... okay,
    but I don't think I _can_ ride out my anger safely. :/
    I literally punched my car windshield hard enough to crack it the last time.

  • Tom Anonym
    Tom Anonym 7 months ago

    Thank you.

  • Bernie Smith
    Bernie Smith 8 months ago +2

    Thank you so much!! I've listened to similar talks that have had some relevancy and a lot of padding. Your talk is mastery....every moment of it counted! I'm listening to it again as I type this reply and I'm in awe! To decide that the gut punch can floor you or make you stand taller is life-changing.
    Every child/teenager should hear these words of wisdom!!

  • zanthur
    zanthur 8 months ago +1

    Wonderfully , concisely communicated with compassion and confidence, this profound truth needs to be embraced by humanity!Thankyou,

  • matiaa
    matiaa 8 months ago

    This is very helpful and all but for some people its not about " touching the waves in 90 sec periods" , its about being inside the water for months or even years