James Bond Gets A Royal Assignment

  • Published on Dec 8, 2018
  • Tabloids are reporting a royal feud between Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle. Call James Bond!
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Comments • 133

  • K M
    K M 10 months ago

    I guess Bond and Moneypenny's Quizno franchise didn't work out.

  • Darth Wheezius
    Darth Wheezius 10 months ago

    Ha ha, it's funny 'cause I am British.

  • dogless10
    dogless10 10 months ago

    We have the meats😆🤣

  • James Harris
    James Harris 10 months ago +3

    Two women fighting who are given huge sums of money and wealth only because of who they are... Should we even care?

  • anil achar
    anil achar 10 months ago +1

    Now pay attention, 007, I said smooth out the Kate and Megan situation! - not sleep with with their ladies in waiting!

  • rodgebone
    rodgebone 10 months ago

    no wonder Bond drinks!

  • Kevin Leugan
    Kevin Leugan 10 months ago +3

    You know 007 would just sleep with both of them.

  • Deek 44
    Deek 44 10 months ago

    We want some Macron jokes...come on....he tries to buy off the French people with their own money, HA HA HA...or he got rid of all his yellow ties.....HA HA HA....or he's going to address the United Nations on climate control and its costs....HA HA HA....or he wants a major tax cut for the suffering French people, who can't even afford to buy bread....but instead, Macron says "let them eat cake"....ROFLMAO

    • Deek 44
      Deek 44 10 months ago

      Isn't that the norm for this audience....you're.here....and look at the host!!!!! ROFLMAO...once again.@jay dani

    • jay dani
      jay dani 10 months ago +1

      Did u break out of the mental asylum again?

  • jenbdiamond
    jenbdiamond 10 months ago

    Did Jon come out from under the desk just to write that last joke?

  • Tough Cookie
    Tough Cookie 10 months ago +1

    The situation is that Meghan needs extra protection because of Nazis.

    • John Ivan Taro
      John Ivan Taro Day ago

      Honestly, Bond battling Nazis would be a cool movie.

  • Philip Côté
    Philip Côté 10 months ago

    Bizarre and hilarious

  • Around The world
    Around The world 10 months ago

    Cat fight, eh!

  • berlindude75
    berlindude75 10 months ago +1

    Strong and stable!

  • TrickWithAKnife
    TrickWithAKnife 10 months ago

    Unreliable sources claim 2 women who (probably) live in another country allegedly don't get along so well.
    This isn't worth anyone's time.

  • Willishness
    Willishness 10 months ago

    Product placement?

  • Margarita M.
    Margarita M. 10 months ago

    I envy people from Dorchester.

  • Tom Will
    Tom Will 10 months ago

    I mean Theresa May was literally found to be in contempt of Parliament this week in a constitutional first and this is the British based story you go with? I get you're a light entertainment show but you're also a political show, ones gossip with no evidence and the other cost May 10 DUP votes even after she bribed them with £1 billion of taxpayer money.

  • Thomas Ridley
    Thomas Ridley 10 months ago +1

    007 we need you to stop a royal cat fight by tea time.

  • sagetmaster4
    sagetmaster4 10 months ago

    Arby's paid 300k for this

  • Steven Qu
    Steven Qu 10 months ago +1

    Didn't they do this joke with brexit too?

  • Gauss24
    Gauss24 10 months ago +3

    moneypenny needs the meat

  • Chris Ford
    Chris Ford 10 months ago

    That guy who played M in this is always great. More of him.

  • La Femme Fictionale
    La Femme Fictionale 10 months ago +1

    Wait, wouldn't this be the domain of MI5, not MI6?

    • John Ivan Taro
      John Ivan Taro Day ago

      Yes. MI5 handles security issues such as the Kate and Meghan situation.

  • Jonni0608
    Jonni0608 10 months ago

    The Quiznos franchise didn't work out?

  • wendy boothman
    wendy boothman 10 months ago

    The media will make up anything that makes them tax dodging money

  • ursaltydog
    ursaltydog 10 months ago

    There really isn't that much discord.. it began over Kate not treating Meghan well.. being haughty and shit... then Harry stepping in to correct matters.. then William finally being a man and taking Harry aside and telling him what he thought of his future to-be bride... not kosher.. It's really between the brothers.. IT was time they weren't up one another's ass..

  • utubefreshieagn
    utubefreshieagn 10 months ago

    That is a pretty HOT fake James Bond. 👍😉

  • Darth Star Killer
    Darth Star Killer 10 months ago

    Meghan better watch her back or she’s gonna get “princess diana’d” by Prince Philip

  • Fauler Perfektionist
    Fauler Perfektionist 10 months ago +2

    Oh, look. A couple very-wealthy people who have problems. Let me go and try to get concerned about it.

  • RageNuke
    RageNuke 10 months ago +1

    Did I get conned into watching an ad?

  • shashank saurav
    shashank saurav 10 months ago

    He looks like steve carell

  • MagnuMagnus
    MagnuMagnus 10 months ago

    I like this new Bond.

  • Alli M.
    Alli M. 10 months ago

    Ha ha ha.

  • A W
    A W 10 months ago +1

    Ok spill, what’s the thing with Stephen and Arby’s? I have heard him mention Arby’s a couple of times now and now on this skit. Arby’s why is this franchise being mentioned? Did something happen?

    • A W
      A W 10 months ago

      Pamela Cass
      Thank You 😊

    • Pamela Cass
      Pamela Cass 10 months ago +1

      Jon Stewart started it.

  • Marsha Creary
    Marsha Creary 10 months ago


  • CynAnne1
    CynAnne1 10 months ago +5

    At last! Ms. Moneypenny gets her man...and a sammich! ❤

  • anthromod
    anthromod 10 months ago

    Actually had an Arby's in my hometown in the Uk... Didn't last long and they totally left the Uk soon after. I get the impression I didn't miss much.

  • gnarlin
    gnarlin 10 months ago +135

    Erm, wouldn't Bond just accept the mission and then sleep with them both?

    • John Ivan Taro
      John Ivan Taro 7 months ago

      Someone out there might be making a fanfic about that....

    • Dr. Madd
      Dr. Madd 10 months ago +2

      Amélie Carré Well of course.

    • William Cortelyou
      William Cortelyou 10 months ago +1

      Short answer is...

    • Prithu
      Prithu 10 months ago +3

      This is the first thing that came to my mind as well.

    • Kevin Street
      Kevin Street 10 months ago +6

      It's like you're channeling Ian Fleming!

  • ASBA1991
    ASBA1991 10 months ago +4

    When there is an Arby's joke, I always assume Jon Stewart was present during the brainstorming process.

  • William Cortelyou
    William Cortelyou 10 months ago +7

    Did anyone else always think Bond would retire to Arby's? Cause that's the main focus of my Bond fanfic, which is 9000 pages long, small script. It encompasses everything good from every movie, answers and connects them all perfectly. And ends with Bond in Arby's. It's straight up on par with the Bible, especially when I added the part about Arby's.

    • William Cortelyou
      William Cortelyou 10 months ago +2

      @Jupiter Kansas
      It is, they just use the bronze age term for it, Heaven.

    • Jupiter Kansas
      Jupiter Kansas 10 months ago +2

      wait... Arby's isn't in the Bible?

  • Mat S
    Mat S 10 months ago +5

    Arbys.. technically its food! I miss Jon....

  • HorzaPanda
    HorzaPanda 10 months ago +2

    Surely the answer is to get Bond to infiltrate the tabloid press? XD

    T.BONE/SIDE OF LIFE 10 months ago +2

    Two of royalty and only one will get the gold finger.

  • ziljin
    ziljin 10 months ago +34

    Idris Elba can take over!

  • Nahtanha Rogers
    Nahtanha Rogers 10 months ago +13

    1) I hope these 007 skits continue, quality entertainment 2) Seriously who is the guy they have playing Bond, if Idris Elba turns the job down can he be up next?

  • Sudip Dasgupta
    Sudip Dasgupta 10 months ago +8

    Thanks for bringing up Arby's, it always reminds me of Jon Stewart :)

  • This Rebel is Scum
    This Rebel is Scum 10 months ago +25

    This is all tabloid bullshit, from the same tabloids that didn't want Harry to marry Meghan (or even go out with her).
    It will be all angled so that Meghan is the one to blame, rather than darling Kate.
    The British media is right wing, leaning toward the far right, so what do you expect?

    • ArgonTheAware
      ArgonTheAware 10 months ago +5

      It's because Rupert Murdoch owns most of the British Media, so it's no wonder it "leans toward the far right"

  • R Thrall
    R Thrall 10 months ago

    Timothy Dalton gunbarrel sequence FTW

  • TheReal008Zulu
    TheReal008Zulu 10 months ago +2

    M: You can't quit, Bond!
    Bond: To be honest M, I started writing the resignation letter when you hired a hipster to be Q.

    • John Ivan Taro
      John Ivan Taro Day ago

      M: 'Oh, Bond, that was just Q's son delivering the gadgets to you, for god's sake!" (I bet that would be the twist in a future Bond movie.)

  • Alex Landherr
    Alex Landherr 10 months ago

    Who’s playing Bond?

  • Nancy Mesek
    Nancy Mesek 10 months ago +1

    It wouldn’t surprise me if the two women didn’t get along. I’m sure Kate is jealous of her accomplishments and popularity.

    • black sparrow
      black sparrow 10 months ago

      @retnavybrat i have read otherwise but okay i'll take your word, they are princesses, i couldn't care less
      I'm not even British, don't even like them except for Lady diana and Kate.

    • retnavybrat
      retnavybrat 10 months ago +3

      @black sparrow Both Kate and Meghan are princesses by marriage. If the Queen hadn't granted dukedoms to the princes, their wives would've been known as Princess William of Wales and Princess Henry of Wales, respectively.
      Also, when Prince William submitted the information needed to register his children's births, he listed his wife's "occupation" as Princess of the United Kingdom. He, of all people, should know his wife's status. 🙂

    • black sparrow
      black sparrow 10 months ago

      @Suzette Aljanabi i wrote blank because i didn't wanna use an insult, i was raised by the saying got nothing nice to say then say nothing at all but it gets hard sometimes cuz of people like you, and she's a duchess, not a princess
      That's a fact
      You can call her princess, that's fine, i can call myself a billionaire too
      And another thing they are a constitutional monarchy, they are royals for themselves and for idiots like you, not for me
      So you calling me a commoner is laughable to me anyway to mess with your slave ass i will say it, meghan markle is trash just like harry 🤮
      I like kate though not cuz she's royal but cuz i like her.

    • black sparrow
      black sparrow 10 months ago

      @retnavybrat exactly, Thank you.

    • retnavybrat
      retnavybrat 10 months ago +5

      @Nancy Mesek: What does Kate have to be jealous about? She's the one who's going to be Queen one day.

  • Benzaiten
    Benzaiten 10 months ago +4

    yep, tabloid fodder. if they sneeze in public it'll be made a scandal a/o deadly affliction.

  • Max Doubt
    Max Doubt 10 months ago +1

    Uh oh! Did their periods sync?

  • Aditya Tiger
    Aditya Tiger 10 months ago +14

    This is One of the Best Mini Series from any Late Night Shows.

  • Aditya Tiger
    Aditya Tiger 10 months ago +15

    *0:56* "But your *country* need you!"
    but *England is my city*

  • TheZooropaBaby
    TheZooropaBaby 10 months ago +4

    did Jon Stewart make this?

    • mori1bund
      mori1bund 10 months ago

      @borot man: NO ONE likes Arby's.

    • borot man
      borot man 10 months ago +1

      Nah, Arby's was shown in a positive light. I think it might be Stephen or one of the writers hitting back at Jon since they like Arby's.

  • A Wee Scots Dog
    A Wee Scots Dog 10 months ago

    The Spy who loved Putin (Aka The name's Don - Shamed Don)
    Nobody does it better
    Makes me feel sad for the rest
    Nobody makes up, half as many lies,
    At lying Trump's the best
    Nobody's such a debtor
    Wished he knew how to invest
    His money flows through, Deutsche Bank accounts
    From the East to the West
    Although he thinks he's a go getter
    He had to divest
    Himself of loss making businesses
    Casinos he possessed
    Nobody's such a sweater
    Due to the IRS
    Nobody has so many tax returns
    Still being assessed
    Nobody likes it wetter
    Even when he's still half dressed
    Nobody likes it quite as rude as him
    In a shower being caressed
    He promised that he would jet her
    While standing in his string vest,
    The "Spy" who "loved" him (Putin paid the fee)
    She really was not impressed

    Reprise - The FBI who cuffed him (aka The name's Don - "Framed" Don)
    Now Trump is feeling the pressure,
    In fact he feels quite oppressed,
    So many past lovers are claiming he's
    An unsolicited sex pest
    Of half he says 'never met her'
    The other's he claims to detest
    All of that talk was just from locker rooms
    He never touched a breast
    And Ivanka, though he would pet her
    She was his little princess
    There was never anything untoward
    But she was such a temptress
    So he just had to let her,
    Sit on his knee for a rest,
    And just because he, bounced her up and down a bit
    Some thought it too much like incest.
    Yes nobody does it better
    Trump and his staff are "the best"
    He says they've beaten all past presidencies
    What's that? They've all confessed!

  • Space-Cadet David 'Spanky Bonespurs' Dennison :

    Not shown was the mission where Bond tries to explain England, Great Britain and United Kingdom to Donald Trump when Trump visited, that’s why Bond doesn’t want to accept these missions anymore (Brexit and this Royal Rift mission).

  • Redstone Casey
    Redstone Casey 10 months ago +39

    That's slightly above 007's skill level.

  • togawe
    togawe 10 months ago +52

    0:50 that's one of the most satisfying "WHAT" screams I've heard in a while

    • borot man
      borot man 10 months ago +3

      I think the subtle voice crack makes it that more brilliant.