James Bond Gets A Royal Assignment

  • Published on Dec 8, 2018
  • Tabloids are reporting a royal feud between Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle. Call James Bond!
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Comments • 135

  • K M
    K M 5 months ago

    I guess Bond and Moneypenny's Quizno franchise didn't work out.

  • Darth Wheezius
    Darth Wheezius 5 months ago

    Ha ha, it's funny 'cause I am British.

  • dogless10
    dogless10 5 months ago

    We have the meats😆🤣

  • James Harris
    James Harris 5 months ago +3

    Two women fighting who are given huge sums of money and wealth only because of who they are... Should we even care?

  • anil achar
    anil achar 5 months ago

    Now pay attention, 007, I said smooth out the Kate and Megan situation! - not sleep with with their ladies in waiting!

  • rodgebone
    rodgebone 5 months ago

    no wonder Bond drinks!

  • Kevin Leugan
    Kevin Leugan 5 months ago +3

    You know 007 would just sleep with both of them.

  • Deek 44
    Deek 44 5 months ago

    We want some Macron jokes...come on....he tries to buy off the French people with their own money, HA HA HA...or he got rid of all his yellow ties.....HA HA HA....or he's going to address the United Nations on climate control and its costs....HA HA HA....or he wants a major tax cut for the suffering French people, who can't even afford to buy bread....but instead, Macron says "let them eat cake"....ROFLMAO

    • Deek 44
      Deek 44 5 months ago

      Isn't that the norm for this audience....you're.here....and look at the host!!!!! ROFLMAO...once again.+jay dani

    • jay dani
      jay dani 5 months ago +1

      Did u break out of the mental asylum again?

  • jenbdiamond
    jenbdiamond 5 months ago

    Did Jon come out from under the desk just to write that last joke?

  • Tough Cookie
    Tough Cookie 5 months ago +1

    The situation is that Meghan needs extra protection because of Nazis.

  • Philip Côté
    Philip Côté 5 months ago

    Bizarre and hilarious

  • God's Justice
    God's Justice 5 months ago

    Cat fight, eh!

  • berlindude75
    berlindude75 5 months ago +1

    Strong and stable!

  • TrickWithAKnife
    TrickWithAKnife 5 months ago

    Unreliable sources claim 2 women who (probably) live in another country allegedly don't get along so well.
    This isn't worth anyone's time.

  • Willishness
    Willishness 5 months ago

    Product placement?

  • Margarita M.
    Margarita M. 5 months ago

    I envy people from Dorchester.

  • Tom Will
    Tom Will 5 months ago

    I mean Theresa May was literally found to be in contempt of Parliament this week in a constitutional first and this is the British based story you go with? I get you're a light entertainment show but you're also a political show, ones gossip with no evidence and the other cost May 10 DUP votes even after she bribed them with £1 billion of taxpayer money.

  • Thomas Ridley
    Thomas Ridley 5 months ago

    007 we need you to stop a royal cat fight by tea time.

  • sagetmaster4
    sagetmaster4 5 months ago

    Arby's paid 300k for this

  • Steven Qu
    Steven Qu 5 months ago +1

    Didn't they do this joke with brexit too?

  • Gauss24
    Gauss24 5 months ago +3

    moneypenny needs the meat

  • Chris Ford
    Chris Ford 5 months ago

    That guy who played M in this is always great. More of him.

  • La Femme Fictionale
    La Femme Fictionale 5 months ago

    Wait, wouldn't this be the domain of MI5, not MI6?

  • Jonni0608
    Jonni0608 5 months ago

    The Quiznos franchise didn't work out?

  • wendy boothman
    wendy boothman 5 months ago

    The media will make up anything that makes them tax dodging money

  • ursaltydog
    ursaltydog 5 months ago

    There really isn't that much discord.. it began over Kate not treating Meghan well.. being haughty and shit... then Harry stepping in to correct matters.. then William finally being a man and taking Harry aside and telling him what he thought of his future to-be bride... not kosher.. It's really between the brothers.. IT was time they weren't up one another's ass..

  • utubefreshieagn
    utubefreshieagn 5 months ago

    That is a pretty HOT fake James Bond. 👍😉

  • Darth Star Killer
    Darth Star Killer 5 months ago

    Meghan better watch her back or she’s gonna get “princess diana’d” by Prince Philip

  • Lazy Perfectionist
    Lazy Perfectionist 5 months ago +2

    Oh, look. A couple very-wealthy people who have problems. Let me go and try to get concerned about it.

  • RageNuke
    RageNuke 5 months ago +1

    Did I get conned into watching an ad?

  • shashank saurav
    shashank saurav 5 months ago

    He looks like steve carell

  • MagnuMagnus
    MagnuMagnus 5 months ago

    I like this new Bond.

  • Alli M.
    Alli M. 5 months ago

    Ha ha ha.

  • A W
    A W 5 months ago +1

    Ok spill, what’s the thing with Stephen and Arby’s? I have heard him mention Arby’s a couple of times now and now on this skit. Arby’s why is this franchise being mentioned? Did something happen?

    • A W
      A W 5 months ago

      Pamela Cass
      Thank You 😊

    • Pamela Cass
      Pamela Cass 5 months ago +1

      Jon Stewart started it.

  • Marsha Creary
    Marsha Creary 5 months ago


  • CynAnne1
    CynAnne1 5 months ago +5

    At last! Ms. Moneypenny gets her man...and a sammich! ❤

  • anthromod
    anthromod 5 months ago

    Actually had an Arby's in my hometown in the Uk... Didn't last long and they totally left the Uk soon after. I get the impression I didn't miss much.

  • gnarlin
    gnarlin 5 months ago +136

    Erm, wouldn't Bond just accept the mission and then sleep with them both?

    • John Ivan Taro
      John Ivan Taro 2 months ago

      Someone out there might be making a fanfic about that....

    • Dr. Madd
      Dr. Madd 5 months ago +2

      Amélie Carré Well of course.

    • William Cortelyou
      William Cortelyou 5 months ago +1

      Short answer is...

    • Prithu
      Prithu 5 months ago +3

      This is the first thing that came to my mind as well.

    • Kevin Street
      Kevin Street 5 months ago +6

      It's like you're channeling Ian Fleming!

  • ASBA1991
    ASBA1991 5 months ago +4

    When there is an Arby's joke, I always assume Jon Stewart was present during the brainstorming process.

  • William Cortelyou
    William Cortelyou 5 months ago +7

    Did anyone else always think Bond would retire to Arby's? Cause that's the main focus of my Bond fanfic, which is 9000 pages long, small script. It encompasses everything good from every movie, answers and connects them all perfectly. And ends with Bond in Arby's. It's straight up on par with the Bible, especially when I added the part about Arby's.

    • William Cortelyou
      William Cortelyou 5 months ago +2

      +Jupiter Kansas
      It is, they just use the bronze age term for it, Heaven.

    • Jupiter Kansas
      Jupiter Kansas 5 months ago +2

      wait... Arby's isn't in the Bible?

  • Mat S
    Mat S 5 months ago +5

    Arbys.. technically its food! I miss Jon....

  • HorzaPanda
    HorzaPanda 5 months ago +1

    Surely the answer is to get Bond to infiltrate the tabloid press? XD

    T.BONE/SIDE OF LIFE 5 months ago +2

    Two of royalty and only one will get the gold finger.

  • ziljin
    ziljin 5 months ago +33

    Idris Elba can take over!

  • Nahtanha Rogers
    Nahtanha Rogers 5 months ago +13

    1) I hope these 007 skits continue, quality entertainment 2) Seriously who is the guy they have playing Bond, if Idris Elba turns the job down can he be up next?

  • Sudip Dasgupta
    Sudip Dasgupta 5 months ago +8

    Thanks for bringing up Arby's, it always reminds me of Jon Stewart :)

  • This Rebel is Scum
    This Rebel is Scum 5 months ago +25

    This is all tabloid bullshit, from the same tabloids that didn't want Harry to marry Meghan (or even go out with her).
    It will be all angled so that Meghan is the one to blame, rather than darling Kate.
    The British media is right wing, leaning toward the far right, so what do you expect?

    • ArgonTheAware
      ArgonTheAware 5 months ago +5

      It's because Rupert Murdoch owns most of the British Media, so it's no wonder it "leans toward the far right"

  • R Thrall
    R Thrall 5 months ago

    Timothy Dalton gunbarrel sequence FTW

  • TheReal008Zulu
    TheReal008Zulu 5 months ago +2

    M: You can't quit, Bond!
    Bond: To be honest M, I started writing the resignation letter when you hired a hipster to be Q.

  • Alex Landherr
    Alex Landherr 5 months ago

    Who’s playing Bond?

  • Nancy Mesek
    Nancy Mesek 5 months ago +2

    It wouldn’t surprise me if the two women didn’t get along. I’m sure Kate is jealous of her accomplishments and popularity.

    • black sparrow
      black sparrow 5 months ago

      +retnavybrat i have read otherwise but okay i'll take your word, they are princesses, i couldn't care less
      I'm not even British, don't even like them except for Lady diana and Kate.

    • retnavybrat
      retnavybrat 5 months ago +3

      +black sparrow Both Kate and Meghan are princesses by marriage. If the Queen hadn't granted dukedoms to the princes, their wives would've been known as Princess William of Wales and Princess Henry of Wales, respectively.
      Also, when Prince William submitted the information needed to register his children's births, he listed his wife's "occupation" as Princess of the United Kingdom. He, of all people, should know his wife's status. 🙂

    • black sparrow
      black sparrow 5 months ago

      +Suzette Aljanabi i wrote blank because i didn't wanna use an insult, i was raised by the saying got nothing nice to say then say nothing at all but it gets hard sometimes cuz of people like you, and she's a duchess, not a princess
      That's a fact
      You can call her princess, that's fine, i can call myself a billionaire too
      And another thing they are a constitutional monarchy, they are royals for themselves and for idiots like you, not for me
      So you calling me a commoner is laughable to me anyway to mess with your slave ass i will say it, meghan markle is trash just like harry 🤮
      I like kate though not cuz she's royal but cuz i like her.

    • black sparrow
      black sparrow 5 months ago

      +retnavybrat exactly, Thank you.

    • retnavybrat
      retnavybrat 5 months ago +5

      @Nancy Mesek: What does Kate have to be jealous about? She's the one who's going to be Queen one day.

  • Benzaiten
    Benzaiten 5 months ago +4

    yep, tabloid fodder. if they sneeze in public it'll be made a scandal a/o deadly affliction.

  • Deacon Verter
    Deacon Verter 5 months ago +1

    Uh oh! Did their periods sync?

  • Do not subscribe to me- or thanos won't like it

    This is One of the Best Mini Series from any Late Night Shows.

  • Do not subscribe to me- or thanos won't like it

    *0:56* "But your *country* need you!"
    but *England is my city*

  • TheZooropaBaby
    TheZooropaBaby 5 months ago +4

    did Jon Stewart make this?

    • mori1bund
      mori1bund 5 months ago

      +borot man: NO ONE likes Arby's.

    • borot man
      borot man 5 months ago +1

      Nah, Arby's was shown in a positive light. I think it might be Stephen or one of the writers hitting back at Jon since they like Arby's.

  • A Wee Scots Dog
    A Wee Scots Dog 5 months ago

    The Spy who loved Putin (Aka The name's Don - Shamed Don)
    Nobody does it better
    Makes me feel sad for the rest
    Nobody makes up, half as many lies,
    At lying Trump's the best
    Nobody's such a debtor
    Wished he knew how to invest
    His money flows through, Deutsche Bank accounts
    From the East to the West
    Although he thinks he's a go getter
    He had to divest
    Himself of loss making businesses
    Casinos he possessed
    Nobody's such a sweater
    Due to the IRS
    Nobody has so many tax returns
    Still being assessed
    Nobody likes it wetter
    Even when he's still half dressed
    Nobody likes it quite as rude as him
    In a shower being caressed
    He promised that he would jet her
    While standing in his string vest,
    The "Spy" who "loved" him (Putin paid the fee)
    She really was not impressed

    Reprise - The FBI who cuffed him (aka The name's Don - "Framed" Don)
    Now Trump is feeling the pressure,
    In fact he feels quite oppressed,
    So many past lovers are claiming he's
    An unsolicited sex pest
    Of half he says 'never met her'
    The other's he claims to detest
    All of that talk was just from locker rooms
    He never touched a breast
    And Ivanka, though he would pet her
    She was his little princess
    There was never anything untoward
    But she was such a temptress
    So he just had to let her,
    Sit on his knee for a rest,
    And just because he, bounced her up and down a bit
    Some thought it too much like incest.
    Yes nobody does it better
    Trump and his staff are "the best"
    He says they've beaten all past presidencies
    What's that? They've all confessed!

  • Space-Cadet David 'Spanky Bonespurs' Dennison :

    Not shown was the mission where Bond tries to explain England, Great Britain and United Kingdom to Donald Trump when Trump visited, that’s why Bond doesn’t want to accept these missions anymore (Brexit and this Royal Rift mission).

  • Caesar Mickey
    Caesar Mickey 5 months ago

    Why does 007 sound like Alex Ernst? 🤔

  • Redstone Casey
    Redstone Casey 5 months ago +39

    That's slightly above 007's skill level.

  • togawe
    togawe 5 months ago +52

    0:50 that's one of the most satisfying "WHAT" screams I've heard in a while

    • borot man
      borot man 5 months ago +3

      I think the subtle voice crack makes it that more brilliant.

  • Siathuan
    Siathuan 5 months ago +149

    ... You do realise that if they tried to assign _James Bond_ to "help them get along", he's end up seducing both of them shortly before they're murdered by the Super-Villain who was fomenting tensions in order to usurp the British throne?

    • John Ivan Taro
      John Ivan Taro 2 months ago +1

      With the plot twist being that "Prince Harry" and "Prince William" were androids the whole time....or something like that.
      I know that's too futuristic for the Bond series, but I was trying to be creative with the twist ending.

    • David DeLaney
      David DeLaney 5 months ago +2

      add threesome with Harry to cart plz
      --Dave, srsly, he's become a ginger HUNK since he grew the beard. literally out of my class tho

    • IntarwebUser
      IntarwebUser 5 months ago +2

      That's the real reason he turned down the assignment, but it's not like he's going to say that!

    • LordAaronus
      LordAaronus 5 months ago +6

      make it a threesome. when the super villain is still watching, kill him

    • Nikolai Leerskov
      Nikolai Leerskov 5 months ago +4

      Not gonna lie. The thought of that is pretty hot.

  • Free Ma
    Free Ma 5 months ago

    I think Ving Rhames might have something to say about this little Arby's skit

  • utubrGaming
    utubrGaming 5 months ago +1

    On her Majesty's Secret Service...

  • J Knox
    J Knox 5 months ago +2

    Kate has turned into a classy woman. Meghan is still ghetto trash from America

    • Nonofya Bidnez
      Nonofya Bidnez 5 months ago

      +Sophia N You mad?!?

    • Suzette Aljanabi
      Suzette Aljanabi 5 months ago +1

      +Lisa Williams 🤗🤗🤗

    • Suzette Aljanabi
      Suzette Aljanabi 5 months ago +3

      +Nonofya Bidnez nope she is right, you cannot talk nice to nazi trash!

    • Suzette Aljanabi
      Suzette Aljanabi 5 months ago +1

      +KLM Hooked Moore 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾😂😂😂😂

    • Lisa Williams
      Lisa Williams 5 months ago +3

      Thank God Harry chose to stop the tradition of inbreeding. All males bald and pale by 35. Yuck!

  • New Message
    New Message 5 months ago +2

    The METOO movement has really dulled this guy down.

  • Ive Peters
    Ive Peters 5 months ago +150

    Tabloids being tabloids, wouldn't trust them if they said water is wet.

    • William Cortelyou
      William Cortelyou 5 months ago +1

      That burn you attempted was flat, and cold as ice. You see, ice, while you are correct in that it is a solid, is also still classified as a wet surface, which is why it has a different reaction to friction on it's surface compared to other liquids that solidify. Someone else tried to point that out to you in his questions about ice skating. The fact of the matter is, anything that is water, is classified as wet. Ice will always be moist, as will steam, and especially water. Something not true of other frozen liquid. So you can say if you touch it, it melts, which is true if your body temp is above freezing. However, if youre in the snow, and your body temp is below freezing, you can still touch snow, and get wet. Your body temp is doing nothing to the snow.

    • Thomas Urech
      Thomas Urech 5 months ago +2

      Tabloids report things that don’t matter. I don’t care if two British duchesses hate each other. It could be true as the sky is blue and it wouldn’t matter one iota. That’s why tabloids are stupid. Not the false and hyperbolic reporting, but their irrelevance.

    • tackless
      tackless 5 months ago

      +William Cortelyou
      Definition of ice
      Frozen liquid / crystalline solid
      Solid state of water
      I don't know what part of that you and your walk-in freezer that evidently isn't working, are you having a hard time understanding. My little Billy Cuntylou . The only thing Frozen and wet is your mother , Billyboy .

    • Matthew Conway
      Matthew Conway 5 months ago

      lazyperfectionist1 i am amused by your banter. a like for you

    • Bia Sernige
      Bia Sernige 5 months ago

      +William Cortelyou You and @tackless are making me confused lol. Now I will have to google this damn wet water and dry ice thing lol

  • Amirun Azim
    Amirun Azim 5 months ago +12


  • Napoleon I Bonaparte
    Napoleon I Bonaparte 5 months ago +201

    The agent eventually assigned: Johnny English

    • Do not subscribe to me- or thanos won't like it
      Do not subscribe to me- or thanos won't like it 5 months ago

      sure. Cause if the mission was assigned to *Agent 47* he'd end up Killing them all

    • Peter Slegers
      Peter Slegers 5 months ago

      I'm not sure he's fit for the job... But Agent 327 can handle it! ru-clip.com/video/1IkGeD1Ybk0/video.html

    • Hit?Sunk!
      Hit?Sunk! 5 months ago +4

      +markredblue He is for an odd and very unsuspected
      reason the last agent again. xD

    • markredblue
      markredblue 5 months ago +10

      If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's the right man for the job.

  • Ancient Alien
    Ancient Alien 5 months ago +5

    Hey from Australia !

    • David DeLaney
      David DeLaney 5 months ago +1

      nude pix or it didn't happen
      --Dave, you can put them on yer tumblr ... no wait

    • Ancient Alien
      Ancient Alien 5 months ago +1

      +Bob Trenwith 😉 nope factory standard Aussie male here

    • Bob Trenwith
      Bob Trenwith 5 months ago +1

      Ancient Alien
      "Hey"??? Not "G'day"?? Looks like we have an imposter here.