The Art of Being a Couple | Theodore Zeldin | TEDxOxford

Share
Embed
  • Published on May 17, 2016
  • In this talk Theodore discussses how some couples can have long loving relationships.
    Dubbed the 'most popular Englishman in France', Oxford based Zeldin is a leading world expert on France and what it means to be French. He is renowned for his studies on happiness, asking pressing questions like 'where can a person look to find more inspiring ways to spend each day?'
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Comments • 150

  • Tarotapy
    Tarotapy 3 days ago

    ...wow such an ole cool hippie...luv it, luv him!!

  • These Truths
    These Truths 6 days ago

    4-12-2019
    What I've concluded is building relationships is a serious human skill. It has always been found and then cultivated like food has been. There are pockets and clusters of good humans who know how to be such, but also large areas of growing people who do not. If we don't move around (education & discovery means only--household moving not required) you will likely be stagnant with whatever you find around you...and that may be an abundance of selfish people in your given circumstances. I'm always looking for the good humans...where they thrive or seem to be bountiful without my help. What I've found is they thrive when and wherever part of their egos allows them to think about this topic, done so well by this good communicating human being, but then act well on it also.
    Imagine if you were a traveler from another world who landed here on present Earth and saw X-Y-Z problems, and your world had overcome those already. You would help right? Hopefully. We acknowledge that but we aren't being the good natured, harmless change ourselves right in our backyard. Why? We feel like we're too alone in the adventure. Just fear, once again. The natives and old-timers are what keep revisiting our Earthen egos, trying to wake us up to the romance that is waiting to thrive amonsgt us. Good CommUnity is a terrible thing to waste. Come on.
    Allied Fathers Community Unions (AFCU).
    be in the change

  • June Von
    June Von 6 days ago

    Thnk You very much, Sir!,

  • Victoria Christian
    Victoria Christian 16 days ago

    A fascinating talk and a refreshing point of view!

  • teri zambigli
    teri zambigli 17 days ago

    I want to marry him

  • claire
    claire 19 days ago

    "What I see is not what you see, and it is by the conjunction of all what each one sees that one can discover something like the truth."

  • Kerry Taylor
    Kerry Taylor 26 days ago

    I wish I could listen to your longer. Brilliant

  • ReImagine Science
    ReImagine Science 29 days ago +1

    'Opportunity insurance' (about 13 min in) is a great idea, and part of a blossoming of the resources that are right at hand (human talent, younger generations) who wish to have meaningful lives, have impact, and connect. Theodore's use of third spaces for connecting and learning is such a spark of creation.

  • Spider.Monkey.Ninja.Assassin

    Great presentation. Maybe it'd be good to have a title that reflects it better, as it that would help people, who are more interested in the actual content of the video to find it and not mislead people, who wanted to find content about couples.
    I enjoyed his perspective quite a bit.

  • Charlene Rainey
    Charlene Rainey Month ago +1

    This is related to the art of being a couple. Listen to each other and discover the memories of others. Discover what goes on in other peoples heads. Men do not talk very well to women.
    Reinvent the way we talk. Practice by talking to strangers with the most difficult subjects. Then when you have practiced this skill and have overcome the fear you have of talking to your mate

  • Heather 17
    Heather 17 2 months ago

    Brother, not everybody likes talking about themselves, we live in a state of duality, for me it’s about meditation , the answer to everything lies within, seek and ye shall find, sure it’s awesome connecting , but we should uphold the purpose of our human birth, what are we doing here? , what is this place all about? Clarity is only found within, with our creator, when we find this we see God in everyone , then we are no longer lonely

  • Nyco Ferrari
    Nyco Ferrari 2 months ago

    incredible. thank you.

  • Amir Khoshi
    Amir Khoshi 2 months ago

    Wow thank you!!!

  • Gold 999
    Gold 999 2 months ago

    oppo commercial?

  • Veronica Kövesdy
    Veronica Kövesdy 2 months ago +1

    The title is misleading. But it doesnt matter so much because he said some interesting stuff.

  • Ishani Prajapati
    Ishani Prajapati 2 months ago

    Is that you, Bilbo? Happy eleventy-first birthday!

  • Julie Virtue
    Julie Virtue 2 months ago

    Z

  • Kate Lundberg
    Kate Lundberg 2 months ago

    Being in a couple requires compromise on both peoples part.

  • E Rodriguez
    E Rodriguez 2 months ago +2

    I'm gonna get me a wing chair

  • iozsa tabita
    iozsa tabita 2 months ago

    Good speech. Misleading title.

  • Tza Oriana
    Tza Oriana 2 months ago +2

    Can i know what are the questions exactly?

  • Melissa Paloma
    Melissa Paloma 2 months ago +1

    Nice conversation but the topic was vaguely about being a couple. Maybe "The Art of Being Good Company" would be a better title.

  • nicholascremato
    nicholascremato 2 months ago +3

    Humans can only feel 2 emotions. Fear and Love. Every phobia, behavioural disorder and Neurosis is a manifestation of fear or a direct experience of fear. Once your fear subsides all that remains is love.

  • nicholascremato
    nicholascremato 2 months ago

    It's nice that some of the comments can still be humorous.

  • Fiona Tanzer
    Fiona Tanzer 2 months ago

    the title of the talk is a little misleading - listening is part of being a couple but the vast majority of the talk does not focus on couples

  • Limi Shereif
    Limi Shereif 2 months ago +7

    I need him to adopt me

  • E P
    E P 2 months ago

    This has nothing to do with the art of being a couple...more like the art of connecting with others gernerally.

  • T Nord
    T Nord 2 months ago +18

    I was driving my son to school. I saw at least 10 homeless people. Why can’t those people use their skills to live in our society? How does our society refuse them admittance? Why can’t there be other ways of living that aren’t mainstream? Why can’t community be allowed for them? What if we had a community center on land that teaches people to build Cobb houses from soil, straw, and water? And teach them to garden and grow their own food? Why does society demonize anyone who doesn’t choose to work within the standard 9 to 5? How can we change our thinking to see other new ways of living? Like the speaker said, we are the change, we either create or conform to something that is not feeding our souls. We all know it’s true but we go through the day surrounded by a host of unhappy people. I feel too many people have felt they had no other choice but to belong to something that they don’t even realize isn’t what they really need. We need society that nourishes the good in us, that promotes opportunities for us to build each other up, to create a social fabric that weaves everyone into the cloth. A quilt of all the diversity of life. We know that ancient rainforests have many types of life that creates stability, resilience. If one tree is attacked, the neighboring trees can lend assistance through the root system. We need those community roots. What we have now is individual trees planted on vast plains of isolation! Not good for forest survival, and likewise not good for us as humans. It takes more than a smile, a hug, a nod of approval, letting someone go first, or seeing all people as our brothers and sisters. But that is the mindset that can give us the strength to reinvent society based on a human cooperation model. I feel sustainable living in a collection of communities would be a good start. Give the beuracrats (sic), the vision to remove the obstacles, rules, that prevent us from changing our society. Convince the wealthy elites that they can be part of the solution too. Stop all class, race, political divides. Don’t blame anyone for where we are as a society. That like telling a story from one perspective and insisting that someone else sees it the same way. As people we all have ideas that can create the comfortable social conditions. And yes, I agree we have to be willing to be fearless instead of fearful. To risk looking silly or making mistakes or questioning either inside our own conscience or questioning others in a questioning way. Not to try to change another person’s mind through force, but by giving others the food for thought they need to grow in understanding. Because I agree, the more we understand others, the more misconceptions we can remove from our own thinking and the more refined we become in pursuing the changes we need. Long winded comment. But hopefully not a lot of hot air!

    • marie landry
      marie landry Month ago

      radicle thinking out the box because we live in a capitalistic society you see if there are no poor then then can be no rich if there are no homeless then my million dollar mansion means nothing it is ego that keeps us afraid fear is the greatest factor of all did you ever notice stev jobs never gave up his millions as was dying people always share their death bed wisdom which while they were healthy they never thought of as long as there are thinkers like you humanity just might have a chance ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • Sanó Mihoì
      Sanó Mihoì 2 months ago

      Beautifully put. It reads my mind. Thanks for posting.

    • StopAnimalSufferings
      StopAnimalSufferings 2 months ago

      Beautiful thoughts. Beautiful mind. Beautiful soul you are, T Nord! 💕🌻🌷💕 Thanks!!

  • Marivel Early
    Marivel Early 2 months ago +32

    Being a couple requires you to have meaningful conversations, learning about each other. I assume you guys didnt get the message?

    • Maria Merkabah
      Maria Merkabah 2 months ago

      +nicholascremato so what's the first step?

    • nicholascremato
      nicholascremato 2 months ago

      I have been a couples counselor for 16 years and values and epistemology is much more important than just remembering and listening. People constantly have conflict in their personal relationships because they are taught to ignore their genetic motivations.

  • HEART FLOW
    HEART FLOW 2 months ago +1

    hi u remind me of Einstein

  • Marija Savic Lopicic
    Marija Savic Lopicic 2 months ago +1

    Many ideas in this brief section one thing that I would like to rais awareness for was at 16:30 mins he asks for 'a new doomsday book' - tell me who you are so we can discover the truth by viewing many different vantage points - that's kind of what TedX does....(just as an example)

  • Alia Osman
    Alia Osman 2 months ago

    Amanda Rae LISTEN to what he's saying !!! Derrrrr !!!

  • Irene Choe
    Irene Choe 2 months ago +1

    "Listen to the living and to the dead."

  • Lili Fox
    Lili Fox 2 months ago

    Fantastic 👌🏽

  • Kristine Willems
    Kristine Willems 2 months ago

    I am sorry, I lost it at a certain point.

  • Dana Hash Hash
    Dana Hash Hash 2 months ago +60

    Everyone's upset because it s not about couples, stop being outraged about the title, learn to let go of the little inconveniences and enjoy this great content even if you eexpected something else...this exercise alone will help you have a happy couple. Peace

    • Zana Allen
      Zana Allen 2 months ago

      Dana Hash Hash Oddly, what he’s speaking about is very objective in answering, yet is the key to coupling +

  • Jennifer F
    Jennifer F 2 months ago

    What are the 25 questions?

  • Todd Hall
    Todd Hall 2 months ago +4

    The key to saving our failing civilization is community. Community is the most basic of concepts, yet it seems that we have forgotten its value...or perhaps we have never known it properly. Either way, with the great difficulties that we face in modern life (driven by population density), the only way to overcome is to work together. To work together, we must take time to know one another; and to know one another, we must communicate.

  • Anna Phillips
    Anna Phillips 2 months ago +12

    Yes I am One of those women who no longer are willing to shut up. In admitting to that I also admit to craving conversation that is meaningful between people of diverse backgrounds. I think that we no longer ask challenging or relevant questions of people in our lives and never of strangers. It is not acceptable without permission. There is no protocol for that kind of conversation without establishing some kind of trust or agreement.

  • Alexandra Nistor
    Alexandra Nistor 3 months ago

    Very good!

  • Charnita Arora
    Charnita Arora 3 months ago

    his eyes :)

  • Intuition Goddess
    Intuition Goddess 3 months ago

    My approach to listening is to find their truth in what they say.

  • bibbyni
    bibbyni 3 months ago

    Some good points, however many seem to be off the topic of being a couple :)

  • Jezelle Lacson
    Jezelle Lacson 3 months ago

    ❤️

  • blazeovich
    blazeovich 3 months ago +11

    No solution?
    Have you read the Bible?

  • lily silfversparre
    lily silfversparre 3 months ago

    Love the Message,! Reinventar

  • Penelope Lambson
    Penelope Lambson 3 months ago +2

    He discusses why it is important to listen but not really about how to develop that skill. And nothing at all specific to couples. A bit frustrating. Lots of theory typical of university humanities lecture style but kindly and thoughtfully done.

    • Marivel Early
      Marivel Early 2 months ago

      Being a couple requires you to have meaningful conversations, learning about each other. I assume you didnt get the message?

  • mary ann lantigua
    mary ann lantigua 3 months ago +5

    I love what he's preaching... aim for self realization, self fulfillment, knowing others is what life is all about and knowing oneself

  • Medita con Luis
    Medita con Luis 3 months ago

    Love it

  • Zombaya
    Zombaya 3 months ago

    “He didn’t mention anything about being a couple.” Yes, he did- do you think it’s possible that if that’s what a person thinks about this talk, perhaps they don’t know what a “couple” actually is? It is two people who understand these concepts deciding that the other is their favorite person. If someone doesn’t understand that these means of communication are *essential* to human connection, let alone, a romantic one, should they really be looking for a romantic relationship?

  • Jeanne Komiss
    Jeanne Komiss 3 months ago

    I love this man!!

  • mhllxt23
    mhllxt23 4 months ago

    Great discussion, but when comes about art to begin a couple has to be work 50-50... otherwise nothing can be achieved for long term!

  • Miguel Pastor
    Miguel Pastor 4 months ago +3

    Women are becoming educated, hahaha??? *Ha ha ha???* This is not only for women , this is for children, men and women all over the world. Is this so difficult to understand?

  • galbraitheve
    galbraitheve 4 months ago

    Thank you.

  • Ronique Breaux Jordan
    Ronique Breaux Jordan 4 months ago +2

    Listening and doing what you can....

  • MIRNA PAIVA
    MIRNA PAIVA 4 months ago +1

    I am so greatful to hear what you are offering the World! Thank you. That is certainly what is needed! To listen without judment, without preconceived ideias is the hardest task for humans. As Well as the lack of empathy in a relatinship might be what brings miss understandings.

  • rebounceofsouladdict
    rebounceofsouladdict 4 months ago +12

    "In this talk Theodore discussses how some couples can have long loving relationships." This talk is about human relationships in general, absolutely NOTHINH specific to couple. Stop using misleading titles on youtube to get more views ! RU-clip has its guideline, be aware of it :) Change the title Tedx Talks

  • Aparna Nair
    Aparna Nair 4 months ago

    The content and title does not match

  • arwenenchanted
    arwenenchanted 4 months ago +37

    The title should be called 'The Art of Being Human'. Is it just me or are people forgetting how to just be human.

    • These Truths
      These Truths 6 days ago

      4-12-2019
      What I've concluded is building relationships is a serious human skill. It has always been found and then cultivated like food has been. There are pockets and clusters of good humans who know how to be such, but also large areas of growing people who do not. If we don't move around (education & discovery means only--household moving not required) you will likely be stagnant with whatever you find around you...and that may be an abundance of selfish people in your given circumstances. I'm always looking for the good humans...where they thrive or seem to be bountiful without my help. What I've found is they thrive when and wherever part of their egos allows them to think about this topic, done so well by this good communicating human being, but then act well on it also.
      Imagine if you were a traveler from another world who landed here on present Earth and saw X-Y-Z problems, and your world had overcome those already. You would help right? Hopefully. We acknowledge that but we aren't being the good natured, harmless change ourselves right in our backyard. Why? We feel like we're too alone in the adventure. Just fear, once again. The natives and old-timers are what keep revisiting our Earthen egos, trying to wake us up to the romance that is waiting to thrive amonsgt us. Good CommUnity is a terrible thing to waste. Come on.
      Allied Fathers Community Unions (AFCU).
      be in the change

    • Tara Wagner
      Tara Wagner 2 months ago +2

      arwenenchanted I think to forget we would have to have something to forget. I’m not so sure we’ve ever done it well. 😆

  • S C
    S C 4 months ago

    Beautiful Soul💚🙏🏼☮️

  • Hera Hagstoz
    Hera Hagstoz 4 months ago +1

    I love his ideas about cultural centers. Using social media to generate and encourage actual sociability is ironically brilliant. Hotels that encourage people to expand their own experiences

  • heidi summer
    heidi summer 4 months ago +1

    TRULY AMAZING ADVICE ❤️

  • iam kayem
    iam kayem 4 months ago +1

    He talks in an interesting way, but there isn't one topic in this talk. Certainly not being a couple.

    • Marivel Early
      Marivel Early 2 months ago

      iam kayem Being a couple requires you to have meaningful conversations, learning about each other. I assume you didnt get the message?

  • Gianna Vision
    Gianna Vision 4 months ago +1

    Blessed!

  • Dan Shade
    Dan Shade 4 months ago +3

    I found him hard to listen to because I was listening to my friend who saying stuff about things while I was checking my mail and making dinner for my friend's nephew who needs an alligator meat only diet and fluffed llama fur foot gloves. Could someone maybe sum it up for me?

    • Cindy Mulvey
      Cindy Mulvey 4 months ago +1

      Dan Shade a good example of fear, too, busy too listen.

  • Lisa Hyyppa
    Lisa Hyyppa 4 months ago

    Conjunction: the truest form of human connection, in action.

    • Lisa Hyyppa
      Lisa Hyyppa 4 months ago

      Conjecture: anticipated conjunction, with great degree of supposition.

  • Kristie Lee M
    Kristie Lee M 4 months ago +7

    Great talk. Change the title

  • Jolie Miranda
    Jolie Miranda 4 months ago +4

    I think this is very rich content. However, title would've been more appropriate if it "The Art of Co-habitation". If we don't listen to each other, the world will be in chaos.

    • Cindy Mulvey
      Cindy Mulvey 4 months ago

      Jolie Miranda that's a key to what's happening in the world of politics.

  • Gitanjali Nandan
    Gitanjali Nandan 4 months ago +21

    Thoughtful man. Like his ideas on reinventing work. My view is he is caught up in the lingo of the past, which in the West, has a mental bias, using terminology like: "whats in your head" "think" "see". We need to go beyond this now. Approach ourselves, our experience and others holistically - with the head the heart and the body. Its not what is only in your head that counts, in fact that can be the least part of "experience". We also need to communicate with tools beyond words. Our mental faculties are also caught up in dichotomies eg me, you. So he emphasises knowing the other, but really, in knowing the other, we also know ourselves more, such is the paradox the mind finds hard to grasp.

  • Dariya Tukhmetova
    Dariya Tukhmetova 4 months ago +73

    He said a lot of interesting things, but nothing about art of being a couple 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

    • T Nord
      T Nord 2 months ago

      Actually, he’s says at the beginning that he isn’t giving typical advice or formulas. I saw his talk as what applies to society also applies to couples. I think he could have tied that in better. I believe his idea is that if develop listening skills it can improve society. He’s more interested in the big picture and didn’t connect back the couples, totally agree.

    • Asha Verma
      Asha Verma 3 months ago +1

      True

    • Jeanog
      Jeanog 3 months ago +3

      +Hera Hagstoz , Yes, I believe that the best mutually rewarding relationships come when each cares more to know how the other thinks and feels, than having a personal agenda, or "working an angle" to keep an advantage, or shut out what isn't comfortable to hear. Seems very simple, and isn't it what we all want with another person? But yes, does require humility. This man is inspiring to me!

    • Hera Hagstoz
      Hera Hagstoz 4 months ago +14

      Hmmm, this talk was all about how to listen and develop skills that help you become an active listener. 85% of being a couple is learning how to listen and understand and then have compassion and empathy for each other. This is directly related. He also discloses straight away he has no quick fixes for people.

  • Mirjana Mikin
    Mirjana Mikin 4 months ago +1

    Thank you!

  • Nicole Tolmie
    Nicole Tolmie 4 months ago +25

    Title is misleading

  • Marie Nimo
    Marie Nimo 4 months ago +3

    Thank you reaching out!
    The importance of fulfilling the need to be heard is integral in defining dignity. In that light, asking others to share their story enables others to feel that writing their story will make their story known. Brilliant 🙂

    But, if I may offer another perspective, I believe the purpose of life, for humans, is vastly different now than ever before. Consider the possibility that we're contributing to hastening the 6th extinction far quicker than if humans never existed.
    Wouldn't then the base line, of our Relevant purpose, be for our species to halt our own Extinction? For me, the extinction of most life as we know it (above a certain sea level lol) provides enough motivation to urge on what I've coined as our next purpose to life:
    Help humanity achieve Harmony with Nature.
    This does not mean to return to exact ways life for humans proceeded pre-industrial-age! Work with what knowledge and technology we currently have. Help each other shape culture(s) so they remain true to themselves (if that's what they want) as long as all abide by curving our habits (daily, monthly and customary annually) to as small of a carbon footprint and environmental hazard (globally!) as humanly possible. This can be done.
    It's a matter of will and a shift in wanting.
    We need to help each other not want or need excessive things/experiences.
    We live in the day and age of VR. We don't have to travel. We can do away with urban sprawl. We can focus our (governments) efforts/wealth/creativity to fixing faulty infrastructural problems as well as better educate the public on nurturing healthy lifestyles. And by healthy I mean not just the individual self but also the community at large and environment we all share.
    Anyhow, less about the purpose of life and more about what you really wanted to know~
    What about my life would you like to know first?
    Would you help me with how I'd like to approach contributing to my coined saying of:
    "Help humanity achieve Harmony with Nature"
    ?

    • J. Adkins
      J. Adkins 3 months ago

      +Marie Nimo
      Very true.
      And there is nothing we, mankind, can do to stop this Earth Cycle and the changes occurring now and in the future from happening, anymore than stopping the Earth from spinning.
      There will be some extinctions. This has started. However, new types will arise. This has happened before.
      When this cycle ends, mankind will be far more in harmony with nature than now.
      To be in harmony now with nature is to love and respect that everything has a consciousness from a single blade of grass to the most majestic trees.
      By doing so as an individual it affects the whole, even if they don't realize it on a conscious level.
      It is no mere accident that you, me and everyone else are here. We are living at an exciting time! With more to come.
      No need to worry or fear, for those that do, for fear and worry never changes a thing.
      I advise people to live, laugh, love and embrace life! Doesn't mean not to cry when moved by sadness. Or when our hearts break. After all, we're human.
      And should you (plural) find rough roads, trust you will get through.

      Meanwhile, stay off of glaciers! 😉

    • Marie Nimo
      Marie Nimo 3 months ago +1

      True. And the melting permafrost makes our human faulted accidents like the Porter Ranch Leak look like a mere trip to it's sinkhole 😬

    • J. Adkins
      J. Adkins 4 months ago

      I agree with a lot you wrote. And definitely believe we need to live in harmony with nature as well as each other.
      As for extinction, I disagree. Mankind will thrive but I suspect there may be far less people.
      The carbon footprint isn't the only reason for climate change. The Earth has cycles and we are on the cusp of the cycle happening now.
      I don't know how things will ultimately unfold. What I do know is it will and think the collective consciousness of mankind and our humanity will play a huge role in overcoming and thriving.
      We need each other beyond politics, governments and borders.
      Peace

  • H. J. Ramelan
    H. J. Ramelan 4 months ago +5

    Has almost nothing to do with the art of being a couple. Disappointed

    • Life of Value
      Life of Value 2 months ago +1

      if you both apply what he said in your relation/ interaction you both will be a couple, because real communication makes the connection and the couple

  • Billiejo Bernal
    Billiejo Bernal 4 months ago +54

    Women are no longer willing to shut up and do what they're told...bahahaha! Didn't see that one coming!

    • Frannie Jennings
      Frannie Jennings 2 months ago +2

      Jani, We are destined to lead them all. If we cannot get them to laugh as they fall into line, we cannot lead.

    • Karen Kerr
      Karen Kerr 3 months ago +6

      +Jani Chevalier It was funny because it is so over due. It was shocking and therefore funny to release the tension it broke. True smart humour.

    • Agnus Plum
      Agnus Plum 3 months ago +1

      Jani Chevalier He was being self deprecating.

    • Jani Chevalier
      Jani Chevalier 4 months ago +9

      *Yes. I wonder why people laughed? It is just not funny at all*

  • Amanda Rae
    Amanda Rae 4 months ago +177

    The title of this is misleading

    • littleladytomboy
      littleladytomboy 2 months ago

      It seems misleading at first, because we are used to thinking about romantic duets when we hear/read the word "couple" and in general romantic relationships have taken over many words' meaning e.g. the word "relationship". But from a different viewpoint, what the title is simply saying is the art of being a couple of humans on this planet :)

    • Limsdorf
      Limsdorf 2 months ago

      It is in fact difficult to apply what he's saying to the title of the video.
      To assume that someone has never studied at Oxford and has had some major ruptures in one's significant relationships (who has not?) is quite easy, or am I wrong? If you WANT to find a connection between title and video, you will find it (so I did, even though I did't study in Oxford and even though I experienced ruptures in my significant relationships - an experience for which I am not ungrateful).

    • Alia Osman
      Alia Osman 2 months ago +1

      Amanda Rae you are unable to listen and apply what he's saying to the title of the video. You want simple answers and solutions to how to be a couple. He said at the start he wasn't going to give that. He's repeatedly saying this needs a great deal of thinking.......on your part not his. I guess you've never studied at Oxford and you've had some major ruptures in your significant relationships. LISTEN to him. He's an intelligent person.

    • So_cal_barbi
      So_cal_barbi 2 months ago +4

      Not misleading only did not meet your expectations. What a great mind he has. The market should be a more kind and friendly atmosphere of service to offer the opportunity which ought to be free? Like music lessons for children.

    • Heather Christie
      Heather Christie 3 months ago

      Yeah it has nothing to do with being a couple for the most part.

  • Andrea Rodriguez
    Andrea Rodriguez 4 months ago +69

    Talk TO each other. Not AT each other.
    Great talk 👍🏼

  • Bob crabs
    Bob crabs 4 months ago +21

    This is true is you are still stuck in your ego. Take up meditation and Yoga, loose your persona and then you won’t have to try at all to understand and have genuine empathy for others. Communication and feelings of compassionate compromise will flow effortlessly.

    • phoenix rising
      phoenix rising 4 months ago +1

      +Josuzaki Self doesn't have anything to do with ego.

    • Josuzaki
      Josuzaki 4 months ago +5

      If you lose your ego, you won't be able to be in communion with others. You need a self to have a relationship with other selves.

  • Michael Ennis
    Michael Ennis 4 months ago +4

    Ramble much?

  • Water Ski Lake Austin
    Water Ski Lake Austin 4 months ago

    Bravo! Great full!

  • Brenda Banducci
    Brenda Banducci 4 months ago +46

    I really appreciate this talk. I always say that every 2 people have a language to discover. Being vulnerable is key. It leads to understanding. It's a release that leads us to a greater world of, each other. It's been written, Psalm 33:15
    He who fashions the hearts of them all, Who considers and understands all that they do. Let us strive to do this💞

    • Ngân Trần
      Ngân Trần 3 months ago +2

      Love the way you said: "Being vulnerable is key. It leads to understanding". Totally agree ;)

    • Taylor Sims
      Taylor Sims 4 months ago

      Lovely 💕

    • Brenda Banducci
      Brenda Banducci 4 months ago

      Help each other to let each other be understood

  • Hola
    Hola 5 months ago +4

    I love this man! Thank you

  • Rabbit Piet
    Rabbit Piet 7 months ago +27

    Ted is short for Theodore; Ted is giving a TEDtalk

  • Livon Diramerian
    Livon Diramerian 7 months ago +18

    A healthy brain can accept new ideas @ any age. Fear doesn't allow us to be creative. Work better be based on being in harmony with human & nature needs.

  • Gloria Hester
    Gloria Hester Year ago

    Thank You my good man for an interesting video.

  • Kyle Thompson
    Kyle Thompson Year ago +4

    "a leading world expert on France and *what it means to be French*" can i please get paid to be an expert on what it means to be anything? ill even let you pick the topic.

    • Michel Bourgeois
      Michel Bourgeois Year ago +1

      As far as I'm concerned, from reading a number of his books, being an expert on the french is irrelevant, though he may be. I have come to believ he is an expert in leading you to question the relationships between human beings, using French society as a canvas. I invite you to read his Intimate History of Humanity. I, for one, came out a different person.

  • Diane Schmidt
    Diane Schmidt 2 years ago +196

    I need this man to be my grandpa

  • Shauday Smith
    Shauday Smith 2 years ago +9

    while the concept of listening is definitely an important topic that everyone should be encouraged to be more open to in a less guarded fashion. And the previous commenter has a good point of the requirement of being humble, helps to enable honest listening.... this is a rambling, long-winded talk about nothing. The title has nothing to do with the whatever he was talking about, and the anecdotes don't matter. The description it says Theodore discusses how some couples have long loving relationships . . . . where did he talk about that!??! Sorry bro.

    • Marivel Early
      Marivel Early 2 months ago

      Being a couple requires you to have meaningful conversations, learning about each other. I assume you didnt get the message?

    • whitebutterfly
      whitebutterfly 4 months ago +4

      I think he's asking or encouraging people to look outside of 'themselves' and their familiar relationships..coupled or not. He's researching pushing out boundaries to get to know others..instead of getting to know oneself..it's generosity of time and spirit

    • David Herz
      David Herz 5 months ago +4

      yes, I guess he needed bells and whistles since the fact of his dignified, serene and rich presence just isn't enough for some people

    • Gloria Hester
      Gloria Hester Year ago +2

      But stumbling onto this talk it's interesting, with me .

    • Vortex
      Vortex Year ago

      Shauday Smith im with u bruh.

  • celal777
    celal777 2 years ago +207

    I think what he's saying is you need to be humble. That is what is needed for listening. There is very little listening these days because there is very little humility.