Infidelity: to stay or go…? | Lucy Beresford | TEDxFolkestone

Share
Embed
  • Published on Aug 24, 2018
  • We assume that ending a relationship after betrayal is the best course of action. Yet relationship expert and broadcaster Lucy Beresford passionately argues that the more courageous option is to stay and rebuild that relationship.
    Drawing from her work with clients (details changed for confidentiality) and from celebrity culture (the rapper Jay-Z spoke publicly about cheating on his wife Beyoncé),
    in this talk Lucy identifies:
    - the 3 courageous ways the betrayer and the betrayed can start to repair their relationship;
    - the 3 things the betrayer MUST do, to rebuilt trust; and
    - the Number 1 thing all couples must do to protect their relationship from being blown off course
    Lucy Beresford hosts LBC Radio’s Sex and Relationships show as well as the show Love Decoded for dating website eHarmony, and is an Agony Aunt on ITV’s This Morning. She’s the author of 4 books, including the global best-seller Happy Relationships: at home, work and play. She works as a psychotherapist at The Grace Clinic, London and from time to time at The Delhi Psychiatry Centre in India under Dr. Sunil Mittal.
    Feel free to get in touch with her on Twitter @lucyberesford or visit her website www.lucyberesford.co.uk Lucy is a writer, broadcaster, psychotherapist and documentary maker - in other words, a global storyteller. She hosts LBC Radio’s Sex & Relationships phone-in show, reviews the newspapers on Sky News, and is an Agony Aunt on ITV’s This Morning. She even blogs for Huffington Post UK Lifestyle. She was shortlisted for ‘Dating Expert of the Year 2015′ by UK Dating Awards, is on the Faculty of The School of Life and is a Fellow of the RSA. Interesting fact? Just the once, off Victoria Falls bridge in Zimbabwe, Lucy did bungee jumping. It changed her life - in a fantastic way. Now she bungee-jumps metaphorically, leaping into the unknown and having adventures. Like TEDx…? This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Comments • 933

  • Twowheel Tony
    Twowheel Tony Day ago

    The speaker in the video is obviously a chronic cheater

  • Khalid Kammouss
    Khalid Kammouss 2 days ago

    I have to say after listening to your speech that you sound like you found the solution to every case . Sounds like an easy way to take , but every case is so different from what you have delivered. I think you have generalised this and instead you should of at least mention that every marriage experience is not the same not even talking about each one’s upbringing and possible early childhood trauma . These speeches like yours has slowed down people to move on and not waste their time and actually give chance to themselves to find the true person without rushing to anything . People need to spend time to know one another . To get the real message and to discover the right trust and safe nest . Anyway . I just wanted to highlight this to you if you can think about it . Thanks anyway .

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Day ago

      Thanks for watching Khalid, and for sharing your perspective - really helpful.

  • Kayla Wasserman
    Kayla Wasserman 2 days ago

    Only the Saints would stay. The one betrayed would want to stay for the children's sake, but the betrayer wants to play around more without thinking of the children's feelings. We can only take so much. Women always end up sacrificing of what is left of the broken family, working and taking care of the children.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Day ago

      Thanks Kayla for watching. Really appreciate your ideas.

  • Barrier Boy
    Barrier Boy 3 days ago

    a person who would betray you this way is not a partner. they may not be an adversary, but they are certainly not a partner. they've chosen to become another faceless face in the crowd.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Day ago

      That's a beautiful way of putting it BB, thanks very much for sharing.

  • Jordan Allen
    Jordan Allen 4 days ago +1

    I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  • Robert Johnson
    Robert Johnson 4 days ago

    Always go. Otherwise, you are condoning and encouraging it. I left. From a guy who was cheated on with four children. People have to know there are consequences when they cheat and those consequences are their marriage is over. It has to get to the point where when they cheat for the first time, they come to you and say start divorce proceedings, I just cheated on you.

  • W L
    W L 4 days ago

    Powerful. The situation that Lucy describes is very familiar. I've been married 17 years, together 20, two small children at home...and my wife had an affair for almost THREE years where she fell in love with the other man (was too was married with three kids!) I forgave her by showing my vulnerability and accepted the sweetness with the sorrow to salvage what I thought was a great marriage. My wife only did the "S and the O" of the S.O.S. She was sorry, remorseful and took full accountability. But she never took action to rebuild us or rebuild the trust as she continued to lie and disappoint me by talking to and seeing this man. And I continued to forgive, hoping to salvage and rebuild! She never allowed us to work out what led to the affair; I still have no idea what triggered it except it was an escape from our monotonous life. It's now been 10 months since I found out. In those 10 months, she didn't give marriage counseling a try as she thinks she knows more than a therapist. She refused to see a therapist for herself until the last month and she's only seen them once. She's still living under our roof, even though she's gone out an rented a home thinking she was ready to leave. She is back and forth and I'm at a breaking point. She claims she wants to be here with me, with her family, but can't let the man she claims she loves go. She's ruined several close relationships in her own family, confused our small kids, financially destroyed us, but can't make up her mind. I know that in the end, we will go our desperate ways which breaks my heart. I've always made her feel safe, loved and she was always, always heard. I guess sometimes that's not enough.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 2 days ago

      Dear WL - thank you very much for watching, and for sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear you in so much pain. If she can't make up her mind, you have to make up your mind. Wherever in the world you are listening from, I hope you are getting the support you need. Best wishes, Lucy

    • Jordan Allen
      Jordan Allen 4 days ago +1

      I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  • Thai Pham
    Thai Pham 5 days ago +1

    I stayed and I tried. Sometimes that person takes you for granted and walks all over you again. You hear their words of 'attrition' and forgive again. Then the cycle continues. Again. And again. Sometimes, you just have to say enough is enough and walk away.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Day ago

      @Thai Pham Thank you so much. You don't way where you are watching from, but I hope you have good support around you.

    • Thai Pham
      Thai Pham 2 days ago

      @Lucy Beresford thanks for the reply. I actually think this video was amazing and truly believe in a lot of the issues you raised in the video. I will give it a final go and see how it all pans out. And will recommend others to watch

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 2 days ago +1

      Hi TP, thanks for watching. I think you're right, in many cases it's about respecting your boundaries, knowing you tried, and then moving on. I hope you are in a better place now.

    • Jordan Allen
      Jordan Allen 4 days ago +1

      I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  • Jer F
    Jer F 5 days ago

    I don't belive the 99% to 1% deal if there is infidelity 1 person chose to make a mistake playing the blame game for someone else's choice is a total cop out, I call BS.

  • Fabrizia R
    Fabrizia R 6 days ago

    I try to imagine how is to love someone with all your heart and find out he or she is a cheater. They say love and hate are very similar feelings. I would not accept this, as long as I'm a good wife, you have no reason to do this to me. I will not live in fear and disgust just because you had no respect for me. I deserve better.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 2 days ago

      Thanks for watching Patricia and sharing your thoughts. Great that you focus on self-respect.

    • Jordan Allen
      Jordan Allen 4 days ago +1

      I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  • Utkarsh Chitte
    Utkarsh Chitte 7 days ago +1

    people who forgive and accept back their cheating partner.....have self-worth issues they think they cannot live without their partner .....in reality we come alone in this world and we die alone ( Your wife won't die because you died ) or worst they think they won't find someone better.... Don't repair ...be strict and replace

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 2 days ago

      Thanks for watching Utkarsh, and for engaging with the topic. Really interesting point you raise.

  • Miah
    Miah 8 days ago

    Had an experience with my so cheating. She told me what she had done 5 days after what happened but she lied about what happened when I asked. That hurt a lot. Im trying my best to forget, I try my best to move on. I still have issues trusting now.
    My biggest issue is that she doesn’t know why she chooses to do things sometimes. She is one of the smartest people I know but she doesn’t know herself at all. And it eats me up inside that she doesn’t know why she did it. She can’t ever tell me why she did it and I have to live with it.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 2 days ago

      Thanks Miah for watching, and contributing. I'm sorry you have been hurt. I hope you have good support around you.

  • Victoria Hadden
    Victoria Hadden 8 days ago

    Nice content, I felt cheated recently and i needed to make sure my instincts were true until i was referred to a hacking company who took care of the hack job. They hacked him ans I’m so glad i had a proven truth that he was cheating. Contact them if you need any of their services on @brandhackers1 on Instagram or chat them up on WhatsApp +19163042321

  • TA Lindsay
    TA Lindsay 9 days ago +4

    How many times are you supposed to forgive infidelity with the same spouse?? You might simply just be with the wrong person in a relationship. If someone truly loves you, they wouldn't think of hurting you. Period. It's a fact of immaturity and self centeredness. They see something they want and they take the opportunity as it presents itself. If they then say they did it because of something you didn't do in the relationship, they are deflecting guilty away from you.

    • Jordan Allen
      Jordan Allen 4 days ago

      I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  • Leah
    Leah 10 days ago

    This is the most out of pocket Ted talk ever

  • Truth Artistic
    Truth Artistic 13 days ago

    So I'm wondering something, in the world we live in today does Absolutely EVERYONE cheat?? That's just what it kinda seems like lately.

  • vacer da god
    vacer da god 13 days ago

    To hurt somebody

  • iamlamb_
    iamlamb_ 14 days ago

    Thank you, im so lost on what to do

  • offiecooper
    offiecooper 16 days ago

    thank you for this.

    • Jordan Allen
      Jordan Allen 4 days ago +1

      I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  • yoda3988
    yoda3988 16 days ago

    But as you stand there in that skin tight dress men and some woman are thinking of having infidelity with you . Seriously it will never end .

  • Iy. joga
    Iy. joga 18 days ago +2

    Hello everyone, just from watching this video I can recall my experience with my ex partner during our time together. Started developing suspicions and it really affected me mentally and physically because I was not sure what to believe until I encountered a cyber expertise willing to provide all the foundations and proofs to my suspicion on my ex partner. I couraged up and employed the services of this cyber aid precisely a company expertise. To my greatest surprise I was provided access to my ex's call logs, social media chats especially WhatsApp,Instagram and Facebook. I could track his movements or location via the apps I had access to. Worse of all was his phone calls which were recorded on my behalf. I am the better for it mentally and physically as I dont stress myself on the thought of anyone cheating me with the aid of the cyber help mechanism I have at my disposal through CYBERBUGPROTOCOL @GMAIL, COM. You can be helped also

    • sandra nachi
      sandra nachi 13 days ago

      hi divorce is a very difficult step in any relationship, i went through mine. but with the help of @ *BOOKLEE128_ on instagram* i was able to gain access to my husbands social media account

  • Larry Schulin
    Larry Schulin 18 days ago

    Anyone notice her dress?

    • Larry Schulin
      Larry Schulin 17 days ago

      Same goes for men except the clothing part. Men will, much more often than women, not care about their appearance. And besides, I usually don't listen to them anyway...😛

    • Larry Schulin
      Larry Schulin 17 days ago

      @Loretta Nericcio-Bohlman lol..I notice what women wear. It influences my decision on he credibility of the content. Just because someone is speaking on youtube or wherever, doesn't mean they are totally reliable on whatever the topic.

    • Loretta Nericcio-Bohlman
      Loretta Nericcio-Bohlman 17 days ago

      Larry, try focusing on content

  • Larry Schulin
    Larry Schulin 18 days ago

    Permission to have an affair, is the best way to prevent your partner from having one.

    • Larry Schulin
      Larry Schulin 17 days ago

      @Loretta Nericcio-Bohlman Very effective! Removes the edge, which is a large part of the thrill in having an affair.

    • Loretta Nericcio-Bohlman
      Loretta Nericcio-Bohlman 17 days ago +1

      Interesting tactic, not one I'd do but nonetheless

  • Larry Schulin
    Larry Schulin 18 days ago

    Pfffffttt...YOLO

  • Rich Lineman
    Rich Lineman 19 days ago

    Just got married 3 months ago. I found out Friday my newlywed wife has been talking to a guy behind my back for over a year. This came to a shock to me. I did my research & found out they were talking throughout the night, during her lunch breaks while I’m pulling a double trying to get money for a business, kids & a family. Smh. About a month ago she ditches work to meet up with him & does god knows what. Now with all this evidence she still denies everything. I am destroyed physically, mentally & def emotionally. I’m just lost

  • OneFinalTipple
    OneFinalTipple 19 days ago +1

    Infidelity is not the cause of relationship breakup. It's the relationship that caused infidelity. Either i) that person didn't want to be in a relationship governed by monogamy, ii) the relationship/each person were not right for each other in the first place, or iii) the person is a psychopath. Jay-Z and Beyonce had a massive financial incentive to stay together, so this is not a good example of courage.

  • blueflamingo1986
    blueflamingo1986 20 days ago

    but my partner made this woman pregnant so he has to support the child and in doing so has to see his child's mother. I am deeply hurt and just want to leave.

  • Josie H.
    Josie H. 20 days ago

    No don’t stay with them, leave. If they can cheat on you once, they will probably do it again.

  • Kurt Hansen
    Kurt Hansen 20 days ago +1

    Not my first time being cheated on, but the last person on earth I ever would of thought to cheat on me did. Why can't people just be honest and loyal? Selfishness... Just know for everyone else who had just been cheated on that it will get better with time. That you deserve to be happy and the right person will show up one day and be a part of your life forever. Just hang in there and have a positive attitude. It wasn't your fault for what they did. Sending peace and love your way. You're not alone.

  • Utkarsh Chitte
    Utkarsh Chitte 21 day ago

    Introspection will only lead you to the fact that you trusted the wrong woman

  • Utkarsh Chitte
    Utkarsh Chitte 21 day ago +5

    saying sorry is like applying band aid on gangrene.... I really doubt your credibility as a psychologist

    • Utkarsh Chitte
      Utkarsh Chitte 7 days ago

      @Lucy Beresford Change of behavior wont change the fact , the purity of the relationship is already gone...And even if the cheater somehow changes his/her behavior....the person who was cheated on will never be able to forget what happened.....No point in saving the sinking ship it's better to get on a life boat and sail to safety

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 17 days ago +2

      Thanks for watching Utkarsh and for sharing your thoughts. It's definitely more than just saying sorry - a whole programme of behaviour has to change before the person cheated on needs to even think about staying.

  • Jerry Vinson
    Jerry Vinson 22 days ago

    Its not about getting over the broken heart ,thats easy, its about the broken trust not so easy to get past ,

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 17 days ago

      Thanks Jerry for watching - a very good point made.

  • Julianna Gaeta
    Julianna Gaeta 22 days ago +1

    got me fcked up thinking I’m going to stay with someone who cheats on me

  • Daniel o
    Daniel o 24 days ago

    Hello everyone! If you require the service of a professional hacker to help track your partner's cell phone remotely, contact cyberhackanswers @ gmail com, he was excellent in helping me hack my wife’s phone without physical contact. you can also reach him on WhatsApp on +1 626-578-5544 , tell him James referred you he would give you a discount.

  • M SANFER
    M SANFER 24 days ago

    When a glass tumbler is broken, even using the best glue and manual dexterity, pieces will be missing, it will never be the same, the cracks will be seen and water may possibly leak out. Is not a mistake, it is a decision. Time to move on and eventually for a new glass.

    • Daniel o
      Daniel o 24 days ago

      M SANFER Hello everyone! If you require the service of a professional hacker to help track your partner's cell phone remotely, contact cyberhackanswers @ gmail com, he was excellent in helping me hack my wife’s phone without physical contact. you can also reach him on WhatsApp on +1 626-578-5544 , tell him James referred you he would give you a discount.

  • Jordy Huesca
    Jordy Huesca 25 days ago

    I decided to trust my ex again, hoping that she would learn from her mistakes and be loyal. But no, she just does the same thing again and has a secret relation with someone else. It doesn't hurt as much as the first time, but I know that this will not happen again.

    • Daniel o
      Daniel o 24 days ago

      Jordy Huesca Hello everyone! If you require the service of a professional hacker to help track your partner's cell phone remotely, contact cyberhackanswers @ gmail com, he was excellent in helping me hack my wife’s phone without physical contact. you can also reach him on WhatsApp on +1 626-578-5544 , tell him James referred you he would give you a discount.

  • john magee
    john magee 26 days ago

    I am ashamed to admit that I was guilty of multiple affairs (3) over the course of 14 years of marriage. My wife is a Godly woman and recently I have come to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior and now I am trusting Him to restore my marriage one day and bring me back home to my family. There is NEVER an excuse for infidelity and I can't blame anybody here for wanting to leave their partner/spouse if they have been betrayed. Honestly, I was surprised by the speakers thoughts on infidelity and of course I am encouraged, but it is going to be an uphill battle for me. I had a major problem and have since gotten the help I need and am rebuilding a great relationship with my children, and trying to honor my wife, despite being separated, by being honest, available for her, and respectful of her space. I do not know if she will ever take me back, but I am trusting in Him that she will seek the Lord and that He will make a way where there is no way. I love her with all of my heart and all of my being. All I need is for her to see and know that I am a new man in Christ. God Bless you all and for those who are struggling with making the decision on whether to stay or leave, pray about it and ask God for wisdom. He will give it to you 100% of the time.

    • Daniel o
      Daniel o 24 days ago

      Hello everyone! If you require the service of a professional hacker to help track your partner's cell phone remotely, contact cyberhackanswers @ gmail com, he was excellent in helping me hack my wife’s phone without physical contact. you can also reach him on WhatsApp on +1 626-578-5544 , tell him James referred you he would give you a discount.

  • Magz Sara
    Magz Sara 26 days ago

    I think serial cheaters (possibly psychopathic) cannot love with the mind but can love with the soul. They inhabit a ''live in the moment'' universe where taking a risk is a great thrill but their soul leads them home. As for the rest of us... they say the reason most humans don't cheat is the lack of opportunity and that goes for both parties.. You should NEVER cheat on the parent of your child during childhood, that should be a legal obligation..

  • rem mer
    rem mer 27 days ago

    Once you crumple a piece of paper and try to straighten it out, it will never be the same.

    • Daniel o
      Daniel o 24 days ago

      rem mer Hello everyone! If you require the service of a professional hacker to help track your partner's cell phone remotely, contact cyberhackanswers @ gmail com, he was excellent in helping me hack my wife’s phone without physical contact. you can also reach him on WhatsApp on +1 626-578-5544 , tell him James referred you he would give you a discount.

  • Deus Vult
    Deus Vult 27 days ago

    Sometimes I think these "psychologists" work so hard on researching something, they will say anything to prove they are right. So that internally, they don't feel like they wasted a bunch of time on the wrong answer.

  • Shivakumar Patil
    Shivakumar Patil 27 days ago

    Leave, just leave.Let both of you feel the dept of your love. Even after 6 months , if you both decide,Give it a fresh start. :)

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 26 days ago

      Thank you Shivakumar for watching and sharing your perspective. Always helpful.

  • The Pacquiao Legacy
    The Pacquiao Legacy 28 days ago

    naah..this is too positive for someone who deserves to be left.

  • Jk 007
    Jk 007 29 days ago

    Think of children before separation.

  • Lesley Ottignon
    Lesley Ottignon Month ago

    It was so good to hear this perspective on infidelity in a relationship. Over the years I have allways championed that people should try and stay together. One reason I felt like this that both people in the relationship will only go on and repeat the same mistakes, again and again unless they work out why the infidelity happened in the first place. Friends and acquainances over the years I have met have allways felt the opposite, for reasons such as lack of trust and humiliation and encouraged others to leave their relationships or left themselves. Lucy in her speech clarifies why you should give the relationship another chance and I thank her for that.
    Finally where Lucy talks about courage, she could perhaps use the word "self worth" instead. Because if the betrayed has self worth, then while they will emotionally be battered they will know that they are worth fighting for and that is what will have to happen for them to stay with the betrayer.

    • Daniel o
      Daniel o 24 days ago

      Hello everyone! If you require the service of a professional hacker to help track your partner's cell phone remotely, contact cyberhackanswers @ gmail com, he was excellent in helping me hack my wife’s phone without physical contact. you can also reach him on WhatsApp on +1 626-578-5544 , tell him James referred you he would give you a discount.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 26 days ago

      Thanks Lesley for watching, and responding. i'm glad you enjoyed my ideas.

  • panda bear
    panda bear Month ago

    29 years of marriage and caught my husband meeting up someone he met in his prison ministry. My heart broke and sank this year.. I find it hard to forget how his lips, hands and arms were on her.. My husband turned his back on me, our daughters and his God for this tramp. I don't see how he could be sorry and mean it..

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 26 days ago

      Thanks for watching PB, and sharing your thoughts. I'm sorry you had to go through such hurt.

  • George Olivas
    George Olivas Month ago +1

    Actually I believe two people can only be together when there is trust. The moment there is any sign of infidelity then it is better to find out for sure. Some years ago I met my partner and we have been married for so long now. He started acting strangely lately and I felt there is something going on. That is when I contacted this hacker and I couldn't believe what I found out. But this have helped me to take my final decision and am now having a happy life again. Thanks to this hacker I met, ciaberhacker2019. HE helped me found out everything happening in my marriage through hacking. You can contact him on email, ciaberhacker2019@ gmail. Thank me later, tell him Xian referred you.

  • Dragomir Tsonev
    Dragomir Tsonev Month ago

    What a brilliant and beautiful talk! I really hope that more people will come to that critical moment in their lives to truly realise that "to be courageous is to be vulnerable". I have already started overwriting all those default childhood defence mechanisms and re-programming my subconsciousness. I am scared, I am feeling vulnerable, and it is really HARD! Notwithstanding, I am excited to take this unique opportunity to become a better human being. I have no doubts that TRUE LOVE exists, and we must only accept and embrace it, for it will completely transform our lives. Thank you Lucy Beresford, your words have brought yet more faith and confidence to me. Peace and Love.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford 26 days ago

      Thanks Dragomir for watching, and for your kind words.

  • Salim Riley
    Salim Riley Month ago +34

    This is foolish. I don’t model my life after JZ and Beyoncé!

    • Jordan Allen
      Jordan Allen 4 days ago

      I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

    • Farai Musengi
      Farai Musengi 13 days ago

      She gave an example. She didn't model the whole talk on Jay z.

    • sandra nachi
      sandra nachi 13 days ago

      hi divorce is a very difficult step in any relationship, i went through mine. but with the help of @ *BOOKLEE128_ on instagram* i was able to gain access to my husbands social media account

  • tstokemb
    tstokemb Month ago

    Being there, this woman is wrong. The most courageous thing to do is to leave. To overcome and grow alone and actually find someone who truly deserves you.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Month ago

      Thanks for watching, and sharing your views.

  • Andy Krahn
    Andy Krahn Month ago

    I’m killing her

    • Andy Krahn
      Andy Krahn 17 days ago

      Loretta you’re right but I wouldn’t actually kill her. I’m just talking nonsense

    • Loretta Nericcio-Bohlman
      Loretta Nericcio-Bohlman 17 days ago

      Andy, why should you spend the rest of your life in jail because of stupidity?

  • TRY TRADING
    TRY TRADING Month ago

    What if you can not find the strength to forgive your cheating spouse. you will always worry when they will cheat again. if they cheated the first time and did not even worry about your feelings, they will do it again. this lady is crazy, stay, no. get out and leave em. they should not have cheated the first time. they will cheat again.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Month ago

      Thanks v much for watching and sharing your views. If they show no remorse, definitely time to go!

  • asunagullo
    asunagullo Month ago +1

    I think there is a chance of healing if the offender has the courage to say (and feel) I am sorry and he tries to nurture the relationship. But I think it is quite tough if he says "I am sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you" (as if it could possibly not hurt ) but at the same time he says he would do it again because what he lived was so intense, he wouldn't like to miss it. It is like saying: " I knew I was going to hurt you and I went on, I know I did hurt you and I would repeat it" and at the same time he says he loves you and wants to share his life with you. I think there are men who are compulsive cheaters. I honestly doubt there is a chance to heal that relationship, even in the person who's been cheated tries to forgive and forget.
    Anyway watching you was healing in itself. There are some people who have a special capacity of becoming a "balm" for emotional injuries.

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Month ago

      Wow, thanks Asunagullo for watching, and for your kind words. You're absolutely right, it is very tough when you are getting mixed messages from someone. That's why their response needs to be clear and consistent - if not...

  • Jordan Allen
    Jordan Allen Month ago +1

    I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  • Asnella D
    Asnella D Month ago +1

    Sometimes, you have to open your eyes and understand that while being hurt is the worst feeling, it is an inevitable part of life and there's not always a lesson in there. It's not about being 'the bigger person'. Love needs no glory or sense of victory to breathe. Focussing on courage or cowardice is kind of like saying, "hey you need to man up!" Well, no you don't. As you rightly pointed out, that infidelity may be a wake up call in rectifying what may have gone wrong. But that wakeup call isn't always about reconciliation. It's also about realizing the sacrifices, dreams and goals you have had to compromise in order to have that relationship work. I like to look at infidelity as a call to rewire yourself on an individual level and only then focus on building anything with another human. Furthermore, the fact that one has indulged in infidelity is more like a slap to the other one that conveys the idea that they were bored or just not enough. So I don't get why the other person has to be the bigger person and try finding a cure to this boredom. It's one thing to forgive, but to live with it is like painting a picture to the world that everything can be worked around. Well, no. Some things need not have to be redefined. A hard limit is a hard limit because the things that hurt people will always remain universally the same over generations to come.

    • Eternity Unites
      Eternity Unites 11 days ago +1

      no one should ever cheat or lie it changes you partners destiny

    • Loretta Nericcio-Bohlman
      Loretta Nericcio-Bohlman 17 days ago +1

      Well said Asnella!

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Month ago +1

      Hi Asnella, thanks for watching and sharing your thoughts. I like your idea of re-wiring yourself!

    • Jordan Allen
      Jordan Allen Month ago +1

      I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  • Rajesh Patel
    Rajesh Patel Month ago

    Why women think that there is always a greener grass on other side....If possible never forgive a cheater spouse unless n until u have kids..

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Month ago

      Thanks Rajesh for watching. Really appreciate it.

  • Emy Sayer
    Emy Sayer Month ago +1

    The hardest part of this video was not bursting into song. 🎼Should I stay or should I go noooooowwwww🎼

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Month ago

      Ha! Why didn't I think of that as my soundtrack to the talk?!! Thanks Emy for watching x

  • pleiades
    pleiades Month ago +1

    Will never want to be with that philanderer ever again.
    Want to see him homeless and ready to jump off a bridge.

    • Jordan Allen
      Jordan Allen Month ago +1

      I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

  • Sam Brian
    Sam Brian Month ago

    I was able to get full access to my girlfriend accounts. All thanks to @fanen_hacker on Instagram.he helped me expose her,He can hack devices, social media accounts, recover deleted messages and accounts, he’s so so reliable and affordable.

  • Dean Scott
    Dean Scott Month ago +2

    Hello I was devastated when I found out my partner was cheating on me, I was referred to @Fanen_hacker on Instagram. I was skeptical at first but he helped me expose my cheating girlfriend, I couldn’t believe she could do such to me, have an affair. Fanen_hacker exposed her, I can’t thank him enough.

    • Sam Brian
      Sam Brian Month ago

      Fanen_hacker is the best

  • Karen_ Kay
    Karen_ Kay Month ago

    Wow, I am not sure what I would do. When my friend got cheated on, (she is like my sister) I reserved what I thought she should do so she could come to her own conclusion, she ended up leaving him. But, I am completely unsure of what I would do. Ive been in my relationship for four years almost, and I truly love my partner, I am not sure if I would be able to throw everything away

    • Jordan Allen
      Jordan Allen Month ago +1

      I suspected my wife of cheating on me but I never had any proof. This went on for months, I didn't know what to do. i was so paranoid and decided to find a solution, i saw a recommendation about a private investigator and decided to contact him. I explained the situation about my wife to him and he said he was going to help me.I gave him all the informations he required and afterwards i received all my wife’s Iphones Text messages, whatsApp messages and calls, I was hurt when i saw a picture of my wife and her lover. I feel so bad about infidelity. but i am glad Mr james was able to help me get all this information, you can contact him via Gmail (worldcyberhackers) or whatsApp : +12678773020

    • Lucy Beresford
      Lucy Beresford Month ago

      Hi Karen, thanks very much for watching, and for highlighting how complicated it can be when you're in a relationship. Thanks for engaging with the topic.

    • Dean Scott
      Dean Scott Month ago

      Hello I was devastated when I found out my partner was cheating on me, I was referred to @Fanen_hacker on Instagram. I was skeptical at first but he helped me expose my cheating girlfriend, I couldn’t believe she could do such to me, have an affair. Fanen_hacker exposed her, I can’t thank him enough.