First Drafts: Holiday Cards 2018

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  • Published on Dec 13, 2018
  • It's the most wonderful time of the year to highlight imperfections made by holiday greeting card-makers.
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Comments • 137

  • Vargha Payandeh
    Vargha Payandeh 4 months ago

    I dont get this joke, would anyone be able to explain it to me: What did one Christmas tree say to the other: My hall pass is Chris Pine. Thank you!

  • ZdenekLU
    ZdenekLU 4 months ago

    Tell Chris Pine, who apparently is a really nice guy, to send her something. That would be awesome surprise! :D

  • Seetiyan
    Seetiyan 5 months ago

    Palm Beach, whoo! I'm also from Florida and now in a cold place. Stay warm this winter, people!

  • Emmy Leah
    Emmy Leah 5 months ago

    young lady

  • Rainna
    Rainna 5 months ago

    Pam was great!

  • Birdsong
    Birdsong 5 months ago +1

    She’s a grown-ass lady, so is it really nice to call her young? Does he refer to older men as”young man”?
    Be more respectful of all of her years lived and life experiences.

    • Lynne Dee Barrett
      Lynne Dee Barrett 5 months ago

      It's different ... kind of a turn of phrase thing ... we don't need to be quite so sensitive, do we?

  • trefrog
    trefrog 5 months ago +1

    this is heartwarming

  • Wubba lubba dub dub
    Wubba lubba dub dub 5 months ago

    I like to say "Happy Human Holiday"; it's kind, it's easy to remember, it includes everyone/anyone & it covers everything.

  • Jn Hln
    Jn Hln 5 months ago +1

    Wow! That was some lightning fast mic'ng of that "random" "volunteer"!

  • Jane Guarnera
    Jane Guarnera 5 months ago

    Todd, wash those dishes boo.

  • Jane Guarnera
    Jane Guarnera 5 months ago

    Put some rum in Pam's milk.

  • gerald willcox
    gerald willcox 5 months ago

    Yes ...Enjoy all the episodes Merry Christmas Stephen,,,....Old guy in Oregon..2018

  • salas7146
    salas7146 5 months ago

    She kind look's like Cynthia Nixon

  • Joffery Hollsworth
    Joffery Hollsworth 5 months ago +1

    That was suer cute, and it's cool to get audience members involved. Little bit awkward, but I can see this becoming a regular thing, with a bit of fine tuning. Really great way to break the forth wall, get lovers of the show involved, and bring a talk show into a more modern arena.

  • Keith Shannon
    Keith Shannon 5 months ago

    Great interaction! I hope Pam get's something great for Christmas, just as I hope everyone reading this comment get's something great for Christmas. Especially if that something is getting to spend time with someone special.

  • Jayme Ann
    Jayme Ann 5 months ago +1

    Good job Pam! Love this segment

  • Maria Julian
    Maria Julian 5 months ago +1

    0:34 his mic plays peek~a~boo. It is there when he stands up, then without any adjustment on his part, his.jacket is covering it by 0:36. hahaha

  • Bubble Gut
    Bubble Gut 5 months ago

    Why only white women?

  • lacey childs
    lacey childs 5 months ago

    Merry Christmas, He's Cooperating With Robert Muller...😂

  • nuwavghost
    nuwavghost 5 months ago +1

    “So you know about St. Patrick’s Day” 😎✌🏽🍀

  • Che M
    Che M 5 months ago

    No such thing as a cold month in South Florida =)

  • Stephen Houltham
    Stephen Houltham 5 months ago

    Would anyone else take the first drafts?

  • Poker Face
    Poker Face 5 months ago

    What an attractive MILF :D

  • Paul Castro
    Paul Castro 5 months ago +1

    Bet she voted for Trump

  • AsashinDaka
    AsashinDaka 5 months ago +1

    Why Colbert always picking women from the audience?

  • cdcruizer05
    cdcruizer05 5 months ago +1

    I just love Stephen he’s the best at late night

  • Marie Coppola
    Marie Coppola 5 months ago

    U7

  • Scion of Madness
    Scion of Madness 5 months ago +1

    I swear to Cthulhu I thought she said her name was Ham.

  • Jonathan King
    Jonathan King 5 months ago

    I don't really care how we great each other for the holiday's but I would totally buy the first draft of the snowflake card.

  • suzawilo
    suzawilo 5 months ago +3

    What neither touched the milk and cookies...? 😱😱😱😱

  • David Invenio
    David Invenio 5 months ago

    Please PLEASE if anyone with the show is listening... I VOLUNTEER TO PERSONALLY FINANCE A NEW NEW OUTTRO JINGLE!!! :-) I'm actually writing some c# code that shuts my audio off at X seconds before the end of every video of Stephen's I watch! (which is to say, all of them) If that's not acceptable I would start a GoFundMe campaign! Whatever it takes!!!

    • David Invenio
      David Invenio 5 months ago

      +Jonathan Kestler I appreciate the tip! Thanks! I have a rather unfortunate terminal ailment.... I'm a software engineer! So I'm usually tying up my keyboards with remote sessions to god-knows-where trying to figure out what I broke this time! LOL Sadly I am resigned to firing up auto-play starting with Stephen and just letting it rip for an hour or so! Honestly they could blast a 10,000 decibel buzzing noise after every one and I wouldn't give up my daily dose of Stephen! LOL Were it not for him and a couple others forcing me to laugh at what's going on, I might lose my mind.... and take a WH job!!!

    • Jonathan Kestler
      Jonathan Kestler 5 months ago

      Hit the right arrow two or three times real quick at the end of the video. Takes less than a second to get to the next video.

  • Life Of Rina
    Life Of Rina 5 months ago +74

    That's my mother-in-law & I'm Todd's wife 😍
    1. she is even sweeter and cooler in person and I know how excited she must have been! So glad she got the opportunity!!!
    2. she's getting more than 1 gift for x-mas that Todd picked out for her
    3. she always tries to watch what she eats, hence the cookies look 😂😂 (yet she always tries to fatten us up with all her tasty baked goods...and it works)
    4. st.patricks day has been a HUGE family tradition for years (for the partying)
    5. she is one of the funnest and most fun loving people you could ever meet.

    • Natalie Pierson
      Natalie Pierson 5 months ago +1

      Aww, give Pam a hug from all of us who think she's awesome! :)

    • Gwyn Gator-Newt
      Gwyn Gator-Newt 5 months ago +1

      Very cool! She definitely puts out good vibes, it makes me happy to hear what a great person she is!

    • Life Of Rina
      Life Of Rina 5 months ago +4

      +debbiedoodiedandi I remember that every day! She is AMAZING!

    • debbiedoodiedandi
      debbiedoodiedandi 5 months ago +5

      She was delightful! You lucked out in the MIL department!

  • Stacey Kersting
    Stacey Kersting 5 months ago +2

    Rather than tell ppl u don't want anything for Xmas....tell them you'd appreciate a donation to your fave charity!

    • Stacey Kersting
      Stacey Kersting 5 months ago

      +BILL MURRAY Lot more fun than no gift at all.......thinking I've done something that makes someone else happy is the most fun thing of all. I have a blast every day and have everything I want. Lifting others is the best thing ever. If u are a parent, or have a younger sibling, you'll experience this on Xmas morning!

    • BILL MURRAY
      BILL MURRAY 5 months ago

      Stacey Kersting Where's the fun in THAT?

  • Libni Garcia
    Libni Garcia 5 months ago +1

    The guest who comes on stage is always sitting in the same spot... I think... Bring someone down from the balcony, man!

    • T Electronix
      T Electronix 5 months ago

      Balcony people are animals.
      Animals, I tell ya.

  • Becky
    Becky 5 months ago

    Where’s Todd at!?

  • margoelizabethmiller
    margoelizabethmiller 5 months ago +2

    He's doing that annoying "young lady" thing again.

  • brendan colliander
    brendan colliander 5 months ago +2

    Love the hugging Christmas trees lol

  • Caroline Delbert
    Caroline Delbert 5 months ago

    what a CUTE, GOOD SPORT

  • Lazy Perfectionist
    Lazy Perfectionist 5 months ago

    Q: What did one Christmas tree say to the other?
    A: "Why are we both in this living room? This family couldn't content themselves with just _one_ tree?"

  • Lazy Perfectionist
    Lazy Perfectionist 5 months ago +12

    "Todd, get her something for Christmas."
    Yeah. Something thoughtful, too. The kind of thing that you know exists in the world but she doesn't, that she would find quite useful.

    • Life Of Rina
      Life Of Rina 5 months ago +6

      don't worry, we got it taken care of 😉 (Todd's wife here)

    • S N
      S N 5 months ago +1

      that's good advice!

  • Alice LeFae
    Alice LeFae 5 months ago

    I would die for Pam

  • Zen Firebird
    Zen Firebird 5 months ago

    I got a bad joke.
    Obama, Trump, and Hilary walk into a bar and order three different drinks. The waiter come back with the drinks and a confuse look on his face. He pull out a piece of paper and look at it. He then hand him their drinks. Confused by this one of them ask what was on paper. The waiter told them that it was list of their traits. They ask to see the list and on it was the following
    Obama- Short hair
    Hilary- flowing hair
    Trump- Bird hair.
    They were outrage, Obama spoke and said "How can you confuse me for them. I'm black. The first black president at that." follow by Hilary saying "and I'm a woman. How can you not tell I'm a woman" and Trump pointed out "while I'm white as well, I'm a man. How can you confuse us?"
    The waiter then said "That because all people who come into this bar complain about how you three were corrupt politician who didn't care about who died or who get sent jail."

  • chemxfan
    chemxfan 5 months ago +2

    Mmph - it looks like even jolly ol' St. Nick is under indictment this year...LOL!

  • Christopher Yee Mon
    Christopher Yee Mon 5 months ago +2

    Pam acts comfortable like she's a real celebrity already

  • G. Cosper
    G. Cosper 5 months ago

    What if we said Super Soltice?

  • VR Ardis
    VR Ardis 5 months ago +2

    I want the liberal snowflake one! hahahaha

  • Glen DeLoid
    Glen DeLoid 5 months ago +4

    Pam was cool

  • Cosmos Runner
    Cosmos Runner 5 months ago +5

    What a great way to start the day, I love this man!!!

  • laalki80
    laalki80 5 months ago +2

    Such a nice lady. :)

  • Healing Asthma A Case Study

    Ok she was hilarious

  • Arastoomii
    Arastoomii 5 months ago +5

    RESPECCCCT, This was real cool.

  • Alex Landherr
    Alex Landherr 5 months ago +2

    The Hague can’t rule on cases between individuals, only nations.

    • MSc Bijles
      MSc Bijles 5 months ago

      They rule on war crimes, but I believe not necessarily only between nations. I think civil or tribal war crimes have also been seen there.

    • NaN
      NaN 5 months ago

      And the US don't even acknowledge it.

    • Jonathan Schneider
      Jonathan Schneider 5 months ago +3

      What if one nation's head of state sends a glitter card to another nation's head of state as official communique

  • D.M. Conroy
    D.M. Conroy 5 months ago +18

    Merry Christmas!
    Don't Lie to the FBI!

  • Ryan Sawhill Aroha
    Ryan Sawhill Aroha 5 months ago +2

    Pam was great and all, but it seems like this segment is always a white lady.... it's odd.

    • BILL MURRAY
      BILL MURRAY 5 months ago

      Ryan Sawhill Aroha Let me guess.
      You voted for Donald Trump.

  • PaleGhost69
    PaleGhost69 5 months ago +3

    What did one Christmas Tree say to the other?
    I can see your balls.

    • margoelizabethmiller
      margoelizabethmiller 5 months ago

      What does a Christmas tree have in common with a man who's had a vasectomy?
      The balls are ornamental.

  • Martingoldfire
    Martingoldfire 5 months ago +23

    Pam had great jokes, but her timing didn't fit the format. With another setup she would've killed!

  • Jeremy
    Jeremy 5 months ago +42

    You can always tell how old someone is by the number of times Colbert refers to them as "Young Lady"

    • Igor Schmidlapp
      Igor Schmidlapp 5 months ago +2

      Yound"? Are you misspelling "Young", or "Round"? ;-P

  • Chris R
    Chris R 5 months ago +53

    She looked VERY disappointed with 'milk and cookies'. I think she was hoping for eggnog at the very least. :-)

    • BILL MURRAY
      BILL MURRAY 5 months ago

      Priscilla Jimenez best to go with
      VitaminWater or 7up(no caffeine).
      Both safer and non-alcohol.
      Alcoholic 🍸 comes back to bite you in the ass in a bad way.

    • Priscilla Jimenez
      Priscilla Jimenez 5 months ago

      +BILL MURRAY he offers them alcoholic drinks all the time

    • Sheena345 M
      Sheena345 M 5 months ago +1

      I'm sure he had alternative options if she said she was lactose intolerant.

    • BILL MURRAY
      BILL MURRAY 5 months ago

      Agent Fungus That's more a Bill Cosby thing, get her drunk to have his way with her.
      Colbert is a whole different 🌎.

    • Agent Fungus
      Agent Fungus 5 months ago +2

      IKR. I thought for sure Stephen would offer spiked eggnog.

  • Gilda deSousa
    Gilda deSousa 5 months ago

    "What"?

  • s21972012145525
    s21972012145525 5 months ago +17

    Damn those cookies look really good. Kinda want some. Props to her for not eating them on tv lol

    • Priscilla Jimenez
      Priscilla Jimenez 5 months ago

      I would've lol. And would've been silly with it lol

    • BILL MURRAY
      BILL MURRAY 5 months ago

      s21972012145525 What flavor were those cookies?
      I'm real fussy about that sort of thing.
      If it's not chocolate fudge or peanut butter, I wouldn't touch them.

    • s21972012145525
      s21972012145525 5 months ago

      So tempted to go get some Christmas sugar cookies from the grocery store now.

    • Asha Mae
      Asha Mae 5 months ago +7

      Mad props to her for not immediately grabbing as many as she could carry before her mad dash at the end. It's what many (myself included) would have been tempted to do.

  • kenderoz
    kenderoz 5 months ago +37

    "Do you have a favourite place to go in New York?" "I hear the Ed Sullivan theatre is pretty nice."

  • Crunchy Chips
    Crunchy Chips 5 months ago +25

    I know it's you, Dana Carvey, you're not fooling anyone.

    • ZdenekLU
      ZdenekLU 4 months ago

      Thank you!Your comment made me laugh out loud. :)

    • Jonathan Schneider
      Jonathan Schneider 5 months ago +4

      He's a master of disguise

  • K L
    K L 5 months ago +7

    Love you Lady!! Gotta love someone enjoying life and celebrating St. Patty's regularly:) Very cool woman.

  • Kartoffel Pommes
    Kartoffel Pommes 5 months ago +92

    Aw Pam was great! Merry Christmas and safe travels!

  • Akash Mekal
    Akash Mekal 5 months ago +52

    I swear to God I thought she was Cynthia Nixon

    • Patrick Small
      Patrick Small 5 months ago

      I was thinking the same thing!

    • Lazy Perfectionist
      Lazy Perfectionist 5 months ago

      As many projects as she is known to juggle, it would not surprise me if she is on pretty soon to announce one of them.

  • Nemesis Zero
    Nemesis Zero 5 months ago +7

    It's happy holidays if you are pagan or when saying it to people that you know are Jewish or Muslim, saying merry Christmas to someone that doesn't celebrate it, is like saying happy birthday to someone when it's not their birthday.......

    • Kasper Joonatan
      Kasper Joonatan 5 months ago

      +Nemesis Zero No. You don't say happy holidays for winter solstice on 24th of December, because that's over then (it's between 20th and 23rd). So it's ok to say merry Christmas then.

    • Agent Fungus
      Agent Fungus 5 months ago

      Who cares! It's the sentiment that counts.

    • Igor Schmidlapp
      Igor Schmidlapp 5 months ago +1

      +robert leonard And "Happy Festivus" to you!
      "I got a lotta problems with you people, and now you're going to hear about it!"

    • Igor Schmidlapp
      Igor Schmidlapp 5 months ago

      +robert leonard Happy Saturnalia! ;-P

    • Nemesis Zero
      Nemesis Zero 5 months ago

      +Kasper Joonatan no because it's the winter solstice holiday we celebrate, Christmas is just the name Christians chose when stealing it from the pagans

  • Vardhan Shrivastava
    Vardhan Shrivastava 5 months ago +6

    Pam wam bam.

  • scheepalicious
    scheepalicious 5 months ago +81

    I clicked because I thought it was Cynthia Nixon in the thumbnail ...

    • lacey childs
      lacey childs 5 months ago

      OMG yes

    • T Electronix
      T Electronix 5 months ago +1

      +Michael Gomez No, you were not "click baited".

    • Jowana Bueser
      Jowana Bueser 5 months ago

      Same!

    • Michael Gomez
      Michael Gomez 5 months ago

      Click baited too lol

    • Lazy Perfectionist
      Lazy Perfectionist 5 months ago

      Don't count her out just yet. She wrapped up three big projects in 2017. It probably won't be too long before she's on with _another_ to announce.

  • guy inkognito
    guy inkognito 5 months ago +102

    Pam is delightful

  • New Message
    New Message 5 months ago +52

    What she needs for Xmas is a St. Patrick's day celebration!

  • Crmsnraider
    Crmsnraider 5 months ago +2

    Its in the cards.
    2nd

  • New Message
    New Message 5 months ago +132

    Pam might be a bit nervous, but she's got a real presence there.

    • Lynne Dee Barrett
      Lynne Dee Barrett 5 months ago +3

      +Life Of Rina ... Please tell Pam Merry Christmas from Oregon!
      A very Merry Christmas to your whole Family🎄🎅🏼🤶🏼🎄🎆🍭🥧🥂

    • Life Of Rina
      Life Of Rina 5 months ago +3

      +wesley rodgers she is 😉, don't worry! BUT, that IS always her response 😂 (Todd's wife here)

    • wesley rodgers
      wesley rodgers 5 months ago +3

      Hope she gets some...real presents. (Sorry)

    • injektileur
      injektileur 5 months ago +8

      Yes. I know I'd be petrified. She did very well !

  • Paul Saxman
    Paul Saxman 5 months ago +4

    first draft