Own Your Behaviours, Master Your Communication, Determine Your Success | Louise Evans | TEDxGenova

  • Published on Jan 11, 2017
  • This speech is a call to action. We spend about eighty percent of our day at work, the rest is at home. If we have a bad day at work we are likely to take that negativity home with us and vice versa. It is of paramount importance that we create healthy environments in the spaces that most affect our lives by giving of our best and receiving the like in return. The 5 Chairs is a powerful and systematic method which helps us master our own behaviours and manage the behaviours of others. To be a good leader is to contribute to the success and happiness of everyone, at work and at home, on a conscious level. The 5 Chairs offer 5 Choices. Which will you choose?
    Behavioral Coach, Corporate Trainer, Author of ‘5 Chairs 5 Choices’. Louise Evans heads up her own organization in Florence, Italy from which she offers international leadership development, cross-cultural transitional coaching and personal development programmes for individuals and teams working in international contexts. She is English but has lived and worked in Germany, France and for the last 30 years in Italy.
    Three things have always been important in her life - people, travel and the performing arts - all three of which she combines in her daily work. Having travelled to seven-five countries and experienced culture shock three times, Louise brings multiple perspectives to the present moment to help people connect across their differences. Louise believes deeply in people’s ability to grow and transform. What she values most is helping people strengthen their self-awareness and their understanding of others so that they bring their best selves into the world in every situation.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx

Comments • 1 019

  • Dazyredfox87
    Dazyredfox87 Day ago

    Well said greatly explained

  • Crisalida Thomassie

    Just amazing, lots of good information. Thanks so much!

  • ahmad kadango
    ahmad kadango 2 days ago

    wise stuff huh......wise

  • Ana Abraham
    Ana Abraham 3 days ago

    Thank you for your advice! I will put it into practice

  • Jim Strader-Sasser
    Jim Strader-Sasser 4 days ago +1

    Your talk so wonderfully invites us to consider our ladders of inferences. Your recommendation to stop-breathe-reflect&choose using visual checkpoints is magnificent. Thanks!

  • chibi saravanan
    chibi saravanan 5 days ago

    I was in chair of self doubt and had considered it as judging myself , I came to know that it as a mistake ,thanks a lot .

  • Ethel Peisker
    Ethel Peisker 7 days ago

    Thanks Louise, fantastic! Beautiful analogy! 💐

  • Nicholas Lwazi
    Nicholas Lwazi 9 days ago

    I'm glad I watched this video I was suffering from self doubt feelings of insecurity and anger but watching this made me to realize my problem and I'm going to teach others .

  • Ruken Akbulut
    Ruken Akbulut 9 days ago

    just by chance I saw this amazing talk, I improved my english with "English Today" .You are amazing teacher , so inspring and beautiful woman.Thanks 🤗

  • João Resende
    João Resende 9 days ago

    Great Louise. I learned a lot of english with you in " english today". Thank you.

  • Jo Otunga Ranyuongi
    Jo Otunga Ranyuongi 9 days ago


  • Indoona
    Indoona 10 days ago

    Fantastic insight into how we all have choices about how we behave and could be more thoughtful about them, often the best outcome is not the most obvious

  • Arely Murguia
    Arely Murguia 10 days ago

    This ted talk just answered the question I couldn’t figure out for myself or listen to from other people that have constantly been telling me, specially my partner.
    I can put this to work to improve my relationship with my partner as I’ve been needing to get out of the self-doubt and attack chair for a very long time.
    Wait and Connect are my goals

  • Andrew Distad
    Andrew Distad 11 days ago


  • kanchan rana
    kanchan rana 11 days ago

    So true. Can relate it easily to ourselves ... 👍

  • Eurico da Silva
    Eurico da Silva 11 days ago

    Louise thanks so much!

  • Marisol Vazquez
    Marisol Vazquez 11 days ago

    Is there a link or an option to have a translation in Spanish?

  • luminair11
    luminair11 11 days ago

    Very nice presentation and much needed advice for many of us who struggle with the younger generation's fixation on their beloved gadgets!

  • Nam Tretriluxana
    Nam Tretriluxana 13 days ago

    Love this talk. I’m going to watch it again with my family.

  • Nneka Nwaoha
    Nneka Nwaoha 16 days ago

    This is the best Ted talk I have watched so far. It speaks volumes to me most especially in my present situation. I mostly find myself sitting on the red and yellow chair when I’m upset but this has thought me a lot beyond just being right. Thank you Louise.

  • BK Gogia
    BK Gogia 16 days ago

    Simply Beautiful!

  • Omar Mullings
    Omar Mullings 16 days ago

    Bravo 👏🏾

  • Roseta Puleina
    Roseta Puleina 19 days ago +3

    This is an incredible speech and it's so inspired myself. Thanks for sharing your knowledge.

  • laarnie ang
    laarnie ang 19 days ago


  • Randy Lim
    Randy Lim 20 days ago +3

    Loved this, learnt so much. Thank you and god bless u

  • Connie Smith
    Connie Smith 21 day ago

    Good concept. Beautifully displayed and presented. Thank you!

  • resmi ratheesh
    resmi ratheesh 22 days ago

    Superb presentation 👍

    JIMIN HA 23 days ago +1

    Really great talk. It changes my life. Non-violent conversation is always powerful. Thank you, Louise!

  • Let go Accept
    Let go Accept 24 days ago +1

    Inspiring. Powerful. Clever. Loving.

  • Mohamed Nibras
    Mohamed Nibras 25 days ago

    This is really awesome and I was looking for something like this, I'm going to take these chairs to my home, workplace and everywhere to practise to create an ideal personality of my self and peopl I meet. Thank you

  • Crystal Eidanizadeh
    Crystal Eidanizadeh 25 days ago

    Great perspective! I hope I can remember to work on this everyday too.

  • RainbowByt3s
    RainbowByt3s 25 days ago

    Reminds me of Edward De Bono! Excellent!

  • Zalalaaa Mandem
    Zalalaaa Mandem 26 days ago

    Once upon a time ... me, starting a hard process to learn English language watching you on English Today. Memories... I loved hearing your voice because of it was the only voice I could understand! your intonation, your pauses, sound and speaking rythm were and are adequated to my hear... almost music. So, I started to follow all your teaching videos, and today, I still follow you beyond subject you choose to expose online. The only think that has changed is today I am learning something more than a language while I listen to you. Thanks Louise.

  • Dhai Moawadh
    Dhai Moawadh 26 days ago

    Wish I listened to this talk 10 minutes ago before I decide to act in the red chair with my partner. But, its never too late to take the purple chair !! Absolutely inspiring video !!

  • Jacqui Davis
    Jacqui Davis 27 days ago +1

    Louise, thank you, my life is can be overwhelming at times, & I have a tendency towards negative thinking. This is immensely helpful!

  • Vivi Harris
    Vivi Harris 27 days ago

    I'm glad I watched this. Thank you for sharing this.

  • R Bacha
    R Bacha 29 days ago

    Just brilliant 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • Mayamo LiDarryl
    Mayamo LiDarryl 29 days ago


  • Nghia Lam
    Nghia Lam 29 days ago

    Thank you so much for your sharing !!

  • Lady D
    Lady D 29 days ago

    Great speach!

  • Jen Hernandez-Dela Cruz

    Great talk. New learnings.

  • Khuganeswaran Jayakumar

    Very informative and eye opening talk. I really didnt think of these 5 choices in life we have, but 90% of the time we choose the first two. ATTACK and SELF DOUBT. Madam Lousie gave a perfect explanation on the choices we have. Hereafter, WAIT and analzyse the situation, DETECT the goodness and badness, finally CONNECT with compassion and understanding are the ways to mold our behaviour and make ourself better everyday. in return, the surrounding and people around us gets better. IT ALL STARTS FROM US. Thank you Madam Louise

  • Joy Jiang
    Joy Jiang Month ago

    But if you're the only one in your environment that is aware of these five chairs and is empathetic to others yet you still have to suffer from others' mean or unthoughtful behaviors, don't you get tired and just disappointed at humanity? Esp with your parents? The closer you are with someone, the worse you hurt from their unthoughtful behaviors. Good thing is that they will probably finally listen to your emotional needs because there's a good chance that they actually care about you. My personal experience is that, the five-chair choice comes more naturally with better mental health. When you're less depressed, more self-loving, it's easier to forgive and love others too. The low self-esteem and depressed me felt emotionally drained every day and slipped into a jackal more easily due to tiny triggers. It's not easy to be an all loving person.

  • James Sumili
    James Sumili Month ago

    Thank you for this talk. It really opened my eyes to what choices I have at a given moment. It was always swayed by momentary emotions and it ended up badly. I'd take the chairs wherever I go not literally but mentally.

  • chris03cha
    chris03cha Month ago +1

    This speech is beautifully said. I love your voice as well, very kind and directly spoken to individuals. 💫

  • shrow smart
    shrow smart Month ago

    nothing awesome and educative like this!Thank you

  • Carolien L
    Carolien L Month ago +2

    Very well said, i love your voice 😊 much appreciation 💝

  • Erica Ortiz
    Erica Ortiz Month ago

    This was amazing!!! Thank you...it definitely was a guy check and such a simple way to explain it!!

  • Jonathan Hoffman
    Jonathan Hoffman Month ago +1

    1. Red - Jackal = Attack / Misbehave / Judge
    2. Yellow - hedgehog = Self doubt / Vulnerable / Judge ourselves / Victim
    3. Green - Meerkat = Wait (What am I thinking / what am I telling myself) / Curious
    4. Blue - Dolphin = Detect / Assertive but not aggressive /
    5. Purple - Giraffe = Connect / Empathy / Tolerant

  • Sachi Perez
    Sachi Perez Month ago

    Amazon link for multi color chair set in description...

  • Nooshin Ghavamiadl
    Nooshin Ghavamiadl Month ago

    Really Beautiful. Thanks for sharing :)

  • ABCCoaching
    ABCCoaching Month ago +1

    Thank you - this is a great presentation and it is inspirational! I will find out about Marshall Rosenberg. And I loved the quotes and the chairs. Brilliant!

  • Gaby Rivas
    Gaby Rivas Month ago

    Love it. I’m putting this in practice.

  • Eugene Nortje
    Eugene Nortje Month ago +1

    Stunning! Thank you! You have just changed my entire life! ❤️

  • Ced 1
    Ced 1 Month ago +2

    I had concluded that I wasn't getting much from Ted Talks as a result I had added this video to 'watch later' for several months only decided to view it today. This is 👌👌👌... just superb.
    I'll share it with a lot of friends and family and on Facebook as well.

  • Pam Ross
    Pam Ross Month ago

    This ted talk is a precious gift for untrained people like myself, beautiful.

  • Mariah Delissa
    Mariah Delissa Month ago

    Lovely video, thank you :)

  • Elisa Herrera
    Elisa Herrera Month ago +2

    Amazing this is the best and helpful conversation, l can't even described my emotions listening to her. And l will practices the 5 chairs in my life. Thank you so much really amazing. 👍

  • Liyana M
    Liyana M Month ago

    The best presentation I ever saw on TED, thank you!

  • Perly Utter
    Perly Utter Month ago


    DAILY UFC HIGHLIGHTS Month ago +16

    "If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary."

    - Jim Rohn

  • renuka sharma
    renuka sharma Month ago

    The best

  • Lipi
    Lipi Month ago

    Great learning

  • olaf zen
    olaf zen Month ago

    Oryginally this is a method of Edward de Bono.

    • olaf zen
      olaf zen Month ago

      Wait! The Jackal = Red Hat, The Hedgehog = White Hat, The Meerkat = Green Hat, The Dolphin = Blue Hat in association, The Giraffe = Blue Hat in dissociation. I not understand the difference.

    • Louise Evans
      Louise Evans Month ago

      Not exactly! De Bono's' method is the "Six Thinking Hats" I instead was influenced by Non-violent communication as I stated in the talk.

  • nadia czerniakowska

    i love it

  • Tyra
    Tyra Month ago

    Wow she delivers every word with such certainty, it is so calming. I feel relaxed just by hearing her be so relaxed about herself and the universe. She should do meditation and affirmation videos or something lol

  • Marco lara
    Marco lara Month ago

    You forgot choice number six
    “Who cares if she’s on her phone. Have a good time”
    You don’t have to turn everything into a drama.

    • Laura Emily
      Laura Emily Month ago

      Marco lara In response to one of the older comments she considered this (or ‘indifference’) as being jackal behaviour.

  • Louise Evans
    Louise Evans Month ago +26

    I am so grateful to all for you for your feedback. It makes me feel both humble and useful knowing that the Chairs can in some way bring a shift into your lives and contribute to your happiness. Thank you s much for your appreciation Louise xxx

  • Terrielynn Evans
    Terrielynn Evans Month ago +1

    Thanks for showing me my hedgehog reflection! Very powerful talk!

  • ꧁cebolla꧂
    ꧁cebolla꧂ Month ago +15

    her voice is so goddamn calming and this TED talk is so important

  • Nikka Xyza Obenario

    aaaaaaahhhhhh one of the best speakers; very well said
    you just have taught people another important life lesson thank u so so much

  • Domenico Fantauzzi
    Domenico Fantauzzi Month ago

    I didn't know that you were currently in Italy. I want to tell you that you are a kind and beautiful woman. Byeeeeeeeee from Rome

  • casablanca_serene
    casablanca_serene Month ago


  • Lonje Maries Wisdom

    Depression is anger turned inward, I’m working on getting out of the yellow chair, I’m making progress I’m in recovery, thank you for this video it’s very helpful

    • Louise Evans
      Louise Evans Month ago

      I''m so grateful it can support you Lonje

  • Lonje Maries Wisdom

    Excellent thank you! You’re correct

  • cheryl bby
    cheryl bby Month ago +1

    For many years, I have given so much power to the jackal and the hedgehog but thanks to you, I am ready and willing to be a giraffe. Thank you so much for the talk, you have indeed changed my life Louise.
    God bless.

  • Eduardo B. R.
    Eduardo B. R. Month ago

    Beautiful, thank you very much for this, i wish my boss would watch this :(

  • Austin Bires
    Austin Bires Month ago

    I suffer from being in the yellow and red chair a majority of the time, and I am starting to notice that it is truly I that is ruining my time here on Earth, not anybody else. Thank you Louise! I still have a long ways to go but this really helps!

    • Louise Evans
      Louise Evans Month ago

      Great Austen. Just stop and think when you notice yourself n the red and yellow chairs and remember ' You always have a choice' :-)

  • Aggeliki Craven
    Aggeliki Craven Month ago

    Beautiful talk

    ALONZO ERNESTO Month ago

    I have to say that this was the most motivated speech. I love the presentation and how she do it so elegant thank you LOUISE EVANS

  • Eunice Nicolau
    Eunice Nicolau Month ago


  • 山本隆紀
    山本隆紀 Month ago

    hey,Louise,you did spoil one thing, losing the chance to become an actress ; p

  • Amoako Kojo
    Amoako Kojo Month ago +1

    3 minutes in and I just had to like this video.👌🏾

  • Michele Agren
    Michele Agren Month ago

    This is going to help me so much!

  • Strong Faith
    Strong Faith Month ago +9

    Should we talk about how this Lady is beautiful and elegant!.

  • Jafeia
    Jafeia Month ago

    By far the best Ted talk I have seen !! Amazing job, thank you so much !

  • carina zaharia
    carina zaharia Month ago

    Your speech is fantastic! And your advice is so rational and awesome! Very thanks for your metaphors and lovely explanation, this made my day!

  • Joseph Fernando
    Joseph Fernando 2 months ago +1

    This turned out to be much deeper than I expected and it turned out to be a great guide on perspective and understanding the real truth and not the false one that our mind can perpetrate which in turn affects our behavior towards others. At this stage of my life, it really made sense to me to be more patient before jumping to conclusions and judging people based on their actions or words. Thank you for sharing.

    • Louise Evans
      Louise Evans Month ago

      Thanks so much Joseph and good luck with the Meerkat chair :-)

  • nazaninmansouri
    nazaninmansouri 2 months ago +2

    Loved it! One of the best talks i have watched. I have to immediately go through it and take notes. Very well thought out and executed. Thank you.

  • Julian Jr Dalignoc
    Julian Jr Dalignoc 2 months ago +1

    One of the best TED talks I've watched! It reminds me of myself back then and now I learned how t control my feelings and emotions.

  • Afro Afro
    Afro Afro 2 months ago +1

    This probably is one of the best RU-clip video i have ever watched with serious attention and with with a lot of meanings to redefine myself.

  • Sue Shang Yang
    Sue Shang Yang 2 months ago +1

    Thank you , I enjoyed this so much!!💗

  • Psychicange Tarot
    Psychicange Tarot 2 months ago +1

    Very helpful and much needed for me today. Thank you for posting this. I am now going to shift from the red chair ( misbehave, gossip , punish, judge , self doubt, cautious and vigilant ) to the ' connect '. Excellent advise for resolving conflicts and more understanding and meaningful connections with others for sure.

  • Johnson Tian
    Johnson Tian 2 months ago +1

    Fantastic speech! So thought provoking discussion on emotional intelligence.

  • Amn
    Amn 2 months ago +1

    Marvellous Conference, really clarifying :D !

  • monica susana guerrero
    monica susana guerrero 2 months ago +1

    Excelente pero.... necesito leerlo en Español! gracias!!!

    • monica susana guerrero
      monica susana guerrero 21 day ago

      @Louise Evans estimada Louise,, no encuentro que la opción Español o Castellano esté en el menú de idiomas,

    • Louise Evans
      Louise Evans Month ago

      Hi Monica. You can select subtitles for the talk and choose Spanish. Good luck

  • Dr.Ashu Bhardwaj
    Dr.Ashu Bhardwaj 2 months ago +2

    Inspiring and thought provoking Louise....you added value to the concept 👍👍
    Thank you so much for sharing!!

  • Khasoa Prosper
    Khasoa Prosper 2 months ago +1

    My morning cup of tea
    We love you from Africa

  • Merkury Kadyceusz
    Merkury Kadyceusz 2 months ago +1

    This is just a method of Edward de Bono. But there should be one more chair and then this is the method six hats.

  • Friedrich. Nietzsche
    Friedrich. Nietzsche 2 months ago

    I could live with this woman