Cue Cards From Trump's Oval Office Address

  • Published on Jan 10, 2019
  • Behind every terrible man is an even more terrible cue card guy.
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Comments • 266

  • jalamela Ki
    jalamela Ki 4 months ago

    But the problem with him is He cant READ . . !

  • Julio Campbell
    Julio Campbell 4 months ago

    Theres a cheaper solution for the Honduran caravans, just say you don't support the druglord dictator of Honduras and as the dictatorship crumbles(yes thats all it takes for it to happen)they will see hope in their future and probably will stay

  • V W
    V W 4 months ago


  • MatchstalkMan
    MatchstalkMan 4 months ago

    Those writers… comedy gold!

  • Mike Okkerts
    Mike Okkerts 4 months ago

    Dear USA, grit your teeth, make a cup of tea or ask some garage anaesthesiologist to put you in an induced coma for 2 years. It will all be over soon.

  • neurofire
    neurofire 4 months ago

    Who told Trump he could do legit theatre? That's all this was - acting by an aging C-list soap-opera hack. Fail.

  • Izael M
    Izael M 4 months ago

    Excellent 🤣

  • K Deronimo
    K Deronimo 4 months ago

    Does anyone else catch Heelhigh-Cheeto's "ah-speech" ... "I have a large ah-brain" "my fellow americans, tonight I'm ah-speaking to you"

  • Ashura Marsh
    Ashura Marsh 4 months ago

    Hm, cue cards? supposing he can read? That's giving him a lot of credit.

  • Juan Riptide Camacho
    Juan Riptide Camacho 4 months ago

    I was concerned the POTUS was gonna need Hooked on Phonics, Level 1!😂🤣😁😛😜

  • Matthew Roy
    Matthew Roy 4 months ago +1

    Con man

  • ramo moreno
    ramo moreno 4 months ago

    chump is russia's tool 2 destroy usa making MEXICO great again

  • Oskar Denis Baharudin
    Oskar Denis Baharudin 4 months ago

    There's a good theory that Trump can't read; he's a functional illiterate. He can't read from TelePrompters, so he pooh-poohed Obama using them, for example. The reason he's so low-key during his Oval Office address is because he did the whole speech from memory; he was concentrating on reciting the speech as he memorized it.

  • Melissa Alnardo
    Melissa Alnardo 4 months ago +1

    This is too hilarious !!! 😂

  • Mike Walker
    Mike Walker 4 months ago +1

    That trade deal was made with Mexico and Canada. So I guess Canada is paying for the wall also?

  • Samuel T
    Samuel T 4 months ago

    Great humor.
    But there's also a element of sadness to it...
    Trump doesn't even need cue cards; this kind of thing just comes naturally to him.

  • Sean Inness
    Sean Inness 4 months ago

    trump would read out the stage direction, "not so lie-y. What? Uh... uh... lock her up" Runs away.

  • Rita Hall
    Rita Hall 4 months ago

    Would it be cheaper if US immigration policies strongly incentivized Israeli Zionists to immigrate to our southern border and invest in US by building the wall?

  • Desert Flower
    Desert Flower 4 months ago

    ATTENTION EVERYONE! Read The Federalist Papers, you can find them on

  • Do not subscribe to me- or thanos won't like it

    I need to learn 2 Page worth of Essay to give speech in school
    *Meanwhile POTUS can't remember 1 page worth shit content*

  • Allison Rader
    Allison Rader 4 months ago +1

    He looks like he's about to have a stroke, trying to keep up with all those big words. Reminds me of the time, when I was 7, and had to read a Bible passage for the Christmas Program at church. All those jacked up names and cities. Smh.
    It's very unnerving to read in public when all you've acquired in your life is a First Grade education, isn't it Donnie?
    PS Fuck your wall. Let those people go back to work!! They are going to lose their homes you nutsack!!! Then what?! Ooohhhh let me guess: they might have to apply for aid aaanndd that would make them leeches of the system?? OMG.... what a fucking JOKE this guy is. 🙄🙄🤣🤣🤢🤮

  • Noel Ryan
    Noel Ryan 4 months ago +3

    "My fellow Americans. I am a puppet named Charlie McCarthy and my Ventriloquist Edgar Bergen AKA Vladimir Putin has his hand up my rear end dictating my every thought, word and action. This broadcast is coming from Vaudeville, not the White House. The Presidency of the USA has been turned into a complete Side Show, way off Broadway. Any resemblance to Good Government and Democracy is purely accidental. Good Night and Good Luck. You're going to need it, Trust Me!"

  • Adrian Osler
    Adrian Osler 4 months ago +1

    the problem is in this day and age leaders must not only be good domestically but globally. trump maybe perceived as great by joe american but he has to be seen as a global player and all he is seen as globally is a spoilt child who cannot get his way and does nothing but hurt americas position as a global player basically he needs to grow a pair and grow up

  • Mike Gill
    Mike Gill 4 months ago +2

    Yeah, if your electorate is dumb enough, this would suffice...

  • Adam West
    Adam West 4 months ago

    Someone do us a favor, someone take colbert down, figuratively of course, we need a real Comedian like Carson or .... ANYONE... His shyte and I mean Shyte is way old. Nothing new...

  • Truong Nguyen
    Truong Nguyen 4 months ago +1

    Wow!my trump can read...You dem nuts are just fake

  • hatfieldrick
    hatfieldrick 4 months ago

    Which law enforcement professionals are demanding a wall? Deputy Dawg, Quick Draw McGraw, and the Sheriff of Snottingham? Amendment 25 was just MADE for incompetent psychopathic liars like him, and it is waaaaay past time to demand that it be used.

  • Kel Green
    Kel Green 4 months ago

    Am I the only one who heard, "tonite, imma speakin to you. . "

  • Michael ThaArchAngel
    Michael ThaArchAngel 4 months ago

    They should use hexadecimal on this martian😂😂😂😁😜😝🤪

  • rschandran
    rschandran 4 months ago +1

    We have national emergency from January 2016 and that is the man in the WH himself. DT It gives a new context to the old saying, "you can fool some people for some time, fool most for most of the time but you can lie to entire USA all the time.

  • R Z
    R Z 4 months ago +1

    "Lie! Not that much! Whatever I don't give a s***!" - The cue card man

  • chris casey
    chris casey 4 months ago +4

    He's like watching your kids elementary school play.

  • Chunkboi
    Chunkboi 4 months ago +8

    If the cue card holder had just held up the “stop breathing “card for just 15 minutes longer, he would have been a national hero.

    • acct4u
      acct4u 4 months ago +2

      lol good one!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol

  • Madara Uchiha
    Madara Uchiha 4 months ago +1

    What a outstanding idiot😌

  • Larry Garland
    Larry Garland 4 months ago +3

    "Godfather, I am honored and grateful, that you have invited me to your daughters wedding.......on the day of your daughters wedding...."

  • Town Grouch
    Town Grouch 4 months ago +1


  • SchrodingerIsAlive
    SchrodingerIsAlive 4 months ago

    *money grows on walls actually*

  • Jack O'Neil
    Jack O'Neil 4 months ago +1

    This is so manipulative

  • KLM Hooked Moore
    KLM Hooked Moore 4 months ago +3

    The man is beyond stupid.

  • AThagoras
    AThagoras 4 months ago +2

    Trump can actually read! Who knew?

    OHFORPEATSAKES 4 months ago +6

    I guess the 'caravan with thousands of terrorists' turned around...

  • AtheistCitizen
    AtheistCitizen 4 months ago

    he was 'espeaking to you' . I is he eforiegn?

  • Ellis Dee
    Ellis Dee 4 months ago

    I don't get it. Is this supposed to be funny?

  • Alex Scher
    Alex Scher 4 months ago +1

    Trump doesn't need a cue card to lie

  • David Porter
    David Porter 4 months ago

    Make unemployment easier for federal workers

  • 刘宇龙
    刘宇龙 4 months ago


  • hugh jorgan
    hugh jorgan 4 months ago +1

    Dear Mr Colbert...happy new year! You're off to a bad start. I'd hoped you might take a better approach to your comedy in 2019. You've spent the last two years hurting the country with divisive, politically one-sided propaganda. All cleverly disguised as "satire".
    But it's early. In 2019, I hope you show some semblance of personal integrity, stop the lies-by-omission, and have an America-first approach to your comedy.
    And I'll even offer you and your writers a few great topics for 2019 monologues/jokes:
    1. Elizabeth Warren wanting to run for President? Aside from the many possible jokes on her Native American scam, she's a walking funny-quote machine.
    2. Stormy Daniels.? You managed to leave all references to Bill Clinton out of your jokes last year. It's comedy gold to use his impeachment in comparison to Trump's lies.
    3. Speaking of lies..maybe you should use 2019 to remind Americans (using "satire" of course) that Obama's lies on the Affordable Care Act were Politifact's "Lie of the Year" for 2013? And maybe joke about how the Supreme Court recently determined the ACA is unconstitutional? Thus removing the only remaining tangible legacy from 8 years of his globalist leadership? (come, on there's some humor in there, I know it)
    4. Border security? Maybe you could joke how both Obama and Hillary wanted a permanent barrier with Mexico and knew illegal immigration is a massive issue? And the Schumer/Pelosi response (the hallway podium speech) to Trump's address is a Morticia/Gomez joke writing itself! (It was that scary. Particularly for Democrats)
    5. And maybe joke in 2019 how Trump has improved domestic and international security, won trade deals, sustained massive job growth, brought corporate spending back, and implemented historic tax reforms and foreign policies. He's only 2 years into his first term.. and has already corrected many disasters left by the Obama/Hillary era. There's got to be some good jokes in there...right? ..;/
    etc, etc
    I hope you get the point. Please consider 2019 as an opportunity for you to help the country with balanced satire...rather than hurt it with divisive lies-by-omission and propaganda.

  • Guy Mcafee
    Guy Mcafee 4 months ago +2

    Donny is just proof we need to pay closer attention to our education system. Their is obviously a problem when trump is elected. This whole presidency from the start should have been laughed out of the primary. 2020 is almost like turning the 16th birthday with that freedom of a lisence but intead it will be a new president. God im old

  • Rebecca Treeseed
    Rebecca Treeseed 4 months ago +75

    Why did you remind him to breathe?

  • Choo Choo MotherTrucker
    Choo Choo MotherTrucker 4 months ago +1

    Talking is now an exercise?

    • Allison Rader
      Allison Rader 4 months ago

      You'd think. By the pained look on his face.....😬

  • Laurent Bennis
    Laurent Bennis 4 months ago

  • lunabranwen
    lunabranwen 4 months ago +4

    He lives in a total fantasy world

  • Tejas Nair
    Tejas Nair 4 months ago +1

    “Tonight I am misspeaking to you”

  • Vince Nguyen
    Vince Nguyen 4 months ago

    This is a national embarrassment for USA. 800,000 workers work no pay. If this goes the opposite then the govt would fine private company for work no pay. Do not trust the government because they will twist in their favor. Hold on to your money my American friends. Trust one one or entity but yourself. I am Chinese and I approved this message.

  • pop5678eye
    pop5678eye 4 months ago +2

    Obviously just a silly joke. Trump doesn't need cue cards to remind him to lie.

  • DanGan808 Ella
    DanGan808 Ella 4 months ago

    What makes this clip even funnier is the thought that this is exactly what is happening for real whenever Trump is on tv giving a speech! 😂

  • spenx09
    spenx09 4 months ago

    Umanitarian, professials, dude, even with a script, the guy can't talk

    • BoojumFed
      BoojumFed 4 months ago

      I've been saying it for years: His dad suffered from Alzheimer's for years before he died, and that shit's hereditary...

  • retnavybrat
    retnavybrat 4 months ago +3

    Trump did seem to be sniffing a lot during this speech.

  • retnavybrat
    retnavybrat 4 months ago +3

    This is fake! 😉 Trump doesn't need cue cards to know when to lie. 😁

  • It is I
    It is I 4 months ago +5

    Basically exactly how it went down

    • retnavybrat
      retnavybrat 4 months ago +1

      Except Trump really doesn't need a card to remind him to lie.

  • Anjishnu
    Anjishnu 4 months ago +2

    "The wall would, very quickly, pay for itself"

    • BoojumFed
      BoojumFed 4 months ago +2

      Behold! The world first toll-wall!

  • sgauntt
    sgauntt 4 months ago +1

    This show has really gone downhill...

  • Grimread
    Grimread 4 months ago +4

    I thought that your president was a muppet. I was wrong. Muppets don't fluff their lines.

  • M B
    M B 4 months ago +1

    HAHAHAHA hilarious I'm laughing so hard

  • Inglorious Basterd
    Inglorious Basterd 4 months ago

    The guy holding the Q cards (I forget his name) used to write for Conan and is one of the funniest and best writers out there.

  • Paul Paulson
    Paul Paulson 4 months ago +4

    Cue cards against humanity

  • chasemebaby
    chasemebaby 4 months ago +5

    President Coke Nose is so Gross to look at and listen to.

    • acct4u
      acct4u 4 months ago +1

      Do what i do!!! ...turn on "closed caption", mute sound and move your screen up so you only see the words and not dumpasss!!!!! lol

  • Moumita Sarkar
    Moumita Sarkar 4 months ago

    Makes sense absolutely!🤣🤣🤣

  • nickrich56
    nickrich56 4 months ago

    Canada plans a 3000 mile border hedge of 20 foot pot plants. That should keep out undesireable bigots.

  • Cypresssina
    Cypresssina 4 months ago +5

    I guess, Hooked on Phonics worked for him....

  • William schlenger
    William schlenger 4 months ago +2

    My fellow Americans, I am a moron &your president. 😂😂🤡🤡

    • retnavybrat
      retnavybrat 4 months ago +1

      That would be one of the few times he's spoken the truth during his presidency.

  • RustyTube
    RustyTube 4 months ago +1

    It’s time to drain the Trump.

  • Melody Chest
    Melody Chest 4 months ago +5

    Thank you and goodnight! P.S. The wall if built, will eventually cost 25 Billion Dollars and take 10 to 15 years to complete across 2000 miles and no one is even thinking about it?? .. haha!

    • Melody Chest
      Melody Chest 4 months ago

      +hugh jorgan I did read that ariticle that you gave the link to. The article is not specific to the southern border .. it gives cost profiles for detaining people USA-wide through every and any entry point. It also makes the point that detaining people has become a private business in private prisons! So the USA government are only paying its own people to do a job which is NOT money down the drain, rather jobs and income for USA citizens which comes back to the economy.

    • hugh jorgan
      hugh jorgan 4 months ago

      Melody Chest..It appears you didn’t read the link. And I even provided an anti-Trump biased article from CNBC to encourage people to read. You’ll see that my numbers are actually on the low end. You could easily double the 7 million.

    • Melody Chest
      Melody Chest 4 months ago +1

      @+hugh jorgan America is not spending 7 million per day policing the southern border! You are talking about other ports of entry.

    • BoojumFed
      BoojumFed 4 months ago +1

      +hugh jorgan Or you could fund the Coast Guard and Border Patrol (like the Democrat-led House of Representatives bill does) and get better results for less money. If Trump cared about actual immigration issues, he could have used his majority to fix them unopposed anytime over the last two years instead of _cutting_ funding to the Coast Guard that sees just as much undocumented traffic as the land Border Patrol does. (Pro Tip: Ships hold more people than trucks do.)

    • hugh jorgan
      hugh jorgan 4 months ago

      We spend about $7 million ..PER DAY detaining illegals and undocumented. That's over $2.5 Billion per year. And that's a very generous estimate that doesn't include all security and labor costs. Although a permanent barrier and enhanced technology won't stop all illegals, even if it stops 50% the wall pays for itself in a couple years.

  • Jupiter Kansas
    Jupiter Kansas 4 months ago +6

    Wasn't acting all presidential and making speeches like this the exact thing he used to make fun of on the campaign trail?

  • Darnell S.
    Darnell S. 4 months ago

    Dumb fake teeth bonespurs having racist grandpa president

  • Made4542
    Made4542 4 months ago +5

    Almost spit out my pizza in laughter rofl.

  • Mark Parris
    Mark Parris 4 months ago

    Trump is also president of The Human Fund. Because most people are human.

  • Steven Cahn
    Steven Cahn 4 months ago

    Wait, Drumpf didn't say, "God bless America"? BURN THE HERETIC!!!

    • BoojumFed
      BoojumFed 4 months ago

      If you think _that's_ an issue, wait until you notice that he (in the original speech) claimed to have sworn an oath to "protect the country" instead of the actual presidential oath of protecting the _constitution_ . (Which, coincidentally, is the exact document he's trying to _bypass_ with his "Gimmie my funding or I'll pout more!" schtick...)

  • foggyblues13
    foggyblues13 4 months ago +2

    Fake News! He can't read.

  • FriendlyRambler
    FriendlyRambler 4 months ago +2

    Stephen, please do a segment on the absolute cruelty of trump's threat to cut off help from FEMA for the California wildfire victims. His absolute disregard for the suffering that people here have gone through is pure evil. This is clearly a vindictive action, since he didn't get his way about the wall.

    • hugh jorgan
      hugh jorgan 4 months ago

      Perhaps Californians should be asking why their State spends 10s of $billions each year providing aid, services and "sanctuary" to illegals? That money could be very well spent on wildfire victims.

  • Chuck Stark
    Chuck Stark 4 months ago +2

    Um. Of course we need a wall. Now that the Border Patrol Agents are not getting paid. Good job.

  • I would prefer not to.
    I would prefer not to. 4 months ago +4

    It sounds like Trump says "I'm misspeaking to you", which, ironically, would be the first truthful thing he's ever said!

  • Jessie Jordan
    Jessie Jordan 4 months ago +1

    I thought I was the only one annoyed by his breathing lol

  • superplan89
    superplan89 4 months ago +2

    It’s like a kid
    In a government play reciting lines

  • Tina Murphy
    Tina Murphy 4 months ago

    Whenever Trump has to appear sincere -
    he has cue cards.
    The inhumanity.

  • Steffan Shurkin
    Steffan Shurkin 4 months ago

    The implication that Trump can read made me laugh. It made the plight of those plucky cue-card holders that much more... uh... heroic?

  • Mike Davison
    Mike Davison 4 months ago

    You got the third card wrong.
    It's "Tonight I am espicking to you"

  • acct4u
    acct4u 4 months ago +4

    Dump would rather climb a tree to tell a lie….
    than to stay on the ground and tell the truth!!!!

  • Sheri Mignano
    Sheri Mignano 4 months ago +1

    no cue card to snort?

  • acct4u
    acct4u 4 months ago +7

    WOW, I've never been to a comment section where this isnt a dumpturdd on it!!! Refreshing!!!!!!

  • Sam Striker
    Sam Striker 4 months ago +3

    Lol. Like Trump can read.

    • Allison Rader
      Allison Rader 4 months ago

      Barely. Didn't you see him Super Concentrating? Like a 9 year old in a Spelling Bee?

  • nuwavghost
    nuwavghost 4 months ago +4

    I’m just amazed ¢hump is somewhat fluent in English.

  • FILMPOT Productions
    FILMPOT Productions 4 months ago +6

    He says 'My fellow Americans, I'm misspeaking to you'. He does.

    • MLG HELP
      MLG HELP 4 months ago +1

      Its bcuz his dentures were slipping again lol🤣😅

  • infirmux
    infirmux 4 months ago

    In Polish there is an idiom for this (to twist everything round): to turn a cat by its tail.

  • Mimi M
    Mimi M 4 months ago +79

    Mexico is NOT paying for the wall, directly or indirectly.

    • Trumpty Dumpty your fall is coming!
      Trumpty Dumpty your fall is coming! 4 months ago +1

      +hugh jorgan No one ever said there wasn't an Immigration issue or cost. But the Trump wall cost is stupid, because 1. He had a 2 Year total control over Congress to get it done and his own party did 'not' want it. 2. It's a 2,000 Mile Border, which will cost a tremendous amount more the $5.7 Billion. 3. People can & will go under, over, around and through a wall.

    • Alba G
      Alba G 4 months ago +1

      +hugh jorgan dude, the inmigrantes crisis haven't been a crisis since like 3 years ago
      Now it's just a problem, but not in any way a crisis, people love to exaggerate

    • hugh jorgan
      hugh jorgan 4 months ago

      Allison Rader ..I agree with you. As Trump has said countless times, all legal immigrants and asylum seekers are welcome. In fact, we need them. But there has to be reasonable limits. And each person has to be carefully screened. The world has changed a lot.
      Look at the crisis in many European countries where lack of control of immigration has led to massive problems. Many countries now have anti- immigration leaders and parties winning support. This is because citizens have seen the culture of their countries deteriorate. Or there’s increases in crime and terrorism.
      Globalization is a great idea on paper...but i think it’s failing in practice. Trump’s America-first approach is necessary. And appreciated.

    • Allison Rader
      Allison Rader 4 months ago +4

      +hugh jorgan You don't think revamping Immigration Laws will help? So people don't have to lie? Make it less of a business and get back to what it used to be? Back in the day, it didn't cost 7-12k per person to become a citizen. Hell my family couldn't afford that right now! Could yours??? Immigrants made this country. Implying (not that you did) that all immigrants are criminals, drug dealers and rapists is not only ignorant.... it's flat out not true. No one is saying let whomever, whenever come in when they please.... but if they have no criminal record and are hard working people who just want a better life? Why CAN'T they be here?

    • hugh jorgan
      hugh jorgan 4 months ago +2

      We spend about $7 million ..PER DAY detaining illegals and undocumented. That's over $2.5 Billion per year. And that's a very generous estimate that doesn't include all security and labor costs. Although a permanent barrier and enhanced technology won't stop all illegals, even if it stops 50% the wall pays for itself in a couple years.

  • nelda blanco
    nelda blanco 4 months ago +7

    "Misspeaking" to you...yes!

    • sprusbdwrm
      sprusbdwrm 4 months ago

      I thought he was doing the Hispanic "espeaking"

  • Mr. Fox
    Mr. Fox 4 months ago +6

    and got bless the United Statshh

  • Greg McCombs
    Greg McCombs 4 months ago +1

    this is hilarious....

  • Ganiscol
    Ganiscol 4 months ago +6

    Did you see how he had to pinch his eyes together to read from the prompter? I'm still not convinced its bad eyesight that makes him mispronounce so many fairly easy words...

  • Markshi Beblue
    Markshi Beblue 4 months ago +1