Learning to Love Yourself | Amanda Jetté Knox | TEDxYouth@Nepean

  • Published on Aug 2, 2017
  • In this TEDx Talk, Amanda shares her inspiring journey of self love and acceptance through personal stories which are sure to capture any audience.
    Amanda Jetté Knox is an award-winning writer, human rights advocate and speaker.
    The mother of three believes passionately in equality for all, and that acceptance and compassion for ourselves brings acceptance and compassion for others. Her writing has been featured on Upworthy, Buzzfeed, CBC, the Globe and Mail, and various other national and international outlets. Amanda lives in Ottawa, Canada, with her wife, daughter, two sons, and a coffee maker that never quits. She regularly blogs on her personal site, themavenofmayhem.com.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Comments • 190

  • Dr. Faustus
    Dr. Faustus Day ago

    I really wish I knew where to begin

  • Der John
    Der John Day ago

    I don't get it. I believe I can love and appreciate and care for others but I don't understand how to apply it on myself. There is nothing I like about myself.

  • Susan Mohammed
    Susan Mohammed 7 days ago

    Sorry about your psst but the bible says why gain the world and loose your soul. Draw close to Jesus

  • Luckycat Fly
    Luckycat Fly 13 days ago

    What if u don’t like your self because of what u did to yourself

  • Rose Lynn Monroe
    Rose Lynn Monroe 13 days ago

    I never knew my mother

  • highfigh999
    highfigh999 14 days ago

    WTF? This is the worst self help video of all time.

  • Blackthorn
    Blackthorn 16 days ago

    Should I love myself if I'm a horrible person?

    • Nono Malk
      Nono Malk 8 days ago

      Blackthorn yes if u try to change and be a good one

  • dealingwithkatherine
    dealingwithkatherine 27 days ago

    Moral of this video: have a kid if you want to love yourself

  • BTS Fanboy
    BTS Fanboy 27 days ago

    BTS brought me here

  • skynard83
    skynard83 28 days ago


  • Izzy the Potato
    Izzy the Potato Month ago

    Idk how old this video is, but last year, I started to try and love myself and it's been hard, but at least I'm trying. This video helps, so thank you for uploading it. -I

  • Maria Paz Carvacho
    Maria Paz Carvacho Month ago

    This is so brave and amazing. Thank you!!

  • Michael Gaeta
    Michael Gaeta Month ago +2

    the camera guy sucks

  • gggrow
    gggrow Month ago

    Thanks Amanda :)

  • hussein Dehhaghi
    hussein Dehhaghi Month ago +1

    Thanks for sharing your story. I really enjoyed your presentation. But the amount of time spent on telling your story was way more than the part you learnt to love yourself. Thanks again

  • Mary Ann Hoffman
    Mary Ann Hoffman Month ago

    What a beautiful person to share such a difficult story! U r such an inspiration! Hugs to u And give your daughter the biggest hug! ❤️ Good luck to u both! I know u found the key is loving yourself because u just glow!!!!! U look fantastic!!!!! Hope I can learn from u! Thank u!!!

  • Brooke Bishop
    Brooke Bishop Month ago +2

    Amen to this. Trying to work on myself and love myself because no one will love me quite like me.

  • flowerchild467
    flowerchild467 Month ago

    What a lovely lady she is

  • Ashley Areas
    Ashley Areas Month ago

    I think my self esteem was always messed up since a child my mother would always chose her boyfriend and as I got older men always chose other women... I’m glad I’m realizing this .. I’m sorry if I’m over sharing but we can definitely all face our shadows in life it’s all about confronting them

  • Kimberly Page
    Kimberly Page Month ago

    Thank you

  • Raphael Santana jr
    Raphael Santana jr Month ago

    I needed this. Thank you

  • asalafanclub
    asalafanclub 2 months ago

    Thank you very much for sharing this with us.

  • Tyler Manuel
    Tyler Manuel 2 months ago

    6 month old baby wouldn’t even no, would they?

  • Brittanie Broughton
    Brittanie Broughton 2 months ago +6

    Your dress looks beautiful on you x

  • Dan Trouble
    Dan Trouble 2 months ago

    Thank you Amanda for your empowering message.

  • D Chry
    D Chry 2 months ago

    What ever👎🏼

  • Jorge Andrade
    Jorge Andrade 2 months ago +2

    I started to think of myself as my own son and what I would push my son to do or learn if I were my own kid.

  • Jakov Dolic
    Jakov Dolic 2 months ago

    Oh you sad thing, i like that your fight is going for better, and check vipassana meditation if you really looking to get deeper involved in learning to love yourself, thats next level babe 😘

  • jodiebug1
    jodiebug1 2 months ago

    This was so great! Really touching. This is such a great example of how loving others uncoditionally and seeing their lack of self-love and self-acceptance can break us out of our preconceptions of our own unworthiness.

  • Padma Priya
    Padma Priya 2 months ago

    Who is doubting if she's related to Amanda Knox ( Netflix doc)

  • Scarlet Summer
    Scarlet Summer 3 months ago

    I'm so sorry kids treated u like that and those girls who put u on fire should be in jail!

  • Yoga Philosophy Club
    Yoga Philosophy Club 3 months ago

    I made a video on this nonsense..

  • Ruby Parga
    Ruby Parga 3 months ago

    You are beautiful. Thanks for the advice. I'm learning to love the little monster in me.

  • Eponine Reads
    Eponine Reads 3 months ago

    I want a friend I can hold hands with down the street and still have a platonic relationship with her.

  • Ashley Kurien
    Ashley Kurien 3 months ago +11

    I hope she pressed criminal charges to those who set her on fire 😡

  • Earthwit
    Earthwit 3 months ago +1

    Such beautiful words. Thank you for sharing your precious experiences with us!

  • Lexi poo
    Lexi poo 3 months ago +1

    This was too short.

  • Diana S
    Diana S 3 months ago +1

    She broke my heart

  • Villainous Vigilante
    Villainous Vigilante 3 months ago

    Well good luck with that :/
    Honestly! Some people don't have any redeemable qualities. Namingly all the people who did this to you....and yet they probably love themselves......sad

  • Raven Blakely
    Raven Blakely 3 months ago

    Thank you to everyone who is willing to love them selves no matter what, because if you love yourself love follows you everywhere you go

  • Wicked Sandy
    Wicked Sandy 4 months ago +2

    Listening to this in valentines

  • Carly Erasmus
    Carly Erasmus 4 months ago

    What a fantastic Tedx Talk! Amanda, I think that you have hit the nail on the head with so many issues we all tend to have with ourselves and some stage in our lives. I hope you beautiful daughter is doing well and loving her life. Thank you.

  • Laney Sweet
    Laney Sweet 4 months ago +7

    Is someone playing ping pong in the background? 🤦🏻‍♀️ The sound is super distracting.

    • angstandmore
      angstandmore 22 days ago

      No, they're washing dishes. 😁😁😁

  • Christy Cavacos
    Christy Cavacos 4 months ago +1

    I love this video. It made me cry. Your story is very similar to mine. Thank you for sharing it.

  • Nikki Knak
    Nikki Knak 4 months ago +7

    Who's in the background making all that ruckus? RUDE!

    • Jupiter Astronaut
      Jupiter Astronaut 2 months ago +2

      Sounds like they’re playing table tennis lol, I had to tune it out

  • Cyn24
    Cyn24 4 months ago +1

    My God what a brave strong incredible woman!! I'm on the journey of loving myself. Thanks for this!!

  • Winona Daphne
    Winona Daphne 4 months ago

    i didn't see HOW you became to love yourself. you just talk like "this happened to me, this happened to me, i did this, i did this"

  • Warren Moore
    Warren Moore 4 months ago +1

    OMG, this is like "Carrie."

  • McKenzie West
    McKenzie West 4 months ago

    Its beautiful that you realized you needed to see your own worth in order to show your daughter how to love herself. Growing confidence is harder than it seems and it is pure love to share that with someone else. Thanks for your story. All the love in the world to you and your family. xo

  • Joshua Kim
    Joshua Kim 4 months ago

    Really needed to hear this. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

  • Kate Mokhovikova
    Kate Mokhovikova 4 months ago +1

    One of the best TED talks I've ever seen!

  • Shaun Naruto
    Shaun Naruto 4 months ago

    Thank you Amanda. God bless u

  • Chiz KNows dA biz yeet
    Chiz KNows dA biz yeet 4 months ago +1

    TED, why would I take advice from a child abuser? She says to love yourself, yet proceeds to tell her child to change themselves against their true biology....? Her whole message is confused. So is it change your self until you love yourself or love yourself even with your flaws?

    • Chiz KNows dA biz yeet
      Chiz KNows dA biz yeet 4 months ago

      @Sheila May How is trans different? Its a body dysphoria, just like thinking that you're the wrong body shape, or skin colour. Just because its about gender, doesnt mean its different.

    • Sheila May
      Sheila May 4 months ago

      To love yourself and accept. However trans is completely different then getting a nose job.
      To have a mother lovingly accept her daughter as she feels inside is love. It is not a superficial, '" I just want to look like this" type of mentality.

  • Nepenthe
    Nepenthe 5 months ago +1

    It makes me smile to see that people are actually trying to love themselves because when you set a goal to do something and try to do it than you can surely achieve it. Sitting their and complaining that you already tried to love yourself isnt gonna do you any better. Hard work pays off and if you want to love yourself than you have to try and dont give up.
    I went through the same I really hated myself. I slowly but surely started to love myself and to this day, im still learning but I can tell you that I am much better than before. If I learned how to love myself than I am 100% sure you can too.

    You are beautiful the way you are and you shouldnt change yourself for anything, love yourself.

  • Thomas McGill
    Thomas McGill 5 months ago

    You know why you're obsesses about loving yourself? Because you know your lifestyle is intrinsically screwed up and need to apply some kind of balm to justify it. LMAO.

    • Spira Lotus
      Spira Lotus Month ago

      Thomas McGill If you had self-confidence, nothing that anyone does with their life would bother you.

  • Never Beaten
    Never Beaten 5 months ago +1

    All the sounds ughhh!!! Stop moving ffs its so distracting whoever u are. Rusty school desk whatever that is!

  • orange70383
    orange70383 5 months ago +3

    I'm ok with myself but I'm disappointed that I'm lazy and don't care to interact with people because they might want to go somewhere and do something and I enjoy doing nothing, in fact I very much love doing nothing and being by myself.

    • Kat Rivers
      Kat Rivers 3 months ago +1

      See here, you just interacted with a person & I didn't ask you go anywhere. Older people enjoy sitting & talking & do tend to resist going out. Maybe you have an old soul. Or things you need to talk about & work out before you feel more comfortable out.

  • Evilkitty
    Evilkitty 5 months ago

    I am a trans boi, and I just hate myself. Before realizing I was trans and even more so after. I got a haircut but, I still look like a girl. I hate myself so much and I just want to die. I’m not going to do anything with my life and I will never have a happy life. I hate everyone and everything. I just want to die.

    • Jennifer Lee
      Jennifer Lee 4 months ago

      Are you okay? I know it's tough right now but don't give up

    • Chiz KNows dA biz yeet
      Chiz KNows dA biz yeet 4 months ago

      TED, why would I take advice from a child abuser? She says to love yourself, yet proceeds to tell her child to change themselves against their true biology....? Her whole message is confused. So is it change your self until you love yourself or love yourself even with your flaws?

  • J
    J 5 months ago

    You should be proud of yourself Amanda, and you’ve inspired me to do the same. Thanks!

  • Luz Medina
    Luz Medina 5 months ago +11

    What is that noise in the back? It's there someone building something?

  • J.T.Farrier.
    J.T.Farrier. 5 months ago +39

    What a tragic story of life until she was 37. I wish l could have been a friend to her. What a beautiful, confident woman she is. 💗💕🌸

  • Steve Simkins
    Steve Simkins 6 months ago

    Bet she loves herself - those should lose weight heading for heart attack

  • N I— Oop
    N I— Oop 6 months ago

    Setting someone on fire? Really?

  • Big Kin
    Big Kin 6 months ago +3

    I love every single moment of this speech I love her a lot.

  • Mixed Beauty
    Mixed Beauty 6 months ago +2

    I’m so proud of you I’m in tears

  • KeithoW
    KeithoW 6 months ago

    The ultimate NEVER HAPPENED story!

  • raincoat •
    raincoat • 6 months ago +16

    I feel like this all the time. I don't buy stuff to myself, or i feel guilty if i do, because i feel like i don't deserve it. I feel that i'm being selfish and i should stop. I have few friends at school but they are all transferring to another school next year. I don't know what i'll do. I'll be all alone. I get anxiety attacks and regret everything i say. I came here searching help, and stumbled across to this. It was helpful, very important message. But even after this if i try to think differently, i feel like lying and it feels worse. I'm really lost.

    • Patricia Vasilache
      Patricia Vasilache 2 months ago

      You have to practice self love... reprogramm your mind. Write down some positive affirmations and read them daily few times a day. In 21-30 days you ll be another person! You can do this!

  • Alex's Animals
    Alex's Animals 6 months ago +319

    I love myself. Even if I look like a *burnt chicken nugget* I still love myself

  • misshellokittynerd
    misshellokittynerd 6 months ago +1

    I love this!

  • Olive Carrick
    Olive Carrick 7 months ago +1

    yo i'm balling my eyes out watching this

  • Iris
    Iris 7 months ago

    I feel like it would be better if we were all the same. Why do some people want to be different ? There aren't any pros of being different than everybody

    • Sketch Love
      Sketch Love 6 months ago

      Believe me when I say I used to think like that. But i realized that if we were all the same life would be boring. Everyone would have the same interests, same thoughts, same lifestyle. Imagine living in a neighborhood where everyone looked and acted the same. We need difference to make life intresting, that's why opposites attract. Having someone who acted just like you would easily become predictable and boring.

  • Felicity Jones
    Felicity Jones 7 months ago +1

    Thank you for posting this talk. I hear ones like this often but have a hard time relating to someone's story. However, I relate to yours in many ways. If you can do it, then there is a lot of hope for me. I am 25 and finally realizing that everything that I have gone through, is not my fault...which is really hard to accept but I know that when I fully accept that, it will set me free. I have a lot of work to do. Thanks for helping me along the way. This is the first thing I woke up to this morning.

  • Raven I
    Raven I 7 months ago

    8:25 it gets better!

  • Emily Gasparova
    Emily Gasparova 7 months ago +2

    This video came to my life the moment i really needed it ❤️ thank you!

    • David Nunez
      David Nunez 2 months ago

      Emily Gasparova I’m in your life at a good time too

  • benny tam
    benny tam 8 months ago +1

    She used the word " I " many times in her talk. Sounded depressed.

    • Chiz KNows dA biz yeet
      Chiz KNows dA biz yeet 4 months ago

      TED, why would I take advice from a child abuser? She says to love yourself, yet proceeds to tell her child to change themselves against their true biology....? Her whole message is confused. So is it change your self until you love yourself or love yourself even with your flaws?

  • Matt M
    Matt M 8 months ago

    Thank you for sharing, Amanda.

  • Germaine Ir
    Germaine Ir 8 months ago +1

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’ve been feeling insecure and have forgotten to love myself in all ways that I am. Beautiful message. Thank you so much.

  • Atomics
    Atomics 8 months ago +2

    Disappointed. I thought they were gonna learn the lyrics to "Love Yourself" from Justin Bieber. 0/10

    • Sourclout
      Sourclout 7 months ago +3

      You know you hate yourself as much as I do.

  • SCL75
    SCL75 8 months ago +4

    What’s with the pots n pans smacking around. Nice lady and speech

  • candice griffith
    candice griffith 8 months ago +3

    I too have experienced many of the same things (other than being set on fire, that's horrible. I'm sorry you had to go thru that) I trying to learn how to live myself at 37. Unfortunately I really have no idea what love feels like. So i'm guessing.

    • Lilly Grier
      Lilly Grier 5 months ago

      It can be simple kind gestures too your self if you have ig follow @mentalemotionalwellness

  • The Park
    The Park 8 months ago

    Everyone should hear about this

  • Rachael Rios
    Rachael Rios 9 months ago

    Beautiful message. God bless you

  • Raha Rahgozar
    Raha Rahgozar 9 months ago +1

    love yourself
    love myself

  • xXNeonVenomXx
    xXNeonVenomXx 9 months ago

    11:00 we dont meet it, but we dont need it ;)))))))) (it rhymes hehe)

  • Ole K Engeland Sjursen
    Ole K Engeland Sjursen 9 months ago

    You are a huge inspiration! Thanks :)

  • Wubba Lubba Dub Dub Pickle Rick

    I feel like I'm bullshiting myself when I try to tell myself something positive about me.

    • sharokina isho
      sharokina isho 13 days ago

      Apple Goblin so trueeee omg

    • Sammy Pinkie
      Sammy Pinkie 13 days ago

      OMG SAME

    • Fred Weeks
      Fred Weeks Month ago

      @orange70383 it's just rewiring the way you think people who love themselves talk to themselves in that way we've just developed an unhealthy relationship with ourselves. it feels foreign to start with but it's just rewiring the way we think about ourselves

    • idk pt 2
      idk pt 2 Month ago

      I feel like a narcissistic when i even 'like' myself

  • Rin Shizuka
    Rin Shizuka 9 months ago +4

    If you love yourself, do you have to be happy all the time?

    • David Nunez
      David Nunez 2 months ago

      Rin Shizuka no

    • Sheila May
      Sheila May 4 months ago +4

      I dont think so, I think loving yourself would be giving your feelings validation and showing some compassion as you would for somone else. I think its unrealistic to be happy all the time

  • MsDee2 you
    MsDee2 you 9 months ago

    Thank you for sharing your story with me today..

  • Ilse
    Ilse 9 months ago +11

    Really nice message. But can that someone please sit still

  • The Rich Finaldi Paradigm Life Perspective

    so sad let me know tell you so sad

  • Michael Collier
    Michael Collier 9 months ago +4

    I really relate to her experience. Unfortunately I still haven't figured out how to love myself even though lord knows I've tried.

    • Cory Weeks
      Cory Weeks 3 months ago +1

      Michael Collier why is anyone else more lovable than you? We start out the same, born as human babies so why can’t we achieve the same? We deserve just as much as anyone else LOVE, RESPECT, and HOPE

  • ANGEL Moore
    ANGEL Moore 9 months ago +5

    The bullying sounds similar to my story

  • Kuc Duc
    Kuc Duc 9 months ago +1

    Go listen to “love myself” by BTS, you’ll love yourself after that I swear to god

  • Itzamet Rodriguez
    Itzamet Rodriguez 10 months ago +1

    wow I really needed this

  • thephilosopherslegacy
    thephilosopherslegacy 10 months ago +32

    What a terrible beginning to life you had, but I’m so glad you have managed to turn things around for you and your daughter. God bless

  • Yoga Philosophy Club
    Yoga Philosophy Club 10 months ago +5

    So how is loving yourself different then narcissism?

    • ravenfirepheonix
      ravenfirepheonix 6 months ago

      Narcissists look down upon others

    • Yoga Philosophy Club
      Yoga Philosophy Club 7 months ago

      J O-T well a quick google search came up with the opposite definition here is my copy and paste “a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.”

    • J O-T
      J O-T 7 months ago +1

      Narcissists hate themselves and make their immediate comfort their no.1 issue

    • Yoga Philosophy Club
      Yoga Philosophy Club 7 months ago

      Maryana Nava that’s the dream, but in reality this goal is never reached. Self absorption is directly related to depression, selflessness leads to happiness, and anyone can start living selflessly right away and feel the happiness, anytime you do something for someone else you immediately feel happy, it’s not so complicated

    • Sameera Williams
      Sameera Williams 8 months ago +8

      Narcissism is beyond self love. Self love is knowing your worth and knowing what you deserve. Narcissism is being self absorbed and only caring about yourself and not others feeling cause you’re the “best”

  • Desmora Aromsed
    Desmora Aromsed 10 months ago +3

    im telling you kids and teens can be cruel to each other too

  • ZFofficeonly
    ZFofficeonly 10 months ago +38

    skip to 7:10
    you are welcome

    • Kyūden
      Kyūden 3 months ago

      Why is this comment so far down the comment section, I had to scroll back to like
      but it's actually 10:40

    • Crypto Pirate
      Crypto Pirate 4 months ago +1


  • Gifty Kargbo
    Gifty Kargbo 10 months ago +3

    Wow. I’m speechless. This was nothing less than amazing.

  • That LuckyGuy
    That LuckyGuy 10 months ago +11

    loving yourself is giving yourself the best treatment ever and achieving our own goal what we want with all of our might.