How to find the right partner | Tony Verheij | TEDxTwenteU

  • Published on Nov 5, 2013
  • This man can tell you anything about making big money with less effort, but he also has a very interesting story about true love. And it is this love-story that will inspire you in this talk. Listen to his talk and learn the secrets of how to find the right partner, right now!
    In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Comments • 765

  • erfansvideos
    erfansvideos 11 days ago +1

    This is probably one of the very few time we actually see the TRUTH. This is who we truly are people..imperfect. I give this man a lot of credit for showing his vulnerability which is EXACTLY what he’s talking about.

  • Nia Rose
    Nia Rose 16 days ago

    I see myself in him!!

  • Tim Johnston
    Tim Johnston Month ago

    no, wait. I think I do see what hes saying. This happened to me and a lady friend I met 2 yrs ago.

  • Tim Johnston
    Tim Johnston Month ago

    came for what the title said. still unclear to me. sorry. seems like a nice guy tho

  • Intuitivelogic
    Intuitivelogic Month ago

    I believe in the potential idea of love at first thought , given that the thought is expressed in a thorough manner that shows many aspects that the person has a compatable personality to mine .

  • Kierkegaard
    Kierkegaard 2 months ago

    Lay off the meth fella.

  • Seti Depp
    Seti Depp 2 months ago

    The person passing the presentation has 80% of the fault here...

  • Billionrosannae Chhouk
    Billionrosannae Chhouk 2 months ago

    Lovely presentation. My only critique is to diversity the images of deception (currently mainly women and old women are used as images of being dishonest or unattractive).

  • Rami Sen
    Rami Sen 3 months ago

    Showing ur real face to the one who is worth for showing❤️

  • Notmytoe
    Notmytoe 3 months ago

    He should write a book or maybe some articles.
    He seems like he has some wise things to say but speeches aren't the best way for every single person to share their knowledge. And that's okay, but I would really like to know what he can say on a medium he is more comfortable with.

  • anabellschan
    anabellschan 3 months ago

    I just want to have an idea about to recover , when you show your truly face, and open your heart and get just desception, I've just see the video, and I don't know how can I trust against, and recover

  • Fiona Krommenhoek
    Fiona Krommenhoek 3 months ago

    Hij is Nederlands zo te horen 😂

  • Kei S
    Kei S 3 months ago

    This is a very sweet, short yet for me, ground-breaking. True love is based on love and acceptance of who you are which will only happen if you show your true self.
    Moreover, true love is based on loving the person because you love them as who they are without subconsciously thinking that you will manipulate them to change in the future,

  • conchita roxas
    conchita roxas 3 months ago

    Wow I like they love each h other I wish I like that

  • Héctor Palí Maldonado


  • besiana mani
    besiana mani 4 months ago

    So refreshing to hear his talk. Great topic and message with such raw authenticity, rare to find.

    GERMAN ORDOÑEZ 4 months ago

    With big p...p...p...potential, jajajajajaja !

  • Rosemary Benitez
    Rosemary Benitez 4 months ago

    💛 amazing

  • Sara S.
    Sara S. 4 months ago

    To be honest, this is the most interesting presentation i've seen. It was so wrong but it seemed to flow so well, that got me thinking that he maybe wanted it to be like this, ending with "if you open your true self, people will love you" and he opened himself and his stage fright and now our emotions have intensified towards him! Brilliant ! Takes regular presentations to a different level.

  • aina may
    aina may 4 months ago

    That is ulfo

  • Batool
    Batool 5 months ago

    is this ted talk or fart talk?

  • Code: 08:11
    Code: 08:11 5 months ago

    Waste of 4 minutes

  • hossein abdolmotalebi
    hossein abdolmotalebi 5 months ago

    It is not so hard to have a note with you , you know

  • Dylan De Loe
    Dylan De Loe 5 months ago

    This was a bad presentation. Not for his skills as a speaker, but for how vague and misleading the conclusion is. "If you want to touch a woman, you have to touch her heart. If you want to touch a man's heart, you must touch him," is a massive overgeneralization. Some people don't want to touch or be touched, sometimes they want to be heard, or be helped, or to spend quality time with someone. The conclusion also betrays what came before it, about taking off our masks and showing who you really are. That point is also mostly vague, but not helpful as well. If you're messy by nature(like me), maybe you DO need to clean before your lover gets home. Build habits of personal growth, go beyond your limits, change bad behaviors into good ones. Be honest that you struggle with something, but don't stop working at it.

  • Troja Sin
    Troja Sin 6 months ago

    grt msge frm his gesture

  • Sanjay Dabholkar
    Sanjay Dabholkar 6 months ago

    This was really funny 😅
    I loved his presentation.. felt real

  • Bas •
    Bas • 6 months ago

    This reflex very much of myself especially my personality and my presentation that I recall. And I'll tell you now that the thing is I, or we, may not do very well to memorise the whole thing and perform on that basis, but I do much better in expressing myself though, indeed, I'm nervous as much whether if I'd be able to communicate or not. Anyway I agreed on this short and remarkable speech. I now sending my love. God bless.

  • chonita bonita
    chonita bonita 7 months ago

    A very sincere and touching talk. I enjoyed it.

  • Omansh Kumar
    Omansh Kumar 7 months ago

    Bakwaas hai

  • Judit Dirda
    Judit Dirda 8 months ago


  • nouran samy
    nouran samy 8 months ago

    I got impressed by this man ,his authentic speech deliverd all what he asked for, to be yourself to have enough courage to show your flaws and confess your faults as if this is the last time to talk about yourself, so you need to be wholeheartedly honest about who you are ..the biggest life challenge ever foe all of us to be ourselves .

  • Kostas stv
    Kostas stv 8 months ago

    One of the most boring speeches in TEDx.

  • Lana Schott
    Lana Schott 8 months ago

    He was sincere and genuine I don’t think American men know how to be like this.. it could be a European thing... I opened my heart to someone I fell in love with too quickly I couldn’t contain my emotions and it scared me because I have never been like that But he ran away afraid of his emotions so I guess on the end it wasn’t meant to be. Being a Sagittarius I am emotional but at my age I’ve learned to tamper it but not in this situation which ended in heart break 💜😔

  • Jon Aedyn King
    Jon Aedyn King 9 months ago

    might be the most heteronormative tedtalk I've ever come across

  • Kris S
    Kris S 9 months ago

    I like the message but I hate that it’s very hetero-focused

  • Crystal Rios
    Crystal Rios 10 months ago +2

    7 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

  • Jupiter Astronaut
    Jupiter Astronaut 10 months ago

    I wish he could get a second chance to make his message clearer

  • Marwa Radee
    Marwa Radee 10 months ago

    so sweet

  • varq j
    varq j 10 months ago

    I salute ur courage .I do also have stage aint easy to stand in front of people and share what u want to share....thank u for sharin ur wisdom about this talk...

  • Amira Akmal
    Amira Akmal 11 months ago

    Thank you so much for the efforts I enjoyed your talk

  • Mr. Perfact.
    Mr. Perfact. 11 months ago

    Looking partner PM please.!

  • Gidda Eliasel
    Gidda Eliasel 11 months ago


    IFEOMA NEWS 11 months ago

    I see both sides, the title is misleading. Yes the man is nervous and trying his best, however there were times my mind blanked out while watching this because, I didn’t know where he was going with his speech. People who probably clicked on the video, maybe are looking for more direct advice. That might be why, there are not so many kind comments. At the end of the day, it’s not his daughter. It’s whoever decided to title this video and post it for all to see.

  • Niva-Or Ruvio
    Niva-Or Ruvio 11 months ago

    Thank you

  • Yeon-Sil Yi
    Yeon-Sil Yi Year ago

    Thank you Tony for sharing wonderful insight! Your message is so simple and no-brainer but we do get along with our daily lives not aware of that powerful message. Thank you for reminding me and presenting me in a clear and concise manner. I really appreciate it!

  • Céu Lopes
    Céu Lopes Year ago

    Verheij is a Dutch name. He is our Dutch Pride....! Tony's performance is very good! Hugs from Holland!

  • Ali ŞEN
    Ali ŞEN Year ago

    worst talk ever

  • Amanda Jane
    Amanda Jane Year ago

    Thank you Mr. Verheij. I suffer from stage frights but you taught me something other than what you're delivering. You've taught me that being myself is the only confidence that i need. Plus, you nailed it! :)

  • Binta Bajaha
    Binta Bajaha Year ago

    Mufti menu

  • Choppers Hair Studio

    Bless his heart! It will get easier for him.

  • tiaraalexus
    tiaraalexus Year ago

    loved his message

  • Sissi Panastash
    Sissi Panastash Year ago

    When l was nine years old, my parents divorced.I was afraid of all the people.I know now, l don’t afraid to laugh 😂 bad or good things will come.

  • Riccardo Moretti
    Riccardo Moretti Year ago

    I'm single and have a good heart,

  • Geoffrey Lee
    Geoffrey Lee Year ago

    Patience has worked for us.

  • The Joker
    The Joker Year ago

    That was good. About the real self, it suits very well. People tend to use masks when they want to attract someone, but when it comes to relationships it is no good, because you are lying to them, and the real you will appear sooner or later.

  • Amanpreet Gill
    Amanpreet Gill Year ago

    My opinion, which doesn't matter, but whatever: I think the reason why there are negative comments, is because the set up. The viewers expect certain standard when it comes to videos from TedxTalks. Clearly, Mr. Verheij's presentation has plenty of room for improvement and perhaps a more appropriate video would be after Mr. Verheij's has presented a number of times.

  • Jesus Loves You
    Jesus Loves You Year ago

    I am from India n arranged marriage is common here.
    My family force me to merry a guy with whom I don't even met in my life. I wanna to do Job. Plz anyone suggest me what should I do?

  • Swapnil Jadhav
    Swapnil Jadhav Year ago

    The presentation was built up very well
    Dude had pretty solid points on all grounds

  • Dahlia Hawthorne
    Dahlia Hawthorne Year ago

    I feel so bad for him, I want to go up there and comfort him aaaahhhhhhh

  • Marina Udovcic
    Marina Udovcic Year ago

    WHY didn't he use prompts? Lack of good preparation?....He didn't show a lot...and he had good intentions...and, most likely, a lots more to offer.....Sounds cruel, but it was waste of my time.....

  • asha2569
    asha2569 Year ago

    You people who didn't get anything from this needs to step back and listen with your heart, not with your ears and then you'll connect with it better...

  • macolga100
    macolga100 Year ago

    It's been scientifically proven that we perceive better halting speech

  • Rollastoney
    Rollastoney Year ago

    Props, Probably tons of people im that room

  • sun shine
    sun shine Year ago

    It was pretty cool

  • m
    m Year ago

    Shittiest presentation I've ever seen. I could have got this info from a hallmark card!! Lmaooo

  • Nov W
    Nov W Year ago

    This is his second presentation?

  • Magdalena Baltokaitė

    How did u found someone to marry u

  • Magdalena Baltokaitė

    Formula to love- be yourself? Wtf dude even my sister who is inlove with guy from 1direction has better understanding of love

  • Magdalena Baltokaitė

    This speak sucks. He said no true information. Completely helpless. Just keeps saying bulshit and nothing real. Im not single by the way and i this i know better than him how to find a true love. Atleast i can explain it better.

  • Jessica Herbert
    Jessica Herbert Year ago

    Good on him for getting out of his comfort zone! I appreciated his talk and his core message. I understand his nerves, I am the most confident person one on one or small groups but put me on stage and I begin to get flustered and the nerves come thtough. Not bad for only his second presentation ever.
    Peace, Positivity & Good Vibes!X

  • Patrizia Fallini
    Patrizia Fallini Year ago

    magnifique grazie bedankt

  • Krystal
    Krystal Year ago

    this guy isnt even married

  • S. Edwards
    S. Edwards Year ago

    That's for sure keeping it real

  • Heather Johnson
    Heather Johnson Year ago

    It starts to make you wonder if anyone has any actual, real genuine answers?

  • Tawana Martin
    Tawana Martin Year ago

    I like how he have a potential love connection at the end..... lol....

  • Tawana Martin
    Tawana Martin Year ago

    Lol.... great points.... so true....

  • Nefelibata
    Nefelibata Year ago +1

    This is why I will remain single in this lifetime, according to this person anyway.

  • Maverick kanaV
    Maverick kanaV Year ago

    Still no one loves me for what I am

  • white hanzo
    white hanzo Year ago

    the problem is.....i never wear one mask when I met people (or girl/woman), as I always try to be nice to others..
    how could I take off one? please advice, it seems to me that the girl/woman I like just like a man with mask...
    in other word, alpha male :D

  • Özlemim Özlem
    Özlemim Özlem Year ago

    sen anlattin abi yaa?

  • Laura Fragoso
    Laura Fragoso Year ago

    Ah why so much hate ! If anything I was like awwe is so good so wise I would just love to hear him speak more :D


    Real authentic delivery---time and experience can help but courage is probably the biggest part of speaking in front of groups. This man has that courage. :) Bravo.

  • Razvan Rogoz
    Razvan Rogoz Year ago

    I can empathize with his lack of fluidity. I’ve been there. Before criticizing him, give a speech in front of 100 people.

  • Tanyss Buchanan
    Tanyss Buchanan Year ago

    What a sweet, brave, authentic and genuine soul. His wife is very lucky

  • Joel Wallenius
    Joel Wallenius Year ago

    I like this guy a lot.

  • larry wilson
    larry wilson Year ago

    He believes in love at first sight. That's refreshing.

  • Mark M
    Mark M Year ago

    Poor guy

  • r leaf
    r leaf Year ago


  • 李玙
    李玙 Year ago

    This is the worst TED talk I've even seen!

  • Leo Jakobsen
    Leo Jakobsen Year ago

    mainly crisis blame vebdmq length vegetable demand initiative phase weight.

  • LoveMe,com
    LoveMe,com Year ago +2

    In a relationship if you really love her/him you have to accept her/his flaws and love her/him with no limits

    • LoveMe,com
      LoveMe,com Year ago

      That's love because if you just like him\her base on his appearance that's not love it's attraction.

    • Ron Losacker
      Ron Losacker Year ago +1

      why should have no limits?

  • Elena Kusevska
    Elena Kusevska Year ago

    I think that Love at first sight is not the same as lust at first sight. Lust is the instinctive thing. But, I think that, sometimes people just have an immediate, intuitive connection, and that's different.

  • Mandeep Kaur
    Mandeep Kaur Year ago

    I am not getting his point

  • Shree Reshe
    Shree Reshe Year ago

    Omg omg! The most wasted ted x speech I have ever heard! Sorry no offence but I had nothing to take from this.

  • Jessie Hillberg
    Jessie Hillberg Year ago

    To be honest, I feel like I listened to a tree. I came here because of details. Not for common sense.

  • Martin G
    Martin G Year ago

    A load of drivel.

  • Malu Maldonado
    Malu Maldonado Year ago

    Tony I loved your presentation, I wish you had more time so I would learn more. Thank you, keep the good work!!

  • Sarah Lucescu
    Sarah Lucescu Year ago

    "thank you for sending me your future wedding cards" lol perfect

  • Juilee Baride
    Juilee Baride 2 years ago +1

    Tony, you did a great job! I wish I could know more of what you had skipped so I could learn more about how to find the topic!It takes courage to stand up on stage and talk.

  • Iniobong Usoro
    Iniobong Usoro 2 years ago

    lovely TEDx Talk, Tony is a real person with real fears, I respect his courage to attempt to speak publicly even if he is nervous.